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Official Announcement from GOONS

 

For years the Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence and Sadism has been providing entertainment to goons from Something Awful on Planet Bib. Today our long struggle begins a new chapter as the Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence and Sadism will be ceasing operations due to winning the game entirely!

 

GOONS will be operating under the protection of Umbrella until the migration of its players to their new homes is complete. We thank Umbrella and our allies over the years for their loyalty, the longevity of most of our bonds, and their immensely valuable support and advice.

 

The primary new home of GOONS will be Umbrella, with some GOONS selecting another alliance, depending on how they wish to celebrate the victory we enjoy and celebrate today. 

 

- For GOONS Government

-- ComradeMilton, Pilot

-- Marx, Co-Pilot

-- Bear Retrieval Unit, Strategos

-- Some econ dude

-- Some FA dude

-- Council: I think there are five? Something like that.

 

Sardonic, on 27 Aug 2015 - 4:49 PM, said:
It is unfortunate that this came to pass, but despite what our detractors may think, by my metrics, I have succeeded in what I set out to do, as has, in my estimation, GOONS.  This might seem foolhardy to some, after all, what coalitions did GOONS lead?  What lasting political initiatives did we spearhead?  What enemies did we punish?  All questions that more traditional alliances tie themselves in knots attempting to find and create the answers for.
 
But this was not our path, that was not our reason for existence.  My reason for continuing to lead GOONS was simple, it is the same that other goon organizations live by: to provide a place for goons who wish to play here to do so.  The reason that others stayed here, as best I could tell, was to troll the heck out of idiots within the confines of a structured system.  You, reading this, were likely never our target (unless you are Methrage, in which case, thank you for your service, we couldn't have done it without you).  Our targets were the very kinds of people who the mercy board was created for.
 
You'll note I said idiots, not idiot alliances.  Some may be surprised to learn that we never really considered any alliance as our enemy (despite what some government members' personal feelings were).  For us it was always a matter of individuals, ironic as that may sound from an extremely collectivist alliance like GOONS.  Individuals and the events surrounding them were the bread and butter of the alliance's raison d'être.  Each rogue, each new drama extended the lifespan of our alliance by weeks, in the case of some, months.  To say we fed on the attention given to us by our detractors and rogues is an understatement.
 
Having said all that, you can see why we came to the conclusion we did: the pool is drying fast.  We are all in a world drenched in the shadows of the past, clinging to what little new illumination of relevance and meaning we can find, reigning over our empires of ashes, praying for a final chapter, and yet unwilling to make the final move.
 
I will leave you with a message of warning, and a message of hope:
 
Even if you are not willing to admit the end times are near, something has to change.  If nothing changes, this world will die an ignoble death.  If you truly care for this world, and what we all accomplished here, you will not let it die a heat death, starved of activity.
 
I had a plan, I shared it with some of you.  I saw a way to change the world, to produce something wholly unique, something worth fighting against.  Something to give us all the reason that was escaping all of us.  But I was not strong enough, not dedicated enough to see it through.  Perhaps I will be able to return and revisit it someday, or those I shared it with may carry the torch, but that chance seems small.  The horrors of the plan may have been more than even the most ambitious could tolerate.
 
This is what the world needs, and I call on all the alliance leaders of the world to remember their roles as shapes of the world, not merely passengers.  Do something.  Anything.  We cannot count on those above us to save this world, even if a blinding of the great eyes that watch over us, or a universal forgiveness of past misdeeds would do wonders for this place.
 
As I said though, there is reason for hope yet, I am convinced that in the final hours of the world, many of us may find the meaning that has been missing for so long, even if it was not the meaning we expected.  Regardless, I intend to be there when it comes, with all the remaining troops I can muster.  With the right people in play, I know that the final act will be magnificent, and I call upon the leaders of the world to begin seriously planning for it, and more importantly what they want out of it, lest they lose their chances forever.
 
For the time being though, I am gone from this plane.  My time here has been a most welcome distraction, and my friendships with many of you have been meaningful.  I wish all of you the best, particularly those who fought in defense of GOONS.
 
I will leave with this simple quote, to sum up:
 
Do not go quietly into the night;
Dehumanize yourself and face to bloodshed.

 

 

Edited by ComradeMilton
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I declare victory over the Order of Sadism, good you saw things my way on that being a terrible theme.

I'll give you guys the chance to create a new image for yourselves with the death of the AA I always found myself at conflict with. A step in a better direction for you guys, maybe you do have do you have some potential in changing opinions about you guys.

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Also congrats to Milton on being the new Pilot, I think it was 4 wars I've had with the Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence & Sadism over the years, but I'm glad to see my former allies in Umbrella & TOP no longer linked to an AA which promotes Oppression & Sadism as part of its theme. Good luck, we had some interesting wars over the years. However reform is what I wanted to see from GOONS & it seems you're able to do it.

Edited by Methrage
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The name "GOONS" had always give me a warm fuzzy feeling.  It harkens back in the early days of the Unjust War.  All the scheming, planning, chaos, confusion, uncertainty, entertainment, creating waves.  All of these adjectives define GOONS. You have always been our most stalwart ally, through the worst and the best, through disbandment and reformation.  Despite all the chaos, despite all the craziness, that is all thing GOONS, you guys are alright.  Welcome to the fold (and thank you for the tech  :ehm: ).  At the end of the day, you are right.  You have earned the right to disband based on your own free will.  That, my friend, is a victory.

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What will become of the Goon Order of Neutral Shoving? Are they the new GOONS now or an unprotected AA?

 

Edit: Thought you guys were transferring to the Goon Order of Neutral Shoving at first, but seems that isn't run by Milton at all?

Edited by Methrage
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What will become of the Goon Order of Neutral Shoving? Are they the new GOONS now or an unprotected AA?

 

Edit: Thought you guys were transferring to the Goon Order of Neutral Shoving at first, but seems that isn't run by Milton at all?

You should raid them for sure...:p

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Yeah we are totally unprotected you should attack us totally.

Since you seem to always get excited by the prospect of war with me & have a grudge you can't let of; this is your chance to come at me if you have no longer have any ties to prevent you from doing what you really want..

 

I guess with the Milton led GOONS disbanding, will you be Co-Pilot or Pilot of this other GOONS you seem to be reviving now, despite before claiming to sit on the AA for the purpose of preventing it from revived?

Edited by Methrage
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