Arcane Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 [center] As you all know, in Farkistan, we do things a little bit differently. Between last month and this month's erection cycle, what we call our refractory period, we've decided that people are voting using their heads, rather than what we'd ideally like them to be using, complete and utter randomness. So instead of putting up candidate names, we just posted pictures of balloons from Thanksgiving Day parades of the past in the Official Farkistani Voting Booth (seen below), and randomly (and sekritly) assigned a candidate to them. Hell, we don't even know if this is legal or binding, but we do know that it's produced a VASTLY better outcome then anything we've done in the past. [img]http://www.wonkydonky.net/images/elephantbuttmacyfloat.jpg[/img] [i][size=0.7em]Official Farkistani Voting Booth. 905, pictured, is too drunk to climb the voting ramp[/size][/i] [size=5][b]After 784 votes were counted, here's who won, [/b][/size][size=5][b]and [/b][/size] [size=5][b]some [/b][/size][size=5][b]of the reasons that Farkers gave for choosing them:[/b][/size] [hr] [size="5"][u][b]For the position of Submitter:[/b][/u][/size] [img]http://www.farkistan.org/announcements/november2011/submitter.jpg[/img] Randomly Assigned to [b]905[/b] [i]893 Votes [/i] [i][size=medium][b]"Why did you choose this balloon [/b][/size] [size=medium][b]as your vote for Submitter?"[/b][/size][/i] [img]http://www.farkistan.org/announcements/november2011/funny.jpg[/img] [b]UltimateDogg:[/b] "I just really identified with this character. His love for sweets and his sexy pants are all of the qualities we want, no, DESERVE, to have representing Farkistan!" [img]http://www.farkistan.org/announcements/november2011/angry.jpg[/img] [b]P3: [/b][b]"[/b]What, you guys were farkin' serious? Those were the real votes? God, you're all a bunch of ***holes" [b][img]http://www.farkistan.org/announcements/november2011/pervert.jpg[/img][/b] [b]smontag: [/b][b]"[/b]Any balloon that can eat two testicles in an ice cream cone gets my vote!" [hr] [size="5"][b][u]For the position of Squirrel:[/u][/b][/size] [img]http://www.farkistan.org/announcements/november2011/squirrel.jpg[/img] Randomly Assigned to [b]Mr Vicarious[/b] [i]755 Votes[/i] [i] [size=medium][b]"Why did you choose this balloon [/b][/size] [size=medium][b]as your vote for Squirrel?"[/b][/size][/i] [img]http://www.farkistan.org/announcements/november2011/indianman.jpg[/img] [b]Paranoia[/b][b]:[/b] [b]"[/b]What if squirrels had guns and hunted the hunters, man!?! Up with Squirrels!" [img]http://www.farkistan.org/announcements/november2011/indianwoman.jpg[/img] [b]Tumultuous Papaya: [/b][b]"[/b]They're so cute and furry, I just want to take him home...what's coming out of its butt?" [img]http://www.farkistan.org/announcements/november2011/hippie.jpg[/img] [b]Abbadon99[/b][b]: [/b][b]"[/b]Government? I thought I was picking lunch?[b]"[/b] [hr] [size="5"][u][b]For the position of Speaker of the Council:[/size][/b][/u] [b][img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6045/6284899414_2cc5a6a1ab.jpg[/img] Randomly Assigned to ironone [i]1231 Votes[/i] [i][size=medium]"Why did you choose this balloon [/size][size=medium]as [/size] [size=medium]your vote for Speaker of the Council?"[/size][/i] [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6107/6284428969_72d62cf7fe_m.jpg[/img] Yak:[/b] "I feel a drunk frog is an apt metaphor for the position of SotC." [b][img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6228/6284428953_149c0a145c_m.jpg[/img][/b] [b]Decide R Inchief: [/b]"What could better symbolize the average Farker better than a drunk Muppet?" [b][img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6101/6284428941_99fe25dcdc_m.jpg[/img][/b] [b]Fat-Free Milk: [/b]"Cuz I'm drunk. And i'm used to having some guy's hand up my [redacted]." [hr] [u][size="5"][b]For the position of TF Council:[/b][/size][/u] [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6045/6284381745_ca6f45077f.jpg[/img] Randomly Assigned to BozDaBoz [i]1231 Votes[/i] [b][i][size=medium]"Why did you choose this balloon [/size] [size=medium]as your vote for TF Council?"[/size][/i][/b] [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6039/6284428981_8fc1a04e95_m.jpg[/img] [b]Ecobuckeye: [/b]"Because politicians are a bunch of dirty liars! This is Pinnochio in office!" [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6043/6284428995_337f2d692d_m.jpg[/img] [b]lostindenver: [/b]"What's 'TF Council?" [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6227/6284429001_b3657fc5bb_m.jpg[/img] [b]Moose Hole:[/b] "I dunno. I felt curiously drawn to it." [hr] [u][size="5"][b]For the position of TF Council:[/b][/size][/u] [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6053/6296841980_ff41676ccc.jpg[/img] Randomly Assigned to Kahiel [i]1231 Votes[/i] [i][b][size=medium]"Why did you choose this balloon [/size] [size=medium]as your vote for TF Council?"[/size][/b][/i] [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6019/6296310315_8fda79f5f9_m.jpg[/img] [b]Kosmokenny:[/b] "You know it's so long since I heard the 'Randolph,' I thought my first name was 'Corporal.'" [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6109/6296842288_7fce00e1f7_m.jpg[/img] [b]Quadriplegic: [/b]"I want freedom for the full expression of my personality." [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6112/6296842348_c1fe7980f8_m.jpg[/img] [b]docmeister:[/b] "Why, back in the old country if I had done something like this, my father would have bitten my head off!" [hr] [u][size="5"][b]For the position of TF Council:[/b][/size][/u] [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6220/6296842138_7aa8ee849d.jpg[/img] Randomly Assigned to Fireguy15207 [i]1231 Votes[/i] [i][b][size=medium]"Why did you choose this balloon [/size] [size=medium]as your vote for TF Council?"[/size][/b] [/i] [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6050/6296842382_481ec0685c_m.jpg[/img] [b]Randomly Jim:[/b] "I was exercising my Farkistani charter right to bear arms!" [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6019/6296842410_298522d24f_m.jpg[/img] [b]HappyTheHobo: [/b]"There's something noble about bears. And, it reminds me of my lover." [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6211/6296842442_cc64a58709_m.jpg[/img] [b]fluoroalien:[/b] "I was hoping to see the bear tear into the little blue guy!" [hr] [u][size="5"][b]For the position of TF Council:[/b][/size][/u] [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6093/6296842266_61e501a46a.jpg[/img] Randomly Assigned to spleen63 [i]1231 Votes[/i] [i] [b][size=medium]"Why did you choose this balloon [/size] [size=medium]as your vote for TF Council?"[/size][/b][/i] [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6230/6296842452_695e190808_m.jpg[/img] [b]Binuru: [/b]"Because I just looooovvvvve seamen!" [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6238/6296310265_1cf7a85f73_m.jpg[/img][b] Bleak Outlook:[/b] "Maybe he'll introduce me to Alice the Goon!" [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6104/6296842500_b70f5b44f9_m.jpg[/img] [b]D2theMcV: [/b]"Well-meaning, decent people will condemn the behavior of a D2theMcV, while they're walking past a magazine rack full of the very kinds of things that send young kids down the road to be D2theMcVs." [hr] [b][size="5"]Your New Randomly Erected[/size] [size="5"]Farkistani Government:[/size][/b] Submitter: [b]905[/b] Squirrel: [b]Mr Vicarious[/b] Speaker of the Council: [b]ironone[/b] TF Council: [b]BozDaBoz[/b] TF Council: [b]Kahiel[/b] TF Council: [b]Fireguy15207[/b] TF Council: [b]Spleen63[/b][/center] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IYIyTh Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 Impressive lineup, you bunch of Farkers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EViL0nE Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 Congrats to the new .gov. I always knew you were all full of hot air. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Louis the II Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 o/ ramdom votes! Congrats brothers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibsonator21 Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 (edited) Congrats on the... [i]successful[/i] elections, Fark. <3 Edited November 1, 2011 by Gibsonator21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spleen63 Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 All I have to say is *facepalm* Seriously, this alliance has gone down the tubes. The only thing positive from this is I learned Larry Storch is still alive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RavingMainyYak Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 [quote name='spleen63' timestamp='1320153707' post='2836416'] All I have to say is *facepalm* Seriously, this alliance has gone down the tubes. The only thing positive from this is I learned Larry Storch is still alive. [/quote] Larry Storch? What about Larry Hagman? Or Larry Fine? [img]http://therestlessmouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/cm9060_LarryFine_StoogeLic-2.jpg[/img] Oh wait, he [i]is[/i] dead. (also hotlink) Anyways, congrats to the new gov, same as the old gov in that we are doomed. [img]http://www.farkistan.org/Smileys/farkistan/crock_pot.png[/img] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leet Guy Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 What a clever new style Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoppistan Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 Ha ha ha, that's !@#$@#$ hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banedon Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 As the official Legion ambassador to FARK, I welcome the new government. Your erections are always random, drunk, and funny. A fine example to us all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodger Waldie Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 who r these people congradz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Xander the Only Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 Fireguy is awesome. Congrats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wes the wise Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 That was a fun read! Congrats guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaazzam Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 That's pretty damn funny. Well done mudda farkers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex987 Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 Congrats to Fark as always on their random erections! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Custodian Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 That was fun - well done Fark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panhead369 Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 What is this I don't even? Anyway, 0/ Fark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Frontier Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 Congratz to everyone Needs more bacon and boobs and beer though xD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Wally Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 Congratz you crazy ass Farkers! PS: this thread requires more "BOOM"... so the NPL will assist... [img]http://www.mnn.com/sites/default/files/nuke-blast-feat.jpg[/img] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wickedj Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 congrats to all my old friends, FG, Boz, ironone but one question... where the $%&@ did you find this image? [img]http://www.wonkydonky.net/images/elephantbuttmacyfloat.jpg[/img] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Vicarious Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 (edited) [quote name='wickedj' timestamp='1320182342' post='2836703'] congrats to all my old friends, FG, Boz, ironone but one question... where the $%&@ did you find this image? [img]http://www.wonkydonky.net/images/elephantbuttmacyfloat.jpg[/img] [/quote] That's from the ropes course we now include as part of mm training. Edited November 1, 2011 by Mr Vicarious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Custodian Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 [quote name='wickedj' timestamp='1320182342' post='2836703'] congrats to all my old friends, FG, Boz, ironone but one question... where the $%&@ did you find this image? [/quote] It's clearly irrelephant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D2theMcV Posted November 2, 2011 Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 Just the other morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know! /I, for one, would like to welcome our new parade balloon overlords! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcturus Jefferson Posted November 2, 2011 Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 Condolences to the elected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DemonSpawn Posted November 2, 2011 Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 Congrats on a fine looking Gov!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.