War of Nurture

[Johnny Apocalypse]

 

Official Announcement from COBRA

 

During our most recent conflict with King Neptune's Bar, those of you who still draw breath in this world will know that one specific individual decided to pledge his sword for their cause.

 

When this conflict concluded, for the sake of a quiet life we decided to let the rogue go. It seemed unnecessary to chase down one rogue mercenary who had effectively fired all the shots he could. However, the alliance who granted this nation sanctuary piqued our curiosity.

 

The Knights of the Round Table, an alliance who claim to be neutral took him under their wing. He is listed as a 'Prisoner' among their ranks yet he still also advertises himself as a sword for hire. This left us with a few questions:

 

• What place does a mercenary have at a table of Knights who claim to be neutral?
• Why did the Knights of the Round Table allow this known rogue to be protected within their walls?
• Why did the Knights of the Round Table provide aid to The Dark Emperor whilst he was engaged in open warfare?
• Did the Knights of the Round Table make any attempt to reach out to Cobra, given it was known we considered him a rogue?

 

fig.1a: General Kanabis informs KoRT leadership of TDE's status as rogue

 

fig 1b. KoRT agree to suspend aid

 

fig 1c. Evidence of KoRT aid being sent to TDE despite agreeing to cease

 

fig 2. General Kanabis reaches out to KoRT one month later after receiving no reply

 

 

 

 

fig 3. Mordred's reply ignoring the question raised by General Kanabis

 

 

fig 4. KoRT receiving military aid from DBDC and aid from DBDC to entites engaged with COBRA

 

 

Based on the above evidence, as well as a lack of reciprocated diplomacy at the time; we at COBRA surmised that KoRT may well have been undermining their claim to neutrality by way of sponsoring our opponents at the behest of a third-party. At the time, we were otherwise occupied with the shenanigans of KNB and DBDC and as such decided to leave the matter for the time being- especially given the lack of diplomacy from KoRT.

 

That time has since passed and the question arose once more during discussions between myself and the Royal Guard. Some called for war, some called for diplomacy.

As King, I determined that the latter must be exhausted before resorting to the former.

 

  I went about reaching out to Round Table himself to see if I could establish a line of communication between COBRA and KoRT as well as ask the questions which remained unanswered. Suffice it to say, the response I received was deeply evasive. None of the questions were answered, only that Round Table granted a rogue sanctuary as he "learns more by listening" and "it is easier to watch someone at the table than from 500 miles away" - What did he mean by this? I wish I could say, as he did not elaborate.

 

One day later I received an unprompted message from Mordred:

 

fig 5. Mordred's cryptic threat and my response

 

No further communication was received. Prior to this I was content to try and let sleeping dogs lie, but when you decide to insert yourself into my inbox making a vague demand without elaborating; have an abysmal track record when it comes to conducting diplomacy; have willingly aided rogues despite claiming neutrality; received military aid from an alliance we consider hostile- who also by their own admission consider themselves at war with whoever they choose, whenever they choose? And cannot and will not answer some of the most basic questions?

 

 

If you 'learn more by listening' but shun and ignore each opportunity to do so; evidently we must speak in another tongue that you cannot ignore:

 

COBRA hereby declares war on The Knights of the Round Table for repeatedly violating neutrality during the KNB Rogue affair and failure to answer diplomatic approaches regarding this matter.

We also cite a correlation which suggests KoRT co-operation with DBDC during this dispute for the purpose of enabling rogue attacks on COBRA and our allies.

 

 

King Cobra:

• Johnny Apocalypse

 

 

Cobra Royal Guard:

• General Kanabis
• General Tiki
• General Lyanna

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Master Hakai]

corrupt alliance

[General Kanabis]

 

Tainted of late, are the waters of your rivers, your lakes, and your shores.

From gallant knights to meddlers, enablers, and provocateurs.

I've seen now your fall from honor, in the depths does it boom

I've seen you bend knee to the darkness, and thus succumbed to the doom.

 

 

It was once protocol to engage in diplomacy with the Emerald Throne, should the need arise.
Afterall, we were always on fairly good terms in the past.
But diplomacy has repeatedly failed us, and we do not consider this a coincidence.
The return of certain elements to Planet Bob, and the recently perpetuated organized roguery against our sphere of influence is no longer considered the spawn of isolation.
 

[Krihelion]

glorious

[Lyanna Mormont]

 

[SirWilliam]

Apparently brainless apes are captaining the turd-ship that is KoRT. And today that turd-ship sinks. GOODBYE.

[General Kanabis]

50 minutes ago, Johnny Apocalypse said:

One day later I received an unprompted message from Mordred:

 

fig 5. Mordred's cryptic threat and my response

 

 

 

 

"HUNTING"

[lilweirdward]

10 minutes ago, Johnny Apocalypse said:

repeatedly violating neutrality during the KNB Rogue affair and failure to answer diplomatic approaches regarding this matter

 

I'm not sure that I'd call three tech deals "violating neutrality," and I'm sure you're aware that Round Table did correspond with you and GK more than once, as well as some of their allies (including myself). The response you got may not have been conveyed exactly the way you wanted, but they did stop their tech deals until they were assured that COBRA had no outstanding issues with TDE, so I'm not sure what more you expected here. 

 

12 minutes ago, Johnny Apocalypse said:

We also cite a correlation which suggests KoRT co-operation with DBDC during this dispute for the purpose of enabling rogue attacks on COBRA and our allies

 

Do you have any actual evidence for this? One aid package including soldiers (to a nation that was not at war, thus making it not war aid) and non-submissive responses from an alliance that felt it was being threatened by you is not even remotely enough to make an allegation like this. I won't speak for RT, but I am confident that they have no intentions of assisting DBDC in any way; they've spent several years helping uncover Doom's illegal activities after all, as you're well aware. It's one thing to ask questions or have concerns, but actually using this as part of your CB without any sort of evidence, especially when there is plenty of evidence and allies suggesting the opposite, is just mind boggling to me.

 

This feels like an extremely paranoid response to a situation that didn't need anything close to this kind of escalation, and I'm disappointed that this is how you've chosen to handle it. 

[White Chocolate]

So much for having any faith in the deals made by @Johnny Apocalypse

 

Did @Lucius Optimus cry too much and finally convince you all to attack?  Congratulations Lucius.

 

Just to be clear for everyone else, TDE never left KNB until the war was entirely over and it was with permission from JA.

Edited January 2, 2021 by White Chocolate

[Lyanna Mormont]

7 minutes ago, White Chocolate said:

So much for having any faith in the deals made by @Johnny Apocalypse

 

Did @Lucius Optimus cry too much and finally convince you all to attack?  Congratulations Lucius.

 

Just to be clear for everyone else, TDE never left KNB until the war was entirely over and it was with permission from JA.

 

Oh nice. Hello WC, did you get some time off from work? Got some time to play CN? Thrilled for you

[General Kanabis]

It really only stopped because we managed to get him sanctioned on green.

Even CLAWS was more responsive to us in this regard, and that's saying something.

 

It follows that if we are not able to communicate in their preferred language, we will inevitably resort to a more native tongue.

 

Everyone can speak war, afterall.

[General Kanabis]

12 minutes ago, White Chocolate said:

So much for having any faith in the deals made by @Johnny Apocalypse

 

Did @Lucius Optimus cry too much and finally convince you all to attack?  Congratulations Lucius.

 

Just to be clear for everyone else, TDE never left KNB until the war was entirely over and it was with permission from JA.

 

This isn't about TDE

He can leave if he wants

The CB is clearly stated

 

KoRT broke their supposedly self presented neutrality several times after repeatedly being asked not to and their continuing to do so hindered our ability to defend from further rogue attacks by enabling said rogue to continue his roguery.

 

Tldr

[Lucius Optimus]

18 minutes ago, White Chocolate said:

So much for having any faith in the deals made by @Johnny Apocalypse

 

Did @Lucius Optimus cry too much and finally convince you all to attack?  Congratulations Lucius.

 

Just to be clear for everyone else, TDE never left KNB until the war was entirely over and it was with permission from JA.

The deal was with Doom not KorT? But don't blame Johnny for Kort handing a CB. 

 

I'm actually quite enjoying retirement. I see why you all are in and out of it so much.

[Johnny Apocalypse]

1 hour ago, White Chocolate said:

So much for having any faith in the deals made by @Johnny Apocalypse

 

Did @Lucius Optimus cry too much and finally convince you all to attack?  Congratulations Lucius.

 

Just to be clear for everyone else, TDE never left KNB until the war was entirely over and it was with permission from JA.

 

@lilweirdward See above quoted post which implies KoRT leadership were in all likelihood colluding wiith DBDC- why else would WC already have 'somewhere in mind' for him to be monitored. How would he be monitored if they were not in contact? Why is an alleged 'Prisoner' permittted to continue advertising himself as a merc for hire? Along with the screenshot of aid between KoRT and DBDC in the OP I think it's a fair correlation to draw. I contacted KoRT specifically to clear this up and was rebuked with vague platitudes and pictures of castles- as well as a rude message in game demanding we don't interfere with some unspecified hunt of theirs.

 

I'm sorry to hear you are disapointed with our actions, I was equally disapointed that an alliance who my predecessors have had no qualms with (and even spoke positively about) outright refused to speak plainly with me/us on the matter.

 

 

@White Chocolate See Lucius' post. No deal has been violated, TDE was given peace. Perhaps you should have been more specific regarding where his new home was to be and included them in our discussion. Besides, this is not about him specifically but rather the actions and candour of the KoRT leadership. The fact remains that KoRT aided TDE during that war, then provided him sanctuary (at your recommendation it would seem) and refused to engage with anyone from Cobra diplomatically whenever we have tried to approach them- or their responses have been suspiciously evasive at best.

Edited January 2, 2021 by Johnny Apocalypse

[lilweirdward]

9 minutes ago, Johnny Apocalypse said:

See above quoted post which implies KoRT leadership were in all likelihood colluding wiith DBDC- why else would WC already have 'somewhere in mind' for him to be monitored. How would he be monitored if they were not in contact? Why is an alleged 'Prisoner' permittted to continue advertising himself as a merc for hire? Along with the screenshot of aid between KoRT and DBDC in the OP I think it's a fair correlation to draw. I contacted KoRT specifically to clear this up and was rebuked with vague platitudes and pictures of castles- as well as a rude message in game demanding we don't interfere with some unspecified hunt of theirs.

 

I'm sorry to hear you are disapointed with our actions, I was equally disapointed that an alliance who my predecessors have had no qualms with (and even spoke positively about) outright refused to speak plainly with me/us on the matter.

 

Why are you asking me these questions post-DoW instead of trying to work it out with KoRT and their allies privately like normal alliance leaders? And please spare me the nonsense about them not responding - you admitted in your OP that RT did respond, you just conveniently half-mentioned it instead of screenshotting it like the rest. Maybe they didn't respond as quickly or as professionally as you'd like, but come on, surely you can see you've taken an awfully big leap here by just going straight into war. Like I said, it's fair of you to ask questions, but you've completely jumped from "an alliance I used to like is working with someone I don't like" to "they must be doing it to actively antagonize and undermine my alliance personally" without any justification in the middle, which is absurd. 

[Tony Maurice]

Yo something interesting boutta happen

[CrinkledStraw]

10 minutes ago, lilweirdward said:

Why are you asking me these questions post-DoW instead of trying to work it out with KoRT and their allies privately like normal alliance leaders?

 

Perhaps because KoRT didn't care to work it out like normal alliance leaders. That's kind of the point. 

[Johnny Apocalypse]

27 minutes ago, lilweirdward said:

 

Why are you asking me these questions post-DoW instead of trying to work it out with KoRT and their allies privately like normal alliance leaders? And please spare me the nonsense about them not responding - you admitted in your OP that RT did respond, you just conveniently half-mentioned it instead of screenshotting it like the rest. Maybe they didn't respond as quickly or as professionally as you'd like, but come on, surely you can see you've taken an awfully big leap here by just going straight into war. Like I said, it's fair of you to ask questions, but you've completely jumped from "an alliance I used to like is working with someone I don't like" to "they must be doing it to actively antagonize and undermine my alliance personally" without any justification in the middle, which is absurd. 

 

The bold part is precisely what I attempted and came back empty-handed from. I suppose I could have contacted you or CCC govt about it but I wanted clarification from the horse's mouth, not a third party.

 

Wars have been waged over far less than this, some alliances haven't even bothered giving justification and have done so because they simply felt like it. As I have said, I attempted to contact KoRT govt. I was met with one representative who appeared -to me at least- to be acting deliberately evasive, then another who turned up in my inbox telling me to not interfere with something (coincidentally one day after I spoke with RT, which again suggests KoRT were being intentionally opaque and that message could be interpreted as a threat- all of these things are easily resolved and cleared up when you are being remotely diplomatic). When I inquired further Mordred failed to show me the courtesy of telling me what it was we were supposedly interfering with (and y'know a "Hello I am [ruler name] of [alliance]" goes a long way before you blurt out a request/demand to someone you don't know) and went silent.

 

If I am incorrect in my judgement; it cannot be said that there was not ample opportunity to prove this to be the case.

Edited January 2, 2021 by Johnny Apocalypse

[Lucius Optimus]

20 minutes ago, lilweirdward said:

 

Why are you asking me these questions post-DoW instead of trying to work it out with KoRT and their allies privately like normal alliance leaders? And please spare me the nonsense about them not responding - you admitted in your OP that RT did respond, you just conveniently half-mentioned it instead of screenshotting it like the rest. Maybe they didn't respond as quickly or as professionally as you'd like, but come on, surely you can see you've taken an awfully big leap here by just going straight into war. Like I said, it's fair of you to ask questions, but you've completely jumped from "an alliance I used to like is working with someone I don't like" to "they must be doing it to actively antagonize and undermine my alliance personally" without any justification in the middle, which is absurd. 

 

Hi Lil, 

 

There's no big leap here, justifications laid out plain and simple. We are in 2021 and very lucky to have a CB spelled out at all. Other alliances deal in the shadows with undeclared phantom wars and daggers in the dark, this is the more chivalrous way to let out the issue. 

 

You also must understand the relationship between COBRA and KoRT at this point is very old. As of late relations have seen a general waning of trust and transparency. War was probably never inevitable, but its here. 

 

Let them work it out 

[General Kanabis]

 

Knights of the Round Table- lemme see ya war faces!

[jerdge]

Usually I totally enjoy JA's prose (although I seldom know/care of what he's posting about) but I must confess that this time... Well, I don't want to be that guy that makes it a big deal for the one instance in which he's almost completely, but not quite, non-entertained. I look forward to the next episode.

 

On the conflict itself my stance is obviusly of neutrality.

 

Judging from the raw military values the, er, "combat" in the upper part of the ladder should be a walk in the park for the Knights. They should also have the numbers to stand their ground in the other ranges. I'm not sure that this COBRA assault is military savy but, as a useless nurturer hippie myself... what would I know? 😉

[General Kanabis]

12 minutes ago, jerdge said:

Usually I totally enjoy JA's prose (although I seldom know/care of what he's posting about) but I must confess that this time... Well, I don't want to be that guy that makes it a big deal for the one instance in which he's almost completely, but not quite, non-entertained. I look forward to the next episode.

 

On the conflict itself my stance is obviusly of neutrality.

 

Judging from the raw military values the, er, "combat" in the upper part of the ladder should be a walk in the park for the Knights. They should also have the numbers to stand their ground in the other ranges. I'm not sure that this COBRA assault is military savy but, as a useless nurturer hippie myself... what would I know? 😉

 

All excellent observations!

As we make our way deeper into the Lake Camelot region of the KoRT domain, we will be sure to keep it in mind.

 

However, seeing as ours is not a war of conquest, but rather one to settle accounts, our objectives are not entirely farfetched-

 

 

[Johnny Apocalypse]

8 minutes ago, jerdge said:

Usually I totally enjoy JA's prose (although I seldom know/care of what he's posting about) but I must confess that this time... Well, I don't want to be that guy that makes it a big deal for the one instance in which he's almost completely, but not quite, non-entertained. I look forward to the next episode.

 

On the conflict itself my stance is obviusly of neutrality.

 

Judging from the raw military values the, er, "combat" in the upper part of the ladder should be a walk in the park for the Knights. They should also have the numbers to stand their ground in the other ranges. I'm not sure that this COBRA assault is military savy but, as a useless nurturer hippie myself... what would I know? 😉

 

That's quite alright, someone has to be that guy. I'll admit this isn't something drafted in my usual style of prose and lacks the kind of humour of previous broadcasts- this was intended to be more formal anyway. Typically the source material has already been created but the writing team at The Day Today HQ have had very little to work with in terms of making light of international politics. It has been awfully quiet around here of late and what good is a new year without someone letting off a few fireworks. Perhaps this monkey business will yield further monkey business, then those lazy writers can stop dossing around the office looking at R Rated material and do what they're paid for

 

 

As for how the statistics look and for our military approach? This isn't the first time we have opted to swing up at someone (or throw pebbles at those beyond the clouds at those beyond our reach) and I'm sure it won't be our last. Punching down is easy enough to do, we prefer things to be a bit more challenging in the trenches if possible- keeps the troops sharp and avoids the chance for them to become complacent. I'm sure the Knights will give us a good fight and we can shoot and blast our way towards a resolution some time in the future.

 

[lilweirdward]

1 hour ago, Lucius Optimus said:

There's no big leap here, justifications laid out plain and simple. We are in 2021 and very lucky to have a CB spelled out at all. Other alliances deal in the shadows with undeclared phantom wars and daggers in the dark, this is the more chivalrous way to let out the issue.

 

Lol I mean sure, if your bar is no-CB wars, then this is definitely at least a CB, I can give COBRA that much. Seems like the lowest possible standard to hold yourself to, though.

 

1 hour ago, Johnny Apocalypse said:

 

The bold part is precisely what I attempted and came back empty-handed from. I suppose I could have contacted you or CCC govt about it but I wanted clarification from the horse's mouth, not a third party.

 

Wars have been waged over far less than this, some alliances haven't even bothered giving justification and have done so because they simply felt like it. As I have said, I attempted to contact KoRT govt. I was met with one representative who appeared -to me at least- to be acting deliberately evasive, then another who turned up in my inbox telling me to not interfere with something (coincidentally one day after I spoke with RT, which again suggests KoRT were being intentionally opaque and that message could be interpreted as a threat- all of these things are easily resolved and cleared up when you are being remotely diplomatic). When I inquired further Mordred failed to show me the courtesy of telling me what it was we were supposedly interfering with (and y'know a "Hello I am [ruler name] of [alliance]" goes a long way before you blurt out a request/demand to someone you don't know) and went silent.

 

If I am incorrect in my judgement; it cannot be said that there was not ample opportunity to prove this to be the case.

 

 

Oh come on, RT was "evasive" and that justifies a CB against his entire alliance? Didn't you just argue that CLAWS was in the wrong for not attempting more diplomacy when Lucius literally set up a spy network against them? Sure, you at least "attempted" diplomacy, and you at least "gave a reason" for declaring war, but I figured you might hold yourself to a bit higher standard against a far less serious slight, if you can even call it that. 

 

[Stewie]

1 hour ago, General Kanabis said:

 

All excellent observations!

As we make our way deeper into the Lake Camelot region of the KoRT domain, we will be sure to keep it in mind.

 

However, seeing as ours is not a war of conquest, but rather one to settle accounts, our objectives are not entirely farfetched-

 

 

Not going to lie GK.

 

This actually made me chuckle.

 

I hope you all manage to settle this forthwith.