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Peacetime Boredom sets in for Cobra and Friends:

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Bagpiping Fact into News

Tonight's headlines:

 

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Skynet Issues Recall code - Malfunctioning T-1000 successfully extracted:

 

Since the reformation of Non Grata, many people directly or indirectly involved with their crusade will have come across the absolute braincrash of a leader known as "Terminator". The leader in question began as one of the many recruits for Non Grata with their war against the Freehold (more on that later) and began gloating and emitting the phrase "reeeee" and "tard" at anyone who happened to stray in front of his stream of verbal diarrhea. Initially it seemed he would be a good fit and a valiant crusader for the forces of Non Grata- until of course an actual threat began to emerge.

 

When word began to spread that the forces of Oculus were preparing to attack Non Grata, the malfunctioning T-1000 prototype initiated what can only be ascertained as a built-in survival fail-safe to protect it from any real danger. At the mention of Oculus involvement, the T-1000 began declaring publicly that he was looking for the door and started appealing to leaders to grant him mercy. Even Canik, the leader of the Freehold himself, was initially willing to grant Terminator the asylum he sought for his actions against his own alliance (more on the Freehold's desire to not do any fighting at all, later)

 

The T-1000 then began desperately fishing for legitimate reasons to desert Non Grata, one of which involved getting offended at this humble journalist calling out the blatant attempts at desertion (I am after-all a fervent believer that all deserters must be shot, though it would seem that belief is not universally held in this world) Eventually the unit dropped the Non Grata affiliation before starting a Bakery- a very clear sign that the malfunction had began to worsen. After that he seemed to join a 1-man cult called "The Phoenix Collective"- likely named in order to be intentionally boring.

 

Now the T-1000's journey is at an end; He has found his solace within the borders of Nordreich, where he can now hopefully have his malfunction repaired by their technicians and serve as an adequate plaything for his new handlers.

 

The Day Today would like to congratulate CrinkledStraw of CLAWS for their valiant effort to chase down the malfunctioning unit themselves. I'm sure there will be many people to reward your efforts in the coming weeks.

 

 

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Freehold of the Wolves' valiant fightback agai- wait no that isn't right.....one second.

 

Freehold tailgating continues - Absolutely no one surprised.

As of the date of this publication The Day Today can confirm that a grand total of Nine active wars currently stand with the Freehold of the Wolves:

Alliance Nation Statistics

Last Updated: 8/27/2019 12:12:35 AM

Land Infras. Tech Aircraft Nukes
273,490 1,072,048 1,236,346 6,349 2,185
Soldiers Tanks Cruise Navy Active Wars
4,821,389 268,530 373 3,513 9
Aid Slots Votes War Mode Peace Mode Anarchy
313 / 683
(45.83%)
145 96 20 11

 

One might have thought that, given the absurd amount of 'indirect' backup they have at their disposal they would immediately start showing their gratitude to their betters in Oculus (or as I like to call them; the planet-suffocating Algae Bloom) by launching some offensive wars at Non Grata to actually defend the flag that they claim is theirs.

 

Apparently not.

 

(That's all we've got on this one, statistics make for very boring news)

 

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COBRA Space Program detects bizarre Radio Frequency from 'Alien World'

The end of the Cobralition/RFI conflict has brought with it the usual worker malaise from inside the numerous Strategic Defense Initiatives. Upon inspection of these facilities, the new King of Cobra ordered all the "lazy grotesquely ugly freaks" staffing the currently redundant defense systems to start scouring the galaxy for any irregularities. He informed the staff that a face made of gnashing teeth came to him in a dream and whispered the words "Tastes Good on Th' Bun" and "Johnny, You are The Stallion" before waking up in hot sweats and a craving for a Pork Roll.

 

After days of planet scanning, the SDI radio towers began picking up a bizarre radio frequency from a Planet listed on Astronomic charts as "Steve". The broadcast sounds like music but also inexplicably causes bouts of extreme rage. The King's ears pricked up when he deciphered "Tastes Good on th' Bun" and ordered a small exploratory operation toward the planet in hope of discovering more. Unfortunately, many of the weak-willed SDI staff's ears began bleeding uncontrollably upon hearing the broadcast- so if you are unemployed and in need of work I have been asked to inform you that we are hiring. Contract and Salary negotiable.

 

For those of strong and sound mind the captured recording can be found below:

 

 

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Non Grata regime change - Stewie the 'Starchild' takes the reigns

 

This feature is to serve as a Public Service Broadcast for all readers who happen to reside within Oculus alliances, as well as their cohorts involved in the 'blacklisting' of Non Grata as a rogue entity.

 

The Day Today has received some enlightening intelligence from the Blacklist Coalition who, being utterly incapable of stepping to Non Grata and their sympathizers on a public forum, have initiated a gag order to avoid embarrassing themselves any further. All previous discussions have been subject to a quarantine by the Planetary Overseers (though this is probably not at all related to the gag order) and the silence of the algae begins to take hold of this once bustling hub of interplanetary discourse.

 

It has also been revealed that all members party to the 'Blacklist Coalition' have had their radios infected with a virus. The coding of the virus has been arranged in such a way to modify all public speech from Non Grata so it sounds like the leaders have inhaled a large amount of Helium in order to make them sound incredulous. A rather underhanded technique to be sure.

 

In light of this gag order, The Day Today would like to openly address all signatories to the "Disposal of Caustic Materials" and ask them the following questions individually;

 

- Why are Non Grata to be considered a 'rogue entity'? After-all, rogues by definition are not people who return to this world- quite the opposite in fact.

- Is this declaration to be considered permanent, or will Non Grata at some point regain their status as an official alliance in their eyes?

- Why does this coalition choose to fight a war for an alliance who are very clearly taking a backseat?

- How long will they sit on their thumbs as the Freehold refuses to pull their weight?

- What are your real feelings regarding the Freehold of the Wolves?

- With Stewie as the new God Emperor, are you willing to reconsider your position?

 

The Day Today asks these questions as it considers the mass blacklisting of Non Grata to be wholly unnecessary. While this journalist acknowledges that NPO and IRON do have a legitimate axe to grind with Non Grata, many of the signatories ultimately have no stake in this fight and show no desire to get actively involved.

 

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An Artist's portrayal of the attempted brainwashing of Oculus members

 

The editorial staff at The Day Today publicly denounce the blacklisting of Non Grata as rogues and instead recognise them as a legitimate alliance, we encourage others to do the same and for signatories of the blacklist to reconsider their position. Non Grata may not be an alliance you view with respect but this by no means entitles you to attempt to eliminate them from existence.

 

Or to sum up with an image:

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"A 'Blacklist', isn't that rather stupid?"

 

That's it.

There is no more news.

Sorry.

Go away.

Commencing Memetic Warface in 5, 4, 3.....

 

 

 

 

Edited by Johnny Apocalypse

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Interesting article, is it in braille?

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Preach it, brother.

Silence is for suckers, let's get loud up in this !@#$%*!

 

The lamest thing about Terminator is that he's been plotting against CLAWS since last year and has been given every opportunity to go through with his plans.

Yet there they are and he has run back to his betters for a much needed re-education course.

 

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Lmfao

390ppo.jpg

 

 

 

 

Edited by General Kanabis

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2 minutes ago, aris said:

Interesting article, is it in braille?

 

Yes, if you check the bullet holes in the infrastructure of various FTW nations, you will find that Non Grata troops have ensured that The Day Today remains accessible for people with blindness as a disability.

 

Such is their benevolence.

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All hail Stewie, God Emperor and Starchild of Non Grata 

 

Behold his, I mean my Lazer beams keeping The Day Today accessible 

 

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Johnny,

 

I'm always entertained, though I think your assessment of our fighting capabilities is lacking. Outside a few targets (shout out to RV this round) I'm growing bored trying to find a partner in the bloodbath. 

 

I'm eager to hear the amswer to these questions though. 

 

Sincerely,

Joseph M. Black

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18 minutes ago, Joseph Black said:

I'm growing bored trying to find a partner in the bloodbath. 

 

Get in line and wait your turn like everyone else.

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20 minutes ago, Joseph Black said:

Johnny,

 

I'm always entertained, though I think your assessment of our fighting capabilities is lacking. Outside a few targets (shout out to RV this round) I'm growing bored trying to find a partner in the bloodbath. 

 

I'm eager to hear the amswer to these questions though. 

 

Sincerely,

Joseph M. Black

 

Because NPO, IRON and lolegion are faster at filling our slots than you are

 

If you want us, message their Milcom saying you want slots...  don't whine.

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21 minutes ago, Joseph Black said:

Johnny,

 

I'm always entertained, though I think your assessment of our fighting capabilities is lacking. Outside a few targets (shout out to RV this round) I'm growing bored trying to find a partner in the bloodbath. 

 

I'm eager to hear the amswer to these questions though. 

 

Sincerely,

Joseph M. Black

 

My dear Joseph, here are some amswers:

 

 

8209023_033c2cc8a92d4572bf08f9759cc7112d    which translates to:             hurf_durf_by_curtp_d2mrw7d-350t.jpg?toke

 

 

 

 

And this one I couldn't have put better myself:

 

aa8f816dd6b7acc205bb65e8cd658ddf.jpg

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4 minutes ago, Stewie said:

 

Because NPO, IRON and lolegion are faster at filling our slots than you are

 

If you want us, message their Milcom saying you want slots...  don't whine.

 

4 minutes ago, General Kanabis said:

 

Get in line and wait your turn like everyone else.

 

My problem isnt getting a slot, its the dead fish I get to fight. At least attack back, I cant get casualties without a fighting opponent. The God Emperor demands blood and yet my offering goes ignored.

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Those questions have answers, but if anything, you will get them with three layers of sugarcoating.  Otherwise would seem too assholish.

 

Bottom line: weak casus belli.

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8 minutes ago, Stewie said:

 

Because NPO, IRON and lolegion are faster at filling our slots than you are

 

If you want us, message their Milcom saying you want slots...  don't whine.

 

This. The guy I fought from IRON last round hit me again this around, as soon as he got out of anarchy. He didn't flee to PM, he came right back at me. No one's gonna wait for FTW to blow staggers that they are perfectly capable of taking.

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8 minutes ago, Lex Quintus said:

 

My dear Joseph, here are some amswers:

 

 

8209023_033c2cc8a92d4572bf08f9759cc7112d    which translates to:             hurf_durf_by_curtp_d2mrw7d-350t.jpg?toke

 

 

 

 

And this one I couldn't have put better myself:

 

aa8f816dd6b7acc205bb65e8cd658ddf.jpg

 

Lex,

 

Nice touch. 

 

e255945012bab567818466b592ec5984.jpg

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Just now, Joseph Black said:

 

Lex,

 

Nice touch. 

 

e255945012bab567818466b592ec5984.jpg

 

Whatever that man's "Deliciously Wicked Desires" concerning that wolf are.....it is not right. That image needs a swift and reliable link straight to Leviticus 18:23.

 

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4 minutes ago, Lyanna Mormont said:

 

Whatever that man's "Deliciously Wicked Desires" concerning that wolf are.....it is not right. That image needs a swift and reliable link straight to Leviticus 18:23.

 

 

Lyanna,

 

The man is the wolf, the image refers to the duel nature of those who speak kindly, but are just looking to kill you down the road. The duality of kindness and danger.

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19 minutes ago, Joseph Black said:

 

 

My problem isnt getting a slot, its the dead fish I get to fight. At least attack back, I cant get casualties without a fighting opponent. The God Emperor demands blood and yet my offering goes ignored.

 

Y'all had a chance to get at Polar when they literally plotted against RFI. Don't complain when the real reason you're fighting (some) dead fish is your leadership's lack of a backbone and their inability to handle their own mess.

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3 minutes ago, Joseph Black said:

 

Lyanna,

 

The man is the wolf, the image refers to the duel nature of those who speak kindly, but are just looking to kill you down the road. The duality of kindness and danger.

 

#justfurrythings

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2 hours ago, Johnny Apocalypse said:

 

 

oVesAG3.png

Skynet Issues Recall code - Malfunctioning T-1000 successfully extracted:

 

Since the reformation of Non Grata, many people directly or indirectly involved with their crusade will have come across the absolute braincrash of a leader known as "Terminator". The leader in question began as one of the many recruits for Non Grata with their war against the Freehold (more on that later) and began gloating and emitting the phrase "reeeee" and "tard" at anyone who happened to stray in front of his stream of verbal diarrhea. Initially it seemed he would be a good fit and a valiant crusader for the forces of Non Grata- until of course an actual threat began to emerge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQlrTiNsVsQKSoKdc0GuR4    

 

 

B8qIU6VCYAAoGf-.jpg

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5 minutes ago, General Kanabis said:

 

Y'all had a chance to get at Polar when they literally plotted against RFI. Don't complain when the real reason you're fighting (some) dead fish is your leadership's lack of a backbone and their inability to handle their own mess.

 

GK,

 

It's luck that Occulus entered when they did. Now y'all can blame my dead fish wars on something other than the dead fish. 

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4 minutes ago, Joseph Black said:

 

GK,

 

It's luck that Occulus entered when they did. Now y'all can blame my dead fish wars on something other than the dead fish. 

 

 

Here's a fun graphic showing how things were going, toward the end there:

 

 

 

shark_kitty_shirt-270x221.jpg

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14 minutes ago, General Kanabis said:

 

Y'all had a chance to get at Polar when they literally plotted against RFI. 

 

Never too late to correct the situation, but they'd need to be ejected from Oculus first. 

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6 minutes ago, Joseph Black said:

 

GK,

 

It's luck that Occulus entered when they did. Now y'all can blame my dead fish wars on something other than the dead fish. 

 

It's a good thing you call it 'luck' really.

 

FTW-fighting.png

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21 minutes ago, Joseph Black said:

 

GK,

 

It's luck that Occulus entered when they did. Now y'all can blame my dead fish wars on something other than the dead fish. 

 

3916em.jpg

Easy to preen like the pretentious peacock you are from where you're pixel hugging.

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