Lex Quintus

A PUBLIC SERVICE BULLETIN FROM THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS Specialists in the Kashmiri military have long endeavored to protect the alliance through means unconventional and paranormal. Redacted versions of their exploits have been featured in Hollywood films. Recent efforts at mental quarantine have been much in the news, and this primer is offered for the edification of the population at large, to both reduce confusion and raise awareness. RFID BLOCKING: WHAT IS IT? RFID stands for Roll For Initiative Delusions. Today they are found in passports and credit cards as wafer thin chips to help speed up transactions. They store and transmit your account information plus personal details. They are also found on battlefields and in diplomatic channels, seeking to up-end causality and the very fabric of space-time itself. So where does RFID blocking come in? Handheld scanners (which thieves can easily come by) can read these chips through wallets and clothing up to several feet away. Think of it as electronic pickpocketing or identity theft. Newly issued credit cards, passports, and other IDs have embedded RFID chips. Sanity theft via RFID readers is also growing. You can protect your personal sanity with the use of RFID blocking wallets and RFID blocking passport covers. These items contain a metal fiber mesh that makes a “cage” around the chip that RFI waves cannot penetrate. Credit and identification cards now have RFID technology embedded into them. Most newly issued Passports have RFID chips in them. The chip contains all the data that is on the first page of your passport including your photo. Even your driver’s license can have an RFID chip. How Does RFID Work? RFID, Roll For Initiative Delusions, is the technology that lets you transmit baffling concepts far and wide. Unfortunately, criminals with minimal technical skills can construct their own RFID readers with a few simple supplies. These devices can steal your private financial information, not to mention your very sanity, quickly and silently, all the perpetrator needs to do is come near your wallet with the hidden card reader. You wouldn’t know it at all. Here, Kashmiri commandos prototype (!) equipment designed to repel RFIDS: FAQs Will the RFID material wear out? No, it is designed to last for years of use. The RFID material in the wallet looks like paper. It looks like paper because it is paper. But layered in between two external coats of paper is a very thin metallic layer of the patented FIPS 201 approved RFID shielding material. Can a RFID signal go through things like leather, vinyl, and clothing? Yes, that is exactly why the RFID shield is a smart security precaution. How far away can a smart credit card embedded with a RFID chip be read? Up to 10 ft is the most common range. Who is most vulnerable to this type of ID theft? Travelers and people who live in urban areas and frequent public places like coffee shops, airports, commuter trains, or spreadsheet games are at the greatest risk for falling victim to theft by RFID scanner.

Point of order, you are currently in a war declared on you by a dashing band of rogues

GK verily has no sense* of mercy, and for that I love him See you around the (310) duder *(sic). Please God let there be some, any, who remember this construction.

:woot: Because I am in the mood for a laugh: Can we now please purchase 4 nukes today to offset the ones we couldn't yesterday? 🍿

Welp, the zombie apocalypse is upon us. Grab all the machetes and katanas you can lay hands on, and look at the flowers, Lizzie.

A guy is driving when one of his wheels comes off! He manages to pull over safely and recovers the tire. When he does he notices that he does not have any spare lug nuts to re-secure the tire the car. He spends a good long while pacing around the car and cursing. He notices that he is being watched by a man in blue scrubs and white slippers and robe behind a tall fence. Finally the guy in the robe asks the driver, "Do you want to know what I think?" The driver responds , "No, you moron, I don't want to know what you think! Can't you see that I'm stuck here and the nearest gas station is miles away!" The guy in the robe suggests that the driver take a nut from each remaining tire to secure the rogue one. That way, each tire has three and he can make it to the gas station. The driver looks up and sees that he broke down in front of the insane asylum and he realizes the guy in the robe must be a patient...the driver asks, "Hey, you seem like a pretty bright guy. What are you doing in there?" The guy in the robe responds, "I'm crazy, not stupid."

My Dear Joseph, You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, or in this case cracking a few heads. In any case, urban renewal always entails some degree of creative destruction in service of the ultimate goal. As with any project of this type and size, it is incumbent upon the project manager to successfully advocate within the community as to the return on investment and eventual benefit to the entire community, and the larger metropolitan area as well. You may be interested to know that one of the features which was value-engineered out of this project was a retail establishment for tech, at a rate of 6/200. The steering committee felt this would be met with derision among the local citizenry, and therefore this space will remain shuttered during the grand opening. Hoping that this elaboration may prove edifying, and that I may be able to provide some small assistance in future if called upon, I remain, Yours truly, Lex Quintus By way of postscript, a joke: Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light-bulb? A: Just one, but the light-bulb has to want to change.

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Where you see a parking lot, we see the ground floor of an exciting real estate opportunity, full of upside and exuberant (though not irrationally so) optimism

Coming soon to a theater near you: When Hostage-Face Attacks!

Operation: Steel Rain-Man

When you say soporific were you thinking more of sophomoric? Asking for a friend.

That was not disavowal, that was answering your question; to wit, was he acting on his own or on behalf of Kashmir. Jack is like the scirocco, he blows across the desert heedless of the boundaries set by men. Always will he be a brother, in'shallah may he say the same.

Bonus points if said Pontiac was promptly taken to the A&W drive-thru. Hail Fredonia!

The enemy of my enemy is my SuperFriend. Parallel play is still play, and we are learning to throw less sand.