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Persephone3

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  1. [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/3412_05_08_10_1_36_29.png[/img] Farkistan has completed another round of council elections and we are pleased to present the new Submitter, Council, and reelected Squirrel: [b]Submitter[/b] - RavingMainyYak [b]Squirrel[/b] - Mr Vicarious[b] Council[/b]: Shinfat - SotC Randomly Jim Kahiel manwithplanX one_eighty_two Please join me in congratulating them!
  2. I feel as though we are forever laboring over this subject.
  3. Shammy is gonna be pissed, I lost you on like Day 3 of his absence.
  4. Congrats, lovies. Couldn't have happened to a nicer alliance.
  5. RavingMainyYak, seanvdb, Areilah, Stickman, Rheal Luhb
  6. [center][size=12pt][b]Farkistan has a new council![/b][/size] [img]http://img124.imageshack.us/img124/9778/slobmx1.jpg[/img] [size=8pt][i]Still recovering from his tryptophan daze inspired by his bacon-wrapped turkeys, our Walken Shinfat was unable to find any givashiats on-hand and decided to pass the responsibility on to P3, his cowbell, to draw names from a hat, thoughtfully provided by TF905.[/i][/size] P3 was damned and determined not to draw names this time. She had far too many other things to do. So, being drunk and confused, P3 did what any Farker would do: she tried to pawn it off on her pets. That way she wouldn't have to take the blame, but could still take the credit. [[IMG]http://i256.photobucket.com/albums/hh192/P3rs3phon3/one-lazy-kitty.jpg[/IMG][img]http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/funny-pictures-cat-wants-to-cook-rabbit.jpg[/img] [size=8pt][i]Unfortunately, Miss Jules was in her own tryptophan daze, and was out of commission. Mr. Jim was feeling alright, but Hoppy Juan, her bunny rabbit, wasn't, and Jim was trying to take care of him.[/i][/size] Tired and pissed off, she went into the backyard and chased down Mr. Wobbles, the only Turkey that WASN'T eaten on Thanksgiving. She threw the ugly hat at him. After finally catching up to him, she realized that some of the pieces of paper with names on them had stuck to his feathers. She pulled them off (feather and all) and wrote them down. She then brought him into the house, and turned on the boilin' pot... [img]http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/2814/boilpot.jpg[/img] [size=8pt][i]So THAT'S where Mrs. Wobbles went...[/i][/size] But not before asking Mr. Wobbles to film a final message to all of our friends out there: [/center] [size=6pt][i]tl;dr 905 (SotC) Kahiel Crocodilly Pontifex Fluoroalien UltimateDogg[/i][/size]
  7. :drool: Thanks for the review, my loves. shilo heikk-i Frannie Booter and hai Golan1st
  8. [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_31_10_10_12_40_50.jpeg[/img] Just sit right back in your slotted chair For tales of a drunken trip, That started from this tropic port, After I took a... ship. The Squirrel was a salty sailin' man, The Subby old and sure, Five councilors set sail that day, For happy hour tour, Happy hour tour. The weather started getting rough, And soon their lunch was tossed. If not for the case of ice cold brew, Farkistan would be lost. Farkistan would be lost. The ship aground on the shore of this booby-less desert isle With Random Jim, And the Yakster too. Kahiel and 905, Chewy Milk, Ironone and Crocodilly, Here on Farkistan's Isle. So this is the tale of our castaways, There here for a long long time. They'll have to make the best of things, It's an uphill climb. The Squirrel and the Subby too Will do their very best, To make others uncomf'terble In their tropic island nest. No boobs, no booze, no bacon yet, Not a single luxury Like your mom's mating habits It's primitive as can be. So join us here next month my friends, You're sure to get a smile, From seven screwed up governors Here on Farkistan's Isle! [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_30_10_10_12_41_28.jpeg[/img] Greetings, OWF. How are you today? Good? I don't really care. We just have a quick announcement before we can leave this cesspool and go back to the hermitage. We've tuned in every day- Same time, same station, and it's always the same thing: Who's loudest, who's irritating, who's got the !@#$%* trigger finger. It seems all we can do is watch from a distance, marooned on an island of sanity wihout a single luxury. Today, we announce a change. [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_28_10_10_11_02_15.jpeg[/img] As Planet Bob's population dwindles and everything begins circling the drain it so richly deserves, Farkistan is changing with the times. By unanimous vote, Farkistan will become a theme alliance, based wholly on the works of our Supreme Admiral Sherwood Schwartz. Specifically his epic series, "Gilligan's Island." This magnum opus serves as an allegory for us, the castaways of Fark.com, as we try to survive in CN, the forgotten island of the interwebs. This month's Three-Hour tour will be presided over by the following crew: [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_31_10_10_11_16_13.jpeg[/img] [b]The Skipper: Raving Mainy_Yak[/b]. Old and busted: Submitter. New hotness: Skipper. Hat not required but recommended. [b]First Mate (Gilligan): Randomly Jim[/b]. Bumbling idiot who causes more problems than he fixes. aka Squirrel. [b]The Millionnaire: Kahiel[/b]. Required to have a huge warchest and haughty attitude. Speaker of the Council. [b]The Millionnaire's Wife: 905[/b]. Assistant to the Millionaire. Lack of common sense and surplus of cash. [b]The Movie Star: Chewy Milk[/b]. Required to post !@#$ or GTFO, even though he's male. [b]The Professor: Ironone[/b]. Demonstrated ability to build radios out of coconuts, but incapable of fixing a hole in a boat. [b]Mary Ann: Crocodilly_Ponitfex[/b]. Expendable placeholder with no real power or purpose
  9. [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_01_10_10_12_45_38.jpeg[/img][img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_01_10_10_12_46_52.jpeg[/img][img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_01_10_10_12_47_47.jpeg[/img][img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_01_10_10_12_48_05.jpeg[/img][img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_01_10_10_12_48_23.jpeg[/img][img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_01_10_10_12_49_28.jpeg[/img][img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_01_10_10_12_49_43.jpeg[/img][img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_01_10_10_12_50_04.jpeg[/img][img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_01_10_10_12_51_04.jpeg[/img][img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_01_10_10_12_51_21.jpeg[/img][img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_01_10_10_12_51_48.jpeg[/img][img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_01_10_10_12_52_28.jpeg[/img] tl;dr the new TotalFark Council is Randomly Jim (Speaker of the Council) Kahiel Ironone 905 Mr. Cynical
  10. Good luck, Mayzie You're welcome to eat my soul anytime.
  11. [size=10pt][b]Principal Docmeister:[/b] Good Morning, Mustard Man High! This is your Principal, Mr. Docmeister. Before I hand the mic to your Student Council President, I want to remind you all that our Custodian, ENI, works very hard to keep this school and its facilities clean. If you are unable to use the restroom properly, you will have your restroom privileges restricted... It is VERY immature and frankly DISGUSTING to do your business on the floor or any other place besides the toilet. I am appalled that you little- *ahem* Anyhow, Here's Randomly Jim. [/size] [center][img]http://img697.imageshack.us/img697/5954/oldyearbooksmaller.jpg[/img] [i][size=8pt]The yearbook staff wasn't too good at alphabetical order, apparently.[/size][/i][/center] [size=10pt][b]Randomly Jim:[/b] Gooooood Morning, Mustard Manners! And thank you, Principal Docmeister for that "moving" announcement. As many of you know, we've been asking for volunteers for the annual Cable Day festivities. Unfortunately, due to budget cuts and Mothers Against Drunk Typing, we've had to cancel the keg stand competition and the Nuke-Nuke's-Mom contest. The bacon slide and drunk, err, DUNK tank will still be set up in the gym. Anyway, on to the announcements you've all been waiting for: The Prom Planning Committee has been hard at work counting votes and interviewing students. The theme... for this year's prom... will be... ZombiePocalypse! ZombiePocalypse narrowly beat out "Under the Sea," and the lesbian-eskimo theme, "Klondike." Hope you're ready for a prom so awesome, even death can't stop it! [/size] [center][img]http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/9083/foodanddrinks.jpg[/img] [i][size=8pt]The Freshman Class will be [s]served as[/s] serving the food and drinks.[/size][/i][/center] [size=10pt]Because of the uh, "incident" a couple proms ago, we're going to announce the Prom Court today.[/size] [center][img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/1674_01_06_10_7_40_36.jpeg[/img] [i][size=8pt]What happened next was enough to make your blood boil.[/size][/i][/center] [size=10pt]No surprise here! Yours Truly, THE Student Body President, has succeeded once again in proving that looks don't matter. I am honored to be the Mustard Man High Prom King! By my side as Prom Queen will be the curvy, gorgeous, sultry... RavingMainyYak! Your Student Body Speaker of the Council will be my Queen! Let's see... yes! The very squirrelly Tumultuous Papaya will be sharing the Royalty Table with us as a beautiful beautiful Princess![/size] [center][img]http://img412.imageshack.us/img412/4572/planningcommittee.jpg[/img] [i][size=8pt]From left to right: Back Row: bmckenna, Kahiel, recockulous, Randomly Jim, Raving MainyYak. Front Row: Fireguy, Tumultuous Papaya.[/size][/i][/center] [size=10pt]I know none of you are surprised by these results. Prom Royalty has always been a popularity contest, and the three of us are proof of that. In fact, most of you probably knew as early as the beginning of May that we would be the Prom Royalty. What really matters is the people behind the scenes. This year, the Prom Royalty wants to extend gratitude to the Prom Planning Committee for all of the great work they have done in bringing this extravagant dance together. The Planning Committee will be invited, for the first time ever, to sit at the Royalty Table and pretend they are just as popular and amazing as us! So give a round of applause for our Court Jesters: [b]Raving Mainy_Yak[/b] (Speaker of the Council) [b]bmckenna[/b] [b]Kahiel recockulous[/b] and [b]Fireguy[/b] Thanks for listening and have a great day![/size] [size="1"]God I hate this school so much. Why do I have to share the table with that bunch of c... Oh crap, is it still on? Hit the button you dumb f-[/size]
  12. Yeehaw! Thank you, erections, for staving off Rosie O'Donnell.
  13. mmm sweet carmel hops [IMG]http://i256.photobucket.com/albums/hh192/P3rs3phon3/smiley-drool2.gif[/IMG]
  14. I KNEW IT!!! I've been saying all along we could never trust you donkey chapeaud miscreants! This is the worst "I told you so" evar.
  15. /me slaps TPF in the face with a glove.
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