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Tabloid Tribune #161


Sir Paul

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[color=red][b]The Tabloid Tribune[/color]
One Step Ahead of the Truth[/b]
Since September 2003

[i]Issue #161 - World Edition[/i]

[img]http://i52.tinypic.com/15z2tex.png[/img]
__________

Dear FAN,

I know you’re getting up there in years, what with having your nation rulers attain the highest median age of any alliance, but I know if we work together, we can spark those misfiring neurons that reside in those old skulls full of mush. You recently wrote a [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=97791]rambling letter[/url] to us about why you decided to join the Doomhouse bandwagon and genuflect at the feet of the toadstool throne. To quote your statement (emphasis mine):

[quote name='mpol']As you might have guessed FAN doesn't like you very much. I doubt that's any kind of surprise. You haven't done anything to change that. Yes, VietFAN was about 2-4 years ago (depending on if you go from the start or the end), but expecting folks to "just get over it" isn't exactly a winning policy. We're not the "just get over it" types. [b]In all those years we haven't heard a peep out of you. Not so much as a Christmas card.[/b] For folks that are jabbering on about a lack of politics, that's as lacking as you can get.[/quote]

I’d like to remind you that there actually was a Pacifican Policy of détente toward FAN and we actually made some progress. We didn’t send a Christmas Card, we sent our !@#$@#$ Emperor on January 14, 2010:

[quote name='Cortath']Greetings. I am Cortath, the Emperor of the New Pacific Order. As my alliance re-establishes relations with alliances in the wake of what we call the Armageddon War, my eyes turned to FAN. I do not know many of you and you do not know me.[/quote]

We actually had some very frank discussions, discussions which apparently you threw down the memory hole. I believe progress was being made, but there were two points of contention that kept coming up, notably that Dilber and Moo were still involved in the alliance. We stated that Dilber wasn’t around much (he wasn’t) and Moo was a retired emperor fiddling with his radio (he was). Dilber dropped in to say howdy for a few days which happened to be when the hacking happened that leaked some privileged forums. You called shenanigans and closed the embassy.

We tried again in May. Here’s something posted from Ambassador Jack Tarr:

[quote name='Jack Tarr']Please be advised that we have reopened the NPO Consulate on our Embassy Forums.

Now that we both know how good it feels to be "free at last", perhaps we can look toward the future rather than the past.[/quote]

Now Grandpa, as your stalwart former Pacifican Jack Tarr can tell you, Dilber is no longer a member of the Order and Moo is not currently an active member of government. We’ve attempted in good faith to move forward, and apparently your man wasn’t serving kool-aid but !@#$%^&*.

As to the future, I’ll tell you the same thing I told VE: I’m not in hate with you. Quite frankly, there are not enough graves on earth hold all those who’ve wronged me, so with respect to FAN, we’ve decided to move on and do our best to help you along with that as well. You got involved with a rough crowd and it feels like 2006 again, riding around on your Harley, hassling shopkeepers and smashing mailboxes, but you just look silly. If you want to get off of this bandwagon and stop with the !@#$%^&*, I’m willing to let bygones be bygones. If you want to continue this, that’s your business, but I’ll leave you with the words of delsolid.

[quote name='delsolid']The reality is that FAN is enjoying it's second, and last, chance to be an accepted and respected alliance in CN. We realize this and we understand how we got to this point. CN saw us as a rabid dog that needed to be taken care of. <snip> If we go to war with each other, regardless of the stated CB, it will be seen by all as the two rabid dogs fighting again, proving that the second chances we were both given were a waste. If we go to war again we will both be damned by the entirity of CN and coupled with neither side willing to surrender our war will effectively be to the death. We may roll around grappling with each other for 10 years but as far as CN is concerned we will both be irrelevant and they will go on without us.[/quote]

You have a nice night mpol. One day it might be nice if you post some gun pr0n you shot yourself. Just include a little something so we know you’re just not pulling images off the internet.

Love,

The Reformed Pacifican Menace
[img]http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/6465/firearmflag.png[/img]
__________

[b]Plan B: The Order’s Prepare for the Inevitable[/b]
[URL=http://img833.imageshack.us/i/planbr.png/][IMG]http://img833.imageshack.us/img833/5421/planbr.png[/IMG][/URL]
[i]After Polar and Pacifica are wiped from Bob, where will they go?[/i]

[b]NPO Offices, Northern California[/b]: With Doomhouse having a stated objective of removing the Pacificans from the Game, and the Viridians and allies doing their best to remove Polaris, members of the gaming community have begun to turn their thoughts to what to do after they are forced to leave. As a courtesy to the Orders, the Mushroom Media Ménage will investigate alternative places for these outcasts to go that will hopefully have a narrative as striking as the Cyberverse.

[u]Starcraft[/u]: This is a real-time strategy game set in the distant future where noble guardians of the galaxy seek to maintain order against an unholy spawn bent on the destruction of all life. Playing as the Protoss, Pacificans, from their homeworld of Aiur, scions of the creator, seek to maintain order within the Koprulu Sector. After a schism, some Protoss known as the Dark Templar (Polaris) left Aiur and established a homeworld on Shakuras where they two Protoss groups lived independently of each other. However, they are not alone in the Galaxy, as voracious Zerg rampage across the Koprulu Sector, seeking to end all sentient life. The Protoss use their fleets to purify worlds infected by the Zerg virus, but the Terrans, failing to understand the Zerg threat, attack the Protoss, believing them to be the biggest threat in the Galaxy. The Protoss stop purifying planets and fight face-to-face against the nihilistic Zerg, with some forward-thinking Terrans as allies, to beat back the threat. Pacificans and Polarians should be able to embrace their roles as the first born split by schism, and relish in destruction of hated invaders.

[u]Minecraft[/u]: A first-person survival-horror game with city building features, the Pacificans build and create Francograd, the capital of the Order, and defend it from zombies who seek to overrun it. Working together against a mindless horde, the Pacificans will be able to build on their rich history and realize the various renderings and maps of the Capital City, while still being able to enjoy combat. In addition, they will continue to have an element of betrayal and sabotage which is a constant in the community. Is the new recruit a comrade, or a sleeper agent of the Mushroom Kingdom? Let the wrong person into Francograd and months of work and progress will be destroyed! It’s the must-play game for anyone missing the NPO experience.

[u]Government[/u]: Found in the real world at the local, regional, and national level, Government is a game where members of the Orders can run their own jurisdiction, allocate resources, conduct wars, and crush their enemies. The persistent nature of Government should appeal to these players, and since some of them have been running nations for seven years, running a nearby small town should be a breeze. With ready-made slogans, a sharp communications department, and policy wonks to back them up, expect to see Pacifican and Polarian candidates enhancing the Order of their communities by sitting on your planning commissions, drafting healthcare reform legislation, and declaring war on Canada. By the way, Archon, I know about your non-conforming Gazebo. Step down and acknowledge the true King or I’ll have code enforcement so far up your ass you’ll need a variance to take a bowel movement.
-----
Written by Sir Paul
The Tabloid Tribune - One step ahead of the Truth
Magnificently a module of MMM
__________
[b]A Clarification from the King of the Mushroom Kingdom[/b]
[img]http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/103/goldenmushroom.jpg[/img]
[i]A message from his Majesty[/i]

Dear World,

My loyal subject Azaghul recently wrote a treatise on the [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=97781]Doctrine of War[/url], and while I admire his penmanship, his conclusions misrepresent Mushroom Policy and I believe it is best for me to set the record straight.

Azaghul states that before Karma, the evil NPO had its boot to the world’s throat and was strangling the life-force out of it through censorship, one-sided curb stomps, excessive reparations, shady [i]causes bellis[/i], and the like. Karma, of course, “rectified” the situation by creating a multi-polar world of light reparations, free speech, and just war. Indeed, that was the problem: us lolzy alliances simply don’t have the patience to play it straight. Indeed, in Azaghul’s own words “Lennox did us all the favor of trying to manufacture a CB to get it moving, and VE took advantage of what Lennox did.” If the Karma coalition is looking for a cubstomp, we will simply manufacture a CB to make one happen. While we continue to state that we are looking for a “fair fight” or “close war” after day one, we triumphantly declared the war a foregone conclusion and brought in more NS than NpO had with enough in reserve should Legion or Pacifica became involved (the real target, by the way).

What really upsets us, however, is when people don’t play along. You see, Azaghul notes that “MK and NPO haven't shied from needling each other. A big war was on the horizon.” You would think that freedom of speech means that you don’t get rolled for speaking out on the Open World Forum, especially if you don’t spy or attack anyone, but that is what I like to call a lie. Verbally needling the Mushroom Kingdom will result in us rolling you. There is no freedom of speech here: we simply add your alliance to the target list and will roll you, again, in Azaghul’s words “without a CB.” The Pacificans would not go to war until they had, at minimum, their tech ratios back up to their pre-Karma levels, but we simply can’t wait that long. We’re doing our best to ensure that the NPO will never have the opportunity for anything resembling a fair fight, and we will do what is necessary to ensure our dominance over this world.

Azaghul states that another part of Karma was creating a multi-polar world. Indeed, we cancelled our treaties and left Complaints and Grievances to create competing blocks. What Azaghul fails to understand is that these blocks will always fight on the side of the Kingdom. Why does C&G require that those defeated in the Polar war are forbidden from joining the Pacifican war? Because they work for us. I mean, GOONS attack NPO with NO REASON, Legion has an MDP with NPO and all of C&G hits Legion to protect the sovereignty of the GOONS? If C&G was an independent block, they would talk to the NPO to get peace for GOONS and have them call off their allies. But C&G is simply an extension of the Kingdom so my steward Archon is having them hit Legion. Also consider MHA: if they were independent, they would probably realize that Doomhouse is trophy hunting and they’ve got “next” written all over them. But because they are a vassal of the Kingdom, they’ll use their arms to undermine their own position and strengthen ours.

In summary, I would like to state that the Kingdom thanks its vassal-states for continuing to support the existing unipolar world with the Mushroom Kingdom at its center. We also are enjoying the curb-stomps of several alliances who spoke out against my steward Archon, and all those who fail to support the Kingdom in this current endeavor to drive the Orders from the land shall meet a similar fate.

Nemo me impune lacessit,


King Paul
Senior Industrial Regent and Pretender to the Toadstool Throne
__________

[b]Back By Popular Demand: Sing-along War Reports![/b]
[img]http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/9711/emperorspeak.jpg[/img]
[i]Heaven shall help us in our sacred work[/i]

[b]FRANCOGRAD, New Pacific Order[/b]: The Office of the Imperial Clerk has teamed up with the Mushroom Media Ménage to bring you a new series of Sing-Along War Reports. These were incredibly popular during the Karma conflict, and now with a brand-new conflict comes a brand-new series. Enjoy!

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjI8T4ULE4A]Y7.T2.01 – The Stand[/url]: February 4, 2011
-----
Written by Sir Paul
The Tabloid Tribune – One Step Ahead of the Truth
Magnificently a module of MMM
__________

[b]CNAA LIVE FEB 27![/b]
[img]http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/9655/academyawardsbw.jpg[/img]
[i]The Admins are coming… Are you ready?[/i]

[b]FRANCOGRAD, New Pacific Order[/b]: On Sunday, February 27th, the CN glitterati will descend upon the City of Francograd for the 2nd Annual Cybernations Academy Awards. The secret panel is working diligently to create a ceremony that will transcend war and peace into the sublime. Nominations will be known on the 14th, and voting by the Academy will happen thereafter to determine who is the best.

NOTE: Due to the recent bombing of Francograd, if you are unable to attend, there will be a IRC room set up so you may be present virtually to accept your award. That said, if you don’t show up, you’re a wuss.
-----
Written by Sir Paul
The Tabloid Tribune – One Step Ahead of the Truth
Magnificently a module of MMM

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[quote name='Sir Paul' timestamp='1297052369' post='2623204']
Is the new recruit a comrade, or a sleeper agent of the Mushroom Kingdom? Let [s]the wrong person [/s] [u][b]Cager[/b][/u] into Francograd and months of work and progress will be destroyed! It’s the must-play game for anyone missing the NPO experience.
[/quote]

Guys guys guys. I DO SO BELIEVE that recognition is due where recognition is due. And right here is where some recognition is due. I wonder how many more times I can say that. Regardless of the fact I had a great time with "The NPO Minecraft Experience" so much so that I'd like to do tours and possibly sit on the board of advisory for building planning. When I was in there last I saw some buildings that didn't meet MK regulations and I had to act and remedy the situation. I'd like to assist Pacifica in restructuring Francograd for when we have our victory parade there.

You can reach me any time.

Edited by Cager
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[quote name='Steve Buscemi' timestamp='1297053682' post='2623252']
Wow, you guys are getting desperate. More than one long boring propaganda piece a week now. [url="http://www.essaygenerator.com/]Here's a link to save you some time and embarrassment.[/url]
[/quote]
I assume you didn't bother to read it.

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[quote name='Sir Paul' timestamp='1297052369' post='2623204']
We actually had some very frank discussions, discussions which apparently you threw down the memory hole. I believe progress was being made, but there were two points of contention that kept coming up, notably that Dilber and Moo were still involved in the alliance. We stated that Dilber wasn't around much (he wasn't) and Moo was a retired emperor fiddling with his radio (he was). Dilber dropped in to say howdy for a few days which happened to be when the hacking happened that leaked some privileged forums. You called shenanigans and closed the embassy.[/quote]

I'm not FAN obviously, but I have to say I agree with them, I even think they are too forgiving, there are some other names that should be added to the list. but obviously those two were big. Those two may not be government anymore, but they are still sheltered and honoured (in Dilbers case, until he left, voluntarily) by you and it leaves an observer with every reason to believe you dont really think it was so wrong about what they did. As has every pathetic mumbling that you wanted to pretend was an apology. You spin war crimes as errors in judgement or strategic mis-steps then act surprised when your victims (at least the fraction of us that are still around) dont feel like forgiving you? The rules of the forum wont let me even begin to state my honest reaction to that.

Most people would say I am fighting on your side right now, since most people are insisting on treating the two wars going on as one. But make no mistake, I may be defending Polaris, because Viridia was too crude and too arrogant to leave me any other choice, and I may even agree with quite a few of your other observations, but I am still cheering for FAN here.

Edited by Sigrun Vapneir
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[quote name='Sir Paul' timestamp='1297052369' post='2623204']

As to the future, I’ll tell you the same thing I told VE: I’m not in hate with you. Quite frankly, there are not enough graves on earth hold all those who’ve wronged me, so with respect to FAN, we’ve decided to move on and do our best to help you along with that as well. You got involved with a rough crowd and it feels like 2006 again, riding around on your Harley, hassling shopkeepers and smashing mailboxes, but you just look silly. If you want to get off of this bandwagon and stop with the !@#$%^&*, I’m willing to let bygones be bygones. If you want to continue this, that’s your business, but I’ll leave you with the words of delsolid.

[quote name='DelSolid (Bad JuJu)']
The reality is that FAN is enjoying it's second, and last, chance to be an accepted and respected alliance in CN. We realize this and we understand how we got to this point. CN saw us as a rabid dog that needed to be taken care of. <snip> If we go to war with each other, regardless of the stated CB, it will be seen by all as the two rabid dogs fighting again, proving that the second chances we were both given were a waste. If we go to war again we will both be damned by the entirety of CN and coupled with neither side willing to surrender our war will effectively be to the death. We may roll around grappling with each other for 10 years but as far as CN is concerned we will both be irrelevant and they will go on without us.[/quote]
[/quote]

While it's interesting that you quote DelSolid (Bad JuJu to the CN forum people), it's FAR MORE INTERESTING to show what you removed from the post that the above was taken from.

[quote name='DelSolid (Bad JuJu)']
Thank you for coming by Cortath.

After our past history, I believe that we can all agree on 3 things:

1. If NPO and FAN find themselves in another war it will be to "the death"
2. NPO is in CN for the long haul
3. FAN is in CN for the long haul as well

So our next conflict (if it happens) will be never-ending and IMO it will prevent both of us from reaching our potentials for the remainder of the [ooc]game[/ooc] (we both lose).

[b]With that said, I have zero belief in NPO's ability to "move on" from our past conflict. This is based not only on our past history with NPO but also on NPO's historical dealings with other alliances.[/b]

Both Jack and MrSmyth have both said it and I will reiterate it as well, how, after NPO's actions in the past, can a run of the mill FAN member believe that NPO will ever let bygones be bygones? What could FAN do to convince NPO members that the past is the past and we are not going about all our stockpiling for an attack on you 15 minutes before your terms expire? [b]As long as both sides mistrust each other as much as we do then our future prospects are quite dim.[/b]

I personally would like to see us move past this into a new future but that's simply not going to happen unless we get some trust going, and in all honesty I can't fathom how that's going to happen.

But I'm open to ideas.
[/quote]

[quote name='DelSolid (Bad JuJu)']
My point #1 is meant to express the fact that if another war between FAN and NPO breaks out neither side will give up. FAN has already learned that surrendering to NPO is pointless and if your existing terms simply lead to another war with FAN then you will hold the same opinion of us. And lets be honest, the only reason our past war was ended was due entirely to outside pressure. If not for the Karma war we would still be happily at each others throats slashing and biting. The original reason for the war is still very much unresolved.

[color=red]FAN is currently enjoying it's second, and possibly last chance to be an accepted and respected alliance in CN. We realize this and we understand how we got to this point. CN saw us as a rabid dog that needed to be taken care of.[/color] I wont argue the validity of this point as it is the perception of the CN community that matters not the reality and I accept that that was their view of us (at least a majority). Every day of our lives are now spent showing CN that we are not the rabid dogs that we were branded as and we do deserve the support they have shown us. But we also understand that if we do something stupid then it will simply prove that we are still crazy, dangerous and rabid and should have been put down permanently.

[b]The real question is if NPO realizes it is in the exact same position as us, only worse. FAN only "wronged" (again, I am talking perception, not reality) a small group of people where NPO has stood tall as bullies (again, perception) over pretty much the entirety of CN. NPO was easily convicted in the court of public opinion of being a rabid dog and dealt with accordingly. By the grace of CN you were finally given conditional peace and you are working within that framework. Every day of your future will be scrutinized for signs of the rabies coming back and if it does you will be dealt with swiftly by a vast coalition regardless of your treaties. The rank and file members of CN will demand it.[/b]

You see, we are both on a tightrope and can both look forward to tighter scrutiny than anyone else is forced to endure.

[color=red]If we go to war with each other, regardless of the stated CB, it will be seen by all as the two rabid dogs fighting again, proving that the second chances we were both given were a waste. If we go to war again we will both be damned by the entirety of CN and coupled with neither side willing to surrender our war will effectively be to the death. We may roll around grappling with each other for 10 years but as far as CN is concerned we will both be irrelevant and they will go on without us.[/color]

[b]If one or both of us see this war as inevitable then the preemptive first strike comes into play and may even seem to be the "purely practical" thing to do.[/b]
[/quote]

[quote name='DelSolid (Bad JuJu)']
[b]First, I want to be perfectly honest. The typical FAN member is pretty much positive that NPO has not changed at all. Seeing names like Dilber, Vladimir, Umbrae, Mary in the highest positions of your government pretty much kills the “we are different” argument. Saying Moo is essentially gone but having him idling in #NSA makes us think twice about everything we hear.[/b]

Despite my [ooc]in-game[/ooc] antics, [b]I am probably the closest thing FAN has to a dove and even I don’t trust the NPO. I want to trust you but I also want to believe in Santa Claus. Sadly, In both cases, reason has led me to believe otherwise.[/b] In the past I have trusted you. I was in the government that offered the only FAN surrender in the history of the Alliance. As we all know, it didn't end well despite having NPO's word that it would.

[b]In short, the burden of proof rests on your shoulders. You placed it there yourself since the last time we had an agreement NPO broke it spectacularly. Consequently, we don't give NPO's word much weight (actually zero) and right now that's all you offer.[/b] I know it was not YOUR word that was broken in the past. But since I don't know you I have to make my judgments based on the company you keep.

I understand your reasoning and agree with it, If I believed you, But I can't. Not without something more substantial than your word.

After idling in #FAN I am sure that all of you are aware of the common FAN members feelings towards you and your trustworthiness. That is a real shame because I remember a time when we would have charged the gates of hell for each other. That's how much damage NPO's past actions have caused to our relationship.

I am not telling you this to bust your balls (figuratively speaking Applesauce) I am simply putting it out in the open because it’s the reality of our situation. As a peace negotiator for FAN, I remember what it was like to try to build a bridge to an alliance who we had been at war with and who possessed no faith at all in our ability to be trustworthy. It’s a damn tough row to hoe. But even with all those alliances, none of them approached the difficulties that exist between our two alliances.

Now, with that said, if you have a plan to build some sort of bridge, no matter how small, between NPO and FAN then I'm all ears.
[/quote]

I have added the highlights to show the more interesting things left out of NPO's propaganda (red).

Those three posts were written to NPO on January 15-17, 2010. Over a year ago. I think they were very clear and the selective editing done in this OP is also very clear....

FAN went into those talks honestly and openly. We made the seriousness of the FAN-NPO situation as plain as humanly possible and clearly said, multiple times, that unless extraordinary efforts were made in rebuilding the mutual trust then we would surely find ourselves back at war. No serious effort was made. It wasn't even close.

Note: I added the [ooc] and [/ooc] tags in a couple places in the above quotes to keep thinks OK around here.

Edited by Jocko Homo
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[quote name='Jocko Homo' timestamp='1297056377' post='2623412']
While it's interesting that you quote DelSolid (Bad JuJu), it's FAR MORE INTERESTING to show what you removed from the post that the above was taken from.

Take special note of the last sentence. Those two posts were written to NPO on January 15, 2010. Over a year ago. I think they were very clear and the selective editing done in this OP is also very clear....
[/quote]
While interesting and informing, nothing in there really contradicts what was said in the article. It wasn't relevant to his point, why would he need to include the whole thing? Should he just dump the whole embassy while he's at it?

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[quote name='Locke' timestamp='1297057224' post='2623487']
While interesting and informing, nothing in there really contradicts what was said in the article. It wasn't relevant to his point, why would he need to include the whole thing? Should he just dump the whole embassy while he's at it?
[/quote]

You are correct, it wasn't relevant to [i]his[/i] point, which was to disseminate propaganda. It was however relevant to the truth. :v:

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[quote name='Sigrun Vapneir' timestamp='1297055156' post='2623333']
I'm not FAN obviously, but I have to say I agree with them, I even think they are too forgiving, there are some other names that should be added to the list. but obviously those two were big. Those two may not be government anymore, but they are still sheltered and honoured (in Dilbers case, until he left, voluntarily) by you and it leaves an observer with every reason to believe you dont really think it was so wrong about what they did. As has every pathetic mumbling that you wanted to pretend was an apology. You spin war crimes as errors in judgement or strategic mis-steps then act surprised when your victims (at least the fraction of us that are still around) dont feel like forgiving you? The rules of the forum wont let me even begin to state my honest reaction to that.

Most people would say I am fighting on your side right now, since most people are insisting on treating the two wars going on as one. But make no mistake, I may be defending Polaris, because Viridia was too crude and too arrogant to leave me any other choice, and I may even agree with quite a few of your other observations, but I am still cheering for FAN here.
[/quote]
That's crap. You expect Pacifica to expel two of it's past Emperors or something? Pacifica apologized for their actions, as did Dilber and Moo. To expect that NPO would throw them to the dogs to win favour with anyone is ridiculous. Would you have sacrificed Mpol for NoR/NoV?

And war crimes? Come on mang, are you the next ShinRa or something? Going to start raving about genocide and death camps soon?

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[quote name='Jocko Homo' timestamp='1297058301' post='2623571']
You are correct, it wasn't relevant to [i]his[/i] point, which was to disseminate propaganda. It was however relevant to the truth. :v:
[/quote]
Sir Paul is one step ahead of the truth. At least.

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[quote name='WorldConqueror' timestamp='1297058665' post='2623590']
That's crap. You expect Pacifica to expel two of it's past Emperors or something? [b]Pacifica apologized for their actions, as did Dilber and Moo.[/b] To expect that NPO would throw them to the dogs to win favour with anyone is ridiculous.
[/quote]

Can you please cite your references for this statement please? :ehm:

Because if you are stating that Pacifica and Dilber and Moo have each apologized to FAN, and that is who Sigrun Vapneir was clearly talking about, then I suspect that you sir are telling an untruth.

Edited by Jocko Homo
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