mpol777 Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 [center] [img]http://www.grandbastard.reloadpress.com/fan.jpg[/img] [size=5][font="Impact"]Federation of Armed Nations[/font][/size] [/center] [i]4 heavily armed men roll a large steel box covered in warning labels out onto the pressroom floor. One pulls the microphone from the podium and passes it through a small opening near the top to whomever... or whatever... is inside.[/i] 'Sup $%&@ers! I know it's been a while since I've been here before you, but as you can see they don't let me out amongst the unwashed masses any more. Totally undeserving mind you. I mean you eat one hooker and people get all weird for no reason. Anyway, apparently there is a war on. I've been told there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth happening. Honestly I haven't bothered to read up, but I'm sure I can guess what's going on. Some alliance attacked another for whatever reason they thought would work. Some folks decided to side with the alliance that was attacked and some others with the one that did the attacking. All the while people trying to seem important shook their fists with righteous indignation towards 'the other side' for doing or not doing something or other. Sound about right? It should because that's been pretty much every war on Planet Bob. Why is FAN at war? Why not? I mean can you really think of a reason not to be in a war right now? Saving all of your pixels to take your mom out for a hot date or something? Trust me. She's easy. You'll get laid without all of that infra. We live in a world covered in graves. Global population is dwindling. Everything that can be done has been done. Nobody with any cajones and the resources to actually make the planet livable or interesting is still here. In other words, you're $%&@ed. So you might as well spend your last miserable days in this !@#$hole making someone else's life just as miserable. Or you could of course get in line and follow... umm what's his name... you know that guy that does all of the crazy !@#$ and makes Planet Bob awesome... oh yeah. I forgot. Those days are over. Now is the point some whiny !@#$%*es are going to start thinking about complaining. "But mpol you're not doing anything to make the world better.". To that I say, "$%&@ off". I spent years pissing in other people's faces and causing enough mayhem to make the drama llama's head explode. At this point I simply enjoy the dying planet. Death doesn't phase me or FAN. We've died countless times. Nothing a shot of whiskey can't cure. That whole getting turned into zombies has been extremely handy. You already know FAN will be the last standing on Planet Bob. So go out with a bang. You'll be forgotten along with the countless others that went before you, but at least for a split second you will have amounted to something. And for many of you that second is as much as you can hope for. It certainly beats just sitting there drooling on yourselves. Well. I'm sure glad we had this talk. I can just feel the love. Until next time. [i]mpol hands the microphone out of the box. As one of the guards grabs it he pulls his hand in. The guard screams and jerks his arm out minus a finger.[/i] [img]http://www.grandbastard.reloadpress.com/officialfan.gif[/img] Often replicated. Never duplicated. Gun Porn. [img]http://www.grandbastard.reloadpress.com/upload/6383-DSCN0093.jpg[/img] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
excessium Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 i cbf reading that, someone sum it up for me please Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gizmo Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 [quote name='excessium' timestamp='1323292345' post='2867678'] i cbf reading that, someone sum it up for me please [/quote] FAN's been drinking Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KemMo Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 Interesting read there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxfire99 Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 I'm not sure I understood everything that was said, but I think I support this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefjoe Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 Good stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MitchellBade Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 Cool story bro. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some FAN/Fark nations to be raiding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Locke Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 [quote name='excessium' timestamp='1323292345' post='2867678'] i cbf reading that, someone sum it up for me please [/quote] Basically, telling people to stop !@#$%*ing and start fighting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aeros Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 (edited) Not sure what I just read. So....tl;dr? Edited December 7, 2011 by Aeros Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Carnoly Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 [quote name='mpol777' timestamp='1323292174' post='2867674'] You already know FAN will be the last standing on Planet Bob.[/quote] This made me giggle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeroofTime55 Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 (edited) [i]HeroofTime55 gets out a reporter's notepad and a pen, eagerly taking notes[/i] mpol! mpol! The people want to know: Do you ever tire of hearing yourself talk? [ooc]Also, let me know when you do another run of those FAN branded AR-15's. I want in.[/ooc] Edited December 7, 2011 by HeroofTime55 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thom98 Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 Can someone translate that into English please? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trinite Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 (edited) [quote name='Thom98' timestamp='1323292737' post='2867691'] Can someone translate that into English please? [/quote] My mpol is a bit rusty, but I think it was basically. [quote name='mpol777' timestamp='1323292174' post='2867674'] "$%&@ off". Often replicated. Never duplicated. Gun Porn. [img]http://www.grandbastard.reloadpress.com/upload/6383-DSCN0093.jpg[/img] [/quote] Edited December 7, 2011 by Trinite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morte Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 Read the whole thing like Courage Wolf. Made sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MitchellBade Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 (edited) [quote name='mpol777' timestamp='1323292174' post='2867674'] Why is FAN at war? Why not? I mean can you really think of a reason not to be in a war right now? Saving all of your pixels to take your mom out for a hot date or something? Trust me. She's easy. You'll get laid without all of that infra. [/quote] Only FAN would think the rest of us were concerned about taking our mother's out to fine seafood dinners and then making some sweet lovin' to her afterwards. Frankly, I find my mother to be revolting. Now sisters and those slightly attractive cousins that you forget how exactly they're related to you, that's where the gold is at my friend. Edited December 7, 2011 by MitchellBade Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aeros Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 (edited) [quote name='Thom98' timestamp='1323292737' post='2867691'] Can someone translate that into English please? [/quote] It would be my pleasure. [quote name='mpol777' timestamp='1323292174' post='2867674'] [i]4 heavily armed men roll a large steel box covered in warning labels out onto the pressroom floor. One pulls the microphone from the podium and passes it through a small opening near the top to whomever... or whatever... is inside.[/i][/quote] Visual imagery of a mobile press box [quote name='mpol777' timestamp='1323292174' post='2867674'] 'Sup $%&@ers! I know it's been a while since I've been here before you, but as you can see they don't let me out amongst the unwashed masses any more. Totally undeserving mind you. I mean you eat one hooker and people get all weird for no reason. [/quote] My cannibalistic tendencies mean I must be kept locked away [quote name='mpol777' timestamp='1323292174' post='2867674'] Anyway, apparently there is a war on. I've been told there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth happening. Honestly I haven't bothered to read up, but I'm sure I can guess what's going on. Some alliance attacked another for whatever reason they thought would work. Some folks decided to side with the alliance that was attacked and some others with the one that did the attacking. All the while people trying to seem important shook their fists with righteous indignation towards 'the other side' for doing or not doing something or other. Sound about right? It should because that's been pretty much every war on Planet Bob. [/quote] Bob is full of hypocrites. [quote name='mpol777' timestamp='1323292174' post='2867674'] Why is FAN at war? Why not? I mean can you really think of a reason not to be in a war right now? Saving all of your pixels to take your mom out for a hot date or something? Trust me. She's easy. You'll get laid without all of that infra. [/quote] War is good [quote name='mpol777' timestamp='1323292174' post='2867674'] We live in a world covered in graves. Global population is dwindling. Everything that can be done has been done. Nobody with any cajones and the resources to actually make the planet livable or interesting is still here. In other words, you're $%&@ed. So you might as well spend your last miserable days in this !@#$hole making someone else's life just as miserable. Or you could of course get in line and follow... umm what's his name... you know that guy that does all of the crazy !@#$ and makes Planet Bob awesome... oh yeah. I forgot. Those days are over. [/quote] Back in my day, war was better. [quote name='mpol777' timestamp='1323292174' post='2867674'] Now is the point some whiny !@#$%*es are going to start thinking about complaining. "But mpol you're not doing anything to make the world better.". To that I say, "$%&@ off". I spent years pissing in other people's faces and causing enough mayhem to make the drama llama's head explode. At this point I simply enjoy the dying planet. Death doesn't phase me or FAN. We've died countless times. Nothing a shot of whiskey can't cure. That whole getting turned into zombies has been extremely handy. [/quote] Come at me bro. [quote name='mpol777' timestamp='1323292174' post='2867674'] You already know FAN will be the last standing on Planet Bob. So go out with a bang. You'll be forgotten along with the countless others that went before you, but at least for a split second you will have amounted to something. And for many of you that second is as much as you can hope for. It certainly beats just sitting there drooling on yourselves. [/quote] Seriously. Come at me. [quote name='mpol777' timestamp='1323292174' post='2867674'] Well. I'm sure glad we had this talk. I can just feel the love. Until next time. [/quote] So long Edited December 7, 2011 by Aeros Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ogaden Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 Ride on, FAN. Ride on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D34th Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 Another awesome announcement made by mpol777 as always. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keenu Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 I remember my first beer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rsoxbronco1 Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 1) -1,843,902 Strength Change - Fark 2) -1,138,398 Strength Change - Independent Republic Of Orange Nations 3) -1,110,124 Strength Change - Siberian Tiger Alliance 4) -1,105,736 Strength Change - Random Insanity Alliance 5) -986,607 Strength Change - New Polar Order It's not like people haven't been fighting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Doomee Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 Details on the FAN 15 please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nobody Expects Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 (edited) Whys so much of FAN in PM then? Surely come at me Bro is Warmode 100%. Edited December 7, 2011 by Nobody Expects Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSqueeboo Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 [quote name='Nobody Expects' timestamp='1323293629' post='2867714'] Whys so much of FAN in PM then? Surely come at me Bro is Warmode 100%. [/quote] You have an extra offensive slot. Declare on one of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Facade Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 The only thing I got out of this post was that FAN's going out with a bang and thinks warring people makes them miserable, and yet, war is the only thing that's interesting. If you really wanted to make people miserable, wouldn't you [i]not[/i] declare war on them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yevgeni Luchenkov Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 The content is a bit tame and over-used but I like the form, as always with FAN. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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