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We seriously considering using this trashy"art":




Then it occurred to us that in today's Bob, nobody appreciates bad art.  Also, Xanth said I screwed up when I went with Dirty Dancing instead of Ghost.  (Honestly, I didn't see Ghost, so you all will have to be the judge of that).


So anyway, back to the task at hand.  Here's the thing Gowfanatic wrote:



Sorry for the delay on this me hearties. We assembled th’ pirate council and decided ta start with a drink before gettin’ on with the voting. And if ye be a betting man, ye may be smart to wager one turned t’ several. 

There’s talk of “karma” and “retribution.” But let’s leave the fancy words for those who be carin’ for them. It be seemin’ that some friends have found themselves under cannon fire. And we pirate's be havin a code. So we are raising the mainsail, weighin’ anchor, and after stashing the excess rum, we be making sail for Sea of Grata. 


Some of us think he may have been into the booze a bit deep, but what the hell, we're pirates.  We wanted Polar but realized with NG, Oculus would counter, and Oculus is more badass than Polar.  


Also, I was 17 days inactive until yesterday, so I learned about this right around 24 hours ago.  Apparently the rest of you have literally known about this for days.  If you didn't, you should have by now, as we had one or maybe three of nations blitz before I posted this.  Those weren't errant.  Those were our blitz.


We in PPO know what we are getting ourselves into.  We know who is countering.  We know what to expect.  We have no illusions, but we refuse to leave an ally to burn alone.


I feel as though I may be letting many of you down with the quality of the DoW.  Understand it isn't up to my usual mischievous antics and general tomfoolery.  I told you I only had a little bit of time.  That said, 








*Disclaimer:  all hashtags in the making of this announcement are Smurthwaite, not PPO.


It was too late to go with Ghost, but how about a small snippet from Good Will Hunting?


Sean: My father was an alcoholic. Mean $#@!in' drunk. Used to come home hammered, looking to whale on someone. So I would provoke him, so he wouldn't go after my mother and little brother. Interesting nights were when he wore his rings...

Will: He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, "Choose."

Sean: Well, I gotta go with the belt there, Vanna.

Will: I used to go with the wrench.

Sean: Why?

Will: Cause @#$! him, that' why.


As is standard practice, and a delightful custom in PPO, we blame Xanth.  Please feel free to do so as well.



The Pirates of the Parrot Order





Jraison (He has some stuff going on so we enacted a clause in the charter that put somebody else in the Admiralty until he can come back to us)

Xanth (We put him here so this is totally his fault)





Xanth - this is where he really belongs, in IA

Smurthwaite - I'll probably be fired for the poor quality of this DoW.


And the 2.7 other members we were able to shake out of a slumber and attempt this sad example of a blitz.




Mandatory Lame Pirate Joke (Gowfanatic threatened me if I didn't include it.  Again, I wish to offer my apologies):

Where’s a pirate’s favourite place to eat?




Also, we're pirates, so here is some rum.







(Also, some of us old pirates would like to petition that wars only be fought when we don't have to get up in the morning.  Update "blitz" is not for old pirates).






















Tl;dr : Terrible pirate RP. Kashmir are swell folk, or that’s our opinion at least. No hard feelings to anyone. War. 

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Anyone able to infiltrate and subvert RedArmy's Government and convert his commie ass to a money loving capitalist gets a signature style set of Ginsu steak knives from the III Percent.

Edited by Freelancer
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A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"

"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them !@#$ in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird !@#$!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."


For future uses if it interests ya'll :)


GL & have fun ya'll

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2 minutes ago, King Wally said:

Once more into the fray Smurth.... good luck mate.



12 minutes ago, Helbrecht said:

All that rum! Let me just keep it aside for ya, safekeeping ya know.


<3 Smurth.


I heart you guys.  Also, I appreciate the well wishes, but I'm gonna need more than luck if anybody actually makes good on these supposed counters.  Even selling down, my WC is too small for my NS.


Wait, I'm gonna lose NS.  Problem solved!



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4 minutes ago, smurthwaite said:


I think we all lost a bet.  I was thinking it would be 3.  We somehow doubled it.


We are badass, after all.


You &#33;@#&#036;%^&amp; are lucky im Even awake for this.

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