Dr Beefstupid

I have to admit, this wasn't bad.

I'm sooo sooo upset that you make yourself look like an idiot every time you open your mouth. Look at me cry about how absurd and stupid you look. That just hurts my feelings so much, Alterego.

Wow, did you really miss the point by that much? No, I think he just didn't read the whole thing. Because in CN, understanding the facts is less important than weighing in with your opinion.

Glad to see you back on your feet. That was quite the flesh wound.

Not bad. I would say it's far from "funniest ever" but it was pretty decent.

I haven't been active on the OWF. If you see one you want me to read, PM me.

Episode 4: "Secret Police" Thread referenced: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=106450&view=findpost&p=2839304

Haha! Well done, sir.

Thanks for the tip. This post isn't as funny to me, but I can sort of see the humour in it. If you have any more, keep 'em coming.

Heh, it's the same reader. This is my personal series. It isn't really a group effort. Other goons sometimes suggest ones, though.

My dear sir, I could do nothing with my humble voice that could add any genius to your already stellar posting.

You know, I get the impression from your post that you legitimately are trying to start an intelligent discussion so I'll try to speak my mind honestly. Whether or not it's you specifically, I have dealt with a lot of anti-GOONS people like you who will argue in circles and will be totally unable to admit to the fact that they're using circular logic or fallacies to make their point and for the sake of sanity, it's usually more fun, interesting, and productive to just laugh at them and move on. The reason why I attack someone's character is because attacking their argument is like headbutting a brick wall. They're unable and very much unwilling to admit they've made a single mistake, so why bother trying? So yes, it is very much my "coping mechanism" because it's really hard to wrap my mind around the all-out insanity that comes from certain members of the OWF. I wouldn't be flattered. I wouldn't have responded to your comment at all if it hadn't been brought to my attention specifically as material for my next episode. The fact that I chose to make fun of you rather than to respond with an actual argument is because I didn't think it was worth bothering with. However, since you took the effort to start this discussion, I've decided I will bother. So here are the MANY things wrong with what you said: I will give you this much: GOONS did not "win the war". We were on the winning side and we did it cooperatively with MK and Umbrella. We wouldn't have won this on our own. That does not mean we did poorly or that we were dead weight. We fought twelve alliances simultaneously and despite this we managed to come through all right. I attribute this partially to the skill and coordination of GOONS members, but more so to extreme strategic ineptitude on our enemies' parts. I think if more of our enemies were more competent, we would have suffered a lot worse. I won't go into details because I'm not in the practice of helping my enemies to improve. It's better and more amusing to see them continue to fight terribly. I should note that in fairness, some of our enemies such as NSO did a pretty good job. That 66% NS sounds worse than it really is. What was destroyed was the bottom tier that is the easiest by far to rebuild. You should expect to see a large chunk of that rebuilt very soon. As for the people who deleted or left, that's a ridiculous statement and I found it particularly ludicrous to make. GOONS is made up of many new players and we have a pretty high turnover rate. The amount of people who left during war is about par for the course with or without war. In fact, the promise of war brought a huge increase in new recruits. To say that this war caused people to delete or leave in vast numbers is, if anything, the opposite of the truth. We shot way up in number. Now that the war's over, we'll probably see a lot of the newbies get bored and leave. I'm honestly shocked that I even have to explain this. I'm not going to speak in defence of Nippy. He was nominated for WPE and now and then he'll say something crazy, but I have to at least thank him for provoking the insanity that you produced. Let's ignore the grammatical butchering of the first sentence. This is such an incredibly thick-headed response I can't even believe you would defend it. This is the sort of post you make where later on you go back and say "Wow, yeah, I don't know what I was going on about." This was either entirely an attempt at provoking an angry response, or a total refusal to live in reality. 1. OH LOL GOONS SCREWS UP A LOT OF RAIDS. This was thoroughly debunked when Schattenmann tried to post his shocking expose on GOONS raids and I'm surprised people are still arguing it. Yes, there were incidents. We have a large number of low-tier newbies and now and then some of them will screw up. This was not out-of-control. Over time, this amount has been hugely reduced and those incidents that remained were almost universally dealt with to the satisfaction of all involved. 2. OH YOU POOR GOONS CAN'T HANDLE A FEW ROGUES. What I find particularly crazy about your post here is that you actually acknowledge we're in the right to sanction rogues but still make a jab that we only do it because we have to. This is kind of contradictory. We deal with rogues quite a lot, so we've gotten pretty good at handling it. We sanction them so we can deal with them as efficiently as possible. Why would you even think we would sanction out of fear? We just fought twelve alliances at once without flinching, so why would a rogue cause us to wet our pants? 3. YOU GUYS ARE NOTHING BUT MEATSHIELDS TO MK AND UMBRELLA. I will partially agree that we acted as meatshields. Honestly in this instance I feel that was the best strategy. It's not to say we were incapable of fighting or that we contributed nothing else to warfare. We've dealt a huge amount of damage to our opponents. But we could argue back and forth about this one issue forever. I can at least understand your reasoning for this one as opposed to the other two, which are so out there I have to squint. Do I even need to bother? I don't even know how someone can say we're a trainwreck of ineptitude after seeing how our opponents performed in this war. I can't even count the number of hilarious rookie mistakes I saw our opponents use, let alone the overall strategies that alliances as a whole resorted to. A new recruit, having been in this game for two weeks could spot the major flaws here. Oh. Yeah. Because AoO are definitely going to run into trouble from nations with 15k NS. I'm not sure if anyone explained this to you, but there's an NS range and you can't declare war on someone significantly lower than you in NS. What problems are AoO going to have over 15k NS when they have an overall membership of fifteen, and only two of those nations are in that range? GOONS currently has 18 members over 15k NS, so even if some magical phantom shows up and despite being old enough to have a very large nation, still decides "Hey, it would be funny to push around a protected AA" we actually have options. What point were you going for with this remark? Hurr hurr. Boy, you've got our number. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you haven't read our building guides. Compared to war, it's much more subtle and harder to critique someone's building so I'm really wondering what you're basing this remark on. We fought a lot of people in this last war and we're able to see all the strategic failings firsthand. Have you been carefully studying every single GOONS nation to see how we're maximizing our nation building? That's the only way I can see for you to be able to scoff at it. Or are you just looking at our graph and noticing that our overall strength is not increasing that much and figure it's because of lousy building practices? If so, has it occurred to you that very little nation growth happens when you're in and out of war as often as we are, and have as high a turnover rate as we do? Herein lies the hypocrisy of your statement: This would have more weight if your post wasn't made up of immature jabs. I will at least admit that I prefer to attack character than debate. It's more fun and usually yields more results. But you can't honestly make remarks like "GOONS is good for nothing except screwing up raids" and then pretend you're above making petty slights against character. In conclusion, you smell.

...really? So let me get this straight. You read this post and thought it was a well-thought-out response that only sounds stupid when I do a funny voice? Obviously not "any post" that insults GOONS goes into one of my episodes. I have to find one that's particularly funny. I'd like to say I'm equal opportunity and will make fun of any stupid post, even if it's on my own side or has nothing to do with GOONS, but that's hard to back up. The fact is that I don't read much of the OWF except GOONS threads so that and suggestions I get sent in are where I get my material. If you find something really ridiculous and funny that someone on my side said, send it along and I'll be happy to mock it. I just don't see a whole lot of them. Seeing as you find my voice horrible and my modus operandi stupid, you don't sound like a fan, so I won't hold my breath waiting for your suggestions. P.S. I capitalized "memoryproblems" because it's grammatically correct to begin a sentence with a capital letter. I guess I'm picky that way. I think it's pretty hilarious that you see this as an attempt to insult him. "Haha, I capitalized your name! So there!"

Episode 3: "Hunchback Wars" Memoryproblems, this is 2 for 3. Let some of the other bad posters have a turn. Thread referenced: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=102492&st=40&p=2728771entry2728771

Episode 2: "From the Body Republic of the New Pacific Order" In reference to: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=102403

Let me make sure I understand you. Peggy Sue starts a forum thread specifically to complain about sanctions. This is considered to just be just a playful taunt. I make a blog entry that makes fun of her post. This is considered to be making a big deal out of it. Sanctioning rogues is pretty standard practice, but it's so cute how you think we're the only alliance who would stoop to this. Try using a little bit of logic. See if you can string these thoughts together in a coherent line: 1. When rogues attack us, we contact other alliances and politely request sanctions. 2. The other alliances usually agree without any objections and the sanction takes place. Are you following so far? Notice how the sanction feature exists? Notice what the other alliances consider to be an acceptable usage for sanctions? You can't possibly connect these dots to a coherent logical statement that says "GOONS are the only alliance that use sanctions against rogues" Methrage, I honestly wonder how you function in your day-to-day life. Do you have trouble getting to work because you can't get on a bus without totally being unable to figure out the next step?

Here's my new series where I do dramatic readings of bad CN forum posts. Episode 1: "Dear GOONs" In reference to: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=102350

What have you done!?

u mad?

Something must be very extremely wrong with me, because it sort of looks like you said this and actually meant it.

tl;

Heh. None of my comics have been about you so far.

Okay, you got me. This is probably the laziest metaphor I've ever come up with. Here's a better one I did back during Roguefest 2010: http://www.heisanevilgenius.com/cybernations/politicalcartoon/0008.PNG