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A GOONS Announcement


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Responsibility is not always an easy thing to wield. In every leader's career, they will be faced with moments where they must consider whether or not the best use of their power is to pass it on. GOONS is my home and I want nothing more than for it to prosper under a driven and competent leadership. Due to the circumstances of life I am now only able to fulfill half of that role. I'll let you guess which.

For this reason I officially resign from my position as Co-Pilot of GOONS, and I appoint [b]JT_Jag[/b] to be my successor as selected by the GOONS time-honoured "smell test" tradition. To take JT_Jag's seat on the GOONS Council we have selected [b]KingShibby[/b]. A new Dongmaster to replace KingShibby will be decided at a later date.

Signed
[i]Ktarthan, GOONS Emeritus[/i]

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[size=20pt][b]A Message From The Office Of The [img]http://cngoons.com/Board/Themes/argentum20rc3/images/Masks/GOON_CoPilot.png[/img][/b][/size][/center]

Well, let me just say, it has been a [i]wild[/i] ride. I started my career as a member of the Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence and Sadism after clicking on an enticing recruitment advertisement from our home land of Something Awful, a little over one year ago. During the Bi-Polar War, I took leadership responsibility over a platoon of other goons around my size, and this effort completely burnt me out, essentially driving me away from Bob for around five months or so. I never could have imagined that after that experience, I could have risen as high as I have as quickly as I have, and on more than one occasion during my self-imposed exile I almost lost my nation entirely. I simply did not have the motivation.

But one day, several months ago, for a reason I do not completely remember, I logged onto our IRC channel on a whim for the first time in months. Just to check up. The alliance had flourished in my absence, had gone from below a million collective nation strength after the Bi-Polar War to competing for a sanction. I was inspired, and wanted to get involved again. I wanted to help take the alliance to the next level.

I signed up as a diplomat, and tried my hand at speaking to the many other alliances of Planet Bob. Apparently, I was good at this, because a few months afterwards I was awarded with a government position. I continued my work, and a few months after that, here we are.

GOONS sometimes catches flak from people who do not understand our internal processes as being unstable at the government level. Some (ignorantly) claim that our government is simply a "good old boys" club of members of the Goon Order of Neutral Shoving. And still others have claimed that it is a dictatorship, consisting of Sardonic at the head and those he has hand-picked at advisory positions. But I think that my rise to this position debunks these claims.

I was never in Neutral Shoving--- in fact, never in any other alliance besides this iteration of GOONS. Sardonic and I work together well, but I am not a "yes man". In an alliance of 300 people (and growing), I think I am proof that we are a meritocracy: However much effort you are willing to put in, however much talent you can exhibit, you can and will rise to the level you deserve. And I think that is how every alliance should operate.

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[quote name='LittleRena' timestamp='1299178021' post='2651304']
Good luck to you and to GOONs under new leadership
[/quote]
That's "GOONS", not "GOONs". It's not funny.

Anyway congratulations to the newly positioned.

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[quote name='LittleRena' timestamp='1299178652' post='2651318']
No, it's definiatly GOONs
[/quote]

That's "definitely" not "definiatly".

Can you not go four words without misspelling something?

Edited by Dr Beefstupid
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Can we please not derail my ascension thread with mindless bickering over the spelling of my alliance's acronym? I have a very fragile sense of self worth, and will feel like a failure of a human being if I don't get a minimum of thirty (30) mindless hails. Get to it.

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[quote name='JT Jag' timestamp='1299179771' post='2651340']
Can we please not derail my ascension thread with mindless bickering over the spelling of my alliance's acronym? I have a very fragile sense of self worth, and will feel like a failure of a human being if I don't get a minimum of thirty (30) mindless hails. Get to it.
[/quote]

Good point, this thread is now about telling JT Jag stories

JT Jag iss a ten-foot tall beast man, who showers in vodka, and feeds his baby shrimp scampi.

If you drop a phonograph needle on JT Jag's nipple, it plays the Beach Boys Pet Sounds.

JT Jag once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!

Did I ever tell you about the time JT Jag took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally JT takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and, sure enough, someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. He yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found 'em!'

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