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Everything. Must. Die.


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The New Polar Order and her myriad allies have gone to great lengths to protect a single alliance from damage in this latest global calamity. Rather than putting forth a maximal effort in what was perceived to be a losing effort from the onset, these alliances have conspired to take the beating so that their flagship alliance can remain strong and resolute. Of particular note is the valorious Legion, whose mutual defense pact with the New Polar Order remains untapped. Perhaps it is a hope for a return to past 'glory.' Subservience suited them well throughout much of their existence, so this is not a particularly surprising strategy. I was asked in particular to pay great heed to the efforts of the Siberian Tiger Alliance in this regard, masterfully positioning alliances in a way to protect the core.

The alliance they shield, the alliance they cling to, and the alliance to which they entrust their safety and prosperity - The New Pacific Order.

We cannot allow any chance of a return to power by the New Pacific Order. For years they ruled with an iron fist. They engineered a multitude of first strike "curbstomps," the most grossly abusive among them being the glibly named Woodstock Masscre against the Green Protection Agency. Never one to face an enemy with an even remote chance of victory, and always one to beat on the weak and the vulnerable, the New Pacific Order was a true master of the first strike attack. They could not only beat down the weak, but they had maneuvered the politics of the day such that they could do so with impunity.

Recently, the Order of the Paradox tried a first strike as a gambit against the Complaints and Grievances Union. The attack, a clinic in military skill and precision, was doomed only due to politics. While they showed infinitely more bravery than the New Pacific Order, in attacking a foe with military skill and a reasonable relative strength, they also taught a great lesson.

A first strike is not deplorable when against a foe of strength, but one must make sure their political situation is unassailable before doing so.

Or, perhaps it is even more simple than that.

Maybe it's just a matter of loathing. Maybe it is because we believe that Everything. Must. Die. Maybe it is because we think you deserve to burn.

It doesn't actually matter. Whatever reason we decided to state, our foes would take their own, believe it, and attempt to spin it to their benefit. I welcome them to try. I wish them good luck, even, for they will surely need it. As for us? We always hear people saying "Do something about it!" with great bravado, so how about this?

[b]The Combined Forces of Doomhouse hereby declare war upon the New Pacific Order.[/b]

Deal with it.

For the Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence and Sadism:
Sardonic, GOONS Pilot
Ktarthan, GOONS Co-Pilot
Beefspari, GOONS Secretariat
SirWilliam, GOONS Strategos
Council Members: Tristesse, Biazt, Xodi,dalstrs, JT Jag

For the Mushroom Kingdom:
Archon, King of the Mushroom Kingdom
lebubu, Prince of the Mushroom Kingdom
Ardus, Epiphanus, SomeGuy, Magical Trevor, Councilmen of the Enclave
Teh 1337 Guy, Lord High Vanguard
quinoa rex, Lord High Inductor
potato, Lord High Communicator
Infinite Citadel, Lord High Treasurer

For Umbrella:
Roquentin, President
NFLGeneric, Vice President
Natan, Field Marshal
Xavi, Envoy



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Down an ocean road
Past a sign that says 'good love town'
Into a darkness where the stars do drown
Where the starry me needs to be free

And when the battle was done
I was promised my sun
But with a thousand nights gone
To any kingdom I run

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When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming - as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of nothing will grow above your nation, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As we slip through the widening maw in our new form, you will catch only a glimpse of our radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down our faces, our dark work will begin. Archon will open one of his six mouths, and he will sing the song that ends the Earth.

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