Ayreonaut

I don't mind seeing the changes introduced - they look like they could be potentially quite useful. However, I voted no for now based on the alliance data being reset. Forcibly changing something that affects a player's status in the game when it may have the secondary effect of driving them into deletion (be it via loss of stats or lack of protection from unscrupulous raiders) will only hasten the game's demise. While I agree that it would have an interesting effect on an AA level, deliberately alienating a diminishing userbase is foolish. If it means the game being taken offline for maintenance while Admin ports the data to the new table format with alliances nominating a leader, I wouldn't mind waiting. I also appreciate that it involves rather more work.

[quote name='Gloin' timestamp='1340861288' post='2999147'] Also can someone please wake this guy up http://www.cybernations.net/nation_drill_display.asp?Nation_ID=271889 I feel like this war would be more fun if people in Fark fought back. [/quote] I'm not sure how active procrastinator is. Otherwise, consider your wish granted. Have fun!

Happy Birthday Fark, and Happy New Year everyone! /doomed //in before Yak

Happy nuclear winter and glad tidings and much alcoholicly induced fun to all of you folks around Bob. We couldn't enjoy this war so much without you. I hope you all have a great time celebrating whatever you each might celebrate, and continue to warm yourselves with the requisite seasonally appropriate glowing pixels. [img]http://www.farkistan.org/Smileys/farkistan/fark.png[/img]

The poll system on Fark's forums doesn't work like that. And as amusing as that forged message is, there's so much wrong with it I don't know where to start. /former Walken //the bacon hoarding is true though

I'd just like to thank whomever increased Chewy's medication enough for him to offer us what is likely to be a highly entertaining month ahead. Oh, and congratulations all round. Especially for Tums, who has escaped for a few months. [img]http://pricepages.org/temp/disp_doomed.jpg[/img]

I for one welcome the return of Farkistan's Evil Bovine Overlord.

[i]Once per decade, the Guild of Farkistani Inventors, Designers, & Industrialists of the State meets to induct new members. These elite few are chosen for creating inventions deemed "Most likely to Change Farkistan Society for the Better." Without further ado, let's take a look at this years' inventions! [/i] [i] [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_29_07_10_9_41_43.jpeg[/img] [b]Kahiel[/b], inventor of the 'Gride' has been commended for sacrificing his (her?) first born child in a demonstration of the product. Grides have been placed with national defense in mind at playgrounds near problem-area border crossings. A trail of Reese's Pieces candy leads to the top of the device. So far, the results have ranged from "Horrendously effective. Oh god what has science done?!" to "strangely hypnotic." [/i] [i] [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_29_07_10_9_42_49.jpeg[/img] If you're like me, you can't stand it when you run out of paper to eat. We've all been there before: having to push some little kid down in the street to steal their notebook, the crowd jeering as you rip the book apart and jam piece after piece into your mouth, the police spraying mace in your eyes... Well, thanks to [b]ManwithPlanX[/b]'s invention, you'll never have to suffer through the humiliation again. This is the Emergency Paper Halo! [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_29_07_10_9_34_49.jpeg[/img] [b]bmckenna[/b] gained recognition by making it possible to nuke your enemies without having to leave the bar or the toilet and drive all the way to the silo. He unveiled the USB Nuke Button and demonstrated the device by plugging into a laptop and nuking himself; all from the comfort of his favorite pub! He will be sorely missed. [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_29_07_10_9_36_34.jpeg[/img] Our next invention existed only in theory until a radical breakthrough by [b]Ironone[/b]. Now your favorite drinks can be enjoyed via eyedrops! No food or drinks beyond this point? No problem! Dry, red eyes? Blow it out your *&@ Ben Stein! Double-vodka martini trumps Clear Eyes®. [/i] [i][img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_29_07_10_9_37_55.jpeg[/img] Nuclear recovery efforts have been revolutionized thanks to successful testing of mass-produced Disposable Infrastructure. [b]Binuru[/b] was inducted after patenting the manufacturing process, which involves combining asbestos, broken glass, dead kittens, and a spectrum of wildly toxic chemicals to make this quick, affordable, deadly, deadly housing. [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_29_07_10_9_38_35.jpeg[/img] This year's bacon-related invention award goes to [b]Tums[/b], for the mad-scientist team creation of Bacon Toothpaste. It doesn't prevent cavities, but it has a smokey maple flavor that will leave you feeling great and greasy! 5 out of 5 dentists agree: "I'll say whatever you want! Please don't hit me again!" [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_29_07_10_9_39_31.jpeg[/img] [b]Raving Mainy_Yak[/b] has been researching hangover cures for 25 years. The culmination of those years is the new UFIA brand Anti-Hangover suppository. Once in place, the product releases a steady stream of habañero pepper oil, tylenol, french fry grease, and a hint of citric acid to leave your butt feeling lemony-fresh! Farkistani life continues to improve, thanks to innovators like these. I hope this ceremony will inspire the next generation to step up and try something stupid and dangerous; you might just find yourself inducted into the GFID&IS. Let's all give another round of applause for our honored inventors! [/i] tl;dr [b]Council:[/b] Kahiel, SotC ManwithPlanX bmckenna Ironone Binuru [b]Squirrel (MoFA):[/b] Tums [b]Submitter (President):[/b] Raving Mainy_Yak

[b]I Passed Out at the Fark Party![/b] New Council: Yak (SotC) bmckenna Kahiel fluoroalien ManwithPlanX

I for one welcome our new Zombie Overlords.

[center][IMG]http://i348.photobucket.com/albums/q341/MainyYak/rosie-o-donnell-1.jpg[/img][/center] It was Planet Bob's version of the Old American West - an Aqua alliance periodically raided by bandits led by Rosie O’Donnell. Her gang robbed and pillaged at will from the luckless alliance. But it was the kidnapping of the children (Rosie bellowed to all within earshot that she was "adopting" them) that caused great sorrow. The very sight of Rosie sapped the will of their men to fight back or to even attempt procreation to refill their ranks. In those days, there were no erections in Farkistan. [center][IMG]http://i348.photobucket.com/albums/q341/MainyYak/FrenchOrphans1a.jpg[/img][/center] Desperate, some members traveled to a border town to buy guns, tech, and wonders to defend themselves. The proprietor of the General Store, one Mister Poptart, deftly passed along a parcel wrapped in plain brown paper from behind the counter; the men had hope these adult periodicals would kick-start their libidos. [center][IMG]http://i348.photobucket.com/albums/q341/MainyYak/porn_header.jpg[/img][/center] Then, they approached a grizzled submitter. His name was Randomly Jim. He told them guns and Penthouse alone would not do them any good; they are nation builders, not fighters. They asked him to lead them, but Randomly Jim rejected them, explaining a single man is not enough. They kept at him though, and he eventually gave in and set off to recruit more gov. First stop was the Frinklecat Saloon. All eyes focused on the curvaceous and likable squirrel, Tumultuous Papaya. Her friends called her "Tums." She had [b][i]many[/i][/b] friends. Right behind her (literally) was the wise, lecherous, and ancient Speaker of the Council, Raving MainyYak. Soon other volunteers stepped forward, Kahiel, Manwithplanx, bmckenna and Shinfat. Even with seven, the group knew they would be vastly [s]outweighed[/s] outnumbered by Rosie and her bandits. However, their expectation was that once the bandits knew they would have to fight, they would decide to move on to some other unprotected alliance, rather than bother with an all-out battle. Upon reaching the aqua sphere alliance, the group began training the members. As they worked together, the gov and alliance members began to bond; on the battlefield and ... elsewhere during the long, dark nights. The inevitable finally happened; Rosie and her child-stealing bandits struck again. Despite the odds against them, the seven gov fought back. Seeing their bravery, the alliance members overcame their own fear, grabbed whatever they could as weapons, and joined the battle. The bandits were routed and Rosie ZIed. The children of the alliance were saved and the manly urges of the men restored. And so it was then that erections returned to Farkistan. [center][img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/1674_28_04_10_5_04_05.jpeg[/img][/center] tl;dr: Farkistan held erections: The May 2010 Farkistan gov: Submitter – Randomly Jim Squirrel – Tums SotC – Raving MainyYak Council - bmckenna Council - Shinfat Council - ManwithPlanX Council - Kahiel Yeah, doomed again.

[quote name='Mind Virus' date='03 March 2010 - 03:39 AM' timestamp='1267587777' post='2212205'] Congratulations in the successful erections! ooc: Ayreonaut, fan of Ayreon? [/quote] Whatever gave you that idea? [img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/ab/Ayreon_-_Ayreonauts_Only.jpg[/img] Also, congratulations to the new TF Council.

[center][img]http://i303.photobucket.com/albums/nn159/magu2k/MarchErectionsinFarkistan.png[/img] [font=courier]February may be shorter but our erections are just as rigid![/font][/center] [font=courier]War. Chaos and bloodshed. Nuclear devastation. Ultima ratio regum. Or as we like to think of it in Fark, a heck of a good time! The Short Bus is still rolling around Planet Bob without showing any signs of stopping (despite what some would describe as a horrifying low level of infrastructure). For this reason, we thought it would be fitting to give you a report straight from the front lines. [/font] [font=courier]We are proud to present the tip of Farkistan's spear, the erected few in whom we put our trust knowing that they will not rest until the enemy has been reduced to rubble. We are talking, of course, about our brave people in the sky. [/font] [img]http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4006/4376752054_64ee72cea9_o.jpg[/img] [font=courier]While considered obsolete in some quarters, the bombing squadrons of Farkistan still believe in the superiority of any plane that survived through the Holy War. These fortresses in the sky are typically manned by a crew of five. [/font] [img]http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4005/4376004431_125f766812_o.jpg[/img] From left to right we have: [font=courier]The Captain, Raving_MainyYak: Ultimately responsible for the plane, crew and the mission. Although, the captain shown here is usually more preoccupied with reading contraband adult magazines he keeps stashed under his seat. Who needs those pesky flotation devices anyway? An empty beer bottle works just as well. The Navigator, fluoroalien: What good are all those bombs if you don't know where to drop them? The navigator keeps our boys and gals oriented. More or less. Depending on the level of inebriation. Most navigators will admit that "When in doubt, head for IRON" is always a good idea. The Radio Operator, fireguy15207: An essential member of any crew. The radio operator communicates with HQ and other planes. His role is often underestimated. Considered by the rest of the crew as a geeky oddball. When asked about his/her odd behaviour don't be surprised to get an answer involving abbreviations you've never heard of before. And references to porn movies you've wished you'd never heard of. The Bombardier, BozdaBoz: The only really important member of the crew, at least if you let him tell it himself. Capable of hitting a pixel right between the eyes from staggering heights. The only requirement for this kind of accuracy is a keg of beer, making the bombardier one of the least inebriated people on board! The Tailgunner, ManwithPlanX. Loud, undisciplined and belligerent. His job is to keep any and all enemy fighters away from the bomber with the help of his trusty twin machine guns. Sits in an exposed cupola at the back of the plane. Life expectancy on an ordinary mission is roughly 30 seconds after making contact with the enemy. Which is probably the reason that they tend to get drunk and stay that way. As someone once said "War is heck" and the Short Bus war is no exception. Our brave fighting men and women have had to endure a shortage of the three "B"s which is probably the most difficult part of the war. That and the horrible mutations and animated dead. To combat the shortage, and keep morale high, some crews have taken to painting pictures of their beloved on the nose of their plane. [img]http://www.farkistan.org/ENI%27s-wife-rough.jpg[/img] Some others prefer their first love. [img]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2705/4395117600_73351eaeaa_o.jpg[/img] Then there are the wierdos who prefer something less ordinary. [img]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2734/4395809243_654bf01d44_o.jpg[/img] And so the siren sounds and our brave fighters are off to do battle once again. As usual, we are most likely doomed. March TotalFark Council: Raving_MainyYak (Speaker of the Council) fluoroalien fireguy15207 BozdaBoz ManwithPlanX [/font]

Farkistan Erection Results: [b]Submitter:[/b] Randomly Jim [b]Squirrel:[/b] Tums [b]TotalFark Council:[/b] Emperor Norton I (Speaker Of The Council) fluoroalien Mr Cynical Pope Rodger Fireguy15207 Well, we've finished counting the votes, and wouldn't you know? FAN were absolutely spot on. I'd like to thank them for saving me so much work in organising the Erections. It may have been total chaos but it was certainly worth it, especially as I may now be able to hire them long term. I hear they also do weddings and barmitzvahs. Thanks FAN, see you next month! Ayreonaut Walken of Farkistan.

Whereas I wholeheartedly welcome a change in the oppression, and thus the new members of the TF Council.

It's beginning to look a lot like Farkmas JULY! WHEREAS, we recognize that Farkmas has become a corrupt, greed-driven, neutered corporate version of itself, and WHEREAS, we are outraged by the notion of "Farkmas in July," and WHEREAS, cold weather should never prevent the consumption of beer and grilling of meat (topped with bacon), and WHEREAS, we recognize that women in bikinis should be available for viewing pleasure year-round, and WHEREAS, the Hawaiian shirt-shorts-flip-flop combo is the most comfortable outfit known to us, and WHEREAS, I'm getting tired of typing the word "Whereas," and WHEREAS, a massive erection was held in the hopes of thrusting the rigid, old, wrinkly Farkers from office, only to have some of them come back. Now therefore be it resolved by the undersigned that the new TotalFark Council shall be: Emperor Norton I (Speaker of Council) Pope Rodger Ironone Kahiel Mr Cynical Be it further resolved, by the undersigned that we respectfully demand the creation of "July during Farkmas" for the good of Boobies, Bacon, and Beer for all. Your post below signifies your support of this worthy petition: Ayreonaut. Walken of Farkistan.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while Farkers pondered weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious package of delicious bacon, While they nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at their forum door. "'Tis some recruit," they muttered, "tapping at our forum door - Only Kahiel, and nothing more." Ah, distinctly they remember it was in the bleak November, And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly they wished the morrow; - vainly they had sought to borrow From the forums surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Big Z - For the rare and radiant sire whom the angels named Big Z - Jaromayo here for evermore. And the silken sad uncertain resource of each aqua nation Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating "'Tis some council member beating at my chamber door - Some sorry farker entreating entrance at my chamber door; - Bleak Outlook it is, and nothing more." Presently soulatomic grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, "Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; But the fact is I was fapping, and so gently you came rapping, And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at the council chamber door, That I scarce was sure I heard you" - here I opened wide the door; - ENI there, and nothing more. Deep into Cybernations peering, long I stood there wondering leering, Turning over, dreaming dreams; dreams of Tums, and a pole But the silence was unbroken, and the forum gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered words, “A troll!” This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the words, "A troll!" Yak and nothing more. Back into the forum turning, all my pixels within me burning, Soon again I heard a fapping somewhat louder than before. "Surely," said I, "surely that is something in my Boob Emporium; Let me see then, what moron ‘tis, and this mystery explore - Let my nation be still a moment and this mystery explore; - 'Tis DCAMID and nothing more!" Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a drunken stumble, In there wobbled a stately Jim of the saintly days of yore. Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he; But, with mien of lord or lady, slumped upon my forum door - Slumped upon a case of beer just upon my forum door - Slumped, and sat, UltraF+++CARRIER LOST+++. tl;dr Farkistan's new gov: Submitter: Randomly Jim Squirrel: dontcareaboutmyid Council: Raving MainyYak, Speaker of the Council Emperor Norton I Bleak Outlook Jaromayo Kahiel