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From: 905@ultrafark****.org
Sent: ‎Saturday‎, ‎August‎ ‎16‎, ‎2014 ‎1‎:‎19‎ ‎PM
To: Tom@ultrafark****.org

Thanks, Tom, for your insightful input.  I'll definitely keep the Farkistan/NATO clauses that I bolded in the final treaty though and you can go on a one-way, all expenses-paid trip to the place where the fella with the pointed stick and horns conducts his daily affairs!

Regards,

-905
Head Programmer/Submitter/Cheese Aficionado

 

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From: Tom@ultrafark****.org
Sent: ‎Saturday‎, ‎August‎ ‎16‎, ‎2014 ‎1‎:‎19‎ ‎PM
To: 905@ultrafark****.org

To the Idiot 905, Master of Complete Stupidity:

You appear to be advocating a new functional, stack-based, "multi-paradigm", eager, statically-typed, impure, non-hygienic, visual, beginner-friendly and completely incomprehensible treaty programming language.  Your treaty language will not work.  Here is why it will not work.

You appear to believe that that syntax is what makes treaty programming difficult, that garbage collection is free, that nobody really needs I/O, that scaling up to large software projects will be easy, that convincing programmers to adopt a language-specific IDE will be easy, that programmers love writing lots of boilerplate, that specifying behaviors as "undefined" means that programmers won't rely on them and that "Spooky action at a distance" makes programming more fun.

Unfortunately, your language has comprehensible syntax, lacks semicolons, has macros, lacks type inference, has goto, has coroutines, has operator overloading, lacks algebraic datatypes, lacks polymorphic types, lacks monads, lacks nested comments, has call-by-reference and has call-cc.

The following philosophical objections apply:
 * Farkistan and NATO agree to share info, intel and aid with each other.
 * Farkistan and NATO agree to not shoot at each other, but in case an accidental mishap occurs, both parties agree to resolve the incident peacefully as quickly as possible via fair reps (150% of damages) and an exchange of an appropriate amount of bacon, beer and drink recipes.
 * Interpreted languages will never be as fast as C
 * Compiled languages will never be "extensible"
 * Should either Farkistan or NATO get attacked, the other is welcome and encouraged to defend should they choose to.
 * Should either Farkistan or NATO decide to start some mischief by attacking another AA, the other is also welcome to join in the fun if they so choose.
 * At no time is either Farkistan or NATO forced to chain in on this treaty, but they are certainly welcome to join the other in battle should they both choose to.
 * There are less than 100 programmers on Bob smart enough to use your treaty language.

Your implementation has the following flaws:
 * CPUs do not work that way
 * RAM does not work that way
 * VMs do not work that way
 * Should Farkistan or NATO decide to dissolve this treaty, a 72-hour notification period is required.
 * You require the compiler to be present at runtime
 * You require the language runtime to be present at compile-time
 * Your compiler errors are completely inscrutable
 * Dangerous behavior is only a warning
 * You don't seem to understand basic optimization techniques
 * You don't seem to understand basic systems programming
 * You don't seem to understand pointers
 * You don't seem to understand functions.

Additionally, your marketing has the following problems:
 * Obviously rigged benchmarks Graphics, simulation, or crypto benchmarks where your code just calls handwritten assembly through your FFI and String-processing benchmarks where you just call PCRE
 * Noone really believes that your language is faster than assembly, C nor FORTRAN
 * Rejection of basic computer science without justification.

Taking the wider ecosystem into account, I would like to note that we already have a safe statically-typed eager functional language, you have reinvented Java but worse, you have reinvented PHP but worse and you have reinvented Brainfark but non-ironically.

In conclusion, I think you have some interesting ideas, but this won't fly and this is a bad language, and you should feel bad for inventing it.

DIAF, moran

-Tom *****
Farkistan Treaty Programmer, III

---

Signed for Farkistan:

 

905 - Submitter

Mr Vicarious - Squirrel

 

Rollo Gigante - Speaker of theTotalfark Council

One_Eighty_Two - Totalfark Council

Slick Johnson - Totalfark Council

CountryMouse - Totalfark Council

Decide R Inchief - Totalfark Council

 

 

Signed for NATO:

 

Tsayka, Secretary General
Berbers, Secretary of Foreign Affairs
Jekalle, Secretary of Defense
Landon Esser, Secretary of Commerce
Lonabis, Secretary of Enlistment
Tallon, Chief Justice

Edited by 905tf
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Roll NATO Berbers Polar Bear.

 

 

 

Shhh, shhh. They're just words big guy, they can't hurt you. People still wanna roll you. Sure they do.

 

 

edit:

Apologies for the double post. Came through a second time from a post link and had a derp.

Edited by Njero
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Everyone loves NATO, they are generous lovers. Congrats to you both!

 

This treaty is one of those things you think already exist for some reason and then surprises you when it's announced. Congrats

Have to agree with you on this.  Seems like this should've existed long ago.

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I'm not gonna say about time, but damn — I feel privileged to've lived to see the day. :P

 

 

Congratulations to you both!

 

It would have been better had they had another thread that tagged both but wasn't a treaty before they posted this.

 

Anyway, good luck to my friends in FARK and their new friends in NATO.

 

Now, if you would just roll R&R...

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 * You require the compiler to be present at runtime
 * You require the language runtime to be present at compile-time

 

 

Wait, what?

 

 

 you have reinvented Java but worse, you have reinvented PHP but worse and you have reinvented Brainfark but non-ironically.

 

These are pretty serious and insulting accusations, 905tf has a pretty solid casus belli on this alone.

 

Congrats Fark and NATO!!!

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