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Molon Labe Breaking News Bulletin


Zephir
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Molon Labe Flag starts spontaneously moving! Thousands Injured!

Earlier today, Molon Labe's flag, which up until now was incapable of independent motion, spontaneously started moving on its own while on display in the national mall in Helloistan, Trapista region of Molon Labe. The resulting beautiful waving motion of the flag immediately tore apart the support columns to which it was lashed, resulting in the entire national mall collapsing inward on itself. No one has been reported killed, but the injured number in the thousands, including Molon Labe Congressman ThatFALGuy, whom was giving a speech on Second Amendment rights at the time of the incident.

Local woman Monica Primrose had this to say about the event.

"It was just standing still... Then it started to sort of start to move in a waving motion," she said, an expression of terror still on her face. "At first it moved sort of stutteringly, but then boom! It started waving in full and the pillars it was attached to just came right down on ThatFALGuy, whom was making a speech on something or another. The horror..."

Local man Gordon Frohman had this to say on the matter.

"It was like it was ... a load bearing boss or something. Once it started moving, boom! Everything was gone."

Congressman ThatFALGuy escaped with only minor injuries despite his proximity to the event. He was seen clawing his way out of the rubble with only minor scrapes and bruises. Local man Gordon Frohman had this to add with regards to the congressman.

"And then he pulls himself out like one bad*** mother******. But not as bad*** as I am of course. But then, no one sees it when I'm bad***."

Edited by Zephir
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Thank goodness Gordon Frohman was on hand or it may have been much, much worse.

First the denial of bailout funds by Admin, and now this? Times have been tough for ML. Stay tuned for our fund-raising luncheon soon to give help and support to the survivors.

(Rumor has it TFG was able to get Jimmy Buffet to play!)

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o/ spontaneously moving flags!

But NOT o/ to all the deaths...Praetorius offers its finest grief counselors in this hour of need. And our best ninjas to track down whoever is responsible for all the chaos.

P.S.--I <3 guns

Edited by Alaric the Great
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DC sends in his Flying Nuke Monkey Bomber squadron... Dropping thousands of incendiary laser guided Anti-Flag bombs on the said flag in hopes of helping to restore order!

*Love this announcement :)*

oo/ Molon Labe.. May your National Mall rise again to greatness.. not unlike your congressman.. TFG

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The nation of Volsunga would like to congratulate our allies in Molon Labe for having been gifted with a gracefully waving flag. We view the thousands of casualties (albeit minor ones) that occurred during the event as highly fortuitous, and take it as a sign of great things to come. Volsunga will be sending many tonnes of mead to celebrate your good fortune.

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