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This Week in Pacifica


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Across the world, millions are tuned in--they've been waiting. Truthfully, some have stopped waiting, and while the static continues from their sets, they sit in other rooms perhaps doing dishes, maybe cataloging their stamps, or have gone upstairs to play. Some are silently smiling to themselves, and shaking each others' hands. Others are confused and a little angry.

Then, a crackle. A sputtering that comes into focus, but without an image.

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Good evening, this is Schattenmann.

For some weeks, my detractors have made a glaring point of a lack of Pacifica in this publication. They point to this, and then to non-Pacifican-content's age and submit that what we have here is a failure to publicate.

Tonight, I regret to inform our viewership that TWiP has come to the end of its content. We've drained the reservoir, everything left on the cutting-room floor has been swept up and used already.

For me, this publication with humble beginnings as a joke thread in the Vox Populi government forum that has grown into a Digiterran phenomonon has been a very fun ride, one which I'd wait in line to write, much less read. I am not too humble to say I hope TWiP takes its place alongside the Drama Meter in the memories and hearts of you all.

I thank you, and for the foreseeable future, this is Schattenmann signing off for TWiP.

There is a low humming noise, then nothing . . .

Edited by Schattenmann
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NOT SO FAST, THERE, PACIFICA!

Good evening! I am your host Schattenmann, and this is This !@#$@#$ Week in Pacifica! Here, we're dedicated to bringing you, the people, with the latest giggles to be had at the expense of FrancosSpain's orphan. TWiP is on!

The Jack-somethings Are Calling

Just in case you don't have a TV or were not aware that we've been doing this for 8 or 9 weeks, this week in last week's edition, a Pacifican toadie parroted the party line for us:

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Only to be smote by the the Pacifican adonis:

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Fools indeed. But wait, there's more:

A Triumvir's Dilemma

One might look at the menagerie of foreigners within Pacifica's bounds and think that they're all pretty pets. Trophies and political chesspieces. Some, like Woody, are perfect treaty-brides. Others, like Bilrow, are working their butts off to protect you, my Pacifican comrades, from the terrors in the night--working like a dog.

And, what dog doesn't like a bone? So, this week, when TWiP was not so P, NPO's cyber-sleuth extraordinairre tossed himself one:

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The bone? "TWiP, No Screenshots From Our Forums" at the same time that Gandroff the Jackboot was saying the same, followed by octo-witch MaskofBlue et al, and no doubt that the same was being hailed in the Pacifican channels.

But, wait, there's more.

Bug in Bonnet

Some weeks ago, as part of our continuing coverage of the economic tentacle monster that is ravaging Lady Pacifica, we introduced you to Boss Hogg, FAN tech-scammer and lulz machine.

And, dear friends, sometimes two spies cross in the night.

As the gloating begins, a shadowy figure emerges. A Pacifican banker will recognize him as Captain ASDF, avid techseller.

A viewer of TWiP will recognize him in truth.

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And for those of you who nitpicked Boss Hogg's membership status all to Hell the first time around, this time around you got what you wanted: A full member.

Boss Hogg, tonight, you're a TWiP Patriot.

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Pacifica, tonight is a sad night indeed. As our lower ranks are swamped by the Jarheads hordes, as our applicants are molested by the terrorist riff-raff, even our banks are still not safe. Where is the Emperor? Where is the Council? In a world pulled toward war we too are dragged along, but when we arrive on the great battlefield, we shall already be bleeding.

On this, the 530th day since the declaration of mission accomplished in the FAN territories, I am Schattenmann, signing off.

Edited by Schattenmann
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For what it's worth, I enjoyed it. To be fair, however, I'm not sure TWiP has been around long enough to warrant a spot next to the Drama Meter. But hey, I've been wrong before and I hope I'm not giving it enough credit.

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I am glad that our pressure to bring the P in the TWiP back has ended in success.

Although not much rich in subject always nice to have a publication dedicated to you.

Now when we successfully determined your topic for this week :P, I demand more about Tech Corps for the next edition and how much time they need to service NPO members.

Fight teh powa, love Branimir

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