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Don't Panic - The 42nd Edition


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[center][img]http://i336.photobucket.com/albums/n329/Dragonmack/logocg9ez4.png[/img][/center]

[center][img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20070819020953/uncyclopedia/images/0/01/FortyTwo.png[/img][/center]
[color=#4040FF][b][size=6]Welcome to Edition #42[/size][/b][/color]
In October of 2006, a newsletter was born. Not just any newsletter, mind you. Not just a few tidbits of information and mindless filler. Not just a propaganda tool or a subtle poke at your enemies. But a newsletter that aimed to change the world. And how did we do that, you ask? By a very simple philosophy that has been transcribed into each and every edition for the past four years and two months; a message that every Hitchhiker knows and everyone on Planet Bob should follow. The friendliest and most helpful thing anyone will ever say to you:

"Don't Panic!"

And on this, the 42nd Edition of Don't Panic, we are absolutely stuffed with 42-inspired nonsense, celebration, reminiscing, and even more helpful advice for all our fellow Bobians. Enjoy! Feel free to use our very special DP! #42 merit to help celebrate 42 editions of the hoopiest newsletter on Planet Bob:

[img]http://i54.tinypic.com/rs65bp.jpg[/img]

[color=#4040FF][b][size=6]Dear Planet Bob,[/size][/b][/color]
So, I hear you're going to war. Now, you know what we're going to say next, right? That's it - [i]Don't Panic[/i]. In the interest of public health in this time of bloodshed and war declarations, here's some tidbits of advice to help all enjoy our one-way ticket to hell.

- Keep your war declarations classy. You're not on a mission from Admin; you're following a treaty.
- Be respectful to your enemies. They're just froods taking orders just like you.
- Wipe the bile off your mouth. The CB was !@#$, we all know it, don't pander it around like gospel.
- When it's all done and dusted, head to the bar with your enemy and enjoy a pint of That Ol' Janx Spirit together.

Above all else, remember to have fun.

[center][i]This Edition Is Proudly Brought To You By [b]That Ol' Janx Spirit[/b][/i]
[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/temp/OldJanx-1.png[/img][/center]

[color=#4040FF][b][size=6]Mostly Harmless News[/size][/b][/color]
[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]Elections & Changes[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By Rugby[/i]

In the January [color=#FF0000]Triumvir[/color] elections, IYIyTh challenged the incumbent Cable77. The latter was reelected by the people. The February Triumvir elections are currently underway.

There were also a couple moves in the Ministries as well. Priya, our [color=#8000FF]Minister of Bad Poetry[/color] resigned from office after a successful 9-month term (she is our equal Longest-Serving Minister) and was replaced by former-Triumvir-turned-Court-Officer-turned-Minister, Jadoo1989. Furthermore, the [color=#00FF00]Ministry of Towels[/color] has another new Minister when The Ultimate 747 stepped down and was replaced by kippa tarxien.

It was a busy month for the [b]Court[/b] as well. IYIyTh was successfully re-elected into his second term in the white robes, however with Jadoo moving over to the Ministry and Doc Miles resigning from his position, we had two additional Special Elections in January. The people voted Ninja Gumby and E-Train to fill the vacant spots.

Meanwhile, Gon was elected to [color=#48D1CC]Legislator[/color] and Scorpio moved to the role of [color=#48D1CC]Speaker[/color] of the Assembly.

[color=#FF0000]Triumvirate: Dynasty, Cable77, El Presidente[/color]

[color=#0000FF]Minister of Hitchhikers (Members): Pourquoi
Deputy: Denisov[/color]
[color=#00FF00]Minister of Towels (Economy): kippa tarxien
Deputy: King Jambo III[/color]
[color=#FF8000]Minister of BabelFish (Diplomacy): Queen Hoopdy the 1st
Deputy: AvengingAngel256[/color]
[color=#8000FF]Minister of Bad Poetry (Communications): Jadoo1989
Deputy: Anysound[/color]
[color="#FFA500"]Minister of Destructor Fleets (War): madspartus
Deputy: Scorn[/color]

[color="#48D1CC"]Speaker of the HHA: Scorpio
Legislator of the HHA: Gon[/color]

[b]Court Officers:
IYIyTh
Ninja Gumby
Etrain
[/b]

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Rugby[/i]

[i]"And Ye, did Deep Thought did decree that the Answer wasth 42. And Ye did the people rejoice."[/i]

Where would we be if we didn't have the soothing clarity of The Answer? Where could we turn if The Answer remained ridiculously unknown? The Answer that took many lifetimes to solve; that united the Universe around one clear, unquestionable, definitive, God-like number.

Forty Two.

Go on, say it out loud. Savor the flirty F, hear the crispness of the T's, the allure of the concluding "ooh". It's magic, innit? And such a simple answer that freed the world from endless questioning, from doubt and war over stupid stuff like religion and money. Forty Two saved us all.

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]A History of Don't Panic![/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: The King, interviews by Etrain and Rugby[/i]
42: That is the answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything. That is the great and holy number. That is the number of this Don't Panic edition. The newsletter first began on October 14, 2006. Doing the math, that is over [size=1] Well actually, I don't know how much it's over![/size] days! But either way, DP! has been in existence for over 4 years. Now let's take a look at its history.

[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/MHA/DontPanicBanner.gif[/img]
[i]The second Don't Panic Banner, which arrived in edition #5 and was frequently used throughout 2007 and 2008.[/i]

In earlier editions, the newsletter simply listed reasons to not panic. Let's talk to the very first editor, Working Class Ruler (or WCR), about this treachery:

[quote]
[color=#8000FF][b][i]Don't Panic:[/i] Tell us how the newsletter began.[/b]
[i]Rugby:[/i][/color] Back in 2006, the MHA was a new upstart alliance that was nonchalantly trying to make a name for itself. Of course, it was far easier in those days given there were far fewer alliances than there are currently. Still, most alliances published newsletters or held regular Q&A's to promote their image, growth and feats of democracy.

Instead of just creating a glorified announcement, the newsletter had to be different and it had to stand out. So I decided to base our theme on a great [i]Hitchhiker's[/i] quote that we are all just tiny little dots when compared to the size of the Universe. And that drama and global conflict were (at that time) a constant state of being in Planet Bob. In order to prevent panic and to stay froody, therefore, the MHA would deliver a few informative ways in which to help everyone cope with this realization.

It was more than a newsletter, it was a public health initiative.

[color=#8000FF][b][i]Don't Panic:[/i] How has Don't Panic evolved since then?[/b]
[i]Rugby:[/i][/color] We've come a long way from just one guy in a broom-closet trying to be funny to a certified office with staff, a sub-editor, columnists, poets, and reporters. Our current editions are [i]War and Peace[/i] compared to the original's short novella; our content per edition has grown exponentially to showcase the many creative talents, personal projects and humorous contributions from a wide variety of Hitchhikers.

In an interesting twist, however, it's also become more of an event. MHA is seldom out there shouting for attention; we don't make many announcements at all anymore. Instead, Don't Panic has become the main source of information and alliance updates for us, it's our only propaganda tool, and that creates an important burden to produce the highest quality of newsletter that we can.

[color=#8000FF][b][i]Don't Panic:[/i] Finally, what are your favorite segments from the past?[/b]
[i]Rugby:[/i][/color] Back in the Christmas edition of 2006, we exposed Santa's bias for the New Pacific Order in a shocking article that cried fairly hard over not receiving a 10-speed bike. Edition #2 brought us the Don't Panic Award for Not Panicking, which is kind of like the Nobel Peace Prize for Hitchhikers. It was nice to recognize people who were actively keeping things fun and froody, because that's what we're all about.
[/quote]

Wait....WHAT?! I know what your thinking...that's not WCR! Well....you are right! That's Rugby, WCR's re-roll! Honestly, it's a terrible name! Football is much better! But yea, that nasty first Don't Panic Editor reincarnated for this one. What a jerk :P [Editor's Note: You're Fired.]

[img]http://i336.photobucket.com/albums/n329/Dragonmack/logocg9ez4.png[/img]
[i]The newsletter's third banner, which was introduced in December 2008, in edition #18, and still used to this day - over 2 years later![/i]

Throughout 2008, the newsletter was produced by John Matthews, who is no longer available for comment. However, after his departure, Don't Panic went unpublished for several months - only to be revived once IYIyth became Minister of Bad Poetry in June 2009.

[quote]
[color=#8000FF][b][i]DP:[/i] You are credited with reviving Don't Panic and bringing this much-loved alliance tradition back to life. How did that come about and why?[/b][/color]
[i]Myth[/i]: The MoBP was sitting in the doldrums and was neglected. I have always thrived in bringing something back from the dead, and I considered it a challenge to make an underrated department the top of the class. I started a newsletter for the OWF that made its way to our embassies abroad and it was well received. In addition, I wanted to rekindle the tradition of Don't Panic, and I felt that it was something that incorporated our theme into the game and that our users would respond well too it, and they did.

[color=#8000FF][b][i]DP:[/i] What are your favorite segments from your time as Editor and/or from other editions of DP?[/b][/color]
[i]Myth[/i]: My favorite segments were the enormous differences in my and other author's versions of the publication. While the entire cybernations community are given an external copy, I remember the size of most of my internal versions being double if not triple the size of what went out to embassies. While people like to think we are boring, the fact of the matter is we supply our own drama and have a great deal of intellectual activity and a melting pot core to support it. Partially that's why I've stopped posting on the OWF, the drama on it is sso terrible these days when it's the same two or three people goading / attempting to flex their muscles. It's all so tired. The stuff we come up with is fresh, new, and actual drama. The players are people we know, the events are unfolding in front of us. This was particularly true when Don't Panic was hosted around Vox's era, but in general all editions are unique in that they focus on different aspects of what's happening in MHA.

[color=#8000FF][b][i]DP:[/i] Your editions of Don't Panic also used many quotes from Hitchhiker's, do you have a personal favorite quote? [/b][/color]
[i]Myth[/i]: "The election is ancient history, Zaphod. If memory serves, you won, proving that good looks and charm win over brilliance and the ability to govern. And for the record? You *are* stupid."

For those of you would know me or have picked up on it, my style of IC persona most directly resembles this fictional character of HHGTtG and I have used them appropriately when possible. This particular quote was used after I lost a Triumvir race a few years ago to Sorum, whose campaign was primarily based upon being a member of possibly the "sexiest triumvirate ever," along with WCR and Crushtania.

[color=#8000FF][b][i]DP:[/i] Any words of advice for Hitchhikers who would like to write for Don't Panic?[/b][/color]
[i]Myth[/i]: Write what you want. Feel free to be witty and snarky. If it isn't appropriate for eyes outside, keep it in, but don't let that keep you from writing it.[/quote]

So now, lets look at that other guy....Scytale. Let's talk with him, and see what he has to say. Someone get me a whip and his family...err...I mean.... a camera and a notebook.

[quote][color=#8000FF][b][i]DP:[/i] What made you want to be an editor of Don't Panic?[/b][/color]
[i]Scytale:[/i] I was drunk and someone said, "Do you want to be the editor of the Don't Panic?" I thought they said, "Do you want another drink?" So I said yes and here I am.

I decided to take the editor job and change it around to minimize the effect of one person leaving. Thus the position of Editor in Chief was created with others being part of the "Don't Panic Crew".

[color=#8000FF][b][i]DP:[/i] How has DP evolved since?[/b][/color]
[i]Scytale:[/i] We made it open so anyone can help and also tried to rotate the Editor in Chief position so people realize anyone can take that position any edition if they liked and didn't burn out one person. This allowed for a more regular publishing albeit a little late as the original intent was to publish it right after the Trium elections (like we ever made that deadline )

The freedom for anyone to add to the content really opened the Don't Panic up for a variety of content. Also, people seem to enjoy helping out in a very relax and easy going atmosphere. The deadline suffers but hey, we get better content and happier workers (which is good since we can't pay them)

[color=#8000FF][b][i]DP:[/i] Much like in Hitchhikers where Lig Lury, Jr, the Editor of the Guide, never actually resigned from his job and all subsequent Editors were only "Acting", you've taken a rather long lunch as DP's Editor-in-Chief. Are you at least on to the appetizers yet? [/b][/color]
[i]Scytale:[/i] Actually, my original goal when the Don't Panic was restructured was never to have myself as a permanent Editor in Chief. The goal was to get people to rotate in. That way the one that is most likely to be able to get an edition out would take it for the month. My intent for myself was always to go into the background and be there to fill in when needed. Everyone has been doing such a great job that there have been times I didn't even have to come by.[/quote]

After Scytale, the newsletter was placed in the hands of Pourqoui, who was Editor of Don't Panic from editions #28 through to #38, the majority of the 2010 and the most of any other editor. It seems he's run away, so we can't get an interview with him. Just kidding :P Here he is:

[quote][color=#8000FF][b][i]DP:[/i] You are the longest reigning Editor of Don't Panic, do you have any favorite segments or editions from your time?[/b][/color]
[i]Pourquoi[/i]: I did not know it had been that long - time flies when you're having fun - I can't remember any specific editions, but I have been a big lover of some of Scytale's best articles which combine humour and information really well - his one about The Family sticks in the mind. The regular Vogon Poetry is also a classic, we could not do a DP without it, and Dynasty has certainly cemented himself as a Vogon Poet legend with his regular submitions.

I'm obviously a fan of my own articles ('The (Sub-)Editor is Drinking') - mainly because they involve drinking copious quantities of booze - and have loved the more recent visual additions; some of the caption comp pictures and demotivational posters have been hilarious.

[color=#8000FF][b][i]DP:[/i] As Editor, you increased the amount of publications of the newsletter per month (Feb - March 2010), what was the motivation behind this and where the hell do you get off trying to make us work harder? [/b][/color]
[i]Pourquoi[/i]: Hehe, I felt the DPs should be more topical, and making them twice monthly meant the news was more likely to actually be 'news'. Also, I like to make people work - its a tyranical instinct I have no intention of getting rid of.

[color=#8000FF][b][i]DP:[/i] What's the top advice you would give to future Editors? [/b][/color]
[i]Pourquoi[/i]: Deadlines were made to be broken.

[color=#8000FF][b][i]DP:[/i] What advice would you give to Hitchhikers wanting to write for DP?[/b][/color]
[i]Pourquoi[/i]: DO IT!!! Don't think, just write. We are always looking for new contributions and very, very rarely will turn something down. If you write it the chances are we'll stick it in somewhere. Don't worry about it not being perfect, things in life rarely are. We're just happy to have our wonderful hitchhikers contributing towards something that the rest of CN will see.[/quote]

Like nostalgia? [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?app=blog&module=display&section=blog&blogid=613&showentry=2545][b][color=#8000FF]Click here to check out all of the previous editions of Don't Panic![/color][/b][/url] Thank you to all the previous Editors and YOU the reader for keeping DP going for so long.

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]Don't Panic Award for Not Panicking![/size][/b][/color]
[i]Initiated by AvengingAngel256, written by Rugby.[/i]
[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/DontPanicAward1.jpg[/img]

Way back in Edition #2, we introduced a little award known as the DPAFNP, or the D[i]on't Panic Award For Not Panicking[/i] in short. We're going to bring that back this month for a big shout out to our allies in Fark and Umbrella. During the previous Christmas period, when all should have been harmonious and peaceful, the world came dangerously close to a Global Conflict. And from many reports, it was the mercy and restraint from Fark and the mediation from Umbrella that ensured a peaceful Christmas and holiday period. Lesser folks would have panicked and pushed the big red button - instead they both proved worthy of the Don't Panic Award For [i]Not[/i] Panicking.

[i]Some[/i] people could take a very good look at these guys on how to conduct foreign affairs.

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]What is a hoopy frood? - Part Three[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Rugby [/i]
[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/Sigs/photo_12_hires-500x326.jpg[/img]

Oh Trillian. Yes, I know the [i]Hitchhiker's[/i] definition of "frood" appears to be male, but Trillian exhibits all the signs of someone who is unbelievably hoopy. And who's to say that girls can't be hoopy froods? Not I. More to the point, it's exactly because in many ways she out-hoopies her male counterparts that Trillian MUST be mentioned in this series.

So how does Trillian live up to the term? First, she leaves a rather nice party for an alien, travels the universe with said alien in a stolen spaceship, rescues the mice whom created the Earth, saves the universe from the Krikketers, and becomes a galaxy-famous reporter.

Unlike her fellow human survivor, Trillian adopts easily to life in space. Whereas Arthur spends most of his time afraid, asking "What?", or searching for a cup of tea, Trillian adopts a new name (from her earth-name Tricia) and is a bone-fide Hitchhiker by the time she rescues Arthur and Ford from certain death. She's often the voice of reason to Zaphod's crazy ways, compassionate to the ever-depressed Marvin, and friend to Arthur (though in one version, more than a friend). Trillian is cool, friendly, honest and hoopy.

Previously we've looked at the witty and informed Hitchhiker (Ford), the crazy and wild (Zaphod) and now the calm and collected. All qualities of a true Hitchhiker and hoopy frood.

[u]Next Month - Part 4: Douglas Adams[/u]

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]Treaty News[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: AvengingAngel256[/i]
We here at the MHA are always looking to improve our relationship with New and Old Friends. We recently finished formalizing up two such relationships and were planning on posting the announcements on their Own, but we thought we would save the big surprise for our special Edition #42 Don't Panic! Being the Diplomat to both alliances, I have the Distinct Honor of announcing...

[quote][size=4][color=#40BFFF]The Treaty at the end of the Universe... or [i]cause of[/i] the end of the Universe.[/size][/color][color=#FF0000]*[/color]
We here at the MHA tend to live by the creedo of being [i]Mostly Harmless[/i]. Sometimes others don't live by the creedo though, and that's okay too.
Hoopy Froods such as ourselves tend to forgive and Forget. We don't hold any [i]eternal grudges[/i].
Hitchhikers are always meeting new people, and are generally friendly, despite certain people clearly having a [i]fungus problem[/i].
Sometimes Alliances' Ambassadors don't get along and relationships might be [i]closed[/i]
but sometimes the best way to make two of your own friends become friends is by sticking them in a Room (or binding them with a military treaty) and force them to play Nice.

Presenting the Treaty at the End of the Universe... or possibly the cause of the end of the universe.
[spoiler][center][img]http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090917182853/cybernations/images/thumb/b/b8/NPObannerflagnew.png/200px-NPObannerflagnew.png[/img][img]http://images.wikia.com/cybernations/images/8/85/MHA_Small_Flag.gif[/img][img]http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101123033029/cybernations/images/thumb/b/ba/New_MK_Flag.svg/200px-New_MK_Flag.svg.png[/img]*[/center]
Article One: Sovereignty
The Undersigned Alliances agree that while friends can be friends, you gotta be your own person man. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and that's allright. You can tell anyone else what they gotta do because they gotta do it themselves.

Article Two: Information
Sometimes, Friends gotta tell friends when something's up. The undersigned agree that if something is up. they'll tell each other.

Article Three: Mutual Defense
If someone messes with your friends, you gotta help each other out. That's what friends are for.

Article Four: Optional Agression
Sometimes your friends have enemies. Sometimes those peeps aren't necessarily [i]your[/i] enemies. You don't gotta join in on the hate.

Article Five: Rawr
Rawr

Article Six: Cancelation
Sometimes friends part ways. It's cool, but you gotta tell friends when stuff like this is goin down, and you gotta do it two or three days in advance. Otherwise the breakup is just too painful. You don't want it going on and on for years and years... and years.

[i]Signed for the Mostly Harmless Alliance[/i]
Wire66, Triumvir
Empire, Triumvir
The President, Triumvir

[i]Signed for the Mushroom Kingdom[/i]
PowerOverwhelming, King
Belulu, Prince

[i]Signed for the New Pacific Order[/i]
Beelzebub Lord of Darkness

[size=2]*MK wanted to have the Biggest flag, but we figured we'd have the most important alliance of the three have the largest Flag. [/size]

[color=#FF0000]*[/color][size=1]April Fools! Except it's not April yet. Hope you enjoyed this Edition's Hoax of the Month![/size][/spoiler]
[/quote]

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]Get Your Chess On![/size][/b][/color]
[i]Competition by Edmonto and Azrael Alexander, written by Scytale[/i]
Come here come all to a tournament of chess at the Mostly Harmless Alliance! You are all welcomed to a forum version of correspondence chess. Our Entertainment folks have put on a feast of competitions for all you chess-heads, so come on down and check it out:

>>>[url=http://www.mostlyharmlessalliance.com/viewtopic.php?f=166&t=16544&p=272183]Check Mate It Out![/url]<<<

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]There can be only one - Survivor![/size][/b][/color]
[i]Competition by The King, written by Rugby[/i]
[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/SurvivorMHA-1.gif[/img]
Following an all-weekend New Year's Party, twelve Hitchhikers wake up on a deserted island. Forming two tribes, the survivors must compete against each other to win prizes and immunity from Tribal Council, where each week the losing tribe must vote out one of their own. Each Survivor must out wit, out play and out last the others to take the title of Sole Survivor, and the $3 Million prize.

12 Hitchhikers, 9 weeks, and only one Survivor. Let the games begin!

[color=#4040FF][b][size=6]Just for Fun[/size][/b][/color]
[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]But 6 by 9 Equals...[/size][/b][/color]
[OOC]
In this confusing little game, try to find out how each of the following images relate to the number 42. [s]The first person to get ALL of them will win a prize.[/s]

Edit: [color="#00FF00"][b]Dibbun from Sparta has correctly answered them all.[/b] If you'd still like to figure them out for yourselves, feel free to just PM me the answers and don't scroll down.[/color]

[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/temp/4.gif[/img] [img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/temp/6.gif[/img]
[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/temp/5.gif[/img] [img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/temp/3.gif[/img]
[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/temp/2.gif[/img] [img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/temp/1.gif[/img][/OOC]

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]Previous Caption Competition Winner[/size][/b][/color]
Here's last month's Caption Contest image:
[spoiler][img]http://chzwhydoilivehere.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/129210275557457374.jpg[/img][/spoiler]And here's the entries that were fit to print:

"In Soviet Russia, lawn mows you! " - Ernesto Che Guevara
"In your neighborhood, confusin your neighbors." - Baltus
"You can never prepare enough for the zombie hordes " - dragonknight1000
"...and then GOONS showed up to the lawn mower orgy... " - TheyCallMeJeezy
"Drunk Gardener causes 24-Mower pileup! " - Olaf Styke
"Redneck Emergency Generator " - Mysterion
"Who needs lawn chairs..." - Axolotlia
"... you might be a redneck" - Wu Tang Clan
"(In the voice of Darrell Waltrip) And on the final lap of the Dickie John's Lawnmower 500, a 60 mower pileup emerges victorious! " - memoryproblems
"Mo-vember? You're doing it wrong." - Rugby
"WILL TRADE FOR A RIDING MOWER." - Zhaan
"Today in traffic, there's a multi-vehicle pileup on the Green Expressway spanning across all 4 lanes just before the Sidewalk Street exit. No vehicles can get by on either side." - Chocolate Cookies
"Damn this Yorkshire accent - look, when I said to thee, 'put mower on the log pile'..." - Pondoland
"For sale: 1 lawn. Free lawnmowers included. Must take lawnmowers." - Horatio Longworth
"What do you mean \m/ doesn't stand for mowers?" - Veracity
"Who parked those tiny vehicles in front of my house?" - Shakya
"Some people collect stamps..." - Taishaku

[b][color="#48D1CC"]Special Mention[/color] for making us think:[/b]
Inspired by Duchamp's "Fountain," I present "Barber Shop".
[b]Nishiyoshi[/b]

[b][color=#BF8000]Runners Up:[/color][/b]
"We smoke our grass in this town. "
[b]NewPoseidon[/b]

"Bill's neighbors hoped this time that he'd finally get the hint.."
[b]Gamemaster1[/b]

[b][color=#40BF00]WINNER:[/color][/b]
"Gay test! If you saw the massive pile of lawnmowers before you saw the hot girl on the right... "
[b]Avakael[/b]

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]New Caption Competition![/size][/b][/color]

This month's image is:
[img]http://chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/yogatrainingp1.gif[/img]

[b][u]Go On And Post Your Entries Below![/b][/u]

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]Pan-Galactic Competition![/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Pourquoi[/i]
Last month, we invited readers from across Planet Bob to submit their entries for a real-life version of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. Our faithful [s]drunk[/s] Sub-Editor has recovered from his alcoholic coma to announce the results.

[b][color=#BF8000]Runners Up:[/color][/b]

[b]We Are Not Alone[/b] with:
1 1/2 shots 151 Proof Rum
1/4 shot Tequila
1/4 shot Gin
2/3 shot Triple Sec
1 shot Blue Curacao
1 dash Bitters
1 dash Grenadine

Very nice, strong alcoholic hit and a strong flavour with it. Perhaps not enough lemon/citrous flavour to be called a PGGB, but still a great drink that'll get you drunk pretty quickly, lol.

[b]Makaveli[/b] with:
-1 ounce of Orange juice
-1 ounce of Pineapple juice
-1 ounce Sour mix
-1 ounce of Lemon liqueur
-1 ounce of Vodka
-Some edible gold leaf
(sans gold leaf - sorry, couldn't find one!)

This was definately a great PGGB candidate; fruity initial taste, citrousy after-taste, just maybe not alcoholic enough for the real PGGB. That said, excellant submition, though maybe less sour mix, more vodka would make it better still Sorry I couldn't get hold of a gold leaf for it, but I think a real PGGB would melt such a thing before one could appreciate it

[b][color=#40BF00]WINNER:[/color][/b]
[b]King Jambo III[/b] with:

1 oz Bacardi 151 rum
1 oz peach schnapps
4 - 6 oz orange juice
1 splash Blue Curacao liqueur
1 lemon twist

My only complaint with this one was it needed more lemon/citrous flavour, but the OJ + curacao do just enough, and the rum gives you a strong alcoholic hit without being completly overpowering. More fruity perhaps than the other two submitions, and I do like fruity cocktails, and the peach schnapps was also a welcome addition. Not 100% PGGB material, but certainly 99%

Now which way to the rehab centre?

King Jambo III wins 3mil from Pourquoi. A big thank you to all who submitted drinks.

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]The Sub-Editor's Drinking...[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Pourquoi[/i]
As we've had a load of excellance submitions for the PGGB competition, I thought I'd dedicate this (42nd) edition to trying to find what *I* think is the best PGGB recipe.

Firstly though, a bit of history & background on this great drink;

The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster (PGGB) was invented by Zaphod Beeblebrox. It is the best drink in existence and the effect is drinking one 'is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick'. Numerous voluntary organisations exist to help you rehabilitate after consuming said beverage.

Though there are recipes out there replicating the drink based on the ingredients given in the book (none/few of which are available on planet earth) however I prefer attempting to replicate the result as opposed to the ingredients. As my old dad used to say - 'its not whether the levy was dry or not, son, its whether the shevy got you there or not that counts'. So with that, sort of, in mind I set about attempting to replicate the drink.

The first place to start seemed to be with large quanitites of spirits. This is usually a good place to start with any problem, doubly so in this case. AN initial favourite was the 'Kamikaze' which has been reviewed previously by this article. The combination of a 3-way Vodka, Triple Sec, Lemon Juice drink is very much like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick. I think if this drink fails it is in the brick department. Said bricks was certainly gold, but I don't know if it was large enough. The impressive thing about the kamikaze is how it gets so much alcohol into you so quickly without you evenn realising your at all drunk. It is not uncommon for people to knock back seven or eight of these and feel fine... right up until they decided to stand up and found their legs had betrayed them by turning to jelly.

Given I feel the PGGB should be more immiediate in it's impact, I decided to look on. My next candidate came in the form of a whisky sour. More immiediate the effect certainly was and their were aspects to the lemon covered brick there, but I just felt whiskey wasn't the right spirit to be using here. It didn't impart quite the same satisfaction as I'd had from the kamikaze. I reckoned a clear spirit was in order.

So I turned to gin. (Story of my life.) The obvious way to go here was with a martini - instant brick smashing through the brains feeling combined with a hint of lemon from a lemon twist. Still, not thouroughly satisfying though. It was almost as if the gin was too nice a spirit. There was too much complexity to the taste to fully feel what I envisaged a PGGB would impart on me (that and I could still see).

My last candidate was then the one I had most confidence in. The vodka martini. Without the more complex taste that gin has and with a slight squeeze of lemon into the shaker it was much easier to create a hard hitting, lemon tinged drink which certainly left me feeling as if a piece of my brain was missing (alcohol kills brain cells!). It was so simple a drink as well, not overly complicated in the creation or in the ingredients required, it just needed to be cold, strong and coated in lemon. Where the gold element comes in, I dunno, but until we mere mortals can ask Mr Beeblebrox for ourselves, I think the Vodka Martini is as close as we're getting to the PGGB.

Cheers

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]42 Pron Of the Month:[/size][/b][/color]
[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/6x9-42-tattoo.jpg[/img]
Yeah baby.

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]Poetry Corner[/size][/b][/color]

[i]Vogon Poetry By Dynasty[/i]
Mammoths crisscross caramel candles carelessly
Cakes cleaning cardboard cars canning caned caps
Cones catalyzing catalectic calves cased camels
Lint correctly conjugates casserole cupplessly
Haversine Homeostasis regurgitates abominable
Endemics Eccentrically Notational Tacos Direly
Dolphins dive Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism
Fish ghosts entangle ghastly logs through acorns
Treacherous traitorous igloos ship hippopotami
Spherical trees tease generous owls like vacuums
Ocean obis slime tricky emus emanating agitation

[i]An Ode to 42 in 42 Lines by Scytale[/i]
Oh 42 what a number
It couldn’t be more perfect
There are other numbers that are good
But 42 is just right for the MHA

41 is close to perfection
But the number is just a bit odd
44 has a good look
But it just doesn’t look right

69 they say is very popular
Everyone gets excited
When this number appears
But personally I like 42

The number 1 is supposed to represent the best
Being the first makes it look like a success
Even zero who comes before
Lets number 1 take center stage

But you know what?
Number 1 has nothing on 42
Number 1 is just a glory hound
Who cares nothing for the other numbers

Number 10 is an interesting number
People associate this number with perfection
But why can’t we modernize the scoring system
That has 42 as the perfect score

100 is a relative of 10
Its meaning is to be whole
Like giving 100 percent to a job
Is to give everything you got

Again, why does it have to be 100?
Just because we use a base 10 system
Doesn’t mean we have to be shackled
To a number with two zeroes

The number 4 in some nations
Is the number of death
The number 2 in tarot
Is the number for love

So does that mean the number 42
Is the number for the death of lovers?
That would be an interesting
But I don’t believe it

And, that’s why I love 42
Even though this poem doesn’t follow any rules

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]Poetry Competition[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By Scytale[/i]
Think you can do better than those masterpieces above? Then write your own 42-related poetry, submit it here and you could win a cool $3 Million or 50 Tech. Must be related to 42 and it must be an ORIGINAL piece.

You have 42 days!

[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/cnBAY2.png[/img]
[i]For All Your Death Star Construction Needs!*[/i]
[size=2](*Something, something, something dark side.)[/size]

[b]Bottle of Green Fairy Absinthe - $80[/b]
I have an abundance of Green Fairy Absinthe to sell to WHOEVER WANTS IT. Green Fairy is the only mind-altering liqueur guaranteed to send you on a wonderful trip of false-reality. Want to escape life and live in the world where you are slaves to the Green Fairy's every whim? Just be warned - last time I drank this, I ended up believing the Green Fairy so much that I beat up a polar bear because of her convincing hallucinations.

Feedback: 65-page thread | 50%
[url=http://cgi.ebay.com/CBD-GREEN-FAIRY-ABSINTHE-PERFUME-OIL-ROLLON-ANISE-WOOD-/360314765021?pt=fragrance&hash=item53e46efedd]Watch this item[/url]

[b]Ball and Chain - $24.99[/b]
Slightly bent Ball and Chain set. Item is bent slightly around the cuff area after the person wearing it decided they didn't want to carry it around anymore, and promptly broke their chain to escape. It has no use to me now.

*Note: Item has been removed from sale. Wearer has returned and decided they [i]do[/i] want to wear it again. False alarm, folks!

Feedback: 33-page thread | 90%
[url=http://cgi.ebay.com/Iron-old-ole-BALL-CHAIN-Pirate-Ship-jail-leg-shackles-/230576420610?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item35af6cf702]Watch this item[/url]

[b]Multi-Stem Cactus - $4.95[/b]
Bought this thinking it would only grow one way, the way that I wanted it to grow, but suddenly it started growing another stem in a different direction and I don't know what to do with it. Thought about cutting off the other stem, but then the plant would probably wilt and die.

Feedback: 9-page thread | 100%
[url=http://cgi.ebay.com/Lobivia-aculeata-Multi-Stem-Pink-Red-Flowers-Cactus-76-/310270252206?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item483d8c54ae]Watch this item[/url]

[color=#4040FF][b][size=6]The Last Word[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Rugby[/i]

Phew! If you made it this far, congratulations! You have survived our biggest edition yet. Much love and thanks to YOU readers for always coming back to read our nonsense and hijinks, to all of the DP staff (below) for their contributions, hard work, and complete dismissal of any deadlines. And of course, the alliance who inspires this insanity - the MHA.

Till next time!

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]Staff Listing[/size][/b][/color]
Rugby, Editor and Columnist
Pourquoi, Sub-Editor and Columnist
Scytale, Editor-in-Chief, Columnist, Poet
The King, Columnist
Neptunebyte, DP Photographer
AvengingAngel256, Columnist
Samson Ares, DP Merit Artist
Etrain, Interviewer
Dynasty, Vogon Poet
Doctor Octagonapus, Spell-checker
Forty Two, the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything.

Edited by Rugby
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Yes, the CB was !@#$%^&*. Glad that you agree. Although I don't think that tensions will ease too much after ceasefire.

Also $80 is too much for a bottle of green fairy. The local has it for about $60. That's including about $25 of excise tax and $6 goods and services tax.

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[quote name='shahenshah' timestamp='1295861867' post='2596331']
No mention of the war! :(
[/quote]
Not only did you not bother to read even the first bit but you rushed in here to post this garbage:
[quote name='shahenshah' timestamp='1295861867' post='2596331']
firsttt
[/quote]
You've surpassed yourself.

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MHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I respectfully submit my answers to your puzzling puzzle of profound puzzlement!

OOC:

[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/temp/4.gif[/img]

The sum of the opposite sides of one die are 21 (6+1+5+2+4+3) so the sum of two die is [b]42[/b]

[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/temp/6.gif[/img]

Each pole of the planet of Uranus (lol) gets [b]42[/b] years of sunlight and [b]42[/b] years of darkness.

[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/temp/5.gif[/img]

William Jefferson Clinton was the [b]42[/b]nd United States President

[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/temp/3.gif[/img]

There are [b]42[/b] laws of cricket

[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/temp/2.gif[/img]

Paul McCartney was born in 19[b]42[/b]

[img]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j172/billtemple/temp/1.gif[/img]

Washington was the [b]42[/b]nd state admitted to the United States.

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[quote name='Dibbun' timestamp='1295866369' post='2596386']
MHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I respectfully submit my answers to your puzzling puzzle of profound puzzlement!

OOC:
The sum of the opposite sides of one die are 21 (6+1+5+2+4+3) so the sum of two die is [b]42[/b]

Each pole of the planet of Uranus (lol) gets [b]42[/b] years of sunlight and [b]42[/b] years of darkness.

William Jefferson Clinton was the [b]42[/b]nd United States President

There are [b]42[/b] laws of cricket

Paul McCartney was born in 19[b]42[/b]

Washington was the [b]42[/b]nd state admitted to the United States.
[/quote]

[color="#00FF00"][b]Correct![/b][/color]

Dibbun is the winner of this competition

:awesome:

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o/ MHAIL!

i have to admit i had to do a triple take with that treaty lol

anyway great read as always :D

as for the caption contest...hm...

"This is what happens when you give sugar and crack to IYIyTh"

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