Famous CN Quotes

[Esau of Isaac]

Which explains the underlying angst and boredom in CN's present climate.

http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showuser=74

7,293 posts (8.19 per day)

You will note that in the first four months of this year this was over 9 posts per day. It has since declined drastically; so has the amount of entertainment hereabouts. Correlation = causality.

[Un4Gvn1]

Which explains the underlying angst and boredom in CN's present climate.

http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showuser=74

7,293 posts (8.19 per day)

You will note that in the first four months of this year this was over 9 posts per day. It has since declined drastically; so has the amount of entertainment hereabouts. Correlation = causality.

This post in itself is bound to become famous.

[Kim Jaym Il]

Did Electron Sponge actually say "Strike me down, Cow, and I'll become more powerful than you can imagine" or did someone just think that would make a clever sig image? I asked Sponge once but he was AFK and never answered.

I can't say for sure if he's ever said it, but it was just something I thought up at the time of making it.

[Schattenmann]

So, to put it in visual format:

As we can clearly see, as the number of posts increases towards infinity, so too does entertainment value.

BEGONE, THOU DEMON OF THE WATER COOLER! YOUR REALM IS NOT HERE!

I can't say for sure if he's ever said it, but it was just something I thought up at the time of making it.

Thanks for clearing that up.

[KahlanRahl]

I have a couple funny IRC ones. Used to have some good forum ones but they've been lost...

04/03 07:58pm * KahlanRahl pours more VT milk on Moo-Cows

04/03 07:59pm Moo-Cows: NOOOOOOO

04/03 07:59pm KahlanRahl: YEEESSSSSSSSS

04/03 07:59pm Moo-Cows: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

04/20 12:19am Biff[GPA]: every other BO is probably talking war. We're talking about tap water.

This was, I believe, before the Karma War broke out. Thought that was pretty funny. lolNeutrality

AdTheRat: By the way..

AdTheRat: the banlist is missing

AdTheRat: >_>

KahlanRahl: LOL

bart416: evil AdTheRat

* Moo-Cows groans

Anyone remember this?

[James Wilson]

I would have to say the post that always makes me laugh is this:

I endorse this message simply because I want to see the \m/ thong back in the CN Merchandise Store.

[KahlanRahl]

I found another one, not famous but funny xD

<@TL[AFK]> Rep, did you miss where our alliance prides itself on asshattery?

Edited November 6, 2009 by KahlanRahl

[Inquisitor Tolkien]

I have been looking all over the old CN forums for a particular quote, hopefully someone has it, but anyway, it was in a DoW thread, and a FAN member posted and analyzed the post like: the first line has [number] of words (etc etc, so on and so on), they must be referencing the bible (pulls out a bible quote and then analyzes that one too to determine that it was like everyone in FAN must be something funny).

It was a really long post, but it was epic.

Ah yes, I have it bookmarked.

Mpol's OP

*mpol fires up the HAM station, dials in and prepares to transmit

THIS IS A PUBLIC CHANNEL

THIS IS A PUBLIC CHANNEL

For detailed information on your AO relay through local comms.

*channel pause*

It has come. The time we have all been waiting for and discussing for years. The S has HTF.

About right now you've all grabbed your BOBs and taken the BOV to the BOL. Backup comms are up and running, food stores checked, water filtration running and perimeter secured, so all is well.

SITREP is pretty simple. Assault on the homelands by mixed forces of varying strengths. All Red Dawn style.

I know you're excited and want to rub it in the faces of all the folks who thought you were just another paranoid gun nut. There will be time for that later. Right now you should be concentrating on clearing the cosmoline off the stash and checking preps. A war is about to begin.

I surely don't need to say it, but will anyway. Engage all manners of life within your borders with the intent to destroy. Chem and bio have not been discovered, but cannot be ruled out. Precautions should be taken.

Aid has been offered by several international groups as well as local government. Those useless !@#$%^&* should be killed along with everyone else. They'll only get in the way and suck up resources.

Misinformation, including the entire works of GUNKID, have been distributed to the invading forces. It appears to be working as the enemy has been seen with large stockpiles of wheelbarrows.

Further public announcements on this channel to come.

Shoot to kill. They'll stop when they're dead.

*channel break*

*mpol feels the earth shake as the bombs drop atop the bunker, laughs to himself and pours another scotch

EDIT: OOC: To the mods. This is not spam. I understand not everyone speaks 'gunny', so our messages might not read right to all. If necessary we can have someone translate it.

The Response

It's clearly a coded message with subtle hints as to the true meaning. Let me explain,

In the first line, mpol mentions the "HAM" station, capitalizing all three letters. The word has three letters, the number three being a prime number. He then capitalizes "THIS IS A PUBLIC CHANNEL," a message containing five words, five being another prime number. He repeats this message twice emphasizing it's importance. Then, he capitalizes AO, a single set containing two letter, two being another prime number. Next, he both capitalizes and bolden "S, HTF," seperating this message into two sets, the first containing only one letter, "S," and the second set containing three letters, "HTF." The first set has only one letter because one is a prime number and the second set has only three letters because three is a prime number. He goes on to capitalize "BOB," "BOV," and "BOL" also, three sets of three letters.

He then breaks with form and capitalizes SITREP and GUNKID, the only other words he fully capitalizes. Both words contain six letters, making them not prime number. The sequence of prime numbers given so far is as follows:

3-5-2-1-3-3-3-3

The "SITREP" and "GUNKID" give us a 6-6 at the end.

Adding up the primes gives us the number 23. There were 27 written lines in the message (excluding his later edit) which, when the 6-6 are added, gives us the number 39. The message also begins and ends with the author's name, mpol, which contains four letters. When we add four to 39, we get the number 43.

Now the very last line of the original message reads: "*mpol feels the earth shake as the bombs drop atop the bunker, laughs to himself and pours another scotch"

He inserts a comma into the message in an awkward way, signifying a break in this sentence for a specific reason. There are 12 letters before the comma and seven after it. This gives us the number 12 and 7 to work with also. The final number is an obvious reference to none other than God himself, as seven is considered a complete and perfect number and is the number of days that Genesis accounts for during creation. Therefore, we must now crack open our Bibles.

The numbers we have to work with are 23, 43 and 12. The 23 is an obvious reference to the 23rd book of the Bible, Isaiah. The 43 obviously references a chapter and the number 12 references the line. Isaiah 43:12 reads:

"I have revealed and saved and proclaimed—

I, and not some foreign god among you.

You are my witnesses," declares the LORD, "that I am God."

As everyone knows, the English transcription of Adonai, the Hebrew word for God, is actually Jehovah. It also contains the word witnesses which is too coincidental to ignore.

Thus, the only possible conclusion that can be drawn from this message is that the final act of all FAN members will be to become Jehovah's Witnesses. The mystery is solved.

[Chigurh]

Anybody recall...

I may have missed it somewhere in here, but what was the one way back in GW 2 or 3 when the G.O.L.D. government member got his IRC screens confused and told NPO Official that voting was in progress on going to war with the NPO by mistake?

It was something like:

"Are you voting to go to war with us?"

"No!, well maybe, crap- yeah".

[Bilrow]

Anybody recall...

I may have missed it somewhere in here, but what was the one way back in GW 2 or 3 when the G.O.L.D. government member got his IRC screens confused and told NPO Official that voting was in progress on going to war with the NPO by mistake?

It was something like:

"Are you voting to go to war with us?"

"No!, well maybe, crap- yeah".

You mean this:

[23:15] <Bakunin> You might as well just tell me if you're attacking. Every time you evade the question, I assume you will be and prepare for our response.

[23:16] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> You've been preparing ever since you heard the first rumour

[23:16] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> beofre then even

[23:16] <Bakunin> Actually, the first I heard of GOLD going to war was today.

[23:16] <MadMike[GOLD]MoD> we need to get the last couple SC members in to vote howdo

[23:16] <MadMike[GOLD]MoD> oops wrong topic

[23:17] <Bakunin> So the GOLD SC is currently voting on going to war?

[23:17] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> ...

[23:17] <MadMike[GOLD]MoD> no!!!

[23:17] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> maybe

[23:17] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> no!!

[23:17] <Bakunin> uh-huh

[23:17] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> >_<

[23:17] <DarkMistress> lol

[23:17] <Bilrow[GGA]> Protip: check window you are typing in before you make a mistake like that ;p

[23:18] <electron_sponge> BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[23:18] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> yeah he will check the flippin window next time

[23:18] * Howso[GOLD_Premier] backslaps the MoD

[23:18] <Bakunin> Well, now that that's out in the open, may I ask how said vote is likely to turn out?

[23:19] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> you may ask what you wish

[23:19] <electron_sponge> lol

[23:19] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> but i am still bound my goldsec not to tell a soul

[23:19] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> and I'm afraid you are no exception to the rule

[23:19] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> *that rule

[23:20] <Bakunin> Understandable. I just hope the people who haven't voted realize what the consequences of joining this war will be for your alliance's well-being.

[23:21] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> I've no doubt they'll decide what's best for GOLD

[23:21] * MadMike[GOLD]MoD facepalms

[23:22] <MadMike[GOLD]MoD> i am such a retard some times

[23:22] <Bakunin> So is there any way I can talk you guys out of digging your own graves?

[23:22] <jert14[CIS]> mm hmm

[23:22] <ALdbeign> [23:22] <MadMike[GOLD]MoD> i am such a retard some times <-- by definition thats called being human my friend

[23:22] <Bakunin> Because I promise you that that is precisely what you will be doing if you declare war.

[23:22] <MadMike[GOLD]MoD> i guess if you say so

[23:22] <jert14[CIS]> or quite the thespian

[23:24] <MadMike[GOLD]MoD> as for a grave are they still 6ftx3ftx6ft deep

[23:24] <MadMike[GOLD]MoD> i am to tall for that

[23:24] <jert14[CIS]> your men are jumping the gun a tad

[23:24] <Bakunin> 9/14/2007 11:21:33 PM

[23:24] <Bakunin> "orders"

[23:24] <Bakunin>

[23:24] <Bakunin> [Team: Yellow]

[23:24] <Bakunin> Cave Dwellers

[23:24] <Bakunin> Ruler: Kerlin

[23:24] <Bakunin> Alliance: Global Organization for Liberty and Defense

[23:24] <Bakunin> [Team: White]

[23:24] <Bakunin> Chucknorland

[23:24] <Bakunin> Ruler: Emperor Mike

[23:24] <Bakunin> Alliance: Confederacy of Independent States

[23:24] <Bakunin> Currently Fighting

[23:24] <Bakunin> Is he a rogue? He claims he has orders.

[23:25] <jert14[CIS]> i count 4

[23:25] <Bakunin> All right, seems you've made your decision.

[23:25] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> decision?

[23:25] <MadMike[GOLD]MoD> well what are the orders i guessi have to check that out, i should know what they are being the MoD and all

[23:26] <Bakunin> If there's any big red "abort" button you can push right now, I'd certainly recommend it if you plan on GOLD's continued existence.

[23:26] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> aye aye, ego's in the final vote is about to be cast

[23:27] <Bakunin> If not, I'm sure FAN's looking forward to being the largest yellow alliance again.

[23:27] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> i'm sure they are

[23:27] <Howso[GOLD_Premier]> especialy with the 200 mil we gave them 4 days ago

[23:28] <Bakunin> So you admit that GOLD willfully sent aid to FAN?

[Sequoia Throne]

God I remember seeing that a long time ago, holy crap that's hilarious

[Caliph]

My favorite quote was when some guy (forget his name) said something along the lines of "we weren't spying on you, we sent a spy to see if you were spying on us".

[Chigurh]

Thanks Bilrow, that was it

[Stormsend]

Which explains the underlying angst and boredom in CN's present climate.

http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showuser=74

7,293 posts (8.19 per day)

You will note that in the first four months of this year this was over 9 posts per day. It has since declined drastically; so has the amount of entertainment hereabouts. Correlation = causality.

This demands a little more research.

And now, the absolute best political troll of years past.

Before we begin, we request that members of the New Pacific Order and the New Polar Order refrain from posting in this thread. You have repeatedly requested that we handle problems with you in private, thus we have created a private thread in our embassy on your offsite forum. This letter to Cyberverse is merely to inform them of a Global Alliance policy, so that they too can be knowledgeable on this situation. Therefore, we ask that all posts made by members of the New Pacific Order or by members of the New Polar Order be promptly removed by the moderation staff. Thank you.

And now, we begin.

Our Dear Friends in Cyberverse,

Several days ago, Grenval, the Global Alliance and Treaty Organization’s Minister of Foreign Affairs, revealed a policy that we, the members of the General Assembly of the Global Alliance, did not recognize the New Polar Order as separate from the New Pacific Order, but rather, considered the New Polar Order to be an imperial colony of the New Pacific Order. Immediately, the Order flew into action, questioning our stance and demanding clarification.

So let us clarify.

In early June 2006, the then Assembly Chairman of the Global Alliance, Vercingetorix, wrote a statement which has shaped our policy towards the New Polar Order since. The statement, a draft of which can be found here, indicates our displeasure with the imperialistic creation and underpinnings of the New Polar Order and ends by calling for the New Polar Order to disband. Privately, this statement was treated as notice to the Cyber Nations world that the Global Alliance did not recognize the New Polar Order as an independent entity of the New Pacific Order. However, in public, it appears that the Global Alliance did recognize the New Polar Order as separate. This is a mistaken perception.

Ultimately the blame rests on us for this misconception. We were not clear about our policy, usually choosing to keep it to ourselves so as not to enflame the especially aggressive and hostile New Pacific Order. Unfortunately this resulted in a situation where the New Pacific Order believed we did in fact recognize the New Polar Order. This was caused by inconsistencies in our policy due to a couple of factors. First, previous governments made the mistake of granting an embassy to the New Polar Order, a mistake which has now been corrected. Second, due to the militaristic disposition of the New Pacific Order and its imperial colony, the Global Alliance has been forced to cooperate with the New Polar Order, such as in peace treaty negotiations. This de facto, tacit, recognition of the New Polar Order did not, at any time, equate with a de jure recognition of the New Polar Order. By fact we were forced to work with the New Polar Order in name, but by law we continued to express our disapproval, if only privately. Thus, the inconsistencies in our policies have been unfortunate by-products of need. We needed an end to the war, for it was a greater injustice at the time than simply ignoring the New Polar Order.

In different, out of character, terms, our policy towards the New Polar Order was best explained by Näktergal of the Fifth Column Federation. She noted that our policy reflects similar policies in the real world. She made an analogy to the Cold War. During that time, by law, the United States did not recognize certain communist governments. However, because of the tense nature of the Cold War, similar to the tense relationships between the Global Alliance and the New Polar Order at times, the United States was forced to deal with those communist governments in name and in fact only, without ever officially recognizing our sanctioning them, even while it negotiated with the very governments it had condemned. In this vein, our policy reflects these real world policies where need has and will most likely continue to force us into de facto cooperation with the New Polar Order, despite our legal policies. But apart from such few, rare incidences, the Global Alliance will treat the New Polar Order as an imperial colony in both fact and law.

You may be asking yourself, if you, the Global Alliance, have always felt this way in private, why did you not vocalize it before now? First, as we have already noted, the New Pacific Order has created an exceptionally volatile world at times and we did not wish to enflame them or tip the alliances into war by vocalizing our concerns. We felt, as we have already mentioned, that war between the alliances was a greater injustice than the imperialism of the New Pacific Order. Now, however, we feel that relations have stabilized to the point at which vocalizing our concerns will not devolve into war. Therefore, we do so before you, here today. Second, we thought we had made the policy clear with Vercingetorix’s statement, mentioned above, and thus had no need to continually reiterate it and enflame the Order into possible war, a scenario which would bode ill for all, as explained in the upper half of this paragraph. Third, we confess, we made a mistake. We should have vocalized it even before this time for no injustice should go hidden.

You might also be asking yourself, what evidence indicates that the New Polar Order is an imperialistic extension of the New Pacific Order? Indeed, we asked this question ourselves. We believe the following six arguments sum up the majority of our thoughts on the issue.

First, the New Pacific Order has admitted on multiple occasions a desire to absorb new members into their body politick through the New Polar Order. This desire, while generally stated in private chats, is also indicated in the New Polar Order’s Charter, which reads “Any nation joining the blue team and pledging an oath to the New Polar Order . . . will be admitted, provided said nation does not belong to any other alliances save possibly the New Pacific Order.” Clearly this dual citizenship allowance, at that point unprecedented in Order affairs, implies a wish to increase New Pacific Order members through the New Polar Order, a fact which has been verified numerous times in IRC logs. Moreover, the fact that such an unprecedented move would be made with an alliance in the very moment of its establishment indicates an intention to maintain overt control over the new alliance.

Second, the New Pacific Order has created a forum structure to allow for the absorption of New Polar Order members by granting many of them dual membership access on both forums, even if they are not dual citizens.

Third, there are well-documented, public statements by high ranking Order officials, including Ivan Moldavi himself, to indicate that the New Polar Order was made to absorb Blue Team members into the New Pacific Order, including a statement calling the New Polar Order a “mirror of the New Pacific Order for the Blue Team,” from Ivan Moldavi, found here.

Fourth, the two Orders share a full alliance in an attempt for the New Pacific Order to exert hegemony over the New Polar Order. But more importantly, this alliance was created to prevent criticism about the imperialistic tendencies of the two alliances. It was hoped that by making a full alliance the Orders could create an excuse for their simultaneous cooperation and the overt control of the New Pacific Order over the New Polar Order. Indeed, this fact has been evidenced many times in arguments where the Orders attempted to moot the imperialism debate by saying it is impossible to determine with a full alliance pact. We disagree; rather, we believe the fact that such an alliance pact exists acts as even stronger evidence of malfeasance and imperialism by the Orders. Moreover, this legal change has presented no real change in policy; the New Polar Order remains an imperial colony in practice, thus, if any point of the debate is mooted by the existence of the alliance, it is the Orders’ point. Real world policy ultimately outweighs legal technicality in determining the probability of imperialism.

Fifth, the New Polar Order was originally created to have the same Emperor as the New Pacific Order; however, this was changed legally due to criticism, although in practice, the word of Emperor of the New Pacific Order still retains nearly absolute power over the decision making process for the New Polar Order Emperor. Once again, this has been used as an attempt to moot the imperialism debate, a convenient lie to pre-empt the truth, but once again, the truth prevails; the actual policy in practice only serves to dispel the pathetic legal cover.

Sixth, the New Polar Order was founded as the blue arm of the New Pacific Order. Its sole intention was to increase the power of the New Pacific Order. The New Pacific Order even had arguments over whether or not to use the same forum for the two alliances. Instead they settled on the compromise of allowing members to access both forums. There can be no question, the two are one in the same, and both practice a militaristic imperialism that has been detrimental to the health and stability of Cyberverse.

At this point you are most likely questioning Letum’s announcement of recognition of the New Polar Order and how that fits into the Global Alliance’s stance. Letum’s announcement was a necessary attempt to defuse a difficult situation. However, the General Assembly has decided that the situation now requires public recognition of our policy. The General Assembly has decided to preserve Vercingetorix’s original policy with slight modification and to cease recognition of the New Polar Order.

Your next question probably deals with the amount of time that has elapsed since the creation of the New Polar Order. We have already told you why we have allowed this time to elapse, we did not want to cause a war, now let us tell you why no amount of time can make the wrong of the New Polar Order right. The New Polar Order embodies injustice in the form of imperialism. This injustice has been freely and willingly committed by both the New Pacific Order and the New Polar Order since the very inception of the New Polar Order – it is an injustice inherent within the very nature of the New Polar Order. Time cannot right this injustice; it cannot heal these wounds. Injustice, unchallenged, is a gangrenous wound, spreading to all it touches, slowly poisoning the body to death, using time to its advantage, like an unmitigated cancer which seeks only to destroy. Imperialism is one of the worst forms of injustice, and unchallenged, we have allowed it to spread. Unchallenged, we have tacitly legitimated it; we have allowed the Orders to think they are right. No more! You can see why it is so very important that we take a stand against the injustice of imperialism and against the injustice of time, an injustice of time which we ourselves have created and which has allowed and legitimated this wrong.

Thus, in the spirit of communication and understanding, to preclude more misconceptions, we inform the Cyberverse community of our following enactments, which have already been submitted to the New Pacific Order in private, as that is their preferred method of conducting business:

The Global Alliance ceases all recognition of the New Polar Order as an independent alliance separate from the New Pacific Order. We hereby recognize the New Polar Order as an imperial colony of the New Pacific Order and its leadership as puppet-representatives under the overt hegemony of the New Pacific Order.

The Global Alliance continues to recognize the New Pacific Order as an independent alliance, albeit an imperialistic one with an imperial colony named the New Polar Order under its control.

The Global Alliance hereby closes its consulate with the New Polar Order. Any and all business regarding the New Polar Order may be conducted through the New Pacific Order consulate.

The Global Alliance requests that the New Pacific Order sign a non-flaming pact.

Finally, the Global Alliance reminds the New Pacific Order and Cyberverse community that we seek purely diplomatic solutions to our efforts. We shall never use this letter as grounds for war.

Sincerely,

The General Assembly of the Global Alliance and Treaty Organization

Edited November 9, 2009 by Mundokiir

[Bob Janova]

Fourth, the two Orders share a full alliance in an attempt for the New Pacific Order to exert hegemony over the New Polar Order

Ah damnit Grenval takes credit for introducing another term to CN

[Lammoth]

May Admin have mercy on your souls, for we shall have none.

[Uralica]

Some of the most epic fail, yet incredibly funny quotes ever:

"we are sitting injoying smell of your pork fear porkchops" - ParkWave, from BAA

"THEIR SWEETING PORK GREASE!!" - ParkWave, from BAA.

And then this gem from DRDavid Banner:

I just have one thing to say to everybody," When there is fire there is smoke. And in that smoke from this day forward. My people will crouch and conspire and plot and plan for the inventible day of ODNS down fall. The day when they finally and self destructible turn there weapons on their own people. The day of the writing in the sky when your nations lay buried in radioactive rubble. When the sea is a dead sea and the land is a waste land. Out of which I will lead my people from their captivity!!! And we will found our own alliance, our own government. And we will build our own armies and our new CN world. And there will be no place for ODN members!!! Except to serve our ends. And that day is upon you now!!!