905tf

So long and good luck to y'all on your new path! :)

I'll break it down for those concerned that Fark is starting some "vendetta campaign" for the future. I have no problem with WFF personally and generally have no problem with most of the other AA's who have been contacted and asked to suspend tech deals/aid packages being sent to those alliances that Farkistan is currently at war with. If WFF was to come and say that they'll put their deals with the alliances that are at war with Fark on hold until after the war is over, I am more than happy to resolve this reasonably. That's my concern. They (and others) are sending aid and comfort to my current enemies in this war and think they can do so freely without our caring about it. This practice must stop, and regardless of the sizes of the alliances involved, they are committing an act of war against my alliance. It is completely reasonable for me to look at it as such. Wouldn't matter if it was someone the size of NPO or a two-man AA, it's still a naughty thing to do. ;) I am not planning some sinister, Ernst Blofield post-war vendetta against those who are guilty of this act against my alliance. My concern here covers the duration of this war. After that, I could care less who they tech deal with or aid.

Since you need a historical lecture of how tech dealing works on this planet... During peacetime: Tech deal to your heart's content! Nobody cares, nobody will bother you about it. During times when war is about to erupt (or has just kicked off and you weren't aware war was coming) and it appears that you or your buyer/seller is about to become involved in this war: Make a note of how much cash/tech you have still yet to send/recieve and contact your seller/buyer informing them of war coming. Suspend the tech deal for now, and then complete or continue it after the war. Main issue is pausing the deal ASAP for the duration of the war. Nobody cares, nobody will bother you about it. During wartime: Do not continue tech dealing with those involved in the war, because shipments of cash or tech to someone at war is, and will be, considered an act of war. Documented tech deal or not, you are still aiding someone at war. You or your alliance may get contacted about the tech aid sent, you may also get a friendly PM asking you to please stop. That should clue you in that you should stop until the war's over with. It's the polite thing to do. Also, keep in mind that you are foolishly squandering tech or cash. In the modern era of the glorious EMP wonder, you are literally throwing that tech/cash away. Expect that package of tech or cash to be blown to smithereens later that evening and even then you still made someone else's job that much harder by giving aid and comfort to the enemy of the alliance your buyer/seller is at war with. You may not personally view it that way, but if you are trying to approach this from the businessman angle, you could certainly understand that there are extreme risks when you are tech dealing during wartime. Once peace returns, assuming there are no terms imposed on the alliance you are dealing with, resume your tech deals as normal. If you kept track of where you were, it should be a simple matter of contacting the buyer/seller and picking up where you left off. Once the war is over, and assuming terms of peace have been met, nobody cares and nobody will bother you for picking up where you left off. This has been the same standard operating procedure for years. Why this comes as an apparent shock to you escapes me.

In all fairness, when you aid an enemy combatant attacking my alliance, that is considered an act of war. This is not out of some desire to destroy WFF or because we "get some sick thrill out of bullying a small alliance." You aided our enemies during wartime, we asked you to knock it off, you refused. There are other AA's guilty of the same criminal act and unless they choose to stop sending aid to the alliances that Fark is at war with, they can expect similar responses. Aiding someone's enemy during wartime has been historically viewed as an act of war for ages on this planet. The excuse we were given that y'all found it acceptable because "other alliances are all doing it" in this war doesn't make it right and is frankly unacceptable behavior. We were more than willing to call off the dogs so long as you promised to stop sending aid to our enemies for the duration of the war, Apparently, you have refused. The offer still stands. Stop sending aid to those at war with Farkistan, we'll be happy to peace out and call it a day. Otherwise, let's have a fun war together and WFF can keep sending all the aid it wants to while we fight each other.

In response to their attack on our ally, Farkistan hereby declares war on the Orange Defense Network. Wish y'all good luck and hope we have some fun together. -905 Submitter of Farkistan

From: 905@ultrafark****.org Sent: ‎Saturday‎, ‎August‎ ‎16‎, ‎2014 ‎1‎:‎19‎ ‎PM To: Tom@ultrafark****.org Thanks, Tom, for your insightful input. I'll definitely keep the Farkistan/NATO clauses that I bolded in the final treaty though and you can go on a one-way, all expenses-paid trip to the place where the fella with the pointed stick and horns conducts his daily affairs! Regards, -905 Head Programmer/Submitter/Cheese Aficionado ----------------------- From: Tom@ultrafark****.org Sent: ‎Saturday‎, ‎August‎ ‎16‎, ‎2014 ‎1‎:‎19‎ ‎PM To: 905@ultrafark****.org To the Idiot 905, Master of Complete Stupidity: You appear to be advocating a new functional, stack-based, "multi-paradigm", eager, statically-typed, impure, non-hygienic, visual, beginner-friendly and completely incomprehensible treaty programming language. Your treaty language will not work. Here is why it will not work. You appear to believe that that syntax is what makes treaty programming difficult, that garbage collection is free, that nobody really needs I/O, that scaling up to large software projects will be easy, that convincing programmers to adopt a language-specific IDE will be easy, that programmers love writing lots of boilerplate, that specifying behaviors as "undefined" means that programmers won't rely on them and that "Spooky action at a distance" makes programming more fun. Unfortunately, your language has comprehensible syntax, lacks semicolons, has macros, lacks type inference, has goto, has coroutines, has operator overloading, lacks algebraic datatypes, lacks polymorphic types, lacks monads, lacks nested comments, has call-by-reference and has call-cc. The following philosophical objections apply: * Farkistan and NATO agree to share info, intel and aid with each other. * Farkistan and NATO agree to not shoot at each other, but in case an accidental mishap occurs, both parties agree to resolve the incident peacefully as quickly as possible via fair reps (150% of damages) and an exchange of an appropriate amount of bacon, beer and drink recipes. * Interpreted languages will never be as fast as C * Compiled languages will never be "extensible" * Should either Farkistan or NATO get attacked, the other is welcome and encouraged to defend should they choose to. * Should either Farkistan or NATO decide to start some mischief by attacking another AA, the other is also welcome to join in the fun if they so choose. * At no time is either Farkistan or NATO forced to chain in on this treaty, but they are certainly welcome to join the other in battle should they both choose to. * There are less than 100 programmers on Bob smart enough to use your treaty language. Your implementation has the following flaws: * CPUs do not work that way * RAM does not work that way * VMs do not work that way * Should Farkistan or NATO decide to dissolve this treaty, a 72-hour notification period is required. * You require the compiler to be present at runtime * You require the language runtime to be present at compile-time * Your compiler errors are completely inscrutable * Dangerous behavior is only a warning * You don't seem to understand basic optimization techniques * You don't seem to understand basic systems programming * You don't seem to understand pointers * You don't seem to understand functions. Additionally, your marketing has the following problems: * Obviously rigged benchmarks Graphics, simulation, or crypto benchmarks where your code just calls handwritten assembly through your FFI and String-processing benchmarks where you just call PCRE * Noone really believes that your language is faster than assembly, C nor FORTRAN * Rejection of basic computer science without justification. Taking the wider ecosystem into account, I would like to note that we already have a safe statically-typed eager functional language, you have reinvented Java but worse, you have reinvented PHP but worse and you have reinvented Brainfark but non-ironically. In conclusion, I think you have some interesting ideas, but this won't fly and this is a bad language, and you should feel bad for inventing it. DIAF, moran -Tom ***** Farkistan Treaty Programmer, III --- Signed for Farkistan: 905 - Submitter Mr Vicarious - Squirrel Rollo Gigante - Speaker of theTotalfark Council One_Eighty_Two - Totalfark Council Slick Johnson - Totalfark Council CountryMouse - Totalfark Council Decide R Inchief - Totalfark Council Signed for NATO: Tsayka, Secretary General Berbers, Secretary of Foreign Affairs Jekalle, Secretary of Defense Landon Esser, Secretary of Commerce Lonabis, Secretary of Enlistment Tallon, Chief Justice

I shall drink a shot of Tito's Homemade Vodka in his honor tonight... :( All the best to NG and his RL family and friends during this time. Tito was a hell of a guy and he is definitely missed by his CN pals. -905

I recall having the same thing happen to us several years ago and nobody really gave a damn besides RoK and FAN to be honest. Even then, they couldn't do much to stop it when the rest of the coalition demanded it of NoR. Was declaring on STA at the top of my personal list of really fun things to do to piss people off? Hell no. Probably amongst the lowest "fun thing" I could think of next to getting a root canal or a colonoscopy. Coalition warfare is never neat, nor is it ever fully clean. You do the best that you can for your friends and allies, and in this war I can say Fark's not the only one stuck in between a rock and a hard place in that department, but you do the best you can. As an ex-Farker, Old Pec, you should recognize that.

For what it is worth, this was just unfortunate business during wartime and nothing more. A move required by the Coalition. Certainly not for pleasure or out of any desire to hit STA. Good luck, STA. I wish you a good war and a speedy peace.

Alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll Aboooooooooooooooarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd! *huff* *puff* Choo choo! Chug. Chug. Chuga chug. Chuga chuga chug chug. Chuga chuga chuga chuga! Choo choo! Chugachugachugachugachugachugachuga! CHOO! CHOO! Translation: Fark declares war on STA in support of RIA.

MAMA'S OLD TIMEY ORANGE WHIP RECIPE 1 package Cream 4 ounces Orange Juice 1 ounce Rum 1 ounce Vodka Mix well over crushed ice. Enjoy. -+- FARK'S NEW ORANGE WHIP RECIPE 1 ODN 1Fark Watch ODN enter the war. Declare War on ODN with your Polar and NPL buddies. Enjoy.

Pursuant to Fark's anti-ghost policy, as of the posting of this DoW, we have a list of your members and anyone who joins during wartime may be regarded as rogues who will need to seek their own individual peace at the conclusion of this war. This policy will carry over to any other alliance that declares against us during the course of this war.

Congrats, y'all! :D

The acrid smell of smoke wafted through the lunchroom for the second time that period. Mrs. MacGillicuddy's nose twitched slightly as she sniffed the air, detecting the foul odor of gunpowder and burnt paper. Her eyes scanned the lunchroom. For the most part the kids seemed to be enjoying their lunch, well about as much as any kid eating pre-packaged reheated cafeteria food can enjoy their lunch. That'd didn't interest her one bit. As principal of Cable77 Elementary School, Mrs. Mac was scanning the faces, looking for the telltale impish grins, a true sign of the mischievious troublemaker. She glanced over at the usual suspects' table, forgetting for a moment that she successfully sent them to reform school before breaking out into a devilish grin at the memory of their final departure from campus. As she leveled her gaze upon the table in the back, she saw two known troublemakers she hadn't expected to see sitting together. After all, these two kids were once bitter enemies weren't they? "Surely they couldn't be in cahoots," Mrs. MacGillicuddy whispered to herself, "Admin help us all if those two ever decided to join forces..." Just then, she saw one kid pass another firecracker under the table to the other, who then attempted to discretely light the firecracker before... *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!* "FARK! IRON! YOU TWO GET OVER HERE!" Mrs Mac screamed as the lunchroom still reverberated with the sound of the explosion, "IT'S THE NAUGHTY CORNER FOR YOU TWO!" And unbeknownst to Mrs MacGillicuddy or the rest of the faculty, staff and students of Cable77 Elementary School, the Naughty Corner is precisely where Fark & IRON wanted to be! & The Naughty Corner Accords Seperate Corners (Sovereignty) We troublemakers plan to stick together in thick or thin, in detention after school or sitting in the Principal's office, but we promise to stay out of each others' lockers or other private business. The Dunce Cap (Nonaggression and Espionage) Fark and IRON promise to not attack each other or spy on each other. Snitches get stitches. Should something happen where one of us forgets this Troublemakers' Code, Fark and IRON promise to work together to settle things reasonably. Spanking (Mutual defense) You attack one of us...you attack both of us. That's how we troublemakers roll, we watch each other's backs on the playground. Alright, Kids, Put On Your Boxing Gloves and Go See the Coach (Optional Aggression) If one of us decides to pick on someone for their lunch money, the other can totally get in on some of that action if they want to. Don't Make Me Call Your Parents And Tell Them What You Did! (Non-Chaining) Should one of us pick a fight and get counter-attacked, or go mix it up with some other troublemakers on the playground due to other schoolyard obligations; the other is no longer required to jump in the fight, but may still do so if they choose. You Two Shake Hands and Work Together (Intelligence and Aid) Troublemakers stick together and that means keeping an eye out for the other. IRON and Fark promise to let the other know if something's going down. If someone comes and takes either one's lunch money, the other promises to help out as they can. Expelled From School (Cancellation) If one of us decides to leave the Naughty Corner for any reason, a 72-hour cancellation notice is to be given to the other. Signed the 30 Day of September, 2013 For Fark: Cable77 - Submitter 905 - Squirrel Turk_182 - Speaker of the Council CountryMouse - TotalFark Council Rampage3 - TotalFark Council Bmckenna - TotalFark Council Stargatesg1 - TotalFark Council Mr. Vicarious - Chipmunk EViL0nE - Ackbar For IRON: Queltocz, President, IRON Councilor Lorikz Kain, Secretary of State, IRON Councilor Shahenshah, Deputy Secretary of State, IRON Councilor Theophilos, Minister of Internal Affairs, IRON Councilor Crusty Juggler, Deputy Minister of Internal Affairs, IRON Councilor Blade 619, Minister of Defense, IRON Councilor Baron Aaron, Deputy Minister of Defense, IRON Councilor Imran Ehsan, Minister of the Vault, IRON Councilor Ali Bin Turban, Deputy Minister of the Vault, IRON Councilor

Well, if there's one thing we Farkers love more in this world than a cold glass of beer, it's definitely listening to you run your mouth about our alliance. Sorry, Pard'ner, think you're stuck with us to the end of the world.