Pacific News Network presents: International Issue 4

[Thomas Richmond]

[center][IMG]http://i477.photobucket.com/albums/rr139/Atlis14/NPO/pnn-1.png[/IMG]
[b][size="3"]PNN International Issue 4[/size][/b]
[i][size="3"]"She took our money, the car, the house, but she didn't take our pens."[/size][/i]

[b][u]Table of Contents[/u][/b]
Director's Address
Coordinator's Address
Revolutionary Council elections
Black Bird Pie recipe
Interview with Jasmine, Pacifican Banker
Radio signals detected from Pacifica
Interview with Desperado, Phoenix Federation
Krull's Comic Corner[/center]



[b][size=4]Director's Address[/size][/b]

So, since they tried to replace me last issue with an attack on my computer... one which I fully believe was conducted out of the PG office I wanted to say that I have been very impressed with the quality of work that people are putting out I believe this issue is one of the best we have done. Congrats to everyone who made it happen and I hope that the International community enjoys reading this as much as we did putting it together. Welcome to the 4th Edition of the International PNN.

Brennan
Media Director, Imperial Office of Media Affairs
New Pacific Order




[b][size=4]Coordinator's Address[/size][/b]

Greetings Planet Bob. As we continue to pay reps and survive under the collective thumb of our suppressors, the Imperial Office of Media Affairs of the New Pacific Order is proud to present you with Issue #4 of PNN International.

The articles, interviews and recipe within this edition are a sample of the works submitted by Pacificans for the dissemination of information and the entertainment of their Comrades. Pacifica is happy to share this Planet Bob as our community and culture is definitely a glorious experience for all involved. Those of you who take the time to read and enjoy this glimpse into our homeland, will find yourselves warmed by the fires of greatness which emanate from the NPO...or was that just the flagellation of injustice o.O

Lord Valleo
Media Coordinator, Imperial Office of Media Affairs
New Pacific Order



[b][size="4"]Another Revolutionary Moment For NPO[/size][/b]

[img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3146/3008752495_b59052ef34.jpg?v=0[/img]

The government of the New Pacific Order is no democracy. One may find the Pacifican structural administration to be similar to any other military society – a uniformed, dedicated individual which moves to and fro according to the supreme will of the Emperor. However, the Order is far from being a tyrannical regime which gives little heeds of its subjects; indeed, the New Pacific Order maintains a certain system that will provide the welfare, convenience, and other needs required by the population of the alliance. It is bestowed upon the Pacifican common members the right to elect a group of their representatives to oversee the matters directly related to the mass: the Council Pacifica.

Council Pacifica is a group of delegates, elected from the Pacifican members, tasked to function in various fields. Although each Department is committed to their own duty, such as Recruitment or Mentoring, the Council is in fact the commanding unit which dictates the overall direction of such efforts. The Council also deals with common issues such as any problem between members in the Forum and Thunderdome management. Other duties included, but are not limited to, coordinating with cultural divisions, IRC channel regulation, and overseeing absent Nations.

What is special about Council Pacifica is the fact that it has recently been reformed into the Revolutionary Council, endowed with wider range of duties and authorities, to reflect the Emperor’s wish to improve the alliance in many revolutionary ways. Additionally, the 4th Revolutionary Council has been recently voted in. Speer, DRCOOL, Gandroff, Applesauce59, Contra, and Necoho are now seated at the honorable office.

Both NPO and non-NPO players have a lot to expect from this 4th Revolutionary Council. All of the Councilors pledge to seek peace and stability, not only within Pacifica but also in Planet Bob, as much as their effort can reach out to. Their aim is to serve the alliance well, and to bring a new face to Pacifica. Any skeptical who might be doubtful of such claim can easily resort to considering each Councilor’s profile – each a very able and visionary resource – an ideal combination for a radical improvement the Emperor had intended.

Now, it is up to the 4th Revolutionary Council to prove whether this article’s prediction is correct, but we can all gamble for the moment that they will.


Written by Thomas Richmond
The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events.
Proudly Part of PNN



[size=4][b]Black Bird Pie Recipe[/b][/size]

[b]Stuff you need[/b]:

3 1/2 cups self-rising and militant flour
1 cup very warm water (almost hot, as if boiled with rage)
25 Black Birds well covered with water[color=red][size=3]*[/size][/color]
3/4 lb. Moo Meat - optional


[color=red][size=3]*[/size][/color][img]http://pages.ca.inter.net/~deepsky/SR-71_BlackBird.jpg[/img]
This is the wrong kind of Blackbird.


[b]What to do with that stuff[/b]:

Mix together some biscuit dough, using whatever you have laying around. Knead until it's tough and dry, like Brennan's soul. Roll with rolling pin to get it very thin and cut into 2-inch strips.Cook until tender (at least 2 hours or 1 hour for bird). Add salt, pepper and/or chili powder to suit one's taste. When Black Birds are tender, keep broth at a rolling boil and drop in pastry - piece by piece, shaking pot violently to keep pastry pieces separated. Seriously, shake that sucker good. When all is in pot, put a cover on - good covers being a spare pair of pants, a newspaper, or a spare Mutual Defense Pact - and let cook for approximately 10 minutes. After it's done cooking, you're supposed to let it sit for another 10 minutes, but we both know you're going to say "pfft, nuts to that" and just eat it right away, so let's drop this charade. Then eat. Omnomnom.

If you are unfamiliar with making biscuits from scratch, you can substitute canned biscuits (roll individually with rolling pin) or buy frozen pastries from a local bakery or an auto-body repair shop (they've got all sorts of cool stuff). If you use canned biscuits, let it set for half an hour or so before you roll or flatten or somehow depress the thickness until you get it to your desired thickness.


[b]Notes on preparing the bird[/b]:

* Wild and chuckle-prone birds offer the most varied and perhaps the most delicious wild meat. You [i]could[/i] just use any old bird, but where's the fun in that?
* Here's another hint: Freezing a bird for a week or two will help tenderize it. Well, after you thaw it out, it'll be more tender. If you try to consume it when it's frozen, it will be very hard and untender.
* Be sure you remove any shot pellets and cut away any badly shot up areas. If you go after a wild Black Bird, you'll probably need to shoot the ever-living hell out of it before you can bag it, so try to remove as much of that as you can. Cut off the wings and feet of small birds with shears. Then, cut small birds up the backbone, remove the lungs, wash and drain.


Written by Squintus
The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events.
Proudly Part of PNN



[size=4][b]Interview with Jasmine, Pacifican Banker[/size][/b]


[img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_OQ4tIM0S520/StOJDGoqinI/AAAAAAAAALw/UdiSKF8l0B4/s400/film_noir_0006.jpg[/img]


March 7th, Year 4 of Pacifica
Personal Entry of Zblueblur0, Junior Correspondent of PNN

[b]6:45AM[/b]
I woke up bright and early this morning, big day you know. I was heading up to the Pacifican Bank Corps. Lots of pressure here, this being my first story. Yeah, the Bank HQ as I had a interview with Jasmine Jewels. Couldn't believe it myself when I was handed the story. Everyone knew this big story was coming out and everyone knows stories like this normally go to Speer, our Senior Correspondent. When I saw whose name was next to the story, I was shocked. Who would have thought a junior like me would be trusted with a story like this? When Copy Editor Thomas Richmond handed it to me, I nearly fainted. This was an important interview and this would be my big break.

[b]7:00AM[/b]
I quickly took a shower and shaved, gotta look good. I had a quiet breakfast while rereading and editing the questions I had written down. No need to stutter and make myself look unprofessional. I quickly got ready. The suit and tie had been provided by the Media Corp, after all they have a standard to maintain. I thought I looked very stunning in the extravagant all black suit. Never in my life had I worn something that expensive, however I must admit I wore it comfortably. I sipped my cooling coffee while waiting for the car to arrive.

[b]7:15AM[/b]
With a quick ID check, I was brought down to the lower garage of the Media Building and quickly put into the backseat of a slick black Mercedes Benz. What a stunning experience. I never expected to have the life experience of being driven anywhere, but here I was in the back of a Bank Corp Benz being driven to the Bank HQ. I had forty-five minutes to myself... the longest forty-five minutes of my life. I couldn't stop wondering why I'd been chosen. Was it a joke or did Thomas Richmond really think I could be a hidden gem? Anyways, I am here and it wasn't time for me to be thinking about the what ifs, the who or the how which got me here. I think I will grab a quick nap, so I'm refreshed and ready for the long day ahead...

[b]8:00AM[/b]
I awoke with a jolt, who am I, where was I, why am I in this car? Suddenly it all came back to me. I'm on my way to Bank HQ to interview Jasmine Jewels. I asked the driver how much longer we had, he just looked at me and pointed. I looked in the direction he indicated and saw the gates of the Pacifican Bank HQ. I took a moment to pinch myself. Nope, not dreaming. I was here and it was my duty to have a successful interview with Jasmine Jewels. I looked outside and wondered where her office would most likely be; what floor, with a window, in a corner? During my wondering, the driver pulled into the security check post. I quickly handed the guard my Media ID. I tried to make it look like I wasn't scared out of my wits. He gave me a quick look over and l had to hold back a shudder.

[b]8:05AM[/b]
I was quickly led inside the main lobby, I saw Media Director Brennan standing a few feet away making chit chat with a banker, I shuddered. Why was he here? I stopped trying to guess and steeled myself, I had a job to do and I was going to do it with the best of my ability. I was quickly moved into a corner and confronted by a strict looking secretary. She confirmed my interview was scheduled for 8:30 and that I was early and motioned for me to wait in the nearby seating area. Since I had a little bit of time I decided to find the nearest restroom and wash up before making my final pre-interview notes. After finding the restroom and despite my nerves, I successfully made my way to the benches on the far side of the main atrium. I had come this far and now was not to time to be nervous. I heard someone sit down next to me and a hot cup of coffee was being shoved into my hands. I looked up to find Brennan giving me a sincere smile and with a few words, my jitters vanished.

[b]8:25AM [/b]
I was quickly brought into an elevator with Jasmine's secretary and director Brennan. The director told me he had a meeting with the other department heads and had come to collect Jasmine after I was done with my interview. I read over my notes one last time and put them into my briefcase. This was my time. I was ready. The secretary led me down a long hallway which brought us to the door of Jasmine Jewels office. At exactly 8:30AM the door opened and I was led in and seated. I was actually in the office of Jasmine Jewels. "The" Jasmine Jewels. Everyone knows about her and the history books are filled with her achievements.

[b]8:40AM [/b]
Jasmine Jewels walked into the office. I awkwardly stood and greeted her with the most respect I could muster. She smiled and sat down. I can remember the words she first spoke as clearly as if it was happening right now: "So, Mr.Zblueblur0, I hear that you will be taking my interview today. Good to see its not that crusty old Speer. I like seeing some fresh blood from Media here." I nodded silently. I was ready and I quietly waited while she shifted some paper around, and then started.

[quote]
[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]I'm Zblueblur0, newly assigned PNN Scribe.

[b]Jasmine [/b]Cool

[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]Here for an interview with the astute Chairwoman of the Bank Jasmine.... So, how are we doing with reps, seeing as we've been in them for over 7months?

[b]Jasmine [/b]Really well. There were a few rough spots but we've done beautifully the last few months especially with increased investments sign ups. Not to mention the 1k nations stepping up to the plate.

[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]Yeah, I have seen the amount we have had to process, largest reps in CN history if I am not mistaken.

[b]Jasmine [/b]To date yes

[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]How does it feel for you an Ex-General to know be on the other side of the alliance now?

[b]Jasmine [/b]I don't view it as an other side of the alliance. It's more like each department is a spot in a circle. We all depend on the other in order to function as the great alliance we are. Though to be biased I've had an amazing time getting to know the Bankers that much better and have fun with all the quirkiness.

[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]As many people want to know, what is the bank planning on doing after we are released from these massive reps?

[b]Jasmine [/b]Discussions are still in place but we're hoping to refund tech back into nations along with hoping to get more WRCs and MPs alongside rebuilding. We've not had to do a mass rebuild in a long time so it's pretty exciting.

[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]Well, that is really exciting. I hope it shows to the rest of Planet Bob that our banking system is the undisputed best. Now we all know that most members don't have green tags, how can they help out with the rebuilding process without disturbing the bankers?

[b]Jasmine [/b]The only time Bankers are disturbed is when MilCom hijacks our stashes or the neighborhood Letum comes to play (we all <3 him though).

[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]So, we can safely say that any help will be good help.

[b]Jasmine [/b]In seriousness, there is always the continued Investments Donations thread in the BR that takes any donation from 3M to 18M

[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]Other then the monetary aid, is the bank going to working closely with the Tech Corps on getting some Tech moving? Those forums are getting a bit dusty you know.

[b]Jasmine [/b]Definitely planning on getting those gears rolling again. Things are getting dusted off as we speak to prepare for the end of terms when we're able to do internal tech again.

[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]For the readers, do you have an estimated amount of money were going to be sending in our first month out of terms?

[b]Jasmine [/b]I've not calculated that yet but it shall give us something to look forward to reading after it happens

[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]A couple of comrades have stated that they wish to become bankers. How would a member go around doing that?

[b]Jasmine [/b]There is a pinned thread with the Bank application inside that one would fill out and send to an Exec listed. We have both peace time banking and war time banking now so requirements are a little different for each. There's almost always someone from bank around to answer any questions a Comrade would have and we're always happy to help.

[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]Yeah, I have seen a lot of bankers milling around I just thought they were lost.

[b]Jasmine [/b]Thread can be found here: **Link to internal thread**

[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]A couple of internal aid projects I've seen. Like Golden $, how are they holding up for you?

[b]Jasmine [/b]So far since Golden $ was presented in the beginning of February, the project has aided over 1.5B in internal aid. We also have jump started projects with Mentors and MilCom so that every member is well taken care of in regards to aid.

[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]That's amazing... Over 1.5billion aid sent out. Any Advice for the every day Pacifican? Dealing with bank, investments.

[b]Jasmine [/b]Dealing with?

[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]Contacting stuff like that. The all around interaction with bank.

[b]Jasmine [/b]A general view of Banking can be found here: **Link to internal thread** It lists the different departments and who to contact for which area

[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]Hehe, lets give the readers a list of who to annoy.

[b]Jasmine [/b]Exactly

[b]Zblueblur0 [/b]Anyhow, Thank you for the enlightening interview.

[b]Jasmine [/b]Anytime :0[/quote]

[b]9:30AM[/b]
The door was opened and in walked Director Brennan alongside General Navblue. I took this as my cue to finish up my interview and scram. I bid Jasmine a good day, and gave a quick salute to General Nav. As I was walking down the hall, I knew I had done it, I had caught the break I was looking for and had nailed it. The worst was over, now came my time to shine. "All in a good day's work," as a wise man had told me once.


Written by Zblueblur0
The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events.
Proudly Part of PNN



[size="4"][b]Mysterious Radio Signal Detected From Pacifica[/b][/size]


[img]http://img638.imageshack.us/img638/234/radio01.jpg[/img]


First everyone brushed it off as nonsensical rumors, well, in Cyberverse you are never short of such items anyway, while many laughed it off as accidents – perhaps electric interference or malfunctioning Cruise Missile guidance systems. Yet, the transmission continued throughout the month, and the pattern in the signal appears to be repetitive. Listeners across Planet Bob grow even more excited as certain symbols are deciphered. Some intent observers who tracked the signal days and nights swear that they hear what sounds like music. Now, the mystery is unveiled, and every Cybernation shudders in orgasmic tremor.

Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Radio Free Pacifica is on the air again.

Reported to be technically dead for some time, the Radio Free Pacifica, abbreviated as RFP, is confirmed by Pacifican officials to be up and running ever again. With vengeance. Reformed under Emperor Cortath’s supervision, RFP is now improved in many aspects. The DJs are professional, thanks to the new intensive training program, the songs range in wider variety, the schedule is more punctual, and songs are exclusively selected from the pool of music which will inspire listeners to commit noble deeds in Cybernations just by hearing them. So, yes, to sum it all up, RFP is back and more awesome than ever.

If you ever feel unwanted by your Tech Raiders or happen to need some music to blare from your computer as you Ground Attack some unfortunate victims, feel free to tune in our homely Radio Free Pacifica http://radio.pacificorder.net/ . Every alliance is welcomed, and to those who are about to rock – we salute you.


Written by Thomas Richmond
The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events.
Proudly Part of PNN




[i]"... aren't they all long-haired freaks who never bathe or wear shirts?"

"I don't care what your excuse is," replied Media Director Brennan. "PNN still needs an article on someone more evil than the NPO and you need to work off your month-long drinking binge. Now get out and go do the damn interview."

With that, I gathered together my empty vodka bottles with the goal of chucking them at Brennan's car as I went by and left his office after passing out in it the night before. A quick trip to Lord Valleo's private bathroom later and I was all set to go out and conduct...[/i]



[size=4][b]Interview with Desperado, Phoenix Federation[/b][/size]


[img]http://img.timeinc.net/time/2007/top_10_photos/quotes_hamas.jpg[/img]


The first challenge was finding a vehicle. With all spare technology being sent to outside investors, many Pacificans had to trade in their automobiles for more low-tech options, such as camels. Which are fine if you're just tooling around downtown Francograd, picking up one of the three chicks that live there. Unfortunately, camels are very inadequately prepared for the tough trek between Francograd, which sits on the coast of the Pacific Ocean, and Mhawkistan, the capital of The Phoenix Federation, which was currently squatting in an abandoned piece of land near the rolling green sheep fields of Pansyikistan. No, I was going to need something much more substantial to make this inter-continental trip. I was thinking of some sort of rocket-propelled snow sled or maybe enough drugs that I would just [i]be there[/i].

It was at this point that I was kidnapped by several terrorists wearing what appeared to be mushrooms on their heads. I don't know how they slipped by the Pacifican Praetorian Guard, but as I was cutting in front of a oblivious bum in the line for the soup kitchen, a black van with "Free Candy" spraypainted on the side screeched to a halt next to me, opened up, and sucked me inside. Well, the people in the van swallowed me up. The van itself did not; that would just be silly. I was blindfolded and got pushed around a lot, which hurt me emotionally as much as it did physically. They kept referring to what I can only guess was their leader as "bros" which confused me as he was just one man and that term normally means that there are more than just one bro. Using this as my sole piece of evidence, I concluded that these guys were small-time terrorists who probably weren't all that bright and that I could easily talk my way out of this.

"Gentlemen," I said calmly as I was being shoved into a small crate and loaded into a cargo plane. "This must be some mistake."

"No. We have the right man," said the one everyone was referring to as bros. "You are Squintus, the yellow journalist who reported that certain kinds of mushrooms made consumers more likely to be abducted by aliens?"

"Uh... no, of course not. My name is Vladimir and I know of no such article."

One of the henchman interjected: "The same Vladimir that kicked my dog and burned my garage down last summer?"

"What, no, did I say 'Vladimir'? I meant to say that my name was Mary the Fantabulous and I'm the nicest IRC user ever."

Another henchman cut in: "The same Mary the Fantabulous that beat me bloody with a Scrabble board and sent winged neutral monkeys after my son when he was in school?"

"Is there anyone you don't have a grievance against? 'Cause that's who I am."

"Oh, alright. Sorry for the mistake."

With that, they promptly dumped me out of the plane at 30,000 feet and I plummeted back down to Planet Bob. Luckily, the plane had been directly over the sheep fields of Pansyikistan and a large and violated-looking sheep cushioned my fall. I could hear someone yelling at me - something to the effect of "how dare you use my darling wife as a landing cushion to avoid death!" - so I quickly brushed myself off, propped the sheep back up, and strolled away whistling innocently. I then started sprinting away innocently after I heard the first shotgun blast.

[It is here that large splotch of blood and/or urine stained my notes to the point where I could not make out what exactly I had documented. I shall assume I fought off zombies who were armed with chainsaws while I beat Chuck Norris in an arm-wrestling contest while taming a wild bear.]

Eventually though, I made it to the border of Mhawkistan. A very wary-looking border guard stepped out of his checkpoint booth and met me near the gate.

"I'm a Pacifican citizen here to interview one of your government people for a thing I have to do to make my boss happy."

"Do you have any sort of identification?"

"Can someone who isn't a Pacifican citizen do this? [img]http://pacificorder.net/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/2ytqyqh.png[/img]"

He did not appear as impressed as I hoped he would be, so I did it a couple more times, getting closer to his face with each repetition so as to facilitate his seeing of it. Eventually, he was sufficiently creeped out and let me by.

"Good man, I knew you'd make the right call in the end," said I as I patted him on the back whilst pulling his wallet out of his back pocket.

Using the guard's spare change, I placed a collect call to Phoenix Taxi and Gardening Services, which I mentally filed away should I ever need gardening services done on my taxis or taxi services done on my garden. As we made our short 8-hour drive across the city, the driver explained how all the recent war had reduced a lot of the area to rubble. He dodged a bomb-shaped pot hole in the road and continued chatting, apparently happy to find someone he could talk to. After several minutes, I began feigning deafness while muttering softly to myself. He stopped making eye contact after that.

Finally, after this whole crazy journey, I made it to the offices of Desperado. Well, "offices" isn't quite accurate. More like "Desperado's Mom's House". But whatever the building was classified as, I was there. I checked my watch, noting that I was 4 days late and smelled like sheep. Nah, he won't mind. I casually approached the front door, ignoring the swears of the taxi driver whom I had neglected to pay, and casually kicked in the door. To be safe, I then tried the doorbell. No answer. I found the kitchen and began pouring myself a glass of juice from a container labeled "Twitagra: Viagra meets Twitter in Juice form!" when I heard someone moving around upstairs. I creeped up the stairs and starting looking around, eventually finding that the source of the noise was the very man I was looking for, Desperado, who had sleep-stumbled to his computer and was busy conducting The Phoenix Federation's foreign affairs. I quickly took advantage of the situation and began asking the questions I had lined up for him.


[quote][b]Squintus[/b]: Congratulations, you've won an interview with the Pacific News Network! What is your official position within the TPF?

[b]Desperado[/b]: High magistrate, aka - Troublemaker.

[b]Squintus[/b]: What do your duties entail for this position?

[b]Desperado[/b]: Pretty much the #2 position in the alliance, cover just about everything in some shape or form.

[b]Squintus[/b]: What sort of experiences did you have fighting the BiPolar War?

[b]Desperado[/b]: Well, we didn't fight too much. Ended up fighting Immortals and then they surrendered. Ended up tech raiding wapa for a bit before VE came in but then the whole war was wrapping up as is, so that ended quickly as well. Lots of damage when ya have a WRC and 40k nation strength

[b]Squintus[/b]: What post-war plans do you have?

[b]Desperado[/b]: Well, maybe as an alliance we will actually rebuild Haven't really done much of that since Karma.

[b]Squintus[/b]: If you'd quit getting involved in wars, you wouldn't have this problem.

[b]Desperado[/b]: But then we would end up being the New Pansy Order, like yourselves.

[b]Squintus[/b]: How do you feel your international relationships have been affected by the war?

[b]Desperado[/b]: Well, there is a whole group of people that are collective jackasses that think they run the game now...

[b]Squintus[/b]: How do you guys feel about us?

[b]Desperado[/b]: NPO is the root of all evil. They are ruthless people that have no souls or personalities. No humor.

[b]Squintus[/b]: I'm sorry, I didn't hear that over the sound of my jackboots stomping.

[b]Desperado[/b]: Oh ok, I was busy tipping cows anyway.

[b]Squintus[/b]: Can we look forward to a bright future for the TPF?

[b]Desperado[/b]: By bright, I hope you mean nuking the hell out of people If so, we love to nuke people

[b]Squintus[/b]: Well, thank you very much. I'm sure you have Pacificans to pester and I don't want to take up any more of your time.

[b]Desperado[/b]: Yep [/quote]

With that out of the way, I crashed at his place for a couple weeks - I guess his mom was out of town or something. Eventually, I got myself motivated enough to sit down at a computer and fake the entire interview and email it off to Brennan. I celebrated with some more Twitagra Juice. After another few days, I realized that I had forgotten to empty out the lint trap in my washing machine and if someone were to break into my house and try to do the laundry, they'd start a fire. I couldn't have that on my conscience. So I hitched a ride with a friendly gentlemen who was wearing a pirate hat and a necklace made of the teeth of his various enemies and began my trek back home to Francograd.


Written by Squintus
The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events.
Proudly Part of PNN



[size="4"][b]Krull's Comic Corner[/b][/size]
[i]Alliteration FTW[/i]

Welcome to the First instalment of Krull's Comic Corner, which is totally not a rip off of Squirt's Corner in any way, shape or form. No siree. Anyway, onto the reviews!

[size=3][b]Gotham City Sirens – DC Comics, issue 9[/b][/size]

[img]http://img42.imageshack.us/img42/2240/gothamsirens.jpg[/img]
Riddle me this...why does he have a pink stapler?


This particular series is one should have started picking up earlier. Written by Paul Dini (who did Batman: The Animated Series and related shows) this series follows three of Batman’s Female Villians: Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy and Catwoman, who have (more or less) sworn off a life of crime. As well as following the antics of these three, there is a supporting cast which includes the reformed Riddler, who is now a successful Private Detective, but is struggling with his compulsions and is beginning to long for his prior, illegal lifestyle.

This new story arc is a fairly good jumping on point. Riddler comes back to his office to find the three most dangerous women in Gotham...who need his help. A body has been dumped in the trio’s swimming pool, made up to look like the victim has been killed by each of the Sirens. Since they can’t go to the police, for fairly obvious reasons, they turn to the one person who’d help them. After getting each of the girls’ statements of what they were doing that day (Ivy getting a job, Catwoman getting a check up followed by a sparring session, and Harley...being Harley) Riddler goes to the mansion where the girls live. Quickly confirming the girls aren’t responsible, Riddler goes through the clues, and comes to the correct conclusion just as the villain responsible arrives on the scene, intent on preventing the Riddler from solving this particular case....

I thoroughly enjoyed this issue, and I’m kicking myself for not picking up this series sooner...especially since DC might be cancelling this to make room for new titles soon. The art is great, and it’s nice to have a writer who knows these characters inside out. The focus of this issue is mainly on the Riddler, and we see the unfolding of events, and the analysis of the crime scene through his perspective. You end up really feeling for the guy as he tries to satiate his compulsion for riddles through honest detective work. For a new reader, this issue isn’t a bad start, as prior events in the series are explained seamlessly through the narrative. The only niggle I have about is that I have never heard of the villain revealed at the end, although given Batman’s huge rogues gallery, this isn’t a surprise.

[size=4][b]9.5[/b] / 10[/size]


[size=2][b]Quote of the issue:[/b][/size]

[b]Poison Ivy: [/b]It would be a crime to waste my life, oh, say, watching cartoons and vegging on the internet.
[b]Harley Quinn: [/b]Right – HEY!



[size=3][b]Ultimate Enemy – Marvel, Issue 2[/b][/size]

[img]http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/8545/300pxultimatecomicsenem.jpg[/img]
You can’t see it, but the eyepatch says “Bad $%^&@#”

This issue is issue 2 of a four part miniseries from the Revamped Ultimate Marvel line (now Ultimate Comics, but the comics bit seems to have been quietly dropped, so it’ll be ignored for this review). The Ultimate line is entirely separate from Marvel’s ‘main’ universe, and was started in around 2001 in order to take well known characters such as the X-men, Spiderman and the Fantastic Four in entirely new directions without decades of stories holding them back. Recently, the critically derided Ultimatum crossover event was used to retool the entire Ultimate line, with a few series’ being dropped with a couple of new ones taking their place.

Issue 2 isn’t a good jumping on point for new readers (Yeah, I chose this one so I could make a Samuel L Jackson joke about the cover). The issue starts straight where the last one left off, with Nick Fury being attacked by an unknown super powered assailant in the middle of New York. Spiderman and the Human Torch (who has now moved in with Spidey after the FF disbanded) intervene. Meanwhile, the Baxter building, where Invisible Woman still works despite the disbandment, is being attacked by some...purple monster thing. The same organism which attacked the Roxxon building last issue, and from which Spider Woman had to rescue as many employees of the corrupt company as she could...which isn’t much. The story then moves to Spider Woman’s apartment....where she is attacked by the same creature that attacked Fury. She manages to escape, and the story switches back to the others, who’ve realised that the Baxter Building was the target of the huge organism....

I have to admit, even as someone who has been following Ultimate Spiderman, I’m kind of confused by the plot of this miniseries. Therefore, I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone who hasn’t read either Ultimate Spiderman or Ultimate Fantastic Four., so you at least get an understanding of the characters. The main strongpoint of this story is the characterisations, which you can’t really appreciate without some familiarity about these characters. That’s Michael Bendis’ main strongpoint as a writer, but his weakness is his assumption that the reader has an in-depth knowledge of the Ultimate line and prior Ultimate stories. You’re supposed to know what Nick Fury has been up to, what Spiderwoman’s origin is, why the FF broke up, etc, etc. None of this is conveyed through the narrative. That being said the art is good, and there are a few moments with some impact...although a certain revelation near the end lacks impact, the cliffhanger does. This one is definitely the weaker issue of the miniseries so far, issue 1 was far better. I advise waiting for the trade when it comes out, as at the moment I’m now sure how this is going to be settled plot wise with 2 issues to go. There are two more related miniseries after this one, so I guess Bendis is going for a huge story arc deal...which doesn’t really work for me.


[size=4][b]6.0[/b] / 10[/size]


[size=2][b]Quote of the issue:[/b][/size]

[b]Nick Fury: [/b]what’s your bug-sense telling you now?
[b]Spiderman:[/b] My what?
[b]Nick Fury: [/b]Your danger sense.
[b]Spiderman: [/b]How do you know I have one?
[b]Nick Fury:[/b] Cuz I’m me.


Images are copyright of DC comics and Marvel, respectively.


Written by Krulltopia
The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events.
Proudly Part of PNN


[center]* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *[/center]

[center][size="3"][b]PNN International Issue 4 [/b]Ends Here
The Next Issue of [b]PNN International[/b] Coming Soon - Stay Tuned![/size] [/center]

[Sephiroth]

[quote name='Thomas Richmond' date='15 March 2010 - 12:53 AM' timestamp='1268629153' post='2226059']
It was at this point that I was kidnapped by several terrorists wearing what appeared to be mushrooms on their heads.
[/quote]
There is only one alliance I can think of those could be from.

Great issue, something for everyone in there.

[Ellis]

Another good issue from PNN

[supercoolyellow]

A wee bit long , but desperado was a fantastic choice to interview

[Lord Curzon]

Congratulations to NeCoHo on his appointment. We miss you bud.

[theArrowheadian]

Radio is broken.

[TypoNinja]

[quote name='theArrowheadian' date='15 March 2010 - 01:13 AM' timestamp='1268633933' post='2226123']
Radio is broken.
[/quote]

This, Had me all excited, I remembered RFP from way back GW2/3 days when hawk ran it, awesome !@#$.

Somebody better tell me on IRC next time its up

[letub]

Congrats Necoho

also

<3 JJ

[New Frontier]

Boo hiss. Get Necoho out of there.

[Corinan]

Needed.

More.

Doppelganger.

[Brenann]

[quote name='Corinan' date='15 March 2010 - 12:13 PM' timestamp='1268673511' post='2226370']
Needed.

More.

Doppelganger.
[/quote]
We gave you your own interview last time... so enough out of you.

[Desperado]

That Squintus is a sneaky one.

[Jacapo Saladin]

That's it Mary, first doppelganger, now DESPERADO? This is just a slap in the face. Next issue mary... Next issue....

[Cortath]

Another excellent issue from the Pacific Press!

However, I must say, one should never cook a chuckling Blackbird! *chuckles*

[ty345]

The Desperado interview was perhaps the greatest thing I've ever read. Kudos.

[Heyman]

Desperado: He thinks he is.

Also, good issue.

[Vilien]

My congratulations to Necoho on his victory.

[heggo]

Not enough Doppelganger. Or Heggo, for that matter. But especially not enough Doppelganger.

[Mary the Fantabulous]

[quote name='Jacapo Saladin' date='15 March 2010 - 06:38 PM' timestamp='1268696617' post='2226690']
That's it Mary, first doppelganger, now DESPERADO? This is just a slap in the face. Next issue mary... Next issue....
[/quote]

Still no, bud.

[Holy Ruler]

Nice piece there.

[AtheistRepublican]

I can't [i]believe[/i] you gave Sirens a higher ranking than Ultimate Enemy.

Other than that, another lovely issue!

[NeCoHo]

[quote name='Lord Curzon' date='15 March 2010 - 01:51 AM' timestamp='1268632632' post='2226108']
Congratulations to NeCoHo on his appointment. We miss you bud.
[/quote]
Thank you, you're great group of people.

[quote name='letub' date='15 March 2010 - 12:03 PM' timestamp='1268669334' post='2226333']
Congrats Necoho

also

<3 JJ
[/quote]

Thank you!

[quote name='New Frontier' date='15 March 2010 - 01:09 PM' timestamp='1268673317' post='2226368']
Boo hiss. Get Necoho out of there.
[/quote]

You know you love me deep down where your soul is hiding.

[quote name='Vilien' date='15 March 2010 - 08:41 PM' timestamp='1268700411' post='2226765']
My congratulations to Necoho on his victory.
[/quote]

I'm finally one step closer to matching the level of power Vilien has in his own alliance. Thank you.