Farkistan's Terms Fulfilled

[TumultuousPapaya]

Awhile back a white peace was reached between The Corporation, Farkistan, SNAFU, BAPS, Brengstklau, and Carpe Diem. It was not a pure white peace, in that all signatories did agree to a single term - to offer beer reviews.

Here's a reminder . . .
[quote][center][size=4][b]
For an hour there I forgot the peace was white[/b][/size]

[img]http://i348.photobucket.com/albums/q341/MainyYak/ShortBus.jpg[/img]

[size=1]Now that the originating parties to the conflict that shall be forever known as the Short Bus War have settled their dispute, the undersigned alliances see no reason to continue hostilities.
[i]{snip}[/i]
This is a white peace with no conditions but one. Planet Bob has blessed its people and nations with abundant resources, and those resources in the proper combination yield bonus resources. Chief among these is beer. [i]Ummmmmm cold, frosty, satisfying beer.........[/i] ......but I digress.[/size]

[img]http://my.jetscreenshot.com/212/m_20100130-fmbi-117kb.jpg[/img]

[size=1]As a condition of this agreement, in order to speed the restoration of friendly relations among our alliances, each alliance shall report on their personal experiences with the magical, mystical blending of barley, hops, water, and yeast. For those of our readers possessing lifetime metro passes on the short bus, we mean beer reviews.

Within a period of 14 days from the execution of this agreement, representative from each of the undersigned alliances shalt wax poetic on the virtues of their favorite brews, real or imagined, by posting in this thread.
[/center]signed

[b]BAPS[/b]

Topgun0820
Moshea
Nobody Expects

[b]Brengstklau[/b]

2Burnt2eat, Emperor
Nick Bar, Minister of Defense

[b]Carpe Diem[/b]

Kirsten, Sovereign

[b]Corporation[/b]

iClean, Chief Executive Officer
Kevin McDonald, Chairman

C-Level Officers:

Bungalo Bill, Chief Security Officer
LegendoftheSkies, Chief Communications Officer
ASROCK, Chief Administrative Officer
Obiwan, Chief Finance Officer

[b]Fark[/b]

Randomly Jim, Submitter
Tumultuous Papaya, Squirrel
Emperor Norton I, Council
Kahiel, Council
idsfa, Council
Pope Rodger, Council
MrCynical, Council

[b]SNAFU[/b][b]
Stetson of Axeland, Grand FUBAR
Madam CaVi of Spehan, Power Behind the Throne
Thoughberry of Newest Amsterdam, In House Leader
Drall of New Phyrexia, Out House Leader
Heheurfunny of Land of Hehe, Director of Damage Control
Raithen of Cataclysm, Director of Alliance Relations
Mista Wigga of Silios, Director of Making Nations Rich
Brunes of Brunston, Director of Illicit Affairs [/size]

[/b][/quote]

Several Farkers have recovered enough from their research to remember they were supposed to write and report on the results.

We begin with Raving MainyYak. As some of you know, Yak is very old. So old, he claims to have met the guy who invented beer brewing back in the day.

[quote]
I present my own home brewed elixir.

[i]Yak's Home brew: Coffee Stout
[IMG]http://i348.photobucket.com/albums/q341/MainyYak/CoffeeStoutbottlelabel.jpg[/img]

This home brew effort features a basic stout home brew recipe. While boiling the wort, I added one pound of Starbucks Columbian whole beans to emphasize the coffee note (and likely added some caffeine to to the mix). This modified kit beer fermented for two weeks in the fermentation bucket, and then another six weeks in a carboy. Killing the yeast is recommended at this point, however, I bottled the brew, allowing the remaining yeast (a nice Australian variety) to work in the bottle. Bottles were capped and allowed to work for between two and 8 weeks. The batch did nothing but improve over time. It was smooth, resembling a Murphy's, but with a definite coffee flavor owing to the coffee added with the hops at the wort stage. The dark Irish malt, dark roasted German barley, and distinctive Washington State hops combined to form a very well balanced beverage. This was and remains the finest batch of home brewed beer I have every produced. I lament the fact that I made only five gallons of this heavenly elixir.[/i]
[IMG]http://i348.photobucket.com/albums/q341/MainyYak/CoffeeStoutnecklabel.jpg[/img]
[/quote]

When not regaling us with tales of the obvious, Romeroland takes seriously his duty to punish the liver for any and all crimes, real or imagined. We did not expect this:

[quote author=RomeroLand]
So awhile back I hear of this "red beer" that Nebraskans just adore. Tomato juice and beer? The hell are they thinking? Around that same time I hear about the Boilermaker in the midwest. This Farking concoction has beer and whiskey combined. No thanks, I'll just stick to my Keystone Light and you idiots can puke outside.

Flash forward, oh I dunno, 10 years and here I am. Logging into Cybernations and mingling with you reprobates. And before I continue any further, our former resident illegal alien, Rheal Lubb, enlightened us on his taste for some concoction called [i]Chelada[/i]. Silly kids. Or so I thought...

Drunk as can be on IRC chit chatting with Rheal I vowed to myself that the next day I would pick up a Chelada at the store and give it a test drive. That day has come and gone and I'm happily to report I have had probably 10-24oz cans of this pinkish liquid within the last week.

[img]http://img44.imageshack.us/img44/8408/chelada1.jpg[/img]
[size=1]even pink domo and woot! monkey lurv this stuff[/size]

This stuff is good. I never had a taste for Bloody Marys but this seems to resemble it in some fashion. A Chelada (according to the can) is Bud Light and clamato which is a clam/tomato liquid hybrid of some sorts. Add to that salt and lime and you can a quite refreshing and flavorful concoction. I can only find them in 24oz cans here in NC, but I imagine there might be other sizes available in better target markets. Putting that aside you don't want to shake the thing before drinking. As the can suggests, you want to slowly roll the can around end over end to mix it up before cracking.

It smells like tomato juice when you take your first sniff. The first sip is lightly carbonated (a plus!) and actually quite flavorful. I don't swish it in my mouth, I just let the liquid momentarily hang out before I swallow it down. Now here's the kicker, the aftertaste is almost non-existent except for a hint of pepper or some kind of spice that lingers around for a minute.

I'm surprised because I thought this stuff was the crap Budweiser scraped off the brewery floor (maybe it is but I don't give a shiat). But this Chelada beer thingee is actually quite good and have been enjoying them as the summer wears down. The only gripe I have is you can't really drink multiple cans in one sitting. So I usually drink one or two then turn to my trusty Keystone or Busch Light to finish myself off.

Romo Rating: Not Obvious, highly unexpected (B+)
[/quote]


Next up, Corbetto is using this opportunity to satisfy two debts for the price of one.

[quote author=Corbetto]

When Tums said "hey, someone needs to write a beer review" I thought, "hey, I promised Bleak Outlook a beer review five months ago when I became Cowbell, what better time to do it than now?" So, I'm killing two birds with one beer review, of [i]Dundee Honey Brown.[/i]

Now, when I first saw the name Dundee Honey Brown, I thought it was the title of some Australian interracial porn. To both my disappointment and my delight, it turned out to be beer.

Most beer reviews written by Farkers are broken down into sections, but I can't do that... because I've drank too much beer. Welcome to a beer review by Corbetto: part beer review, part drunk post. wooooo. So far, so good, no misspellings yetti.

Now down to the srs bsns, the beer review.

Dundee Honey Brown is near ubiquitous at this point, you can find it damned near anywhere. And, after drinking perhaps a hundred of them, I don't think that's such a bad thing. Think of it like Blue Moon: it's a soft, airy, easy-on-the-palette beer that you can pick up somewhere near you. At my favorite local beer & wine place, Dundee Honey Brown sells for $10.99 for a 12-pack.

DHB (I'm getting drunk on teh stuff, so I'm abbreviating it) pours as a deep amber, dark golden color with a small head. The aroma is light and reminds you of summer, with a hint of sugary goodness provided by the honey. This is a nice lager, with a nice lager taste, where that sugary honey comes in the after-taste. Dundee Honey Brown is a balanced flavor: it isn't hoppy, but it has a nice malt flavor before ending on that delicious happy honey tone. You may have noticed my mention of honey. It's a nice flavor. I like honey, though I'm deathly allergic to bees. Damn you, bees, you help make a beer better.

So, it's a summer beer for most, but for me, I drink it year 'round. Because I like it. And because I like to drink. So what, you wanna fight 'bout it?

Here's a picture so you know what to look for:

[url=http://img684.imageshack.us/i/dundee.jpg/][img]http://img684.imageshack.us/img684/2008/dundee.jpg[/img][/url]
I took the picture on my washing machine so I'd remember where I put my pants in case I puke from drinking all 12 beers.

Oh, and by the way, not only is this a pretty decent beer - I'd give it a solid B if forced to grade it - but the 12-pack was only $10.99 at my favorite local beer and wine place. Yeah, I mentioned that before, but I figured I'd say it again as a plug for my favorite local beer and wine place: Elbe's, at the intersection of Georgia Avenue and University Blvd in Wheaton, Maryland.

Dundee Honey Brown: I'm having one now, why aren't you?
[/quote]

There you have an eclectic trio of brews from the beer snobs of Farkistan. (Suddenly, I feel thirsty, but not thirsty enough for a Chelada.)

Edited February 26, 2010 by TumultuousPapaya

[Ejayrazz]

o/ Grey peace.
Nice, Fark.

[Nobody Expects]

BAPS acknowledges it still owes a beer review and it will be forthcoming shortly. We have been busy of late

[Drai]

I still have doubts about that Tomato beer but I'm tempted to see if I can find one here.

[Coursca]

Tomato beer...you have piqued my interest, good sir.

[Bob]

Tomato beer? I think I can agree with others when I state I will be looking for this.

[Tomcat]

Personally I think Cheladas are gross as hell. I couldn't take more than two sips of the stuff. I guess you'd have to be a bloody mary fan to like it.

[Fernando12]

Now I really get NSO point of view. Its not that its degrading really, its just that its really not that funny at all.

Anyway, whatever peace to you all.

[wickedj]

[quote name='Fernando12' date='26 February 2010 - 05:51 PM' timestamp='1267224871' post='2205439']
Now I really get NSO point of view. Its not that its degrading really, its just that its really not that funny at all.

Anyway, whatever peace to you all.
[/quote]
Whats it like to not have a sense of humor?

Anyway, im sure Rheal approves of your choice of brew Romo

[Ying Yang Mafia]

Beer reviews? That is a completely unreasonable demand!

[Daikos]

Honey Brown is delicious. [ooc] The brewery is about a 10 minute drive from me [/ooc] I have to say I was surprised to see it pop up in a beer review.

Also, sorry you had to degrade yourself with these terms...

[Gn0xious Jr]

[quote name='Penlugue Solaris' date='26 February 2010 - 02:38 PM' timestamp='1267224121' post='2205430']
Tomato beer? I think I can agree with others when I state I will be looking for this.
[/quote]
to clarify, it isn't tomato beer, it is bud light mixed with v-8... if you are a fan of bloody mary's, you may want to try it. i love bloody mary's and have no desire to try the bud light / v-8 concoction... for one, bud light is gross

[steodonn]

[quote name='Nobody Expects' date='26 February 2010 - 09:24 PM' timestamp='1267219700' post='2205332']
BAPS acknowledges it still owes a beer review and it will be forthcoming shortly. We have been busy of late
[/quote]

A review of bulmers berry would be great if anyone has had some

[Diomede]

[quote name='Gn0xious Jr' date='26 February 2010 - 11:29 PM' timestamp='1267227167' post='2205480']
to clarify, it isn't tomato beer, it is bud light mixed with v-8... if you are a fan of bloody mary's, you may want to try it. i love bloody mary's and have no desire to try the bud light / v-8 concoction... for one, bud light is gross
[/quote]
kinda what I was thinking.
Somebody needs to review Old Rasputin. One of the few stouts I'd buy in bottle form.

[Coursca]

[quote name='Diomede' date='26 February 2010 - 06:38 PM' timestamp='1267227720' post='2205502']
kinda what I was thinking.
Somebody needs to review Old Rasputin. One of the few stouts I'd buy in bottle form.
[/quote]

I agree. Old Rasputin is one of my favorites.

[Tigerdonia Redux]

I tried out Dundee Honey Brown recently.... so tasty.

[Hymenbreach]

Anyone can lose a war. But to give away your self respect? Well, I suppose it is yours to give away.

Edited February 26, 2010 by Hymenbreach

[Arcturus Jefferson]

[quote name='Hymenbreach' date='26 February 2010 - 06:45 PM' timestamp='1267228127' post='2205516']
Anyone can lose a war. But to give away your self respect? Well, I suppose it is yours to give away.
[/quote]
Yes, Fark voluntarily doing their own beer reviews is degrading.

[Sephiroth]

I think its silly to make someone do it who doesn't want to since I see how it can be humiliating if people expect anything out of you and reviewing beer isn't something you do. I'd rather drink to war than peace anyways since I'm winning all my battles now that I'm out of range of Jim Bob and the Goose, these Guru Order nations on me are easy loot so I'll be able to launch 2, 3, maybe 4 nukes tomorrow depending on how much they have.

Edit: Noticed these are from Fark and not the other alliances, so fixed my post to be a little more relevant. A Bud Light variation gets a B+? I can't trust that rating either.

Edited February 27, 2010 by Methrage

[Hymenbreach]

Yeah, I was definitely talking about your contribution.

[kpcurley]

Dundee is a good brew, Suprisingly from Saranac. All other saranac offerings are below average.

[AnCapistan]

These aren't very funny but whatever floats your boat.

[AAAAAAAAAAGGGG]

Good reviews all around. This is making me quite thirsty.

[Stetson76]

Soon after this front ended, SNAFU was approached by Liquid Mercury and asked if he could do our beer review for us...not being one to generally remember much about the beer I drank the night before, I agreed. [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=79614]here[/url] is his effort and we'd like to say thank you.

Also, just so no one else has to dig back in the archives, Brengstklau's review can be found [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=79653]here[/url].

Thanks for the good time Fark, and have fun.

Oh, and as far as Clamato and beer, the first and only time I've seen that (prior to the above review) was off the coast of Western Canada where apparently, Molsen Canadian and Clamato juice is a delicacy. It is definitely no where near the same as V8, nor is it particularly like a bloody mary. It was interesting and I might order it again if I saw it on a menu, but there's no chance that I'd buy clamato juice and bring it in my home...who knows what that stuff REALLY is...

Edited February 27, 2010 by Stetson

[Cairna]

I had a beer last night. It was pretty good.

Terms fulfilled, you're welcome, FARK.