Wad of Lint Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 (edited) I was sitting patiently in IRC, browsing pictures of cute kittens and epic war-machines, when I received a frantic query from a community member, who is well known of recent fame. I was informed that RIA had apparently managed to infiltrate and set up a deep-cover spy ring among many of our esteemed and prominent alliances. [quote] alright. from now on, don't post in those two threads I made private. the people you see talking on there are all Deep Black agents, although none of them are real agents if you ask me, they just work in the forums and keep !@#$ organized. They have this hazing ritual where they lie to the new recruits. For now you need to just ignore them. There is so much deception in what we do that it takes some really $%&@ed up people to keep stuff running smoothly, and you can expect that they will say anything just to $%&@ with your head. The more you ignore them and see past their ox!@#$, the more they will respect you. That's how it works in this business. So like I said don't post in the one man deal thread, or your application thread. and in any other thread you post in, do NOT mention dual membership or your interview and training process for Deep Black agent. If any of the other members mention it, just ignore it, they are trying to get you to say something in public, to test whether you can keep a secret under pressure. under any circumstances, do NOT respond to any questions about Dual Membership or RIA Deep Black Ops. Now, your first orders are to copy and paste both of the PM's I've sent you (this one and the last one), and send them back to me for my personal records. I had to delete the records of them because Kenny, the forum administrator, does not know about our operation and he keeps tabs on people's PMs and sometimes reads them. Don't worry though, you should be safe, he's only really suspicious of me. Once you've accomplished that, I want you to contact someone in game named Penkala, of Penkalaland. You might recognize the name from me mentioning him earlier; he's an embedded RIADB agent, although he's also a double agent working for at least 3 other agencies, but we can use him. I guess technically that makes him a triple agent, or ... quadruple? anyway. He's one of our informants and has notified us of a big political movement in the blue and red spheres, some shady deal going down or something, and we need a new, unknown contact to get the details from him without arousing suspicions. I know this doesn't seem like a big job, but you're just starting out and you need to earn your wings on stuff like this for now. The guys in charge need to make sure you can be trusted. Pull this off right and you can expect better gigs in the near future. When you contact Penkala in game, message him and tell him llamavore sent you. Then utter the code phrase, "The Cactuar Mamboes at Dusk." If the coast is clear and he can make the drop, he will respond with, "But Does it Mambo Alone?" This is how you will know he is the right guy and no one is hacking his account or nation sitting for him, and also that he is prepared to deal with us. If he says ANYTHING ELSE other than "But Does It Mambo Alone?" you are to TERMINATE CONTACT and ABORT THE MISSION. Set your threat level to high, go to defcon 5, AND go into peace mode. Do Not send him any more messages or open ANY message he sends you. Regardless of whether or not the mission is a success, as long as you do as you are ordered we will take care of you and the bosses will take notice. If he responds with the correct code phrase, you are to let me know immediately via PM in this forum, and AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS. Remember, do NOT talk about this mission, about RIA Deep Black Ops, or about Dual Membership, to anyone. There's something big going down and if we don't get our heads around it, our entire alliance security could be in jeopardy. Also, don't forget to copy and paste both this and the last message and send it back to me. message over. -LL [/quote] You can imagine my dis-belief. RIA? I wouldn't trust them to lead the post-office, let alone a spy ring. How could this go without being uncovered for so long? If I had been told it was Sparta or MHA I'd believe it. Surely those alliances are well-organized and cull pull off such an endeavor. But RIA? You have to be kidding me. At this point, I began to sober up and looked at the names involved. Penkala? While ineffectual and childish, he's surely not naive. For the 3 seconds I mulled the possibilities, I concluded these "upstanding" members of our community where having fun at the expense of a new and overly-zealous individual. But surely the cyberverse is full of kind and caring individuals! Why, GASP! That's why our community keeps growing! Really? Have we gotten to a point where we no longer ignore annoyances. Instead of negotiating treaties and planning for the next conflict, our definition of fun has turned into pointless instructions while we laugh behind their backs? Surely we're not all GOONS. Edited January 4, 2011 by Wad of Lint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayvon Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 For shame ... The lulz of it aren't even that apparent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aboooe Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 Whatever happened to good old fashioned TL;DR's? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wickedj Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 I see something about Penkala being a tool..thats pretty well known though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penkala Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 (edited) So this is why I got those weird PMs. To: Penkala From: Podskin Overlord A01 Date: 1/4/2011 8:13:59 AM Subject: top secret personal message, FYEO Message: A new RIA member named Ishabad of Khalistian may pm you in the near future with the code phrase "The Cactuar Mamboes at Dusk." You are to respond with "But Does It Mambo Alone?" That is all. To: Penkala From: ishabad Date: 1/4/2011 2:13:16 PM Subject: The Great and The bold Cactus Message: llamavore send me The Cactuar Mamboes at Dusk [quote]I see something about Penkala being a tool..thats pretty well known though [/quote] You know you and I... we used to get along. But now you're so blinded by rage. Perhaps it's jealousy. I'm not sure what it is. It sure is a sad sight though. [quote]Penkala? While ineffectual and childish, he's surely not naive.[/quote] I love you too, bud. *starts a forest fire* Edited January 4, 2011 by Penkala Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fyfe XIV Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='Penkala' timestamp='1294178599' post='2563459'] So this is why I got those weird PMs. To: Penkala From: Podskin Overlord A01 Date: 1/4/2011 8:13:59 AM Subject: top secret personal message, FYEO Message: A new RIA member named Ishabad of Khalistian may pm you in the near future with the code phrase "The Cactuar Mamboes at Dusk." You are to respond with "But Does It Mambo Alone?" That is all. To: Penkala From: ishabad Date: 1/4/2011 2:13:16 PM Subject: The Great and The bold Cactus Message: llamavore send me The Cactuar Mamboes at Dusk [/quote] The Cactuar Mamboes at Dusk. Llamavore? Can only be one person... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supercoolyellow Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='Penkala' timestamp='1294178599' post='2563459'] So this is why I got those weird PMs. To: Penkala From: Podskin Overlord A01 Date: 1/4/2011 8:13:59 AM Subject: top secret personal message, FYEO Message: A new RIA member named Ishabad of Khalistian may pm you in the near future with the code phrase "The Cactuar Mamboes at Dusk." You are to respond with "But Does It Mambo Alone?" That is all. To: Penkala From: ishabad Date: 1/4/2011 2:13:16 PM Subject: The Great and The bold Cactus Message: llamavore send me The Cactuar Mamboes at Dusk You know you and I... we used to get along. But now you're so blinded by rage. Perhaps it's jealousy. I'm not sure what it is. It sure is a sad sight though. [/quote] Ha, that's awesome. That its Ishabad, makes this classic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rsoxbronco1 Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='Fyfe XIV' timestamp='1294178725' post='2563462'] Llamavore? Can only be one person... [/quote] It seems our #1 spot is well earned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xoindotnler Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='Penkala' timestamp='1294178599' post='2563459'] So this is why I got those weird PMs. To: Penkala From: Podskin Overlord A01 Date: 1/4/2011 8:13:59 AM Subject: top secret personal message, FYEO Message:[b] A new RIA member named Ishabad of Khalistian[/b] may pm you in the near future with the code phrase "The Cactuar Mamboes at Dusk." You are to respond with "But Does It Mambo Alone?" That is all. To: Penkala From: [b]ishabad [/b] Date: 1/4/2011 2:13:16 PM Subject: The Great and The bold Cactus Message: llamavore send me The Cactuar Mamboes at Dusk You know you and I... we used to get along. But now you're so blinded by rage. Perhaps it's jealousy. I'm not sure what it is. It sure is a sad sight though. [/quote] Oh dear god, oh god oh god. Excuse me while I'm grabbing a towel to clean my screen. Probably need some new lungs to when I'm done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Nukem Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 Where is gangs when we need him. Ogaden you should probably come fix this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penkala Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='We Are Not Alone' timestamp='1294179183' post='2563470'] Where is gangs when we need him. Ogaden you should probably come fix this. [/quote] What needs to be fixed, exactly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Ashton Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='supercoolyellow' timestamp='1294178928' post='2563463'] Ha, that's awesome. That its Ishabad, makes this classic. [/quote] This. ishabad please quit. kthxbai. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirDelirium Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 Why do I bother reading this kind of stuff? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supercoolyellow Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='Mark Ashton' timestamp='1294179860' post='2563477'] This. ishabad please quit. [/quote] I'd prefer he didn't Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sardonic Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='Wad of Lint' timestamp='1294178118' post='2563447'] Really? Have we gotten to a point where we no longer ignore annoyances. Instead of negotiating treaties and planning for the next conflict, our definition of fun has turned into pointless instructions while we laugh behind their backs? Surely we're not all GOONs. [/quote] I take offense to that, sir. It's spelled "GOONS". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The MVP Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 You get those pm's from ishabad too? [quote name='ishabad' timestamp='1290909871'] Please consider joining Polaris you are perferct material and if you have an alliance so sorry but in your forum profile it says none and you are right but another great war is coming and its going to be the Orders against Pandoras Box and I will bet my computer and nation on it[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wad of Lint Posted January 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='Sardonic' timestamp='1294181074' post='2563504'] I take offense to that, sir. It's spelled "GOONS". [/quote] My profuse apologies. I will fix the error. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lavo Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 Wait, ishabad is one of the agents? Really? I mean, really? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teddyyo Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 !@#$'s funny xD That's like this game yesterday, a nation ruler who is a friend were playing some others. We were in a secret pact, when one of the other nation rulers whispered to me, "That guy told me to 2v1 you with him!" I whispered to my friend, "He tell you the same !@#$?" "Yep. Wanna roll him?" I replied, "Sure." We rolled him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xiphosis Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote]But RIA? You have to be kidding me.[/quote] That's precisely why RIA was chosen to do it. /oshi- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Z Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 Delta uses his psychic cupcake powers to constantly keep in contact with the multitudes of deep cover operatives planted in many alliances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wad of Lint Posted January 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='Xiphosis' timestamp='1294182254' post='2563530'] That's precisely why RIA was chosen to do it. /oshi- [/quote] You either ignored the sarcasm and stopped reading from there, or cannot read. Knowing you, I suspect the former. However, you've surprised me before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Ilyani Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 Ishabad? That same moron who kept telling us to join NSO in the Nemesis disbandment thread? Thanks for making me wake up my girlfriend. I had no idea I'd be laughing so much tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delta1212 Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='Wad of Lint' timestamp='1294182534' post='2563537'] You either ignored the sarcasm and stopped reading from there, or cannot read. Knowing you, I suspect the former. However, you've surprised me before. [/quote] He couldn't possibly have been making a joke. That wouldn't make [I]any[/I] sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xoindotnler Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 [quote name='Bob Ilyani' timestamp='1294182652' post='2563540'] Ishabad? That same moron who kept telling us to join NSO in the Nemesis disbandment thread? Thanks for making me wake up my girlfriend. I had no idea I'd be laughing so much tonight. [/quote] I wonder why he was kicked out the NSO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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