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Galleon Racing


Shan Revan
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It first came to him in a wild dream of swash buckling pirates and carribean paradises but the ludicrous concept stuck with the omniscient emperor. So much so that he investigated the feasibility of constructing a fleet of galleons for his personal amusement. To his dismay, the empire's faculties were all to advanced and the shipyards all refused. A state of melancholy ensued until he picked up his morning paper and noticed that his friend, Rebel Virginia had a large galleon facility and had just sold several.

Quickly the emperor raced to his phone, almost tripping on his robe in the processa and hit the 6th speed dial button.

"Hey there popey! It's Shan, How're you doing?"

"Why the $%&@ are you calling me at 3am, I was busy dreaming about what's his name's sister."

"Oh right timezones. heh, Sorry. Anyway I noticed you have a large galleon industry. If you can provide me with 20 top notch galleons within a week I'll clear the debt on your newly finished bunker."

"I think you have a deal. Now if you don't mind I'd like to get back to bed and finish up what I started"

"Right right. Call me"

Putting down the phone he realised what he had just offered in his excitement and cursed. Ohwell some people would just have to do without lobster for dinner for a while.

3 DAYS LATER

The pope decided to get a little vengence, whether he was meant to or not.

3am, Omni Island

"Breep breep" "Breep breep" "Breep breep" The phone rang with increasing intensity.

The beleagered emperor staggered out of bed "ugghh who the hell is calling me at what... 3am?.. it better not be the pope"

"Hello, who am I speaking to?"

"Hey buddy, I have your galleons"

"dammit, I said I was sorry"

"well actually you didn't"

"Oh. Well I dreamt I said sorry"

"Well that's not good enough now is it!"

"Fine fine. So the galleons are ready?"

"Yes, all 20 of them. It's amazing what some coersion of alternate labour can achieve"

"Yes it certainly is. Well I have some great news. Rebel Virginia is going to be the host to the start of a new sporting event. One of the world's most prestigious and I'll be running it. It shall be GALLEON RACING!!!!"

"Galleon racing?! You know those things go rediculously slow right?"

"Yes, but it will be compulsary for all contestants to dress and behave like pirates"

"Are we talking real pirates or the gay pirates with eye liner?"

"Whichever floats their boat... every pun intended. Anyway I'll be sending over reports and stuff and inviting the international community to participate. I'll be putting up a grand prize for the winner."

"And what's that?"

"I have no idea yet but it will be effin spectacular. Now I'm going to bed. Let's not fight anymore. I'll call you later, with timezone in mind"

and with that the happy emperor went back to dreaming about pirates.

****PUBLIC DISPATCH****

The Omniscient Empire is sponsering a galleon race from Rebel Virginia to Morroco. All nations are welcome to sponsor a team in the event.

Requirements

* All members of the team must dress, talk and behave like a pirate.

*All galleons must be one of the standard RV galleons as can be purchased from Rebel Virginia. You can also supply your own so long as it meats the same equivalents. Weapons and superflous modifications are not only allowed but encouraged. However any modified ships must still remain within the galleon classification (wind powered, wooden hull etc)

*At least 30% of the crew must be intoxicated at all times during the journey.

*ample rum will be provided.

The omniscient empire is sponsering the event with a grand prize rumoured to be valued at $100 million.

OOC:

every day I'm going to post up a weeks progress for the ships. a d36 die will determine how far the ship travels each IC day, (every RL day will be a week of IC travel so a maximum of 7x36=2520km in a week or a top speed of about 8knots (a fast galleon).

I'll allow galleons within 100km of eachother to attack after the first week. Results will be dice based. (the distance may be changed for balance purposes)

Whatever you put on your ship can be used in rp but probably wont affect the final result (being luck based)

Feel free to place bets and the like.

The winning team gets a prize, I don't know what it is yet.

I'll make a map and stuff and update it as the event continues.

Have some fun in this spectacular event!.

There may be events, such as storms etc. I'll use a dice to determine these and they will affect participants universally.

ENTRIES ARE NOW OPEN.

Edited by Shan Revan
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Since the only real religion in the Federation of Pravus Ingruo is that of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the cry went up for a team to be put forward. A national contest was put forth for the best pirates, and a team of fifty chosen from those. The fifty men (and ten women who would be placed aboard the ship as well, since Tom Dobbs did not believe in superstitions and wanted to give the men some motivation) immediately went into training on how to operate a wooden galleon.

tl;dr: Pravus Ingruo will be entering one team.

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"The Theocratic Bureaucracy will be entering a galleon in this race. One of the twenty we have produced will be christened the RVS Guppy. All crew will be required to have full beards. In addition to donning pirate clothing and speaking and behaving like pirates, they will be given pirate names. Since we're not exactly sure what a pirate name is, they will be called their beard color and a number. For example, a man with a black beard is Blackbeard. The other black bearded man is Blackbeard II. Then there is Redbeard. You get it." the Pope explained. "Additionally, the RVS Guppy will be armed with SAMs, machine guns, Greek fire, and RPGs. Also, cannons too. And one artillery piece. The world will learn to fear our naval prowess." the Pope smirked. "Also, if you wish to enter this race you must buy a galleon from us. They cost three million dollars each. Why so much? Because you have no choice if you want to enter." he said while cackling. "That will be all."

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"We shall remind the world that the galleons must be purchased from Rebel Virginia in order to take part in this extravagant event. Also, all order have been approved. Cough up the money please and you will have your galleon. Also, who wants t-shirts? How about novelty glasses? Souvenir cups? We have lots and lots of merchandise!" the Pope said while showing various cheap products. This galleon race might actually prove profitable for the nation. Quite possibly the first profitable venture ever undertaken by Rebel Virginia.

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"We shall remind the world that the galleons must be purchased from Rebel Virginia in order to take part in this extravagant event. Also, all order have been approved. Cough up the money please and you will have your galleon. Also, who wants t-shirts? How about novelty glasses? Souvenir cups? We have lots and lots of merchandise!" the Pope said while showing various cheap products. This galleon race might actually prove profitable for the nation. Quite possibly the first profitable venture ever undertaken by Rebel Virginia.

"The crew wonders why. The ship was made in the mid 1800's, has had minimal changes made, and the crew knows the boat quite well. Is there some way we could have the boat checked, to make sure it has no unfair advantages?"

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"The crew wonders why. The ship was made in the mid 1800's, has had minimal changes made, and the crew knows the boat quite well. Is there some way we could have the boat checked, to make sure it has no unfair advantages?"

"I am terribly sorry, but rules are rules. It must be a Rebel Virginian galleon. No exceptions."

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"We shall remind the world that the galleons must be purchased from Rebel Virginia in order to take part in this extravagant event. Also, all order have been approved. Cough up the money please and you will have your galleon. Also, who wants t-shirts? How about novelty glasses? Souvenir cups? We have lots and lots of merchandise!" the Pope said while showing various cheap products. This galleon race might actually prove profitable for the nation. Quite possibly the first profitable venture ever undertaken by Rebel Virginia.

Of course. We wish to place the order for the crew.

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The Wanatet Corporation quickly pays $3 million to purchase a Galleon before the Pope raises the price any further. Instructions for the construction of special devices are sent in a private message.

**Private to Rebel Virginia**

We need the following installed. Please take a look at this list and approve of it. If any item is not approved, please give the price required in order to approve it.

-Cooling System that provides Air conditioning throughout entire ship, and produces a nice supply of Ice in the shape of cannon shells that can be fired. This is to be installed in the back (below deck)

-The cannons to be modified to accommodate firing ice shells

-All the square sails replaced with Wanatetan flags, and other sails replaced with a black color

-A nice indoor swimming pool in the front (below deck)

-4 ping-pong tables on the deck, as well as a half-court basketball court with a hoop

-A theatre in the middle below deck. It can switch between being a movie theatre or a performing theatre

-An indoor dining hall on the deck on the back, with an exposed dining area on top of the indoor dining hall.

-A nice umbrella or just a roof to shield the whole deck. Make sure it doesn't block the sails in any way.

-Automatic systems for aligning the sails and driving the galleon

-Automatic food service system

-The outside to be painted in the following design:

**Design attached**

**End Message**

Edited by XRCatD
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Of course. We wish to place the order for the crew.

"Three million for a galleon, and as for a crew, we don't sell human being. Unless the price is right of course." the Pope chuckled. "How much are you willing to pay?"

*Private to Wanatet*

Seems complex, but we can handle it. Send us some engineers and we'll provide the labor. Also, how much you will to pay?

*End*

"The Theocratic Bureaucracy will now be raising the price for galleons to five million dollars. All of those who haven't ordered yet, sorry." The Pope gave a look.

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"I am terribly sorry, but rules are rules. It must be a Rebel Virginian galleon. No exceptions."

"Then we will need it built in a traditional British style, out of white oak, with dark colored sails. Ideally it would have thick, hemp rope, sales made from traditional canvas, metal trim on the outer walls, glass windows, and a brig, the brig is necessary, the sailors say that they can never sail without a urine soaked lunatic aboard."

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