Kiss Goodbye Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 (edited) Some of you know me. I've made some good friends before I departed this world and never got to say goodbye to you. I did so because I knew I could never leave if I tried to explain myself to you. Leaving hurt. My reasons are my own, they are selfish and more than a little motivated by my shame in my inability to stop the destruction of my alliance and my great failure to bring about the events that seem to have come around today regardless. That has taught me one thing. In the grand scheme of Planet Bob, [b]diplomacy is meaningless.[/b] What is right will always happen, eventually. Despite my failure to take advantage of the opportunities presented to me, what could have been now is. The fate of my own alliance is trivial in the grand scheme. I see that now and feel more at peace than I have at any point in the last year. Some of you have only seen my name in a single TOP announcement that I was elected Grand Chancellor for a term. In that time I saw my fair share. I sought to make amends around the world for TOP. I think I had some success in this--at least, I hope I did. That was all blown away after I left, of course--I established a level of communication with both my own comrades and the leaders of my peers that dominated my life. It wasn't sustainable for me and it certainly wasn't something those who came after me could be expected to sustain. How then was I to respond when I kept getting queried: "It's not the same without you!" I realized I hadn't actually built a relationship between them and TOP, but one between them and myself. With me gone, so was that relationship. And when the consequences of that came crashing down? I left in shame. Although I did always perceive the Mushroom Kingdom to be on the 'other' side, it wasn't because I thought TOP had some destiny to face them in battle. Yevgeni Luchenkov and I argued in favor of them at length and I do think we made some real strides forward on their boards. The leaders of TOP who taught and advised me during my tenure did much the same. I assumed we might fight, but as part of a conflict against Polaris...not directly against one another. It was because they were allied to the New Polar Order. No other reason. How we were so foolish to lose sight of that fact and deemed them our great enemy and Polaris our savior is something many, MANY people have asked. How could TOP be so stupid? People were quick to blame Crymson. It's not his fault. It's mine. I got our membership so accustomed to regular updates of the entirety of CN politics, distilled for their understanding, that when I stepped down there was just a massive information vacuum left behind. I didn't even bother to share the information that I'd during my tenure on council. Before I even was elected to run our foreign affairs, I was ruining wonderful opportunities for our allies. In the heyday of the Liquor Cabinet, the post-Sponge government almost started a war with FOK. I didn't even have to do anything--I could've idly sat by and watched the fireworks start. Yet I did. If any of the leaders of the time who remain in this world are reading this...I am sorry. I think back most of all to the almost-war Kronos had with the Siberian Tiger Alliance in December 2009. I was at my worst that day. Our grandmaster and grand hospitaller were gone, and I handled the events of the day alone. It should have been war. It would have been a good war, much like today's war. I spoke to the leader of Kronos at that time beyond the mere confines of Planet Bob, and deep down I *knew* we should have stood and fought straight away. Maybe we would have lost? I don't know for sure. But it would have been a better war than the one we fought a few weeks later, alone, for sure. I was the one who capitulated. As quick as my friends were to apologize for the calling out my alliance received for my decision to pay the debts of an alliance who so wanted a real fight, I must admit: the criticism was true. I was a coward. We could have brought destruction down upon the world, maybe won, maybe lost, but instead I clung to my infra and let us fight another day. What a fool I was! To the leaders of the time, I am sorry. We could have been so much more. Ultimately, my shame is that I had ample opportunity to set us on the right path--the path the whole world has embarked upon today. Instead my apathy--and cowardice--allowed our destruction. And I didn't even fight alongside my brothers for it. For that, most of all, I am sorry. I could have done so much more. And yet it doesn't matter. I understand "Everything must die" is the new chant of the day? Perhaps my shameful legacy can be put to rest and I can have some peace at last. I almost didn't share this, but in the end, what are my thoughts but a howling in the wind? Goodbye, friends. Edited January 25, 2011 by Kiss Goodbye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edifice Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 I was unfortunately on leave from TOP during your tenure, only to return post-BiPolar and find out you had disappeared from our world. No matter what mistakes you think you made in hindsight, TOP truly was worse off from losing your talent. Since I never got a chance: thanks for your service to TOP. -lowly TOP member Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Lightning Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 Never gave a !@#$ about most of what you posted. You were my friend and you just disappeared off the face of the earth one day. Not having you around to talk to any more hurt me a lot more than some in-game political mistake or the other. Anyway, it's good to know you didn't die in RL or some crap, and that you just left for the sake of leaving the game. It's also good to hear from you again, even if it's just to say "goodbye". I hope you enjoy the rest of your life and for $%&@'s sake get over whatever mistakes you feel you made in some !@#$%* nation simulator, it's not like it really matters. Goodbye Cage and thanks for the part you've played in my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ojiras ajeridas Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 If you want to avoid making mistakes, you better avoid to do anything. You were a great member and a great guy. We all made mistakes in our carreer over here. So, I can just wish you all the best in your future life... maybe you'll come back somewhere, one day... I'd be happy about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zero-One Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 (edited) You will be missed, my friend... Good luck in real life, where it matters PS: ^^^ zomg I spotted an Oji posting! [img]http://forums.cybernations.net/public/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif[/img] Edited January 25, 2011 by Zero-One Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sulmar Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 Is there an actually point to this thread other than to wallow in some weird self-pity? No one really gives a !@#$ about whatever mistakes you think you made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vladimir Stukov II Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 At least we actually got to fight the armageddon I always wanted. Just think if you would have won us that war I would still be complaining to this day that TOP never got to take on the whole world. Thank you for making my dreams a reality! It's just stupid ass stats in the end, what really matters is our community. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vladimir Stukov II Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 [quote name='Sulmar' timestamp='1295983296' post='2600665'] Is there an actually point to this thread other than to wallow in some weird self-pity? No one really gives a !@#$ about whatever mistakes you think you made. [/quote] I give a !@#$. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sulmar Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 [quote name='Vladimir Stukov II' timestamp='1295983619' post='2600680'] I give a !@#$. [/quote] No offense to TOP members, but I don't. Plus the whole OP makes it sound like some sacrilegious mistake was made when in fact there really was nothing to be ashamed of. So you didn't start a war, that doesn't really matter. Stop crying over nothing please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vladimir Stukov II Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 [quote name='Sulmar' timestamp='1295983941' post='2600700'] No offense to TOP members, but I don't. Plus the whole OP makes it sound like some sacrilegious mistake was made when in fact there really was nothing to be ashamed of. So you didn't start a war, that doesn't really matter. Stop crying over nothing please. [/quote] I doubt he had you in mind when he was writing this... So please understand that some of us appreciate his post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sulmar Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 [quote name='Vladimir Stukov II' timestamp='1295984288' post='2600712'] I doubt he had you in mind when he was writing this... So please understand that some of us appreciate his post. [/quote] I understand that you appreciate hearing from him again, thats great, but I don't understand the whole melodramatic tone of the post. I literally don't see why he is so angry with himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crymson Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 [quote name='Sulmar' timestamp='1295984580' post='2600716'] I understand that you appreciate hearing from him again, thats great, but I don't understand the whole melodramatic tone of the post. I literally don't see why he is so angry with himself. [/quote] Then go away and mind your own business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Lightning Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 You really should have asked for permission from Sulmar before making this topic, Cage. [img]http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/7381/copd.gif[/img] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sulmar Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 [quote name='Blue Lightning' timestamp='1295986249' post='2600763'] You really should have asked for permission from Sulmar before making this topic, Cage. [img]http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/7381/copd.gif[/img] [/quote] I agree with this statement. Anyways, I don't see why people are getting all uppity with my comments. All I'm saying is that he shouldn't actually be angry with himself. And if you post on the OWF you are putting it out there for everyone to see and comment on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feanor Noldorin Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 I'm really glad to see that you're good IRL. Was a pleasure getting to know you during your time here. Good luck in everything you do, KGB. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PumpkinFunk Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 Sorry to see you go, KGB. I've definitely missed you in TOP for the past few months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
President Obama Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 Glad to see you're alright after you just vanished. You were the best GC TOP had in my opinion. Good luck in RL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believland Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 [quote name='Kiss Goodbye' timestamp='1295975555' post='2600391'] -snip- [/quote] You're a great guy KGB. I'm sorry we couldn't get that treaty going but, ohwell. I still remember the time your gf saw what you wrote one day. Please post on the TOP forums. The FoTO mask is great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sephiroth Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 Good luck in whatever you do, its a shame to see another quality nation ruler gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Ilyani Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 Who reported his profile? Dick move. [img]http://forums.cybernations.net/public/style_emoticons/default/dry.gif[/img] Also, the "wonderful opportunities for my allies" that you were "ruining", do not sound like a bad thing to me. It sounds like you handled situations with tact and diplomacy as opposed to blindly rushing into battle on the simplest of CBs. In this day and age, where the latter is so common, your "failures" sound more like successes to me. I never knew you, but you sound like you would be an interesting person to get to know. Best of luck in Real Life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WalkerNinja Posted January 26, 2011 Report Share Posted January 26, 2011 KGB, you were probably one of the three best GC's I've witnessed in TOP. You messed up once, and it happened to be in public. You were in a rotten position, and ended up making a rotten decision. One moment does not a career make. I more than most can tell you that. Sure you'll always have your chorus of nay-sayers following you around, but eventually they will have diminished to a few fringe lunatics while you're still going strong. I'm sad that this one event shattered a career that was destined to be gilded, and I miss you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yevgeni Luchenkov Posted January 26, 2011 Report Share Posted January 26, 2011 Was great discussing with you for countless hours about TOP's future and our plans, KGB. It's great to see you're doing well in RL. Hope you can post on TOP's forums and get the FotO mask. Keep in touch and, ffs, don't ever blame yourself so much for "mistakes" made on a game, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khyber Posted January 26, 2011 Report Share Posted January 26, 2011 You made me sign into these forums to post, I hate you. Miss you man, and pop by once in a while. Say hi. No matter what mistake you think you did, I honestly couldn't care, you were a great guy to have on our forums. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vesalius Posted January 26, 2011 Report Share Posted January 26, 2011 (edited) KGB - I don't know if you remember me at all from the Kronos-STA situation. I was there, in that room, along with you and the other leader of Kronos you mentioned. You are damn right, that was a mistake, and a big one. That event, that night especially, defined my career and existence here on Bob. I was extremely upset about it at the time. I had just recently been put into government, having joined this place only a few months before. Kronos, the alliance that reared me and to which I had devoted myself, was going through the greatest crisis it ever faced. There was little I could do without proper experience in such things, and I got far too emotionally invested in the outcome of that incident. It took a while to understand personally, but I really do understand why you did what you did. It was a very difficult position for you, something that I could not comprehend at the time as ignorant, blind, and passionate as I was. We all got far too worked up about it. If it means anything, I have long sense forgiven you, and in fact never really blamed you in the first place. I don't think any of us in Kronos did. If you ever get on IRC again, I would love for you to hit me up. You're a great guy, and I enjoyed the conversations we had prior to all of that nonsense. It's good to hear from you again. Edited January 26, 2011 by Vesalius Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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