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Farkistan March Erection Results

Ayreonaut
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Ayreonaut Newbie

Ayreonaut

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[center][img]http://i303.photobucket.com/albums/nn159/magu2k/MarchErectionsinFarkistan.png[/img]

[font=courier]February may be shorter but our erections are just as rigid![/font][/center]

[font=courier]War. Chaos and bloodshed. Nuclear devastation. Ultima ratio regum. Or as we like to think of it in Fark, a heck of a good time! The Short Bus is still rolling around Planet Bob without showing any signs of stopping (despite what some would describe as a horrifying low level of infrastructure). For this reason, we thought it would be fitting to give you a report straight from the front lines. [/font]

[font=courier]We are proud to present the tip of Farkistan's spear, the erected few in whom we put our trust knowing that they will not rest until the enemy has been reduced to rubble. We are talking, of course, about our brave people in the sky. [/font]

[img]http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4006/4376752054_64ee72cea9_o.jpg[/img]

[font=courier]While considered obsolete in some quarters, the bombing squadrons of Farkistan still believe in the superiority of any plane that survived through the Holy War. These fortresses in the sky are typically manned by a crew of five. [/font]

[img]http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4005/4376004431_125f766812_o.jpg[/img]

From left to right we have:

[font=courier]The Captain, Raving_MainyYak: Ultimately responsible for the plane, crew and the mission. Although, the captain shown here is usually more preoccupied with reading contraband adult magazines he keeps stashed under his seat. Who needs those pesky flotation devices anyway? An empty beer bottle works just as well.

The Navigator, fluoroalien: What good are all those bombs if you don't know where to drop them? The navigator keeps our boys and gals oriented. More or less. Depending on the level of inebriation. Most navigators will admit that "When in doubt, head for IRON" is always a good idea.

The Radio Operator, fireguy15207: An essential member of any crew. The radio operator communicates with HQ and other planes. His role is often underestimated. Considered by the rest of the crew as a geeky oddball. When asked about his/her odd behaviour don't be surprised to get an answer involving abbreviations you've never heard of before. And references to porn movies you've wished you'd never heard of.

The Bombardier, BozdaBoz: The only really important member of the crew, at least if you let him tell it himself. Capable of hitting a pixel right between the eyes from staggering heights. The only requirement for this kind of accuracy is a keg of beer, making the bombardier one of the least inebriated people on board!

The Tailgunner, ManwithPlanX. Loud, undisciplined and belligerent. His job is to keep any and all enemy fighters away from the bomber with the help of his trusty twin machine guns. Sits in an exposed cupola at the back of the plane. Life expectancy on an ordinary mission is roughly 30 seconds after making contact with the enemy. Which is probably the reason that they tend to get drunk and stay that way.

As someone once said "War is heck" and the Short Bus war is no exception. Our brave fighting men and women have had to endure a shortage of the three "B"s which is probably the most difficult part of the war. That and the horrible mutations and animated dead. To combat the shortage, and keep morale high, some crews have taken to painting pictures of their beloved on the nose of their plane.

[img]http://www.farkistan.org/ENI%27s-wife-rough.jpg[/img]

Some others prefer their first love.

[img]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2705/4395117600_73351eaeaa_o.jpg[/img]

Then there are the wierdos who prefer something less ordinary.

[img]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2734/4395809243_654bf01d44_o.jpg[/img]


And so the siren sounds and our brave fighters are off to do battle once again. As usual, we are most likely doomed.

March TotalFark Council:

Raving_MainyYak (Speaker of the Council)
fluoroalien
fireguy15207
BozdaBoz
ManwithPlanX

[/font]

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First Post Newbie

First Post

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These people are all FAN spais!
They've already sicked the People's Front and the Popular Front on one another to hide the truth.
I'm next - they will try to silence me - was that the front door - oh god they're her+++CARRIER LOST+++

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fireguy15207 Newbie

fireguy15207

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[quote name='Duncan King' date='02 March 2010 - 10:32 PM' timestamp='1267587359' post='2212198']
Congrats on the elections Fark. Feel free to celebrate by giving me back my land. :awesome:
[/quote]
Don't be silly, we have big plans for that land post-war: the world's largest brewery. It will easily become one of the Nine Wonders of Modern-day Bob. :P

Congratulations to the others elected. I look forward to working with you all, some for the first time, others for the fiftieth :)

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PhysicsJunky Newbie

PhysicsJunky

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[quote name='Corinan' date='02 March 2010 - 11:04 PM' timestamp='1267589299' post='2212234']
Oh I get it, "erections" instead of "elections." HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OH MAN THAT IS SOOOOOO FUNNY! YOU GUYS ARE CLEVER!!
[/quote]
Seeing as Fark has been doing this almost monthly for well over two years now you're going to need a little more umph to your sarcasm or it just looks rehashed. Maybe something in haiku?

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