The Chicken Brothers Announcement

[Kongo Jack IV]

 

Today marks a special day at Los Pollos Hermanos. We have finished up touches on our newly acquired charter, and along with that we have illegally staged our new government. You'll be happy to know our government is full of fully functioning meth heads along with some newer folk that may not have had opportunity to be in government in the past. Without further rambling, I present the new charter for Los Pollos Hermanos and it's first governent.

 

 

Official Charter of Los Pollos Hermanos

 

 

 

Preamble:
When the going gets rough, blame Deebo. We the undersigned do hereby enter into this treaty in the spirit of dongs. LPH stands for Los Pollos Hermanos.

Article I: Government

Section A: Gus

1.0)
The Gus serves as the supreme leader of LPH. Also known as the
head-honcho, the Dear Leader and the big banana, Gus oversees daily
operations and directions of LPH.
1.1) The Gus shall post announcements on the OWF, unless delegated to another person.
1.2) The Gus shall appoint the Council at the onset of each elected term.
1.3) The Gus may replace any member of the Council at any time for any reason.
1.4) The Gus has the power to remove any member of the alliance at any time with the approval of the entire Council.
1.5) The Gus shall act as the final word in judicial decisions; however, they may be overruled by the Council.
1.6) Gus is elected every 3 months. Any full member may run.
1.7) The Gus is responsible for providing the natty and girls at any LPH party. Failure to do so is so not chill.

Section B: The Council
    
2.0) The Council is made up of four Dealers and the Gus. They are appointed at the outset of each elected term by the Gus.
2.1)
Each councilor is responsible for their designated realm. They are the
supreme authority in that area, and answer only to the Gus.
2.2) The Council may appoint any number of assistants or deputies with the nod of the Gus. A thumbs-up will not suffice.
2.3) The Council is as follows:
2.3.1.
The Defense Dealer, also known as Mike Ehrmantraut , is responsible for
the day-to-day defense of LPH. They are also charged with helping the
Interior Designer (2.3.2) enforce internal security and warchest
requirements.
2.3.2. The Interior Designer is responsible for
setting up trade circles, tech deals, and aid/sledding. The ID may audit
any nation at any time. The ID is also tasked with assisting the Mike
with interior security and warchest requirements.
2.3.3. The
Foreign Affairs Ayatollah, also known as Saul Goodman , is the chief
ambassador between LPH and all other alliances. They upkeep and maintain
the embassies on our home forums and may implement any system they see
fit to organize said embassies. They are also in charge of the
diplomats.
2.3.4. The Worthless Tool is the second in command, and
serves as the Vice Gus. They assist the Gus in daily operations and may
also be called upon by any member of the Council to lend a hand when
shit gets real. They are the direct liaison between the Gus, the
members, and the Council. Also, they cannot be a douchebag.

Section C: Members

5.0) The Members of LPH are responsible for keeping this damned thing alive.
5.1) Members may serve as deputies to the Council as well as run for GA at any time.
5.2) A Member must be willing to dedicate themselves and their nation to the benefit of the alliance.
5.3) Members must keep up with war chest requirements; failure to do so may result in suspension and eventual expulsion.
5.4)
Members must sign in during military readiness drills and exercises.
Failure to do so results in suspension and eventual expulsion.
5.5) Members are legit; they drink the natty and fuck the bitches, brah.
5.6) The Members vote on the Gus every three months.

Article II: Treaties and War

7.0) Treaties are voted on by the government. Majority rules.
7.1) Wars are the same way. Mutual treaties are automatically activated, but entry location is voted.

Article III: Judicial Affairs

8.0) The government may remove a problem member at any time with majority approval.
8.1)
Government members may be impeached with the petition of at least 5
regular members and one government member, at which point an
alliance-wide vote will be initiated.

Article IV: IRC Regulations

9.0) IRC shall be governed by any member of the Council.
9.1) The following channels shall be maintained at all times by the alliance:
9.1.1. Public Channel: Open to any person
9.1.2. Private Channel: Open to LPH members and select diplomats.
9.1.3. Government Channel: Open to...er...the government
9.1.4. Allied Channel: Open to all LPH members and all members of allied alliances, as well as special guests.

Article VIII: Amendments

8.0) An amendment may be submitted at any time by any member of LPH. It must be approved by the entire government.

Article IX: Disbandment

9.0) No.

LPH Laws

Acts of War:
LPH recognizes the following as acts of war: War on an ally, war on a
member of LPH, violations of the bro-code, active declarations of war,
spying (directly, in-game or releasing of 3rd party information), theft
of the Natty, and repeated harassment of LPH members. Further
definitions may be added at any time.

Further Laws:
Additional laws may be passed at any time by the government by majority

 

 

 

 

Signed

Gus, Ernesto Che Guevara

The Worthless Tool, Minister of Silly Walks

The Foreign Affairs Ayatollah, Kongo Jack

The Defense Dealer, Parandiac

The Interior Designer, SnowWolf

 

Forums:

http://w11.zetaboards.com/Los_Pollos_Hermanos/index/

 

IRC:

#Breakfast on Coldfront

Edited May 7, 2013 by Kongo Jack

[SirWilliam]

I hate you guys.

 

<3

[Hereno]

Why define acts of war in your charter?

[YOLO SWAG]

The Gus, I love it.

[Ernesto Che Guevara]

Why define acts of war in your charter?

 

So people can't lawyer us with "bleh bleh bleh that's not a real act of war". I mean dude, if it's on paper, it's solid. 

 

 

edit: the charter is dumb, deebo is dumb, lph is dumb. 

Edited May 7, 2013 by Ernesto Che Guevara

[Lemax]

would've made more sense on cinco de mayo

[Master Holton]

Fantastic. Good luck this time around.

[Ernesto Che Guevara]

would've made more sense on cinco de mayo

 

We're notoriously bad at time. We were also supposed to DoE on 4/20 but we didn't because...er...nobody really wanted to post it. 

[Ovidsidios]

I love that you include curses in a "professional" document of utmost authority. It made me lol, best of luck to you all.

 

o/ to the lulz

Edited May 7, 2013 by Ovidsidios

[Groucho Marx]

We're notoriously bad at time. We were also supposed to DoE on 4/20 but we didn't because...er...nobody really wanted to post it. 

 

I wonder why. 

 

 

You also never passed the bud you jerk.

[D34th]

Acts of War:

LPH recognizes the following as acts of war: War on an ally, war on a

member of LPH, violations of the bro-code, active declarations of war,

spying (directly, in-game or releasing of 3rd party information)

 

Good luck trying to enforce that. 

Also, Ernesto Che Guevara as leader. Brilliant political move! 

[Crownguard]

Congratulations to our friends in LPH.

[Farnsworth]

What does the charter mean by "repeated harassment of LPH members" as an act of war? 

Edited May 7, 2013 by Farnsworth

[Chimaera]

Keep it up, guys!  We have to keep our suppliers strong!

[wes the wise]

<3 you guys. /me pets the snowwolf.

[Knighted Seagul]

very nicely done....i guess

[Master Hakai]

looks groovy y'all

[Saniiro Matsudaira]

Sounds alright to an insignificant guy like me. Good luck.

[Ernesto Che Guevara]

Good luck trying to enforce that. 

Also, Ernesto Che Guevara as leader. Brilliant political move! 

 

That's why it's an act of war, silly. And thank you, I thought it was a pretty good move myself! 

[Shellhound]

Glad to see LPH carrying the tradition of blaming Deebo.

 

o/ to all involved, especially Snow. Should drop deebo though because he's a bad person.

 

 

And does this mean making fun of Deebo is now a DoW? Because I'm totally down for that.

Edited May 7, 2013 by Shellhound

[Ernesto Che Guevara]

Glad to see LPH carrying the tradition of blaming Deebo.

 

o/ to all involved, especially Snow. Should drop deebo though because he's a bad person.

 

 

And does this mean making fun of Deebo is now a DoW? Because I'm totally down for that.

 

Not making fun of Deebo is a casus belli. 

[Pingu]

I blame Deebo for that.

I can't tell if I'm at war with you now.

I blame Deebo for that, too.

[Enamel32]

For such seasoned members of CN in the government lineup, I stand unconvinced that the charter was well thought through. Which is unfortunate, because the charter is the basis of your alliance after all. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck.

[Ernesto Che Guevara]

For such seasoned members of CN in the government lineup, I stand unconvinced that the charter was well thought through. Which is unfortunate, because the charter is the basis of your alliance after all. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck.

 

You're absolutely right, actually, in a completely non-sarcastic way. This isn't our best work by any means (I think our old Europa charter takes that honor), but it gets what we need to have on paper...on paper. For the most part, we all know what we're supposed to do and we'll teach newcomers in our ways as they come in. I don't imagine this will be our final draft by any means, expect something else within the year that fills out a little better. We're all just super apathetic lately. I legitimately have a bladder infection because I wasn't peeing enough because I didn't want to move.