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Declaration of Existence


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Sunnyvale Trailer Park

IRC Channel: #STP

Forums: http://www.sunnyvale.org (we're working on it)

Color: Purple

 

I officially declare the existence of the Sunnyvale Trailer Park.

Charter

 

Sunnyvale Trailer Park is an open community of good ol' boys and girls dedicated to cold Budweiser, NASCAR, Outlaw Country, and worshiping Faith Hill. There are however a few rules:

1. Rent is due first of the month. "I'll let you look at my sister nekkid in the shower" is not a form of payment.

2. Limit of 30 flamingos on your front lawn. We run a classy park here and more than 30 looks terrible.

3. All overnight visitors must be age of consent in Ohio or Kentucky, that being 16 and look 18. I don't need the cops around here looking for runaways.

4. Township has a noise ordinance. Stay in PM and don't go shooting up stuff.

5. All cars and trucks without wheels must be up on blocks. No exceptions.

6. No double wides. It's not a gland problem, she's fat from eating Twinkies and fat chicks are trouble.

7. Confederate flags hung outside your trailer are to be no larger than 10 feet in length.

8. We allow two kinds of music around here: Country and Western. Anything else, wear headphones.

9. All trailer windows must contain glass or a screen--no newspaper or plywood.

10. In the event of a tornado, be at the shelter before the door close or tough sh*t. I ain't dying for your lazy ass.

11. Keep your septic in good working order. If we can smell your tank from across the lot, it ain't gettin' it done.

12. No drug makin' or dealin' in the park. I don't care what you do in your spare time to make some beer money, but you ain't doing it here.

 

Signed,

 

ChairmanHal - Trailer Park Supervisor (trailer)

Tronix - Assistant Trailer Park Supervisor (trailer)

B1gAlMan - Associate Assist Trailer Park Supervisor (trailer)

ChefJoe - Beer Tapper/Grill Inspector (trailer)

jeff744 - Supervisor of the Basketball Hoop (trailer)

Hank Williams, Jr. - Technical Adviser

 

Protection Announcement will be made as soon as we can get someone drunk enough to make one.

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Wait... how does this make any sense?

 

"4. Township has a noise ordinance. Stay in PM and don't go shooting up stuff."

 

Followed by...

 

"Protection Announcement will be made as soon as we can get someone drunk enough to make one."

 

Do you need to be protected if you're peacemodin' anyway? I don't follow this logic.

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Wait... how does this make any sense?

 

"4. Township has a noise ordinance. Stay in PM and don't go shooting up stuff."

 

Followed by...

 

"Protection Announcement will be made as soon as we can get someone drunk enough to make one."

 

Do you need to be protected if you're peacemodin' anyway? I don't follow this logic.

 

Now see here, boy it's real simple.

 

Nothing worse than being in a trailer and some fool comes along doing a drive by.  Last time it happened it took poor Tronix a solid week to fill all the bullet holes in his trailer and his mama's antique lamp will never be the same, though I managed to Super Glue most of it back together.

 

Once the protection announcement gets done I'll probably relook at the rules and change that one.  Or just replace it.  Too many people leaving their old washers in the creek out back of the trailer park and I'm getting awful tired of it.

Edited by ChairmanHal
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