Confessions of an Alliance Hopper

[Monster]

No alliance is purely active.

edit: wait what?!

Edited June 5, 2012 by Roquentin

[Devilyn Caster]

[quote name='Rotavele' timestamp='1338906860' post='2977496']
Helghan is too new to determine. [b]I mean my people will need to go somewhere, but I need to find myself a good home first. I need somewhere with a very active and very full community.[/b]
[/quote]

The bolded part right here is exactly why you will never find a good community. You have no loyalty. You started your new alliance only a week ago, and have even gone so far as to recruit and apply for embassies. What happens to your alliance-mates (Who are your responsibility) when you jump ship? Will you just throw them under the bus? This quest for a "community" is irresponsible at best, and honestly who would take you after this? You fail to see the issue and consequences of your abrupt departures and the affects it has on other people in this game. You say you strive for community and a sense of belonging? If you really want that, then learn about loyalty. Because loyalty is the only way to stay relevant in this game. If you are loyal, you will make friends, who will then in turn help you build a better community. If you want to remain forever alone, then go ahead and jump to every alliance that is willing to accept you. But leaving alliances is not the answer.

[Omniscient1]

Although I am in no position to tell you how to find a specific "home" in this current environment, I can give you advice for what has worked in the past for me personally. Make friends beyond alliance lines. See who you like both personally and politically (make sure you have both of these covered. It's not fun being considered the odd guy out), and spend some time integrating into their community of outside friends. Once you get used to the community and they're used to you talk to them about how their alliance works on the inside and if they'd be ok with you applying. In a good scenario they'll be very receptive to this idea and you'll fit in well.

The times I have done this I've found places that I was very happy with and only left do to forces outside of my control. When your decision is rushed, or based only on political or personal friendships (and not both at the same time) you will be unhappy and not enjoy your time here.

Now what you shouldn't do is make an OWF topic saying "I wish I had somewhere to go. Can I get in Umbrella!?!". Then there is no way in hell they'll let you in, and you're likely to be mocked. That'll even more decrease your chances of finding a home in that place, as they'll see you more as an OWF joke instead of an actual person. I wish you good luck in finding a new home, and hope you can get your CN career back on track if that's what you want to do.

Edited June 5, 2012 by Omniscient1

[Auctor]

There's a lot of truth to the common denominator thing. Life is too short and cyberverse is too big not to vote with your feet every now and then, but you won't ever be home anywhere you don't want to be.

[Leet Guy]

[quote name='Omniscient1' timestamp='1338913223' post='2977566']
Now what you shouldn't do is make an OWF topic saying "I wish I had somewhere to go. Can I get in Umbrella!?!". Then there is no way in hell they'll let you in, and you're likely to be mocked.
[/quote]

"Likely"

lol

[kwell]

You should try Deinos or Goons.

Edited June 5, 2012 by kwell

[kwell]

Double post :/

Edited June 5, 2012 by kwell

[Dr William Westcher]

[quote name='Timmehhh' timestamp='1338909334' post='2977525']
It's quite inactive nowadays. Just find yourself a more active alliance. Like Umbrella, MK, Non Grata, TOP or NPO for example.
[/quote]

Too good to mention R&R timmehhh? I voted for you for senate like 12 times

[Neo Uruk]

Seriously, you just have to realize that most alliances are !@#$ on the inside and become complacent where you are. I've had problems with this but I've realized this.

I was planning on staying in MK, Leet :<

[Omniscient1]

[quote name='Neo Uruk' timestamp='1338914653' post='2977575']
Seriously, you just have to realize that most alliances are !@#$ on the inside and become complacent where you are. I've had problems with this but I've realized this.

I was planning on staying in MK, Leet :<
[/quote]

Invite her to your alliance, Rey! Problem solved

[Sardonic]

[quote name='kwell' timestamp='1338914502' post='2977571']
You should try Deinos or Goons.
[/quote]
I think they should try to join NG again, I have a real good feeling this time.

[Shimmer]

It's simple. Just happen upon a place you'll fit in.

I had a hard time after TPF. Micros, ODN, Gramlins and MK in the span of ~two years or so. Now, I've been in GATO for close to 2.5 years minus two months or so.

[Zhaan]

I've never been more disappointed. You had a good thing going. I was one of the people who left my alliance to help build this one and applied only yesterday. Nice forums, professional feel, and a lot of people joining in a short time. Then you ruin it for all of us? WTH? An alliance, a home, is about the community you create...not the theme you give it. It's not about what others can do to keep you happy. It's about playing a role in your community, and as a leader, being committed to it. I've made the same mistake in the past myself, but damn...a week? Look, the game will be slow and boring at times. The new will always wear off whether you've just joined an alliance or created your own. But you stick with it. You make friends. You make a home. You don't keep going all over the place looking for others to provide you with something that you can only provide for yourself. This time, you affected more than yourself. I don't even know you, and now I get what people have against you.

[Neo Uruk]

[quote name='Omniscient1' timestamp='1338915291' post='2977590']
Invite her to your alliance, Rey! Problem solved
[/quote]
I'm not sure I'm willing to suffer the wrath of Non Grata. Especially when I'm in the middle of getting ready to sort out what's wrong with our [i]current[/i] nations.

I mean I've already got the mighty Combine on my case.

EDIT: wow where's my quote

Edited June 5, 2012 by Neo Uruk

[Duncan King]

[quote name='Rotavele' timestamp='1338909514' post='2977528']
They all hate me.
[/quote]
I doubt that they have a formal opinion of you, negative or otherwise. Although they act as a unit in public, alliances are composed of individuals and individuals rarely agree 100%. Also, no offense but I doubt that these alliances have a "Rotavele policy."

[quote name='Auctor' timestamp='1338913224' post='2977567']
There's a lot of truth to the common denominator thing. Life is too short and cyberverse is too big not to vote with your feet every now and then, but you won't ever be home anywhere you don't want to be.
[/quote]
And unfortunately, if you move too often, people start to think you're flakey. I'd still say that if you're not happy, you should move but keep in mind that it makes you look flakey when you move too much.

Edited June 5, 2012 by Duncan King

[katashimon13]

[quote name='Zhaan' timestamp='1338915663' post='2977596']
I've never been more disappointed. You had a good thing going. I was one of the people who left my alliance to help build this one and applied only yesterday. Nice forums, professional feel, and a lot of people joining in a short time. Then you ruin it for all of us? WTH? An alliance, a home, is about the community you create...not the theme you give it. It's not about what others can do to keep you happy. It's about playing a role in your community, and as a leader, being committed to it. I've made the same mistake in the past myself, but damn...a week? Look, the game will be slow and boring at times. The new will always wear off whether you've just joined an alliance or created your own. But you stick with it. You make friends. You make a home. You don't keep going all over the place looking for others to provide you with something that you can only provide for yourself. This time, you affected more than yourself. I don't even know you, and now I get what people have against you.
[/quote]
</3

there there zhaan

we still love you

rawr

[Great Lord Moth]

I had it easy. I'm as much a fixture of the RIA's namesake as of the RIA itself. I can't relate.

[tamerlane]

[quote name='Duncan King' timestamp='1338917804' post='2977640']
I doubt that they have a formal opinion of you, negative or otherwise. Although they act as a unit in public, alliances are composed of individuals and individuals rarely agree 100%. Also, no offense but I doubt that these alliances have a "Rotavele policy."
[/quote]

Heh.

Just sayin...

Edited June 5, 2012 by tamerlane

[Kzoppistan]

[quote name='Devilyn Caster' timestamp='1338912595' post='2977557']
The bolded part right here is exactly why you will never find a good community. You have no loyalty. You started your new alliance only a week ago, and have even gone so far as to recruit and apply for embassies. What happens to your alliance-mates (Who are your responsibility) when you jump ship? Will you just throw them under the bus? This quest for a "community" is irresponsible at best, and honestly who would take you after this? You fail to see the issue and consequences of your abrupt departures and the affects it has on other people in this game. You say you strive for community and a sense of belonging? If you really want that, then learn about loyalty. Because loyalty is the only way to stay relevant in this game. If you are loyal, you will make friends, who will then in turn help you build a better community. If you want to remain forever alone, then go ahead and jump to every alliance that is willing to accept you. But leaving alliances is not the answer.
[/quote]

^This is solid advice and best post I've read in a while.^

--

Rota, first, you get out of it what you put into it, which means you will only be satisfied by the fruits of your own labor. Don't contribute, don't get anything worthwhile out of it. Nothing will do it for you. And second, nothing outside of yourself will complete you if your sense of self-integrity is lacking.

If you are like me, and want to feel at home but have a bad case of wander-lust, then create that home in your heart (I know, it sounds hokey, but it's true so shut up). Then no matter where you go, you have a sense of belonging. I've never met a stranger. No person or alliance will fill that void or sense of incompleteness, it is something you have to do for yourself.

If you want to lead, you have to be responsible. If you want to be taken seriously, you have to have maturity. If you want to create a home for others, you have to be willing to plant your feet, accept the burdens of leadership, and just tough it out.

Or, just accept the fact that you will be one of those ghosts that float from alliance to alliance never really making a decent contribution or impacting current affairs or making any substantial friends. Some people play it like that.

So, in short, you ask how not to be an alliance hopper, and my advice is to grow up. To create growth, you have to be challenged, pushed outside of your comfort zone, accept those challenges as part of your life test, and overcome them. Then you will have grown.

Edited June 5, 2012 by Kzoppistan

[Max Power]

[quote name='Duncan King' timestamp='1338908442' post='2977517']
As I was writing this response, I thought of this study:

[spoiler][img]http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff120/duncanking/presidents.png[/img][/spoiler]
[url="http://academic.regis.edu/jriley/414%20presidential_character.htm"]Source[/url]

The best Presidents have been Active Positives. They were good at their jobs and liked doing them. The most problematic have been Active Negatives. They hated their jobs but did them out of a sense of duty. Positive Passives and Negative Passives aren't really engaged enough to cause serious issues.
[/quote]
Not even CN related but can't go unsaid: there are great presidents in all those categories. Unless you think, say, Gerald Ford was better than George Washington.

[Monster]

Yeah, exactly what Max said, unless you're saying Lincoln was a bad president and LBJ. I'm an active negative.

[Proest]

Honestly. Why the $%&@ do you even bother joining an alliance? Just go it alone. That way you cannot disappoint/make happy anybody.

[Banksy]

how about you delete your nation instead.

e: oh i just realised tc is a girl. i was wondering how on earth this thread got so long.

Edited June 5, 2012 by Banksy

[King Wally]

[quote name='Rotavele' timestamp='1338906200' post='2977485']
Hello,

If your on this board to read this, Im sure you have heard of me before.

However, hopefully putting everything I am in need of advice. This is a dire issue however I do not know how to act on it or how to address it. Many of you have known me throughout my many alliances, Zenith/MCXA/TIO/GGA/Legion/NPO/CSN. I left many of them (Zenith, TIO, GGA, Athens) at their disbandment. However, I am so confused. No matter where I go I just can't find a home. I like war, but at the right time. Id like to be a large nation who can account for its losses. I'd like to have a community where I can enjoy getting online and go to work with. I loved my time in CSN and MCXA, Those are two alliances i can say I was so close to. However, I always find the need to go somewhere else. I don't think i'd have ever left CSN if it wasn't for my personal mis-understanding. I'm just so confused, How can I find a place to call home? How do you guys discover which communities you fit in the most?

Im quite young (18) and change a lot. I think that may be why I don't fit in anymore. I just whatever I do cannot find a place to call home. I take CN seriously, I love improving and teaching nations, and many alliances dont take the game seriously and treat it as a joke. I have looked into Umbrella, and like the community, and like how its purely active members, but I feel like the differences we've had in the past forever bar me from that community. I feel thats the only community I could for sure fit in, but I need to find somewhere else. How do I do this?

If your responding to this, I know I am an alliance hopper. There is no need to rub it in my face. Please give me advice on how to help this issue rather than point it out.
[/quote]

Do you love nukes... like a lot?

Seriously though its much like in life with relationships, some people settle down young get married and stay together for 50 years others never find "the one". The answer to your question is more age old then you realise and the solution is only ever going to be found within yourself. There will be a multitude of communities out there that would be ideal for you, you just need to open yourself to the idea that all relationships are give and take and that "perfection" or the "perfect one" is a falacy and that in reality its the people that are willing to adapt and mould a little that will end up looking back and feeling like they are in just the right place all this time.

Good luck in your search Rotavele, and feel free to hit me up anytime, you know we've got your back if you need it.

[Freddy]

[quote name='Roquentin' timestamp='1338933460' post='2977847']
Yeah, exactly what Max said, unless you're saying Lincoln was a bad president and LBJ. I'm an active negative.
[/quote]

Lincoln was the worst president. Exhibit 1. Civil War. I rest my case.

Rota, decide what your goals are first.