Shan Revan Posted January 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 The captain, still wearing the paper bag over his head climbed up onto the damaged deck. "I hear the ship from Thunder Bay is in range of the long range weapon, you have my orders to fire it." "But sir, it's too dangerous!!" A crew member yelled out. "I say do it, we're far enough behind as it is, might as well loose with a bang." A man said while hanging upside down from the mast stitching a sail back together. "Firing the Phasianidae Fléchette Cannon!" Another crew member yelled from below deck. In a flurry of feathers and the sound of roosters, the cannon fired three hundred mean spirited chickens in the direction of the ship from Thunder Bay. OOC: Gotta love the chicken gun The attack was devastating. Chickens landed onboard and begun pecking and scratching and being generally mean spirited to all onboard and they would continue to do so until all were thrown over board. It would take at least 3 days to get them all off. The captain, locked in his cabin away from the chickens estimated that his productivity had been reduced to a fifth! And then he started hearing chicken noises behind him. "aaaaarrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Il Terra Di Agea Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 The attack was devastating. Chickens landed onboard and begun pecking and scratching and being generally mean spirited to all onboard and they would continue to do so until all were thrown over board. It would take at least 3 days to get them all off. The captain, locked in his cabin away from the chickens estimated that his productivity had been reduced to a fifth! And then he started hearing chicken noises behind him. "aaaaarrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!" OOC: That Is FANTASTIC!!!!!! (My favorite use of chicken barring ingestion) IC: The captain blinked as he saw the damage to the other ship. "Holy hell, that was the most devastating chicken related attack I have ever seen... well, there was that one time..." He began to talk to himself as he walked back the his quarters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Frost Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 Captain: "Activate the Transverse Hull" Crewman: "Huh?" Captain: "yellow" Crewman: "Aye sir, activating transverse hull" The Crewman rings a bell, and flooding rooms are sealed off until they can be bailed and fixed Crewman: "There, over there!" Captain: "What" Crewman: "NSS Ships Ahoy" (OOC: mergy's ship) Captain: "Fantastic! ready the napalm cannons, arm the crew with their rocket launchers, and tell Toshi to warm up the 140mm flak" crewman: "aye sir" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subtleknifewielder Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 The captain, still wearing the paper bag over his head climbed up onto the damaged deck. "I hear the ship from Thunder Bay is in range of the long range weapon, you have my orders to fire it." "But sir, it's too dangerous!!" A crew member yelled out. "I say do it, we're far enough behind as it is, might as well loose with a bang." A man said while hanging upside down from the mast stitching a sail back together. "Firing the Phasianidae Fléchette Cannon!" Another crew member yelled from below deck. In a flurry of feathers and the sound of roosters, the cannon fired three hundred mean spirited chickens in the direction of the ship from Thunder Bay. OOC: Gotta love the chicken gun The attack was devastating. Chickens landed onboard and begun pecking and scratching and being generally mean spirited to all onboard and they would continue to do so until all were thrown over board. It would take at least 3 days to get them all off. The captain, locked in his cabin away from the chickens estimated that his productivity had been reduced to a fifth! And then he started hearing chicken noises behind him. "aaaaarrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!" OOC: That Is FANTASTIC!!!!!! (My favorite use of chicken barring ingestion) IC: The captain blinked as he saw the damage to the other ship. "Holy hell, that was the most devastating chicken related attack I have ever seen... well, there was that one time..." He began to talk to himself as he walked back the his quarters. OOC: OMG, That was friggin hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeVentNoir Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 "Right. Who is nearest?" A mate turned around, large circles of amber glass in front of his eyes. "Dunno, captain, got me beer goggles on!" "Who cares! Fire on them, load the 'guided catapult!'" Three of the crew drunkenly wrestled a mentally retarded kid to the catapult and strapped him to the massive iron sphere. "Fire!" With a massive retarded scream the kid and iron sphere flew towards the ship.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subtleknifewielder Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 "Right. Who is nearest?"A mate turned around, large circles of amber glass in front of his eyes. "Dunno, captain, got me beer goggles on!" "Who cares! Fire on them, load the 'guided catapult!'" Three of the crew drunkenly wrestled a mentally retarded kid to the catapult and strapped him to the massive iron sphere. "Fire!" With a massive retarded scream the kid and iron sphere flew towards the ship.... OOC: That would be the ship from the Marscurian Empire, who are actually behind you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaiserMelech Mikhail Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 (edited) OOC: That would be the ship from the Marscurian Empire, who are actually behind you. OOC: It's actually Agea. They're 23 km away, we're 24 IC: Despite not being the closest ship, Sri Sumbhaji was not taking any chances. With stories of a devastating retardapult spreading over the high seas, Sumbhaji equipped his crew with jingly plastic keys and guns with enough tranquilizers to put a sperm whale into a coma. Edited January 22, 2009 by KaiserMelech Mikhail I Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subtleknifewielder Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 OOC: It's actually Agea. They're 23 km away, we're 24IC: Despite not being the closest ship, Sri Sumbhaji was not taking any chances. With stories of a devastating retardapult spreading over the high seas, Sumbhaji equipped his crew with jingly plastic keys and guns with enough tranquilizers to put a sperm whale into a coma. OOC: Ah, yes, I see. Heh heh, I missed that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shan Revan Posted January 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 The crew of the IJN Shinjuku were out for blood and they got it. Their attack was just as devastating as the one they received, slowing the TIS Jihad to a crawl at 1/4 its speed. elsewhere the crew of rockports race built galleon were seriously disappointed and wanted to vent. In their drunken haze they fired a retarded kid at the EDM Manta. Whilst it did no damage, the kid annoyed everyone sufficiently that for the next 3 days the crew would be distracted to half their working pace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shan Revan Posted January 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 The continuing strong winds, along side some very devastating battles has played havoc with the rankings. It seems the NCS Incapable has stormed into the lead, at 495km, The Perquod maintaining a close second place at 450km. Surprisingly, the Wightonian vessel, previously last has made an astounding pace bringing it all the way into third in but three days at 447km. Currently the Mascurian Empire's entry is last at 87km. Rankings - now in order! New Cymru 495 Sargun 450 Wighton 447 Republic of Tanis 432 Rebel Virginia 423 Ile de Noir 390 Promised Land 384 MergerBerger 346 Pravus Ingruo 321 Dilber 264 New Japan 241 Wanatet 225 Il Terra Di Agea 213 Rockport 174 The Thunder Bay Anarchist Commune 167 Dragon Empire 156 Marscurian Empire 87 hitpoints! Dragon Empire 20.00 MergerBerger 16.00 Pravus Ingruo 20.00 New Japan 16.00 New Cymru 20.00 Rebel Virginia 18.00 Il Terra Di Agea 16.00 Dilber 20.00 Wanatet 18.00 Sargun 20.00 Ile de Noir 20.00 Wighton 20.00 Rockport 20.00 Marscurian Empire 13.00 The Thunder Bay Anarchist Commune 15.00 Republic of Tanis 20.00 Promised Land 18.00 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaiserMelech Mikhail Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 Still in awe over how well the ship from Wighton rode the tsunami wave past him, Sumbhaji managed to snap himself out of it. "Alright," he said, "times are getting desperate. Bring the secret weapon out of the brig!" Twelve Mormons step on deck. "Alright!" said Sumbhaji with a smile on his face, "first mate, 90 degrees to starboard. Sober firing crew, aim at the anarchists and prepare to broadside! Let's send their leaderless ship to the locker!" A drunken cheer went our as all 3 weapons systems opened on the enemy with everything they had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanis777 Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 Capt. Nai Takowegia in his drunken stupor was dumbfounded at how well his ship was doing. 4th place, that's not bad right... I don't know what's good, ah my !@#$@#$ head hurts "#)(%$# this! 4th place is not good enough!" "Aye sir, so... what's the plan?" "The plan... the plan is to... errr what weapons do we have?" "We do have the bears sir..." "AH YES! The special rabid bears! Launch them at whoever is in front of us!" Out from the cargo hold of the TSS Spartacus, several caged bears were lifted up onto the deck of the ship. Then they were launched off the ship towards the Wighton ship ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaiserMelech Mikhail Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 Capt. Nai Takowegia in his drunken stupor was dumbfounded at how well his ship was doing. 4th place, that's not bad right... I don't know what's good, ah my !@#$@#$ head hurts"#)(%$# this! 4th place is not good enough!" "Aye sir, so... what's the plan?" "The plan... the plan is to... errr what weapons do we have?" "We do have the bears sir..." "AH YES! The special rabid bears! Launch them at whoever is in front of us!" Out from the cargo hold of the TSS Spartacus, several caged bears were lifted up onto the deck of the ship. Then they were launched off the ship towards the Wighton ship ahead. OOC: It's a trap! That ship is unhittable! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirreille Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 Realizing their caution had led them be being passed by the others, the crew of the Ile de Noir ship tore the covers off their gatling guns and took aim at the closest shipe in range, the unfortunate RVS Guppy. At least with identical armaments the battle would be even... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanis777 Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 OOC: It's a trap! That ship is unhittable! OOC: If that's the case, I'll plan something more 'personal' next time around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRCatD Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 The crew on the Destination decide to take their day off, and not attack anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Il Terra Di Agea Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 (edited) "Sir, Sir?" A crew member yelled out, looking for the captain. Baggs stood up, behind the bewildered crew-member, "BEHIND YOU, SONNY!" "WAHHHHHHHHH!!!" "Eh... it's okay boy, it's me." "Right, yah... well, we have fallen very far behind after some of the rather extreme damage to our ship." "Yes, what do you suppose we do?" "Arbitrarily kill people, sir." "Excellent plan!" "So, what should we attack with?" "Well, fire is nice, and the lunatic is still alive..." Minutes later "No! No! Don't kill me! I don't want to be ignited!" The Lunatic screamed as he was dragged above deck. "Well, you can win your free dom if you answer this riddle." "Al... alright." "What's crazy, smells like poo, and is about to hurdle through the air on fire at a random boat?" "Uhhhh?" "You!" The crew jumped onto the lunatic, bound his arms and legs, lit him ablaze, and threw him with all of their collective might at the ship from Neo Japan, hoping that the man would stay on fire until he hit the ship, and still have enough stamina to swim back, hopefully with only minor burns. Edited January 23, 2009 by Il Terra Di Agea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Frost Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 "Sir, Sir?" A crew member yelled out, looking for the captain.Baggs stood up, behind the bewildered crew-member, "BEHIND YOU, SONNY!" "WAHHHHHHHHH!!!" "Eh... it's okay boy, it's me." "Right, yah... well, we have fallen very far behind after some of the rather extreme damage to our ship." "Yes, what do you suppose we do?" "Arbitrarily kill people, sir." "Excellent plan!" "So, what should we attack with?" "Well, fire is nice, and the lunatic is still alive..." Minutes later "No! No! Don't kill me! I don't want to be ignited!" The Lunatic screamed as he was dragged above deck. "Well, you can win your free dom if you answer this riddle." "Al... alright." "What's crazy, smells like poo, and is about to hurdle through the air on fire at a random boat?" "Uhhhh?" "You!" The crew jumped onto the lunatic, bound his arms and legs, lit him ablaze, and threw him with all of their collective might at the ship from Neo Japan, hoping that the man would stay on fire until he hit the ship, and still have enough stamina to swim back, hopefully with only minor burns. "SHIP OFF THE.....THAT WAY!!!" "Light the Harpoons! FIRE" *Flaming harpoons are fired* "Fire the Napalm Cannons!" *broadside napalm cannon fire* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeVentNoir Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 "Load the retardapult!" As the retard was brought on deck the wheelchair it was tied into spoke "But you should listen to my ideas about blackholes..." The entire lot, retard, chair, Iron sphere and two cases of low alcohol booze flew towards the ITDA ship... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shan Revan Posted January 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 (edited) Still in awe over how well the ship from Wighton rode the tsunami wave past him, Sumbhaji managed to snap himself out of it. "Alright," he said, "times are getting desperate. Bring the secret weapon out of the brig!"Twelve Mormons step on deck. "Alright!" said Sumbhaji with a smile on his face, "first mate, 90 degrees to starboard. Sober firing crew, aim at the anarchists and prepare to broadside! Let's send their leaderless ship to the locker!" A drunken cheer went our as all 3 weapons systems opened on the enemy with everything they had. A wild Anarchist Appears Go! Sri Sumbhaji Anarchists used silly rambling. It's not very effective! Sri Sumbhaji uses Logical Statis Arguments! It's super effective! Wild Anarchist has fainted! Capt. Nai Takowegia in his drunken stupor was dumbfounded at how well his ship was doing. 4th place, that's not bad right... I don't know what's good, ah my !@#$@#$ head hurts"#)(%$# this! 4th place is not good enough!" "Aye sir, so... what's the plan?" "The plan... the plan is to... errr what weapons do we have?" "We do have the bears sir..." "AH YES! The special rabid bears! Launch them at whoever is in front of us!" Out from the cargo hold of the TSS Spartacus, several caged bears were lifted up onto the deck of the ship. Then they were launched off the ship towards the Wighton ship ahead. wighton was bested by several bears. The bears weren't particularly damaging, in fact they just sat on the deck drinking tea, but this confused the crew forcing them to slow down. Realizing their caution had led them be being passed by the others, the crew of the Ile de Noir ship tore the covers off their gatling guns and took aim at the closest shipe in range, the unfortunate RVS Guppy. At least with identical armaments the battle would be even... Perhaps rather predictably, this battle was a draw. The crew on the Destination decide to take their day off, and not attack anyone. The Destination has a wild party, everyone gets jealous of the sex, drugs and alcohol. "Sir, Sir?" A crew member yelled out, looking for the captain.Baggs stood up, behind the bewildered crew-member, "BEHIND YOU, SONNY!" "WAHHHHHHHHH!!!" "Eh... it's okay boy, it's me." "Right, yah... well, we have fallen very far behind after some of the rather extreme damage to our ship." "Yes, what do you suppose we do?" "Arbitrarily kill people, sir." "Excellent plan!" "So, what should we attack with?" "Well, fire is nice, and the lunatic is still alive..." Minutes later "No! No! Don't kill me! I don't want to be ignited!" The Lunatic screamed as he was dragged above deck. "Well, you can win your free dom if you answer this riddle." "Al... alright." "What's crazy, smells like poo, and is about to hurdle through the air on fire at a random boat?" "Uhhhh?" "You!" The crew jumped onto the lunatic, bound his arms and legs, lit him ablaze, and threw him with all of their collective might at the ship from Neo Japan, hoping that the man would stay on fire until he hit the ship, and still have enough stamina to swim back, hopefully with only minor burns. When they hefted the burning lunatic, the fire spread to the crew and rapidly to the ship. This didn't do any noticable damage so the battle was a draw. "SHIP OFF THE.....THAT WAY!!!""Light the Harpoons! FIRE" *Flaming harpoons are fired* "Fire the Napalm Cannons!" *broadside napalm cannon fire* It seems the burning harpoons however were much more effective, especially when they land in the alcohol room. Didn't damage the ship much but the lack of booze severely demoralises the crew and they strike. Bringing the EDM Manta to half speed. "Load the retardapult!"As the retard was brought on deck the wheelchair it was tied into spoke "But you should listen to my ideas about blackholes..." The entire lot, retard, chair, Iron sphere and two cases of low alcohol booze flew towards the ITDA ship... Each ship can only be attacked once per round. Pick someone else. RESULTS: Edited January 23, 2009 by Shan Revan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subtleknifewielder Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Seeing the success of their last attack, the Captain was overjoyed. He decided to celebrate by firing off their weapons again...at the ship from the Western Republic (OOC: Sargun's Ship), giving them a full twenty-one gun salute--but honoring them was the last thing he intended. He wanted to slow down the leader, but unfortunately they were out of range, so this was the next best thing. Again, he promised extra rations of rum if they were successful, and also a few of the delicacies he had stored in the freezers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sargun II Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Seeing the success of their last attack, the Captain was overjoyed. He decided to celebrate by firing off their weapons again...at the ship from the Western Republic (OOC: Sargun's Ship), giving them a full twenty-one gun salute--but honoring them was the last thing he intended. He wanted to slow down the leader, but unfortunately they were out of range, so this was the next best thing.Again, he promised extra rations of rum if they were successful, and also a few of the delicacies he had stored in the freezers. Seeing the success of their last attack, Ahab was distraught. He decided to make sure they never celebrated by firing off their weapons at the ship (ooc: yours), giving them a full blast of the radioactivewasteapult (a play on retardapult ). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirreille Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 The Captain(a former defense attorney for the Union Corse) turned as his first mate approached. "Never come up behind me again, or you're fish food. Understand?" The first mate shuddered, and then nodded in the affirmative. "Cap'n, we seem to be losing ground. Isn't it time to use the secret weapon?" "Belay that nonsense, we'll use it all right, but not yet." "PLEASE Cap'n, the crew can't hardly stand it no more!" "I said NO, you fool, now get out of my sight or I'll put you in charge of handling it!" The first mate blanched and hurried away.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silhouette Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 The crew of the Incapable were pleasantly surprised when they drew ahead of the pack. Apparently these sailors were amongst the few who worked better when drunk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shan Revan Posted January 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Seeing the success of their last attack, the Captain was overjoyed. He decided to celebrate by firing off their weapons again...at the ship from the Western Republic (OOC: Sargun's Ship), giving them a full twenty-one gun salute--but honoring them was the last thing he intended. He wanted to slow down the leader, but unfortunately they were out of range, so this was the next best thing.Again, he promised extra rations of rum if they were successful, and also a few of the delicacies he had stored in the freezers. It seems the crew were still overly drunk from their previous binge and someone misheard the order and thought they said to fire into their own ship and so he did, putting a nice hole in it. The ship would be moving at 1/3 speed for a while. Seeing the success of their last attack, Ahab was distraught. He decided to make sure they never celebrated by firing off their weapons at the ship (ooc: yours), giving them a full blast of the radioactivewasteapult (a play on retardapult ). Unfortunately the crew got mild radiation poisoning attempting to load the weapon and only managed to fire it at a seegul that fell into the ocean and was swallowed whole by a shark which was eaten by a whale which was eaten by godzilla. Alas half of the crew was out of action for the next few days! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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