Announcement from Umbrella

[flak attack]

[quote name='Banksy' timestamp='1339736665' post='2984487']
i love this line.

sparta war strategy
defcon 5: build warchests
defcon 4: stockpile nukes
defcon 3: buy navy
defcon 2: peace mode
defcon 1: TBD
[/quote]
If the last war is any indication, DEFCON 1 is to come crying to your only decent allies.

Edited June 15, 2012 by flak attack

[tamerlane]

This is so random and insane!

[Banksy]

[quote name='flak attack' timestamp='1339736841' post='2984490']
If the last war is any indication, DEFCON is to come crying to your only decent allies.
[/quote]
it must be weird to be allied to people who won't defend you.

if i had to say why mk has been so successful it would probably be something like "people have defended us when we were attacked, and we generally had more people than the other ones did"

cn politics 101 guys

[Leet Guy]

[quote name='Xiphosis' timestamp='1339735558' post='2984436']
Haha what on Earth?
[/quote]

You totally almost had a treaty with them though, don't worry dude. You still got Fungicide in the bag!

[tamerlane]

[quote name='Leet Guy' timestamp='1339737005' post='2984493']
You totally almost had a treaty with them though, don't worry dude. You still got Fungicide in the bag!
[/quote]

THIS IS NAGASAKI.

[Mandellav]

Over the past few months, it has been a pleasure to work with Umbrella. Now you have gained my respect. Give 'em hell, UMB.

[Sardonic]

I for one approve of this.

[Ogaden]

You sure showed them

[Jake Liebenow]

[quote name='Jaiar' timestamp='1339735974' post='2984464']
I have to admit this takes some balls and shows you will do anything to protect MK's front and get things to trigger more favorably for your side. This is all it is. MK says jump and boy you guys did. Good luck.
[/quote]

This man doesn't have the slightest clue

[Illustrious]

[quote name='Jaiar' timestamp='1339735974' post='2984464']
I have to admit this takes some balls and shows you will do anything to protect MK's front and get things to trigger more favorably for your side. This is all it is. MK says jump and boy you guys did. Good luck.
[/quote]

Wow you should really not assume things. Don't talk if you don't know what you are talking about.

[Ogaden]

Should have rolled TOP

[Leet Guy]

[quote name='James Dahl' timestamp='1339738004' post='2984530']
Should have rolled TOP
[/quote]

Too serious bro

[AAAAAAAAAAGGGG]

[quote name='James Dahl' timestamp='1339738004' post='2984530']
Should have rolled TOP
[/quote]

[i]Technically[/i] we have an NAP with them.

[Zero-One]

[quote name='James Dahl' timestamp='1339738004' post='2984530']
Should have rolled TOP
[/quote]

Why? I love TOP....

[Beauty]

Well good luck to both parties. Tbh, I hate seeing you two at war.

Umb/Fark two alliances I respect and like very much D:

[ChairmanHal]

Just when I thought it couldn't get more interesting, it does.

Enjoy your war.

[r00tn00b]

[quote name='cookavich' timestamp='1339735285' post='2984390']
The first war I ever fought was "UjP". I was attracted to it because it was bizarre and new. It hit me at a vulnerable time; my father and mother had just been murdered. I became obsessed with the "emptiness inside" theme of the war, and felt that this related to my life somehow. I fought in NoCB next, and absolutely loved the depressing feeling both of these wars left me with. I am a person who loves depressions; I feel that I am at my most creative and "raw" when utterly depressed. The empty feeling these wars gave me filled me with emotions I wanted to recapture.

Like an addict seeking another hit, I kept downloading more and more IRC chat programs, fighting in tons of wars. At one point, I had two shoeboxes full of CD-r's packed with different IRC logs. I had a library of just about every line uttered on coldfront. I became obsessive, but I wasn't finding that feeling that was originally there. Sure, I could recapture it with great stuff like Karma, but that was only for a moment.

Eventually, I stopped wreading the logs I was downloading, but just grabbed them for the sake of having them. I had to have more. I bought DVD's and use them. Gradually, over time, I felt my aesthetic become warped. What once was strange and bizarre looking game design became familiar; I sought it out. If I caught a glimpse of a CN style website in real life, I felt a rush; almost as if my hindbrain saw it before I was aware of it. I was visiting a data center and saw real life webpages ending in .asp. I was fascinated by them; I was drawn, attracted, but not in a sexual way; it blew my mind to see something in real life that I had before seen only in the abstract.

A familiar feeling came through me when I saw them. I felt the same at that moment as when I had first fought UjP, when I had fought noCB. My obsession took a new direction.

I bought several GGA thongs from online retailers. Cafepress was too expensive and didn't sell in the size I desired. I had to have the legitimate stuff. At first it was satisfying to just look at the thongs. I would keep them clean, iron them, and hang them up every day. The ritual was soothing to me.

Sooner or later I had to do it. I had to wear the thongs I had treasured. I am proud to report that it took me a few months to break down, to really cross the threshold into utter depravity. After that line had been crossed, though, there was no going back. Tentatively, I started by simply wearing the thongs around the house. I would wake up very early, before anyone could glimpse at me from outside on the street, and simply do my cleaning and cooking wearing the various thongs I purchased. I got a matching NPO flag. I would pretend I was getting ready for Karma.

Soon, though, wearing the uniform in private was not enough. I purchased a duster trenchcoat and began walking through town wearing my outfit. Nobody knew, and this made me comfortable. But, again, this soon became insufficient to satisfy my obsession.

I began stalking this girl I knew, Sarah. I checked out her routines; when she left for work, when she got back, what time she went to bed. At first I furtively ventured into her place with my uniform under my trench coat while she was away. I knew where her spare key was because I had helped her move earlier. Speaking of this, I'm a pretty beefy guy. I weigh around 240-260 pounds, but I'm not that tall. A great friend to have if you need to move.

Anyway, gradually, I became more comfortable in her apartment. I started doing stuff like rolling around in her bed, stealing her underwear and putting it in little plastic bags, soforth. As you would expect, I became more and more comfortable doing this, and crossed a line. She came home unexpectedly one day, early from work. Panicked, I hid under the bed in my uniform. Immediately, as she came through the door, she spotted my trench coat. Lying under her bed, the sound of my heavy breathing seemed a thousand times louder than it actually was. I could hear her rooting through the trench coat, and could hear the wrinkling of celophane as she found my empty plastic bags. Thank god they didn't yet have her used underwear in them.

I put my sweaty, meaty hands together and prayed.

I heard her walking around the apartment. Thankfully, she didn't bring anyone with her. My mind was flashing; the excitement had triggered my epilepsy. Suddenly, I was barraged with memories from my first CN war, UjP. I heard her walking around some more, and then sit down on the bed. I saw her clothes come off and hit the floor in front of me. During this time I was controlling myself and having a minor epileptic fit. I could hear the Cruise Missile sounds from all of my past wars. It was all coming together; the near hallucinations, the girl in the bed above me, and most of all, my sweaty GGA thong.

She approached the bathroom and got into the shower. She turned on the water. I was convinced that this was the one moment I had been searching for. This was my chance to cross over into the other world described in OWF; the fabric of reality was thin. I could taste it. In many of my Cybernations wars I had seen the seemingly normal alliance leaders, like me, enter into a world of magic and joy.

I rolled out from under the bed and bounded into the bathroom. She saw my large form approaching through the glass of the shower and started screaming. I was having epileptic flashes; the screaming sounded just like "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" I was having trouble walking, my steps staggered. I couldn't feel the floor. My meaty hands slammed the shower door open, but she sprayed me with a jet of water. The water triggered another fit and I seized, falling into the bath. She tripped and fell on top of me. As she was screaming and my blood filled the bath, it swirled around reality, and intermingled in my mind. Her screams, the blood, my sweat, the GGA thong, Anarchy, nukes, magic, tragedy, terror, and hope all become one to me. For one moment, I could taste it. The cybernations reality. It was here, like a precious jewel perched between my meaty, sweaty pectorals. And then, gone.

SO yeah I like war.
[/quote]

I think i speak for everyone when I say
[img]http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/154/912/berneydidnotread.gif?1318992465[/img]

[Ogaden]

[quote name='AAAAAAAAAAGGGG' timestamp='1339738156' post='2984537']
[i]Technically[/i] we have an NAP with them.
[/quote]

I'm sure you could make it happen if you really wanted to

[Neo Uruk]

[quote name='Rotavele' timestamp='1339738249' post='2984541']
Umb/Fark two alliances I respect and like very much D:
[/quote]
I'm surprised you didn't say "umbrella sold me out, kill them fark" like you tend to do

[mythicknight]

Hmm.

I'll allow it.

[Monster]

She's working on her next app.

[rsoxbronco1]

[quote name='Rotavele' timestamp='1339738249' post='2984541']
Well good luck to both parties. Tbh, I hate seeing you two at war.

Umb/Fark two alliances I respect and like very much D:
[/quote]
Nobody respects umbrella.

Let's be honest.

[protoa]

Good luck Umbrella

[hobbies0310]

Goodbye Fark

[D34th]

[quote name='Sardonic' timestamp='1339737421' post='2984500']
I for one approve of this.
[/quote]

You speak like you had choice.