Sir Paul Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 (edited) The Tabloid Tribune One Step Ahead of the Truth Since September 2003 Issue #151 - World Edition | Pacifican Edition __________ Tabloid Tribune Under New Management Former Editor-in-Chief Sir Paul outside of the Tabloid Tribune Offices Springfield, SIR PAUL Francograd Media District, NPO: As the Order has learned from the reaction to Mary the Fantabulous' appointment to the Pacifican Regency, change for the sake of change is more important than competency, experience, or results. As such, after five years and 150 issues, the Tabloid Tribune will now be heading in a new direction. Emperor Blackbird has appointed Hawk as the Imperial Officer of Media Affairs and the Tabloid Tribune's home offices have been moved from Springfield to the Francograd Media District under Hawk's auspices. In an announcement, Hawk thanked the Emperor for his appointment and promised a bold new direction for the Tribune: "As the next edition was ready to go to print at the time of my appointment, and it would be un-Pacifican to waste the work to create it, this edition will still bear the fingerprints of the former Editor-in-Chief. However, I promise that future editions will have content and tone more appropriate for a publication of the New Pacific Order." The International Community has expressed gratitude that Sir Paul, long associated with the worst excesses of the Revenge Administration, will be put out to pasture. In his own words, Sir Paul noted that "serving in eight Pacifican administrations takes a toll on a person, and I've certainly made my share of mistakes, such as elevating Ivan Moldavi and Doitzel into the leadership cadre. It is very clear that the Order needs to go in a new direction, and that can only be achieved with new people. I wish the new IO of Media all the best; I look forward to seeing his changes." Sir Paul, as the longest continually serving member of the Order, is still Dean of the Body Republic and conscript in the Pacifican Bank. He will not be missed. ----- Written by Sir Paul, Edited and Approved by Hawk The Tabloid Tribune - One Step Ahead of the Truth Proudly Part of PNN __________ Some Karma Alliances Opt Out of Investment Plan Spartans, who use lead currency, have no use for Pacifican gold Temple of Leonidas, Sparta: Despite Pacifica's generous offer, several alliances in the group of 15 have declined to participate in the Kolectively Amalgamated Risk Management Asset (KARMA) investment vehicle program. Nations waiving their share of the administrative fees are Sparta, FOK, and MOON. When asked, a Sparta official stated that since Sparta was such a key ally of the Order during their "reign of terror" it would be "beyond bad taste" to take a piece of the 20.5 billion investment. Said King Wilhelm the Demented, "Quite frankly, we just hope people forget we were with the Order for several of their major campaigns." Other alliances, however, such as Ragnarok, felt it was perfectly acceptable to fight on the Pacifican side during the war of the coalition and then turn around and collect from Pacifica. Said Triumvirate Alfred von Tirpitz "we earned the money we got from stomping Nueva Vida, and we earned this money." Per the Transparency Act of 2004, here are the amounts to each alliance, with tech normalized into cash at the rate of 100 per 3,000,000. Ordo Verde & GUN*: 2.5 billion Viridian Entente: 3.15 billion Global Order of Darkness: 1.95 billion Vanguard: 1.95 billion Greenland Republic: 1.8 billion Athens: 1.8 billion Ragnarok: 3.15 billion RnR: 1.5 billion The International: 1 billion LOST: 850 million DICE: 850 million Total: 20.5 billion Expected Return Upon Maturity: 287 billion *Under the secret terms, OV was to receive 2.5 billion and GUN nothing. However, OV has been sending the Pacificans target lists with GUN nations. GUN will, of course, be charged the approprate amount upon maturity. To make the monthly payments, factoring for limitations on some technology transfers and loss of internal aid systems, it has been calculated that the terms are costing Pacificans 6.66 billion in lost productivity per month, proving that Londo is "the devil." To help mitigate this loss, the New Pacific Order has petitioned Karma to join the Red Dawn Economic Treaty. That was August 10, 2009. Karma has yet to rule on whether or not to allow Pacifica to join. Emperor Blackbird has been seen holding his breath, waiting for news from the group of 15. ----- Written by Sir Paul The Tabloid Tribune - One Step Ahead of the Truth Proudly Part of PNN __________ Book Review - Going Rouge: A Pacifican Life With 1.5 million copies being printed, look for this tome on November 11, 2009 Former PNN Headquarters, SIR PAUL: After the wildly successful release of Letters from Francograd, the Pacific News Network will continue its foray into the world of book publishing with a tell-all book from Pacifican Emperor Emeritus Revenge which will document his youth, rise to power, and retirement from the Pacifican Throne. Moo, who has difficultly typing with his hooves, has been working extensively with ghostwriter X'ha'dam to give a complete account of the internal workings of the Pacifican Government. Already, Xha'dam has been actively promoting the book through public interviews and has been getting much play on the talk-show circuit. As Xha'da'm notes, "something unique about the Pacifican system is that it demands diversity in thought, unity in action. Although it appears as a monolithic organization, there are voices for and against nearly every action taken by the Emperor." He continues to note that the collaboration with the Emperor has been a rewarding one and the high-profile public spat between the two was "a Bruno-style stunt to drum up publicity." After all, he is the Imperial Officer of propaganda. Going Rouge starts off with the unlikely heritage of Revenge, whose sire was a drunken ADNer and his dam a Hebrew bovine. Raised to hate all things Pacifican, Moo began his career in Equilism, launching the occasional attack against Francograd's then impregnable walls. However, on the Road to USSR, to join young prosecutor Ivan Moldavi in persecuting Pacifican sympathizers, the scales fell from his eyes as he was blinded by the light of Francoism. Details of this beautiful conversion soften hearts to majesty and wonder of the Pacific Order, taking the disparate threads of Moo's troubled, chaotic existence and weaving a tapestry of focus, purpose, and order. The Book details his exploits as part of the first war councils and their impressive victories over the Artics, the House of Orange, and the famed rivalry with that evil democracy, the brown cat. He was eventually appointed as the second Imperial Liaison (behind Dilber the Diplomat) and marked the begining of the first Pacifican Hedgemony which ended when GATO broke their non-agression pact with the New Pacific Order. After helping Emperor Moldavi to rebuild the Order into the Number One alliance, Moo worked with Emperor Dilber to extend Pacifican soft power and build-up allied alliances to create Pax Pacifica. While I don't want to give away the ending, Going Rouge: A Pacifican Life is a thoughtful look into the life of a man who was said to have "won the game." ----- Written by Sir Paul The Tabloid Tribune: One Step Ahead of the Truth Proudly Part of PNN __________ PaulsLIST ===PUBLIC NOTICE=== From the New Pacific Order Per the Instrument of Surrender of the New Pacific Order to the Group of 15, on August 10, 2009, the New Pacific Order formally requested permission to join the Red Dawn Economic Treaty, an economic bloc based on the Red Team Trading Sphere. As of this notice, two months have passed since that request without any progress reported from the Group of 15 on our application to sign. The Imperial Clerk assumes that the paperwork was lost, and as such, is formally putting this request in a legal notice that it will not be lost again. The Imperial Clerk looks forward to your response soon. ===PUBLIC NOTICE=== From R&R It has come to the attention of the R&R government that certain parties may be considering attacking the New Pacific Order. Please be aware that any action that threatens Pacifica's ability to deliver the KARMA investment vehicle will result massive financial penalties for the intervieing party. As the only alliance that has twice collected reparations in the form of technology from bank and high-tech nations, please understand we will have no qualms collecting it a third time. ----- Written by Sir Paul The Tabloid Tribune - One Step Ahead of the Truth Proudly Part of PNN __________ EDIT:The original issue stated that Ragnarok collected reparations from Polar. They declared war upon and collected reparations from Nueva Vida for the casus belli of "multiple treaties." The editor responsible for this mix up has been demoted. Edited October 13, 2009 by Sir Paul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King William Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Interesting... I must review this later as I only have time to skim right now, but looking over, I'm sure it'll be a good read. Sure will give me something to take my mind off other things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shahenshah Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Win as usual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Boris Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Other alliances, however, such as Ragnarok, felt it was perfectly acceptable to fight on the Pacifican side during the war of the coalition and then turn around and collect from Pacifica. Said Triumvirate Alfred von Tirpitz "we earned the money we got from stomping Polar, and we earned this money." Sorry bub, RoK has never fought, much less stomped Polaris. One step ahead of the truth indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Diorno Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Meh, RoK took the most damage due to the war, it's only fair they receive more reps, and Londo is only a devil in bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrinceCaspian Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Bub. Anyways, good read. As usual. o/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenann Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 o/ Sir Paul for the continued dedication. Another amazing piece of work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmightyGrub Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 What was the Pacifican side in the WoTC? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninja Colt Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Rouge = A type of make up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muffasamini Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Oh dear, its wonderful. One step ahead of the truth indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursarkar E Creed Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Cool beans Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heft Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Delightful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxfire99 Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Rouge = A type of make up. Rouge=Red It's a pun. Great read. I love NPO propoganda. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shodemofi-NPO Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 (edited) Rouge = A type of make up. A red type of make up. Humorous read, I enjoyed the articles. More news organizations should be ahead of the truth, it would make news more interesting. Edited October 12, 2009 by Shodemofi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim Jaym Il Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Great read as usual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragashingo Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 (edited) As the Order has learned from the reaction to Mary the Fantabulous' appointment to the Pacifican Regency, change for the sake of change is more important than competency, experience, or results. I think the Order learned the wrong lesson then. Many of us believe Mary to be a poor reappointment because of the kind of results she sought to achieve using her competency and experience. For myself, I would have been much happier if someone who was less inclined to lie to and mock her enemies had been chosen. ===PUBLIC NOTICE===From the New Pacific Order Per the Instrument of Surrender of the New Pacific Order to the Group of 15, on August 10, 2009, the New Pacific Order formally requested permission to join the Red Dawn Economic Treaty, an economic bloc based on the Red Team Trading Sphere. As of this notice, two months have passed since that request without any progress reported from the Group of 15 on our application to sign. The Imperial Clerk assumes that the paperwork was lost, and as such, is formally putting this request in a legal notice that it will not be lost again. The Imperial Clerk looks forward to your response soon. ===PUBLIC NOTICE=== I'd like to hear more about this issue. Anyone from my side care to comment on it? And finally: Sir Paul! What of the internal changes that were supposedly going on inside of your alliance? Surely this "significant change" just missed your publishing deadline and will be reported on in the next issue? Edited October 12, 2009 by Ragashingo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacapo Saladin Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 I was entertained. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solaris Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Very cute, Sir Paul, very cute. *polite applauds* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beauty Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Lol this was funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doitzel Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Oooh, I wonder what hawk did to get that kind of demotion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrotskysRevenge Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 I think the Order learned the wrong lesson then. Many of us believe Mary to be a poor reappointment because of the kind of results she sought to achieve using her competency and experience. For myself, I would have been much happier if someone who was less inclined to lie to and mock her enemies had been chosen. I'd like to hear more about this issue. Anyone from my side care to comment on it? And finally: Sir Paul! What of the internal changes that were supposedly going on inside of your alliance? Surely this "significant change" just missed your publishing deadline and will be reported on in the next issue? Apparently you are of the notion that Tabloid = truth; if you are waiting for actual news from the Order you will need to wait for an issue of The Pacifican Press. Serious comments should be reserved for non-Tabloid publications. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weirdgus Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Very good stuff from Sir Paul as usual! Enjoyed the read Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragashingo Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Apparently you are of the notion that Tabloid = truth; if you are waiting for actual news from the Order you will need to wait for an issue of The Pacifican Press. Serious comments should be reserved for non-Tabloid publications. Humor and Satire are also valid ways to convey a point. These articles don't need to be ignored just because they aren't a dry lists of facts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azaghul Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Humor and Satire are also valid ways to convey a point. These articles don't need to be ignored just because they aren't a dry lists of facts. Especially when there's an obvious agenda behind a lot of it. Just because criticism is veiled in humor does not mean it still isn't criticism. Not that I don't enjoy the read, but it quite obviously pushes certain political agendas. It isn't pure humor like say, Jack Diorno's HISTERY OF SYBERNETYUNS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R3nowned Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 (edited) I love reading these. They give me huge laughs LOL at Londo being the devil xD Not that I don't enjoy the read, but it quite obviously pushes certain political agendas. It isn't pure humor like say, Jack Diorno's HISTERY OF SYBERNETYUNS. lol... That also has its own political bias . Edited October 12, 2009 by R3nowned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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