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Goon Order of Oppression Negligence and Sadism

GOONS have been plugging along and actually made a friend! After a few nights of debauchery and some excellent contributions to our porn board, Umbrella and GOONS are close friends. Today we celebrate that friendship with an excellent treaty.

umbrellaq.pnglwgoonsflag.jpg

The Pact Made on the Internet

Preamble

Their eyes met at a record company party, or somewhere like that. They fell into fast and uncontrollable love. However, the candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long. Passion turns to anger, and before we could say "whirlwind romance" the whirlwind became a tornado. Photographs of her bruised face shocked the newspapers. Charges were filed. The storybook romance was no longer a storybook, unless the book in question was The Woman Who Walked Into Doors.

The point of this preamble is that Umbrella and GOONS are not Rihanna and Chris Brown.

Articles

  1. Sovereignty
    Umbrella and GOONS are recording artists in their own right. While they may collaborate on duets, they are both entirely entitled to have solo careers, or participate in duets with other people.
  2. Information
    GOONS and Umbrella will text each other all the time, especially if the other needs a heads up. Naked pictures are optional.
  3. Non-Aggression
    Umbrella and GOONS promise not to raise the pimp hand to each other. This includes acts of violence (military aggression), hacking each other's blackberries (spying), or spreading rumors about each other (sharing state secrets). Should either raise the pimp hand, the other is fully within their rights to send photos of the bruises to TMZ. Oh, and cancel the treaty.
  4. Defense
    GOONS and Umbrella have each other's backs. Should anyone start some crap with GOONS, Umbrella promise to honor any request for help. Same goes the other way. If either signatory enters a war through another treaty, this is optional.
  5. Aggression
    Sometimes heads need busting. If this is the case, Umbrella may invite GOONS along to any dust-up they find themselves in, although GOONS don't have to join in if they have other plans. Similarly, if GOONS think someone needs to taste the curb, Umbrella will seriously consider putting the boot in.
  6. Economics
    GOONS and Umbrella will work together to facilitate each other's addictions to tech, money, and mangosteen.
  7. Dignity
    Under no circumstances will Umbrella wear GOONS' panties on their head. GOONS make no such promise.
  8. Timeline- Cancellation
    This treaty will be in effect for 30 days.
    GOONS and Umbrella will decide during this time whether to keep it going or go their separate ways. The decision must be made known at least 48 hours before the treaty expires.
    If a party wishes to cancel before, they must give 48 hours notice, during which the treaty is still in effect.

Signatures

Goon Order of Oppression Negligence and Sadism

salithus, Pilot

Sardonic, Co-Pilot

lamuella, Member Emeritus

TTaagg, Secretariat

Bloodjewel, Strategos

Umbrella

Roquentin, Triumvir

uaciaut, Triumvir

Xavi, Triumvir

Jeoh, High Legate

Also, GOONS have hit several milestones:

  • We held our 1 month anniversary.
  • We reached 500k NS.
  • We held our first election.
  • We issued our first DoW.

Finally, we have implemented an auth system for our bretheren, regardless of alliance affiliation or homeworld, to gain access to our Mom's Basement Secret Club House of Density. Membership privileges include access to the members-only subforum and IRC channel, so come be sociable so we can pretend that people like us and not the snacks our mom makes.

GOONS have been speeding along, and to save people time and effort in our busy fast-paced world, we consider the following opinions to be duly noted and considered:

I dislike your alliance because I believe you to be the old GOONS.

I dislike your alliance because I believe you to be too different from the old GOONS.

I dislike your alliance because of the friendships you have made or haven't made.

I have a strong opinion about the New Pacific Order and think this thread is the best place for it.

I have a grudge dating back to the period before the Unjust War and wish to raise it with you right now.

I have no definite opinion of GOONS, and yet I wish to act as a wise and benevolent voice of reason.

I wish to inform the world that I am withholding judgment on GOONS in such a way as to make it absolutely clear that I am presuming them guilty until proven innocent but I still want to be thought of as objective.

My incredibly important one person alliance is taking a stance on a particular issue that relates to you and I demand you pay me the attention I think I deserve

I have a question about a foreign policy issue that is actually entirely settled, but I am going to assume it is not and make dramatic accusations about what will or will not happen.

A scowling emoticon, the word GOONS, another scowling emoticon

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GOONS have been plugging along and actually made a friend! After a few nights of debauchery and some very, very excellent contributions to our porn board, Umbrella and GOONS are close friends. Today we celebrate that friendship with an excellent treaty.

Fixed that for you.

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I dislike your alliance because I believe you to be the old GOONS.

I dislike your alliance because I believe you to be too different from the old GOONS.

I dislike your alliance because of the friendships you have made or haven't made.

I have a strong opinion about the New Pacific Order and think this thread is the best place for it.

I have a grudge dating back to the period before the Unjust War and wish to raise it with you right now.

I have no definite opinion of GOONS, and yet I wish to act as a wise and benevolent voice of reason.

I wish to inform the world that I am withholding judgment on GOONS in such a way as to make it absolutely clear that I am presuming them guilty until proven innocent but I still want to be thought of as objective.

My incredibly important one person alliance is taking a stance on a particular issue that relates to you and I demand you pay me the attention I think I deserve

I have a question about a foreign policy issue that is actually entirely settled, but I am going to assume it is not and make dramatic accusations about what will or will not happen.

A scowling emoticon, the word GOONS, another scowling emoticon

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We live in Unjust times.

A scowling emoticon, the word GOONS, another scowling emoticon .

I also express this concern. And I don't think that you have noted this duly enough:

A scowling emoticon, the word GOONS, another scowling emoticon

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