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EmperorNortonI

IRON Surrenders

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IRONBoil.jpg

Karma: The Theory of Inevitable Consequence

a/k/a

FERRUM Ferveo Procul MMDCCCLXI Inhonestus

(IRON Boils at 2861°C)

Article 1.

The Independent Republic of Orange Nations (hereto after referred to as IRON) formally surrenders to the collective forces of:

  • Ascended Republic of Elite States
    Farkistan
    Fifth Column Confederation
    Gremlins
    The Order Of Halsa
    International Protection Agency
    Mostly Harmless Alliance
    Ragnarok
    Royal Order of Confederate Kingdoms

(hereto after referred to as the Alliances of Karma) under the following conditions, effective May 25, 2009 and continuing for a period of 90 days.

Article 2.

IRON and its member nations will remain neutral for the remainder of the current conflict. To avoid the highs and lows, we recommend high doses of lithium carbonate, Diazepam, or several bottles of very good single malt (perhaps a nice Laphroaig, Glenlivet, or Port Charlotte). Hey, you’re IRON Billionaires, you can afford top shelf.

Article 3.

If any member of IRON changes their Alliance Affiliation to that of one that Karma is at war with, their nation will be assumed to desire the delivery of multiple nuclear warheads. Said desire will be quickly and efficiently satisfied by the ever eager to please nations of the Alliances of Karma. If a government member changes AA to any that are at war with Karma, he or she will bring upon the entire IRON alliance the potential to be treated like hot metal under the blacksmith’s hammer.

Violations will be addressed on a case by case basis by the Protectorate alliances. And like judges at a wet tee shirt contest, their decisions may be debated, but are final.

Article 4.

instrument.jpg

For the duration of this instrument of surrender (as the above image illustrates, this instrument does not make sweet, sweet music), IRON shall not accept any member who surrendered and is listed as KarmaPOW AA as of the effective date.

Article 5.

IRON will not provide any type of aid or support to nations or alliances at war with the Alliances of Karma. This includes resuming warfare, sending military or financial aid, providing free hookers and blow (although providing secks workers or recreational pharmas at cost will be permitted), or engaging in spy operations against the signatory alliances and their allies.

a. IRON shall not send or receive aid from any alliance, other than itself, and the alliances to which it is surrendering.

b. IRON is encouraged to participate in foreign aid deals with nations of the Alliances of Karma as a demonstration of goodwill and the desire to see all involved nations recover from the recent extermination of billions of innocent pixels.

c. IRON nations will not be permitted to participate in secret aid deals. Nations found in violation of this will be punished accordingly.

Article 6.

For the same reason that paying a fine for vomiting on the nice police officer’s shoes after he notices you stumbling from those bushes outside the bar is meant as a token of penitence, rather than filling the city’s treasure chest, IRON agrees to acknowledge “you win, we lose” by paying a total of 20,000 technology and $1,500,000,000 in reparations to Ragnarok; and 2,500 technology each to the International Protection Agency, Ascended Republic of Elite States, The Order of Halsa, and Royal Order of Confederate Kingdoms.

The Grämlins, Farkistan, Mostly Harmless Alliance, and Fifth Column Confederation consider the IRON nations’ hospitality during this conflict payment enough and request no additional repartitions.

a. IRON agrees to pay reparations in lots of $3,000,000/50 technology per slot, or 50 technology per slot where no cash compensation is required.

b. Payment of reparations shall begin once the receiving nations are able to receive aid. Receiving alliances will notify IRON when aid offers can be accepted.

Article 7.

IRON agrees to maintain a soldier count of less than 50% of each nation's citizen count and must decommission all aircraft, cruise missiles, navy vessels, nuclear weapons and tanks, except as noted below.

a. Given the facts that soldiers returning home turn their interest to other types of conquest, and the renowned fertility of IRON’s women, a massive increase in population will naturally occur and will raise the baseline civilian population, allowing for an eventual increase in allowable soldier count. So sign off and go get busy, boys.

b. Existing Improvements and Wonders may be retained.

c. IRON is permitted to retain a maximum of 100 nuclear weapons, but no more than 10 within any single nation, to deal with nuke rogues. Nations with the Weapons Research Complex (WRC) Wonder may not hold nuclear weapons unless given permission by the Protectorate alliances.

d. IRON will be under the protection of Fark, Grämlins, Mostly Harmless Alliance, and Ragnarok for the duration of these terms. Since we’re all half drunk (or more) most of the time, that could prove interesting.

Article 8.

With the granting of peace to IRON, IRON agrees to grant peace to all nations on Planet Bob. All existing wars, PZI lists, EZI lists, and ZI lists are to be considered null, void, and waived. Clean the slate. It’s considered good karma to forgive old grudges. That way you can be the happy drunk everybody laughs with instead of the mean drunk everybody laughs at.

Article 9.

All of IRON's existing treaties that include military obligations are suspended for the duration of this agreement. No new treaties, other than surrender documents related to the current conflict, may be signed; and no existing treaties may be upgraded.

Article 10.

As additional reparations for their larger involvement in the war, the following leaders of IRON; FinsterBaby, Shan Revan, Peron, Griffon, MCRABT, Matt Miller, Grizz Goose, Krash, and bay102174 are required to conduct a thorough evaluation of at least five beers. Any member of the IRON leadership with a weak liver, insufficient age, or other impediment to a proper evaluation of said suds may instead conduct a similar study of at least three variations of bacon. Their final report must be submitted to Pope Rodger, Squirrel of Farkistan to be published in the CyberNations Forums within 30 days of the signing of this agreement. Any evaluation of a malted beverage that contains the word "light", "lite", or "ultra" will be considered a crime against humanity and said evaluator shall submit to public ridicule until this matter is forgotten.

Article 11.

IRON has 72 hours to come into compliance with the above terms. Compliance is defined here to mean, taking those actions necessary to complete, or beginning the process that will result in completion of the objectives spelled out in in Articles 1 through 9. During the compliance period, all nations involved in the current conflict with IRON, shall observe a cease fire. During this time, to assure compliance, Alliance of Karma nations are free to declare on IRON nations, but shall not attack. Should IRON fail to comply, Alliance of Karma nations will resume their attacks on IRON.

Article 12.

Violation of these terms, other than Article 10, may result in the resumption of war at the discretion of the signatory alliances.

Signed,

The Independent Republic of Orange Nations

FinsterBaby, President

Shan Revan, Secretary of State, IRON Councilor

Peron, Minister of Defense, IRON Councilor

Griffon, Deputy Minister of Defense, IRON Councilor

MCRABT, Minister of Internal Affairs, IRON Councilor

Matt Miller, Minister of the Vault, IRON Councilor

Krash, Minister of Labor, IRON Councilor

Grizz Goose, Minister of Central Intelligence, IRON Councilor

bay102174, Minister of Tables, IRON Councilor

Ascended Republic of Elite States

Joe Stupid, President

Farkistan

Emperor Norton I, Submitter

Pope Rodger, Squirrel

Ackbarican Idol, Speaker of the Council

Spanky22, TotalFark Council

RavingMainYak, TotalFark Council

RandomlyJim, TotalFark Council

WickedJ, TotalFark Council

Fifth Column Confederation

Methrage, King

Bradicus, Director of Foreign Affairs

Lovealot, Director of Development

Terveis, Director of War

ChairmanR, Director of Technology

Cujothekitten, Director of Interior

MaineGOP, Director of Expansion

Grämlins

Bob Janova, Executor

Egwaterboy61, Judicator

Ertyy, Council of Archons

International Protection Agency

FireGuy15207, Chief of State

Emperor Marx, Chief Advisor

Big Jeff, Secretary of Foreign Affairs

Borsk Fey'lya, Secretary of Internal Affairs

CyberRuler, Secretary of Defense

Hamjamjr, Senator

Aceofspades, Senator

LabRat, Senator

Kevin McDonald, Senator

Mostly Harmless Alliance

Crushtania, Triumvir

Sorum, Triumvir

Working Class Ruler, Triumvir

Ragnarok

Gen. Lee, Triumvir

Alfred Von Tripitz, Triumvir

rishnokof, Triumvir

Royal Order of Confederate Kingdoms

Smooth Pancakes, Supreme Judge

Aeon

Ghostlin, Wolf Catalyst of Aeon

Jewelangel, Guardian of the Exterior

Pokeikon, Guardian of the Interior

The Order Of Halsa

Lenard, High Magistrate

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IRON..Some of the best people I have met. Was an honor fighting you guys and hopefully relations between our two alliances will increase in the future. Good battle, good fight, and a good war.

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large surrender terms are large, congrats on peace IRON.

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Fair terms. This will probably make the grl go down though :(

edit:

large surrender terms are large, congrats on peace IRON.

50 tech and $2,5 mil per member is incredibly large reps now? Where were you when we recived the noCB terms? I missed your protests

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amazing

glad there are reps B)

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Awesome :)

I am glad to see my friends in IRON finaly able to rest their weary soldiers.

You fought a good fight and have my respect as allways.

Also obligatory

)): Shan )):

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Congrats on the fight IRON! May you serve out these terms as soon as possible.

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heh, Ragnarok. Good job on a generally reasonable peace, at least.

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No white peace pathetic... IRON Shouldn't agree to this id rather quit CN then agree to this kinda bullcrap.. IRON didnt have to fight but they did they knew they were gonna lose but still fought bravely they deserve white peace.

Article 8.

With the granting of peace to IRON, IRON agrees to grant peace to all nations on Planet Bob. All existing wars, PZI lists, EZI lists, and ZI lists are to be considered null, void, and waived. Clean the slate. It’s considered good karma to forgive old grudges. That way you can be the happy drunk everybody laughs with instead of the mean drunk everybody laughs at

To bad Karma can't

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