GOONS Announcement

[Sardonic]

[Center] [IMG]http://i203.photobucket.com/albums/aa157/flipsigs/getout.png[/img]
[size="6"]Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence, and Sadism [/size][/center]

On this day we mark the crossing of many milestones.

We have grown to [url=http://www.cybernations.net/stats_alliance_stats_custom.asp?Alliance=Goon%20Order%20of%20Oppression%20Negligence%20and%20Sadism]Two Million NS[/url]. Our population of dedicated individuals insures that we will continue to grow, and rapidly. Our growth was boosted considerably by nexus' merger into us.

Following the "departure" of salithus, we have filled his vacancy, and the vacancy created by that vacancy and so on. Long story short, the following positions have been filled.

Strategos: Nippy
Secretariat: Ktarthan
Council: JamezBFod
Council: DarkSol (Choson)

We have also moved IRC channels on coldfront, we are now in #Cybergoons on coldfront, rather than #cngoons.

We would like to give a special thanks to TOP for paying for Methrage's crimes. The 90m will buy him freedom from us (upon completion of the payments). He will be free, at least until he sends aid to our enemies/flat out rogues us, anyway. Moreover, we thank you for the excellent oppertunity to test our revamped reparation collection system.

After taking full command of the alliance, having disposed of the traitor, salithus, I turned my eyes to the charter. I found that really we had not even been close to following it. It was a relic from a bygone age. Today we mark a new standard. No longer a charter, we recognize the newly drafted and ratified constitution:
[quote]
[center][b][size=6]Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence, and Sadism Constitution[/size][/b][/center]
[b][size=5]Preamble[/size][/b]
[i] We the People of GOONS, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish injustice, insure domestic Hilarity, provide for the common offense, promote the general Warfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posteriors, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence, and Sadism.
[/i]
[b][size=5]Articles[/size][/b]
[list type=decimal]
[*][b][size=4]Admission & Membership.[/size][/b]
To join GOONS you must satisfy the following conditions:
1) You aren't on anyone's hit list (silent s optional on the first word)
2) You are not at war with anybody
3) You are not irredeemably terrible
The Newbie Wrangler is the arbiter of who may or may not join, however, full government members are able to overrule his decisions.

GOONS is not for everyone. Side effects include occasional bouts of sarcasm, loss of boredom, frequent swearing, and persistent erections lasting more than 4 hours (not guaranteed). If you have been diagnosed with taking yourself too seriously, sense of humor deficiency, or persistent screaming nerdrage, consult a doctor before joining GOONS.

[*][b][size=4]Government[/size][/b]
[b][size=3]Organization[/size][/b]
[b][size=2]Pilot [/size][/b]
The Pilot is the ultimate moral, spiritual, and temporal authority in GOONS. If he says jump, we say how high. If he says poop, we ask what color. He is ultimate commander of GOONS. Documents signed by the Pilot are considered to be the policy of GOONS unless countermanded by him directly. He may overrule any other member of the GOONS government. The Pilot has the ability to appoint any position below him if it becomes vacant (including aides), and remove anybody from government who is judged to not be acting in GOONS' best interests.

[b][size=2]Co-Pilot [/size][/b]
The Co-Pilot is to the Pilot what a Prime Minister is to a president. Unless you're Irish or Russian. In the absence of the Pilot, he speaks with the voice of the Pilot, and is second signatory on all GOONS declarations and treaties. He can overrule any member of the government other than the Pilot. The Co-pilot can appoint assistants and government aides.

[b][size=2]Secretariat[/size][/b]
The Secretariat acts as director of foreign affairs and coordinating and recruiting diplomats. The secretariat cannot unilaterally sign treaties of any kind, however, he can write and propose them to the rest of the government. The secretariat designs the overall diplomatic direction of the alliance with the consent of the pilot and co-pilot. The Secretariat may, at his discretion and with the agreement of the Pilot or Co-Pilot, appoint up to two government-level assistants.

[b][size=2]Strategos[/size][/b]
The Strategos acts as director of war and war preparation, including administering the GOONS military structure, organizing military aid, running readiness drills, developing war tactics and strategy, and raising morale. The Strategos may, at his discretion and with the agreement of the Pilot or Co-Pilot, appoint up to two government-level assistants. He may also appoint company commanders and remove them if they are in dereliction of their duty, with the permission of the Pilot or Co-Pilot.

[b][size=2]GOONS council[/size][/b]
The council consists of four members. The four members who are for all intents and purposes general government. The council's primary job is to assist the other government with the operation of the alliance, paying special heed to the membership through the forums and IRC. Council members may engage in diplomacy but should not make contentious decisions unilaterally.

[b][size=2]Members Emeritus[/size][/b]
A government Member Emeritus is someone who has performed sterling service to GOONS in this or another game, and is such given an advisory position over the fate of GOONS. To be a Member Emeritus, you must have served in GOONS government. Emeritus status will be denied if you are terrible. This status is given by nomination from Pilot or Co-Pilot, upon completion of term.

[b][size=2]Non-Positional Access[/size][/b]
From time to time GOONS government may decide to allow people with no official job or position into the government area. These members are to give input about issues facing GOONS, but have no voting rights. Access may be revoked or granted at will by a consensus of government, or Pilot/Co-Pilot decision.

[b][size=2]Governmental Assistants [/size][/b]
Governmental assistants have access to the governmental section. They are created for specific purposes by the Strategos and Secretariat. Assistants should have a formal title and answer to the person directly above them. Assistants can also be appointed by the Pilot and Co-Pilot.

[b][size=2]Governmental Aides [/size][/b]
Government aides are elected or appointed to help their higher-gov counterparts. They have a special forum and are allowed to know more about situations as they develop.

[size=2][b]Sexretariat[/b]: Assists the Secretariat[/size]
[size=2][b]High War Adjudicator[/b]: Gives mercy to our enemies on the mercy board, if certain "conditions" are met.[/size]
[size=2][b]Dongmaster[/b]: Keeps track of aid[/size]
[size=2][b]Newbie Wrangler[/b] : Concentrates on masking, training [/size]
[size=2][b]Platoon Leaders[/b]: Lead individual platoons, manage squad leaders. [/size]

[b][size=3]Petition rights[/size][/b]
There will always be a private subforum on the GOONS boards that only members of GOONS can see. Any member can post there and raise any issue they wish, and the Government commit to discussing any matter that the membership raise. Unless the person raising the matter is trolling or just being a jerk. If the government do not get back to the membership when a legitimate question is asked, the member asking the question has permission to kick one (1) government member in the jimmy. (or if the government member is female, in the jenny).
[*][b][size=4]Governmental Appointments and Elections[/size][/b]
The primary method of replacing governmental vacancies will be appointment. If a suitable appointee cannot be found an election will be held. Elections may also be held if the Pilot and Co-Pilot believe somebody is not fulfilling their duties to the fullest, but do not want to outright remove them.
If a government member resigns with dignity (read: doesn't delete the forums, post gross) they are allowed to appoint their successor, if they do not wish to appoint somebody, an election is held automatically.

[*][b][size=4]Trade and aid.[/size][/b]
GOONS members have a reasonable expectation that their government will assist them in finding a trade circle and in finding tech deals either as a buyer or a seller. While the government commits to making every effort in these situations, they will not and cannot guarantee any particular result.
In situations where another GOONS member is in need, GOONS may be called upon to make reasonable donations of aid, military and otherwise, to worthy causes.

[*][b][size=4]Foreign Relations.[/size][/b]
[b][size=3]Tech Raiding[/size][/b]
In times of peace, GOONS recognize the sovereignty and security of other alliances. An "alliance" is defined as a group of 15 or more. Smaller groups are recognized by the presence of diplomatic ties. Exceptions may be made both for smaller groups we wish to recognize and larger groups we do not, should the government so decide.

Unaligned nations are not afforded the protection given to alliance members, and may be attacked at the discretion of individual GOONS members. Should a GOONS member bite off more than he can chew and get beaten up while attacking an unaligned nation, he does not have an expectation of backup from other nation, unless the beating up comes from members of a recognized alliance, in which case this may be taken as an act of war on their behalf.

[b][size=3]Treaties[/size][/b]
Treaties with other alliances, of non-aggression, optional defense, mutual defense, and other forms, may be drafted by the Secretariat, but should not be considered binding on the side of GOONS unless signed by the Pilot or, in his absence, the Co-Pilot.

[b][size=3]Wartime[/size][/b]
While GOONS will endeavor to maintain peaceful relations with all recognized alliances (except FEAR), they accept that there are times when diplomacy must be continued by other means.

Should GOONS be called upon to make war upon another alliance, either by unilateral decision, or through treaty obligation, war will be declared following either a majority vote of the government, or decision of the Pilot.

[b][size=3]Enemy of GOONS (EoG)[/size][/b]
Should a nation, either in a war or outside of a declared war, commit actions considered heinous and reprehensible to GOONS, the government reserves the right to declare this nation an Enemy Of GOONS, at which point their name will be added to the Enemies Of GOONS list, and they may be attacked at will by GOONS members. Common offenses that may cause EoG status are military violence against a GOONS nation outside of war, military aid to an enemy of GOONS, and continued and incessant provocation. The Pilot and Co-Pilot may unanimously add or remove names from the EoG list, or names may be added by majority vote of the Government. The list of Enemies will be in a public part of our forum, and those on our Enemies list are permitted to petition the High War Adjudicator. Removal is not in any way guaranteed, indeed assumption of removal may be used as grounds to keep someone on the list. The expectation is for the petitioner to explain why they should be granted clemency, and for the petitioner to entertain GOONS.

[*][b][size=4]Operational Security[/size][/b]
Spying is absolutely forbidden in GOONS. Any nation found to be transmitting secure information on GOONS out of the alliance will be removed immediately and placed on the EoG list.

[*][b][size=4]Amendments[/size][/b]
The charter can be amended at any time for any reason by the GOONS government. Such a change may only be done by the Pilot and a majority vote of the government.

[*][b][size=4]Spoilers[/size][/b]
Verbal Kint is Keyser Sose
Rosebud is a sled
Bruce Willis is a ghost and only Haley Joel Osment can see him.
Jean Loring killed Sue Dibney
Tim Robbins died in Vietnam, and the rest of the movie is him hallucinating as he dies.
Brad Pitt's wife's head is in the box
Everybody at the motel is a personality in the killer's head
Edward Norton's character is also Tyler Durden
The kind medical technician is the serial killer because he's mad at Denzel Washington.
Jason Vorhees is actually his grief stricken mother
Mr Orange is an undercover cop.
[/list]
[/quote]

EDIT:

Also we're protecting Knights of the Old Republic.

Edited May 25, 2010 by Sardonic

[Rebel Virginia]

[color="#0000FF"]This is ridiculous. So you PZIed Methrage and consider it merciful that you would release him for only $90 million. That is just as contemptible as GOD's demand for Kaiser Martens release. Well, soon enough we'll be seeing justice come your way. Remember that you're enacting the same policies as GOONS of old and NPO in its olden days. History has a tendency to repeat itself my friend.

Also, I noticed in your Enemies of GOONS list the phrase "continued and incessant provocation." Please define that for us. If it means what I think it does that implies that you will be sentencing nations to PZI for having and voicing an opinion of your alliance that you do not approve of. If that is the case should I expect you to be coming for me soon?[/color]

Edited May 19, 2010 by Rebel Virginia

[JamezBfod]

I still don't understand why the new GOONS loves frogout so much. But yeah, hooray and all.

[Yevgeni Luchenkov]

To be quite exact, while I'm in TOP, it's not TOP as an alliance but a handful of Methrage's friends that are buying his freedom.

Other than that, congrats to the (s)elected and for the new constitution, GOONS.

[JamezBfod]

[quote name='Rebel Virginia' date='18 May 2010 - 09:42 PM' timestamp='1274233330' post='2302689']
[color="#0000FF"]Blue text[/color]
[/quote]

It's on the to-do list.

[Bob Ilyani]

Congrats on the new charter and growth GOONS.

Edited May 19, 2010 by Bob Ilyani

[Barnaby von Farter]

Who made the picture of the grenade person?

[Rebel Virginia]

[quote name='JamezBfod' date='18 May 2010 - 09:48 PM' timestamp='1274233696' post='2302700']
It's on the to-do list.
[/quote]
[color="#0000FF"]But because I am currently in an alliance that means your afraid you might get some resistance. Anyway, I'd like to know how the rest of the world feels about GOONS saying that it can attack and sentence to PZI people for voicing an opinion. Well, I guess it will be fine in their eyes if it is a person who's opinion they don't like.[/color]

[AAAAAAAAAAGGGG]

TOP just got crappier now that they're accepting Methrage.

[Choson]

[quote name='Rebel Virginia' date='18 May 2010 - 09:42 PM' timestamp='1274233330' post='2302689']
[color="#0000FF"]This is ridiculous. So you PZIed Methrage and consider it merciful that you would release him for only $90 million. That is just as contemptible as GOD's demand for Kaiser Martens release. Well, soon enough we'll be seeing justice come your way. Remember that you're enacting the same policies as GOONS of old and NPO in its olden days. History has a tendency to repeat itself my friend.

Also, I noticed in your Enemies of GOONS list the phrase "continued and incessant provocation." Please define that for us. If it means what I think it does that implies that you will be sentencing nations to PZI for having and voicing an opinion of your alliance that you do not approve of. If that is the case should I expect you to be coming for me soon?[/color[/color]
[/quote]

No, he's on the EoG list, he's attacked some of our alliances' nations. TOP is buying his freedom. They approached us, asked what we would accept as a proper offering to remove him from our EoG list and we told them. They could have easily scoffed at our response and yet, they must have found the terms reasonable enough toe accept them. Regardless if it is "merciful" or not, they accepted our terms and there's nothing contemptible in the whole deal.

"Continued and incessant provocation" means continual and unwarranted attacks on some of our nations as I outlined earlier. It has nothing to do with him having a differing opinion than ours. Consider the fact that he wanted to surrender to us, and that we were willing to give him peace, and yet he wanted to draw up the terms of surrender. Have you ever seen a situation where the loser dictates what they can and cannot concede to the winners?

Edited May 19, 2010 by Choson

[JamezBfod]

[quote name='Rebel Virginia' date='18 May 2010 - 09:51 PM' timestamp='1274233886' post='2302709']
[color="#0000FF"]More blue text.[/color]
[/quote]

I don't even know what alliance you're in anymore. We don't attack people for voicing an opinion. Methrage has many counts against him, you were around for some of them. I do recall you were instrumental in at least two of them.

[Rebel Virginia]

[quote name='Choson' date='18 May 2010 - 09:55 PM' timestamp='1274234094' post='2302719']
No, he's on the EoG list because he's attacked some of our alliances' nations. TOP is buying his freedom. They approached us, asked what we would accept as a proper offering to remove him from our EoG list and we told them. They could have easily scoffed at our response and yet, they must have found the terms reasonable enough toe accept them. Regardless if it is "merciful" or not, they accepted our terms and there's nothing contemptible in the whole deal.
[/quote]
[color="#0000FF"]No, he was placed on your list for aiding a member of the CSA whom he accepted into your alliance. He only began attacking you after you attacked. Regardless while I do not claim you were out of order for demanding some sort of restitution for aiding an enemy, the fact you sentenced him to perpetual war over a measly three million to a small nation is excessive. And the terms you demanded for his release are also excessive. It does not matter if his friends took them. They may not have liked them either but their wanting their friend to have peace clearly outweighed that. Either way, I am not them and I will say that I do not feel Methrage's punishment fit his crime.[/color]

[Barnaby von Farter]

[quote name='Rebel Virginia' date='18 May 2010 - 09:51 PM' timestamp='1274233886' post='2302709']
[color="#0000FF"]But because I am currently in an alliance that means your afraid you might get some resistance. Anyway, I'd like to know how the rest of the world feels about GOONS saying that it can attack and sentence to PZI people for voicing an opinion. Well, I guess it will be fine in their eyes if it is a person who's opinion they don't like.[/color]
[/quote]

You hail from an alliance that operated under the premise that each organization on Planet Bob has the sovereign right to attempt to do whatever they like. A premise that I happen to agree with, to answer your question.

How do you feel about it? You never really said one way or the other.

[Yevgeni Luchenkov]

[quote name='AAAAAAAAAAGGGG' date='18 May 2010 - 09:54 PM' timestamp='1274234060' post='2302717']
TOP just got crappier now that they're accepting Methrage.
[/quote]
I'd expect an Umbrellian Triumvir to know how to read or, at least, verify before he runs his mouth off.

[Choson]

[quote name='Rebel Virginia' date='18 May 2010 - 09:59 PM' timestamp='1274234327' post='2302725']
[color="#0000FF"]No, he was placed on your list for aiding a member of the CSA whom he accepted into your alliance. He only began attacking you after you attacked. Regardless while I do not claim you were out of order for demanding some sort of restitution for aiding an enemy, the fact you sentenced him to perpetual war over a measly three million to a small nation is excessive. And the terms you demanded for his release are also excessive. It does not matter if his friends took them. They may not have liked them either but their wanting their friend to have peace clearly outweighed that. Either way, I am not them and I will say that I do not feel Methrage's punishment fit his crime.[/color]
[/quote]

If he was unwilling to pay the restitution for aiding an enemy, then what would you have us do? Just let him go on his merry way with no sort of punishment? Are we not allowed to mete out justice, a term you are so fond of using, against someone who we have grievances against? If that person is continually belligerent, do we shake their hand and forget that anything happened? Of course not, there were consequences for his actions, and he was given many the opportunity to get off of the EoG list. It is not our fault that he was unwilling to put aside his ego and swallow his pride for a second so that his name could be wiped clean off the slate of our enemies.

[Rebel Virginia]

[quote name='Choson' date='18 May 2010 - 09:55 PM' timestamp='1274234094' post='2302719']
"Continued and incessant provocation" means continual and unwarranted attacks on some of our nations as I outlined earlier. It has nothing to do with him having a differing opinion than ours. Consider the fact that he wanted to surrender to us, and that we were willing to give him peace, and yet he wanted to draw up the terms of surrender. Have you ever seen a situation where the loser dictates what they can and cannot concede to the winners?
[/quote]
[color="#0000FF"]Thank you for that clarification. Although I figured that would have already been covered by the first to stipulations, so was that clause really necessary? It seems to me only to cause confusion.

And Jamez, how was I instrumental? I believe I only traded with Methrage for a moment before I learned he was an enemy of yours. Other than that I only provided him moral support. Is that a crime?[/color]

[Voodoo Nova]

[quote name='Choson' date='18 May 2010 - 10:04 PM' timestamp='1274234654' post='2302733']
It is not our fault that he was unwilling to put aside his ego and swallow his pride for a second so that his name could be wiped clean off the slate of our enemies.
[/quote]

Would GOONS swallow their pride and accept all terms given to them should they surrender to their enemies?

[Choson]

[quote name='Voodoo Nova' date='18 May 2010 - 10:11 PM' timestamp='1274235088' post='2302747']
Would GOONS swallow their pride and accept all terms given to them should they surrender to their enemies?
[/quote]

While I am newly elected to the government, I can not speak for the Pilot or Co-Pilot in issues such as these.

[AtheistRepublican]

Well congrats on the new constitution.

You forgot some spoilers, though.

[Archanis]

[quote name='Rebel Virginia' date='18 May 2010 - 10:07 PM' timestamp='1274234813' post='2302737']
[color="#0000FF"]Thank you for that clarification. Although I figured that would have already been covered by the first to stipulations, so was that clause really necessary? It seems to me only to cause confusion.

And Jamez, how was I instrumental? I believe I only traded with Methrage for a moment before I learned he was an enemy of yours. Other than that I only provided him moral support. Is that a crime?[/color]
[/quote]This thread was not to flamebait. It was to state the many endings to various problems we were dealing with (Methrage, Salithus bailing, etc.). If you feel like you really need to flame us, could you like do it somewhere else? You were hilarious for the first while, but you're kinda just getting annoying now :/.

[Tigerdonia Redux]

Strategos is a sweet position name. Keep on heading upwards, GOONS!

[Omniscient1]

[quote name='Rebel Virginia' date='19 May 2010 - 02:42 AM' timestamp='1274233330' post='2302689']
[color="#0000FF"]This is ridiculous. So you PZIed Methrage and consider it merciful that you would release him for only $90 million. That is just as contemptible as GOD's demand for Kaiser Martens release. Well, soon enough we'll be seeing justice come your way. Remember that you're enacting the same policies as GOONS of old and NPO in its olden days. History has a tendency to repeat itself my friend.

Also, I noticed in your Enemies of GOONS list the phrase "continued and incessant provocation." Please define that for us. If it means what I think it does that implies that you will be sentencing nations to PZI for having and voicing an opinion of your alliance that you do not approve of. If that is the case should I expect you to be coming for me soon?[/color]
[/quote]

another GOONS thread; another RV call out. He is right though. It isn't very nice to PZI people. You may end up pissing off the wrong people.

Anyway back on subject. Congrats on the new charter

Edited May 19, 2010 by Omniscient1

[AAAAAAAAAAGGGG]

[quote name='Yevgeni Luchenkov' date='18 May 2010 - 07:02 PM' timestamp='1274234544' post='2302732']
I'd expect an Umbrellian Triumvir to know how to read or, at least, verify before he runs his mouth off.
[/quote]

So he's not joining TOP? You mean people actually [i]paid money[/i] to release the most mentally unstable person on Planet Bob, and he's not joining the alliance that paid it off?

[Choson]

[quote name='Omniscient1' date='18 May 2010 - 10:17 PM' timestamp='1274235432' post='2302765']
another GOONS thread; another RV call out. He is right though. It isn't very nice to PZI people. You may end up pissing off the wrong people.

Anyway back on subject. Congrats on the new charter
[/quote]

Being on the Enemies of GOONS list is not the same as Perma-Zero Infrastructure. There is no permanence to being on the EoG list. A person can be there as short a time or as long a time as they want.

[Sardonic]

[quote name='Omniscient1' date='18 May 2010 - 09:17 PM' timestamp='1274235432' post='2302765']
another GOONS thread; another RV call out. He is right though. It isn't very nice to PZI people. You may end up pissing off the wrong people.

Anyway back on subject. Congrats on the new charter
[/quote]
That's constitution, not a charter, but thank you.

Also we don't have PZI lists, we merely have a list of targets our members can choose to attack at any time.