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TWiP and Tattler Present: Reyne Mordigan's Greatest Hits


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Man, what an ugly banner, good thing my face is here to even it out. No matter. Vox News is concerned more with content than appearance, and tonight we've got it for you!

I'm Schattenmann, regularly of TWiP, and your host for this first installment of Vox News' TWiP-Tattler cooperative broadcast: Reyne Mordigan's Greatest Hits.

Tonight: Contempt, contempt, contempt! for allies, for members, for anything that moves. And all from your favorite well-placed poster-child for an educated electorate: Reyne Mordigan.

We've got a lot of ground to cover, so let's get to it! Vox News is on!

Reyne on TSO

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've heard about the split off of MCXA's disenfranchised former government into The Sweet Oblivion, which used its Continuum connections to get a shotgun protectorate from TOP (TOP is holding the shotgun). Let's look at some of Reyne's chart-toppers brought about by the subject:

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You hear that, Vanguard? $*%@heads indeed! And you, you should be ashaaaaamed, TORN!

Information, in my Democracy?

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More great stuff on how to handle an alliance like a real leader, this time when FoK! told Continuum that a member poll that FoK's president could not overturn (due to its wild popularity) was set to force FoK's withdrawal from Q:

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How to Negotiate Filibuster

Who hasn't been in a guild and come up against that dramabomb--the guildkiller? Looks like we've found her. In this and posts to follow, Reyne expresses very clearly that because she is in charge of Citadel and OG is indispensible, there are some alliances that the other members might as well cross off their wishlists.

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Yeah! Who would want the world's fastest-recovering alliance in their military bloc, anyway? Not me, pfft. Good thing Bob Janova has Reyne to watch out for him.

On Alliance Sovereignty

Unless you're allied to NPO and respect the Moldavi Doctrine, then color choice is one of those things that falls under "sovereignty" (I know, it's alien to many of our viewership.) Looks like Reyne has some thoughts on that too.

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Vanguard--Snakes in the Grass

(sup Crymson)

In this gem, Boondock mentions some far-fetched wish-listers of his own.

Continuing her love-fest for alliances to which she is familar only through this forum, Reyne lets another one fly toward Vanguard, an alliance notable for trolling which other alliance that Reyne is secretly a member of?

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The answer there the Word of the Day: NPO! AHHHHAaahhhhh Ahhhhhhh aaaahhhhhh huh huh.

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Moving on.

Who Spies?

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Clearly, Umbrella's ex-MK members pose the greatest threat to Citadel OPSEC, not other groups of similarly-notorious spies. Umbrella should probably be removed from Citadel, really. That would totally stop threads like this.

Stop Dreaming

At this point, Reyne has already excluded enough alliances from Citadel membership, as long as she has a say in it, to assure the world that Citadel isn't growing ever (excluding a certain 5 people).

Here, Reyne asserts that she is not a NPO toy by stating that if FoK! left the Continuum in order to become a better Citadel alliance, then they can hold their breath and die because she is more loyal than that (to whom?)

The funny thing is that, as a member of the Continuum, Reyne knows as I do, as a member of Vox Populi, that FoK! left due to that little veto-proof thread. So, what's her secret angle? Hint: It's not a secret by this point.

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Sour Grapes

Someone apparently opened a thread to congratulate Gremlins, TOP, and Umbrella for their 2008 growth thinking that as allies, everyone in Citadel would want to celebrate the achievements of these alliances.

How stupid. The guy must not have read much Citadel, other wise he would have seen this one looming a miiiile away. A country mile away.

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Reyne Mordigan: Not everyone's mama. Need advice on how to grow an alliance? Suck it up, punk, mama's got more important allies to troll.

But, I'm curious, if OG signed up for Citadel because they thought it was a bloc for micro-alliances, why did they sign up for Continuum? Did they think it was a bloc for stagnating alliances?

Codex--Not a Sports Timepiece

This is great. This is so wonderful I'm not writing a segway, I'm riding it. All the way to the hee-haw bank. I'm cashing in on OG's support of Gremlin's Codex stand.

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And the finale: How to conduct diplomacy, Reyne Mordigan style:

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Reyne Mordigan: Inter-Alliance Conflict Legal Expert

When Gremlins and TOP declared war on NpO at the same time GGA and Valhalla declared war on Hyperion, they actually thought that they were going to get away with calling it a separate operation. Sorry, guys, maybe you should have used those CBs before Hyperion existed--you know, a full year before the war you used them for.

In either event, the experience left Gremlins (and TOP I guess) with a bad taste in their mouth as they then got to participate in peace terms negotiations withhhhhh their allies in Valhalla and GGA. Basically, the talks started out around "Hurrr, let's PZI the entire gov of every alliance that first strike nukes" and got more dumb from their. It was awful for TOP and Gre, believe me, I read it back in August.

So, since OG, TOP, and Gre are all in Citadel and all in the war, a discussion was bound to happen at some point. Reyne Mordigan was there to stop it.

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And some more random stuff from discussions on the noCB War.

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". . . And for the fact that NPO needs to know everything that goes on in Citadel and I'm happy to deliver. . . "

How to play victim when you're clearly the problem:

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And we're going to wrap it up for Volume I with this loverly piece.

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That's right, it's all Gremlin's fault that Vox Populi likes some things they do. If only they would start expelling their own members when they show a bit of brain activity, or if they would just start EZI'ing Jonathan Brookbank more, or maybe if they would just attack defenseless alliances for giggles, gee willy if Gremlins would just start claiming entire color spheres for themselves instead of moving color spheres to avoid war!

If only Gremlins would make themselves less appetizing to the whole world!

Then, maybe then, Gremlins would be an alliance that Reyne Mordigan could respect!

And that's it for this first volume of Reyne Mordigan's Greatest Hits. As a special promotional offer from Vox News, those who order a hard copy will receive their very own 100% authentic collectible sig:

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That's it for me, be sure to buy a copy of Electron_Sponge's Reyne Mordigan's Greatest Hits, Volume II in the Tattler on newstands this week.

You stay classy, Planet Bob.

Guys!

GUYS!!

I can't believe I forgot to include these. I'm kicking myself in the head!

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Edited by Schattenmann
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This was not cool, usually you are mildly funny and entertaining but singling out people is not cool especially when you know jack about how they really are.

You disappoint me more than ever.

Oh, I think I've gotten to know my subject pretty well. And now everyone else can, too.

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I thought this was This Week in Pacifica not This Week in Reyne -- Bilrow and (OOC: Mary the Fantabulous on Skype)

Edited by Bilrow
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Reyne indeed was upset with our codex, once it was all hammered out, talked about, and how it would effect the Lux, things were good. The citadel boards are not for the weak, we are family and families sometimes fight but we love each other in the end. Reyne is an outstanding member and leader of both Old Guard and of The Citadel.

LiquidMercury

Executor of The Grämlins

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Anyone else notice how Vox Press is not the one making a fool of itself over the past 10 minutes?

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By the looks of the blocked out letters, that person's name is about 6-8 characters long, at the maximum.

That should narrow down their scope. ehhh.. maybe 7-9 characters actually.

Edited by astronaut jones
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