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Found 12 results

  1. Official Announcement from GOONS For years the Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence and Sadism has been providing entertainment to goons from Something Awful on Planet Bib. Today our long struggle begins a new chapter as the Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence and Sadism will be ceasing operations due to winning the game entirely! GOONS will be operating under the protection of Umbrella until the migration of its players to their new homes is complete. We thank Umbrella and our allies over the years for their loyalty, the longevity of most of our bonds, and their immensely valuable support and advice. The primary new home of GOONS will be Umbrella, with some GOONS selecting another alliance, depending on how they wish to celebrate the victory we enjoy and celebrate today. - For GOONS Government -- ComradeMilton, Pilot -- Marx, Co-Pilot -- Bear Retrieval Unit, Strategos -- Some econ dude -- Some FA dude -- Council: I think there are five? Something like that. Sardonic, on 27 Aug 2015 - 4:49 PM, said:
  2. As agreed upon three weeks ago, the official end of the "Doom War" has been reached with the following agreement: The Order of the Paradox surrenders to the forces of the Independent Republic of Orange Nations, Viridian Entente, Fellowship of the Wolves, and Nusantra Elite Warriors. Signed for The Order of the Paradox, Grandmaster - iamthey Grand Chancellor - Centurius Grand Hospitaller - Salajol Signed for the Independent Republic of Orange Nations, The Warrior - President, IRON Councilor Third King - Secretary of State, IRON Councilor Blade 619 - Minister of Defense, IRON Councilor Rhizoctonia - Minister of Internal Affairs, IRON Councilor Mandarijn - Minister of the Vault, IRON Councilor Signed for the Viridian Entente, Goldie, Lord Baltus, Duke Sweeeeet Ronny D, Secretary of Defense Supreme 142, Secretary of State Cardsrock32, Secretary of the Interior Lieutenant Yenroh, Secretary of Economics Signed for the Fellowship of the Wolves, Alpha - Canik Shamans - ShouAS, Dcrews, TDLS Signed for the Nusantra Elite Warriors, Nusantra Family
  3. I've come to discuss something rather disturbing....TOP's war performance (or lack thereof) in the last two global wars. Let's rewind to Disorder, TOP at the time, one of the leaders of that coalition, coasted through the war with roughly 60-65% of it's entire AA in peace mode. (I will concede there was some cyclers, but the % in PM remained consistent and there were lots who stayed hippie from start to finish). They then had the gall to be a prime mover behind the NPO peace mode terms (If I get bored enough I'll cycle back through some old threads and find some delicious quotes from TOP re: NPO's use of PM in the upper tier) Now last war, every time this was brought up, TOP used the "we're an upper tier AA, we are fighting where our coalition needs us, etc. etc". Which of course is bullshit because after the first week of war the Platysphere coalition needed more help in the middle/lower tiers than the uppers Fair enough though, nobody cancelled on them, it was a winning war and their nations weren't needed for victory, everyone get's a free pass. Now we come to this war... TOP currently has 72% of it's entire AA in PM (it peaked at 75%). This war they are apparently a mid/low tier AA and fighting where their coalition needs them :S. And get this, the best part is I've heard a rumour (cannot confirm but am reasonably certain it's true) that TOP is actually trying to negotiate it's upper tier entering the war. By negotiate I mean they are basically slinking around trying to get certain AA's to pinky promise not to hit them if they come out. I am under the impression that without this guarantee, then TOP's upper tier will remain in peace mode. So there you have it ladies and gentleman, TOP doesn't bring it's nations out to fight to defend it's allies or you know, itself. Oh no, they will only bring their nations out if the big meanies promise not to hurt them :/ So why post all this? Well honestly I am curious to know why anyone even bothers holding a treaty with them at this point? Is dealing with ponies really worth being able to count on 1/4 of their AA to fight in your time of need? Or are they good to ally so you have a bit of overkill in one small tier when you manage to get on the right side of a curbstomp? I am genuinely puzzled and hope someone can enlighten me :/
  4. Buying tech. 3mil for 500 tech. You want it, I got it, come get it. I currently have 7 out of 7 aid slots in use. Would prefer tech sent first.
  5. The recent outbreak of conflict between III Percent and [insert name of one-man AA here] has laid bare a longstanding problem within our community, a story of misused rights and wantonly exercised power that has spanned the existence of Bob itself, damaging the very firmaments of the world and leaving many unwilling or unable to assert their agency over the events of this plane. Too often have we seen individuals take to the OWF and mercilessly abuse that which cannot fight back; today, we announce our refusal to stand silently and watch this maltreatment continue. This is an injustice up with which we shall not put. They Wont Take Are Freedom's An Optional Protectorate Agreement Between Sengoku and The English Language Clause I: Sengoku agrees to do its utmost to protect the English language from those that seek to do it harm. In return, the English language will overlook any mishaps that arise when hartfw has been drinking, or his keyboard is broken for the third !@#$@#$ time this week. Clause II: Sengoku has the option, but not the responsibility, to defend the English language by any means necessary. This may take the form of relentless spell-checking, links to grade school resources, or even military action if necessitated. The English language is not required to likewise defend Sengoku, though it may if desired provide the occasional snappy comeback. Clause III: This treaty is eternal; it cannot be cancelled, though it can and almost assuredly will be forgotten by Tuesday. Signed, Emperor - hartfw --- Shogun - Autosave36 ------ Daimyo of Foreign Affairs: Schad Daimyo of War: Auctor Daimyo of Internal Affairs: PresidentSO Daimyo of Finance: Petro Roju: Rogal Dorn, bcortell, dockingscheduled
  6. http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=121509 Announcer: Tired of the same old you? Tired of being out of shape and out of luck with the opposite sex? Tired of being overweight and under-attractive? Artigo: Yeah! Oh, hello. I'm Artigo, Owner, Operator, and Founder of PECS Gym America Corp, and I'm here to tell you that you don't have to be stuck with what ya got. [Cut to actor lifting weights.] Artigo: Here at PECS Gym, we understand that "Ugliness" and "Fatness" are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it. Artigo: [climbing on the rocky wall; grunts] And that's where we come in. [evil laughter] Artigo: PECS Gym employs a highly-trained, quasi-cultural staff of personal alterational specialists. And with our competitively-priced on-site cosmetic surgery, we can turn that Frankenstein you see in the mirror every morning into a Franken-fine! Artigo: [wheels out a bandaged-like-a-mummy person in a wheelchair] Of course you'll still be you in a legal sense, but think of it as a thinner, more attractive, better you than you could ever become without us. How do I know? Well, I'm not only the founder of PECS Gym. I'm also a client. Artigo: That's me. Six years and 600 pounds ago... before I knew how much I hated myself. But that all changed once I founded PECS Gym. But don't just take my word for it. Listen to these PECS Gym members tell you how it is.
  7. Pink Economic Co-Prosperity Settlement (PECS) The Pink Economic Co-Prosperity Settlement is a gymnasium where all parties spot each other in their goals and chug some protein shakes. We agree to and sign this settlement to flex the pink sphere with our quads and biceps. Article I. Spotting No settlement party is obligated to provide relief of any other affiliated alliance on issues irrelevant to this settlement. Article II. Friendly Competition We’re here to make each other stronger, so no member may brawl against another signatory. Article III. Squatting Section 1. • Parties of the Settlement agree to allot their workout and supplement journals in which they may feel paramount for the muscle mass of the parties. Section 2. • Parties of the Settlement must not employ in embezzling another party’s nutrition recipes and shakes, nor endorse such performances by a third party. Article IV. Protein Shaking Parties of the Settlement shall encourage their members to acquire trades, monetary incentives, technology, and donation deals through the locker room in order to flex community and muscle growth. Article V. Facility Section 1. • Parties of the Settlement agree to maintain a facility which is available to any personal trainer. Section 2. • Parties of the Settlement are encouraged to systematize their votes in effort to flex a secure and functional facility. Section 3. • Parties of the Settlement represented by a personal trainer agree to flex paperwork made by fellow parties. Article VI. New Membership If a prospective new member applies to the gym, all current settlement parties must agree on their membership before they can be admitted. Article VII. New Facilities If a settlement party signs up for a different gym membership, they will give two weeks notice to all other members before their membership becomes invalid and the gym rules no longer apply. Settlement Parties: Doombird Doomcave CubaQuerida - Angel of Death TBRaiders - Wingman of Allarchon Tayloj - Bunny King Artigo - Powerlifting Champion of DBDC Timmehhh - Minister of Wealth Redistribution Doom Squad Lord Hershey - Alpha Renegade4box - Beta Ghost - Sentinel The Order of the Paradox Salajol, Grandmaster Bob Ilyani, Grand Chancellor King Brandon, Grand Hospitaller Swash Plates and Tail Rotors Untouchable - Security Council Nashorn - Security Council Sgt Gus - Security Council
  8. New Sith Order hereby admits defeat at the hands of The New Polar Order. /s/ New Polar Order Emperor - Dajobo Imperial Regent - EaTeMuP Imperial Liaison - Quantum Leap Minister of Peace - Vindicator Minister of Truth - WarGod0001 Minister of Plenty - Mompson Minister of Love - sounion Deputy Minister of Peace - Lestat Deputy Minister of Truth - King Ryan IV Deputy Minister of Love - Irish Republic Deputy Minister of Plenty - Bleeker For the New Sith Order: Rayvon Emperor KirstenMichelle Dark Lord Hereno Sith Lord Adolph Mussolini Sith Lord [hr] New Sith Order hereby admits defeat at the hands of The Order Of Paradox. /s/ Signed for The Order of the Paradox, Centurius, Grandmaster iamthey, Grand Chancellor Salajol, Grand Hospitaller For the New Sith Order: Rayvon Emperor KirstenMichelle Dark Lord Hereno Sith Lord Adolph Mussolini Sith Lord [hr] The New Sith Order and Farkistan agree to white peace. /s/ Signed for Farkistan: 905 - Submitter Mr. Vicarious - Squirrel One_Eighty_Two - Speaker of the TotalFark Council Cable77 - TotalFark Council Stargatesg1 - TotalFark Council Rampage3 - TotalFark Council Rollo Gigante - TotalFark Council For the New Sith Order: Rayvon Emperor KirstenMichelle Dark Lord Hereno Sith Lord Adolph Mussolini Sith Lord [hr] Kushmir admits defeat at the hands of The Order Of Paradox. /s/ Signed for The Order of the Paradox, Centurius, Grandmaster iamthey, Grand Chancellor Salajol, Grand Hospitaller Kashmir consents.
  9. In the last Global Analysis segment, we broke down the primary political philosophies of this world, but encountered some confusion from our viewers. Why are some democracies like TOP so efficient, and others stagnant and lacking in dynamic? Why are some autocratic regimes also democratic, while others are simple dictatorships? After recently speaking with both a friend in TOP, and a friend in NPO, I will provide you with the answer why, by illustrating the accountability of these governments and sharing my own experience with NSO. I will also explain why terms like "efficient democracy" and "democratic autocracy" are not always self-contradictory terms, and why Order always prevails. The Order of the Paradox: Democratic Accountability None can doubt the capability and efficiency of the Order of the Paradox. For a long time, this ability confused even myself: How can a democracy expect to succeed when by definition it does not completely remove itself from the state of nature? In reality, however, the democracy of TOP was not designed to check the power of the sovereign, but rather, to hold it accountable. A careful analysis of Paradox reveals its democratic experiment was not shaped around an irrational fear of centralized power, as so many democracies are. Indeed, within Paradoxia King Feanor has reigned for many years. Paradoxia's Order implemented a democratic institution to maintain accountability of the leadership. After all, the absolute duty of any alliance sovereign is to defend and advance the interests of the Nations. With a strict selection process and an institution designed to advance the power and glory of the Order, Paradoxia has become a beacon and example of true democracy for all democratically oriented alliances to aspire to. Instead of resisting Order, Paradoxia has embraced it, and adopted democratic accountability to ever march gloriously into the future. The New Pacific Order: Autocratic Democracy At it's peak, the New Pacific Order established the Hegemony, a monumental achievement which brought Pacifican philosophy to the global scale and established global stability that lasted years. Through Francoism, power and glory was expressed scientifically via written word. But in it's early days, Pacifica was no mere dictatorship that served the whims of the leader. Comrade Vladimir reformed the Praetorian Guard to preserve the ideological purity of the Order. [ooc]The name of the Guard was no accident: the Roman Praetorians were known to assassinate their emperors from time to time.[/ooc] The mission of the Praetorian Guard is to protect the New Pacific Order and the Pacifican way of life from those who would choose to harm the alliance, either intentionally or unintentionally. In the glory days, the Praetorian Guard served as a handpicked ideological inner party of the Order, maintaining a powerful grip over both the membership and the higher offices. Should an Emperor turn from Francoism and the Order, it was the responsibility of the Praetorian Guard to organize his overthrow. Unfortunately, the Mad Emperor Revenge, also called Moo-Cows, weakened the Praetorian Guard. When a leader of the Praetorian Guard, Al Kassad, made his stand against the Mad Emperor, he was thrown from the alliance and accused of spying for Vox Populi. Ivan Moldavi also made his stand, attempting to sieze power during the Moldavi Rebellion, but was defeated. Those who remained did so out of loyalty to the Order, but with the Mad Emperor's power left unchecked, he plunged the Order into destruction and the Hegemony finally fell. Emperor Cortath did his best to salvage the situation, but those who followed him never understood the importance of accountability and the Praetorian Guard, and to this day the Order has never fully recovered. The New Sith Order: Rule of the Strongest In 2009 Ivan Moldavi returned to establish the New Sith Order, and as Count da Silva, I was the fifth nation to join. With the failure of Pacifica, Ivan sought to establish a new Order that embodied many the ideals of the old Body Republic, with a healthy system of accountability. He established a system that allowed Sith to rise to power in meritocracy, and to allow democratic challenges that could remove a weak leader from power. Since I was the strongest ideological voice of the Sith, and with my experience in the Imperial Assault Alliance, Ivan appointed me to replicate the Praetorian Guard within the NSO. To this end, I founded the Bureau of Internal Security, a secular body with the same mission as Pacifica's Guard: to hold both the leadership and the membership accountable to the interests of the Order. This was done in the same manner: a handpicked, ideologically pure inner-party with a powerful network of Sith that acted as a secret police force. [ooc]Unfortunately, due to real life circumstances I went inactive (as did Ivan), and never returned.[/ooc] Recently, Rayvon revealed that he himself had dismantled the Security Bureau and had thrown Ivan Moldavi from the alliance years ago, resulting in a loss of accountability and absolute power held in his hands. With the Bureau gone, Rayvon proceeded on a path that has led to the NSO's situation today.
  10. My SDI: Blocked 2. I've been nuked twice Opponent 1 SDI: Blocked 2 of mine(first day of nuking) Opponent 2 SDI: Blocked 6 of mine(second day of nuking) Opponent 3 SDI: Blocked 7 of mine(second day of nuking) My military: Sums this war up for me. Now back to the trenches ya !@#$%^&*
  11. Imagine the absolute most horrifying, bizarre, terrible 2D treaty possible. Now imagine something twice as worse. That's half as bad as "The Dontrel Rising Pact, Version 2."
  12. In case you have not noticed, there is a new CN radio network, CyberNations International Broadcasting. Bloodfury and bros have put in a huge amount of work to put up the infrastructure, and several DJs have begun populating the network. After much pushing and pulling, Bloodfury got me to sign on to a bi-weekly show Thursdays at 9 PM EST (8 PM server). This week in CN will be a political talkshow dedicated to current events and interviews with headline-makers. Shows will be archived and re-played for those who couldn't tune in for the live broadcast. Our first show saw Pacifican Emperor and Bootleg Radio host Brehon as the guest for the hour. It will air again on Monday the 19th at 8 PM EST (7 PM server). Future re-runs might not be in that timeframe depending on how the DJ schedule pans out (right now that time slot is not occupied). After each replay, I'll post a link to a permanent stream. You can tune in directly from the network's forum, or via your favorite media program (WinAMP, WMP, REAL, or Quicktime) here: http://www.cnib-group.com/boards/index.php Enjoy!
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