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ANOTHER MISSIVE FROM THE CHURCH OF THE GERMAN EMPIRE

 

The One and True Church of the German Empire, whilst being Singular and True welcomes our Ecclesiastical Brothers Grand Druid Dochartaigh and Anti-Pope Shirunei. While our methodology may be different I have the fullest confidence that we can all stand together in support of the German beliefs in the Mysteries of Multiple Memberships in One, and One Membership in Multiples. Of course our cultural hatred of alternative lifestyles goes without saying. Lord protect our Kaiser Auctor.

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ANOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER IMPERIAL ANNOUNCEMENT.

 

It is my honor to hereby annoint Ferdinand I of Deutsches Reich to the rank and the style of Imperator of The German Empire. ALL HAIL FERD. ALL HAIL FERD. ALL HAIL FERD.

 

For his service to The German Empire, Lord bagel has been elevated to the rank and the style of Quartermaster. ALL HAIL LORD BAGEL. ALL HAIL LORD BAGEL. ALL HAIL LORD BAGEL.

 

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As the Quartermaster for The German Empire, I hereby declare an emergency shortage of oranges and orange juice. As such, I hereby demand that the Orange Defense Network allow us access into their vast orange reserves. Failure to adhere to these demands will be met with the forceful extraction of oranges. Lord protect our Kaiser Auctor!

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Brewskie-Butt-ginger-white-cat-drawing-t

 

I, Imperator Ferdinand Clawdius Maximus, or simply Clawdius I for you plebs, hereby decree that the vile upstart christian religion of the so called "Church of The German Empire" has been outlawed! From this day onward we shall return to the only true faith, which is the belief in the benevolent Tuna Fish God that swims in the skies and cares for his litter. Anyone found practicing other religions shall be thrown into a pit with hungry lions in the Circus Maximus and plebs shall cheer while your filthy bodies are being torn to pieces!

 

It is also with great pleasure that i bestow upon Auctor the privilege of being High Priest of the Tuna Fish God. May you all flourish in his infinite wisdom!

Edited by Ferdinand I
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Another Nother Missive From The Church of The German Empire

 

Brothers of The German Empire, peace and Auctor's Love be upon you. Quartermaster Lord Bagel has brought it to our attention that the supply of oranges within our Empire are dangerously low. The health and nutrition of our people is of paramount importance to The Church. As Archbishop and Patriach of the One True Faith I am prepared to offer the blessings of our church and various Indulgences to any citizens who answer the call for a Crusade against any and all nations that represent the citrus producing areas of Texas and Florida. Lord protect Kaiser Auctor.

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o/ Our Glorious Roster! 

 

Auctor, Kaiser

TK, ShahRaja

Schad, Basileus

Hartfw, Khan

Petro, Patriarch and Archbishop

James Maximus, Jutopia and Cynic, Sultan

autosave36, Seneschal

Sarkin, Archein

Rogal Dorn, Wikimaster

Saladjoe, Generalstabsrichter

Bob, Head Bob

Dochartaigh, Grand Druid

Gingervites, Pony Master/Horseplay Minister

Ferdinand I, Imperator

Lord bagel, Quartermaster

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How great and glorious is it to see the return of an alliance as great as The German Empire. It seems the great TGE lies in need of a Pharoah. Humbled by the return of the mighty and glorious Reich, I lie at your disposal oh great Kaiser! May the world tremble as TGE 3.0 (Third Reich 2.0) rises again!

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An Announcement from The Quartermaster of The German Empire

 

The gluttonous Orange Defense Network has failed to meet the demands of The German Empire. As such, I hereby recognize this act of war by the Orange Defense Network. I am establishing a task force to raid and seize 20 crates of oranges from the Orange Defense Network. Lord protect our Kaiser Auctor

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ANOTHER NOTHER NOTHER MISSIVE FROM THE CHURCH OF THE GERMAN EMPIRE

 

Peace and Auctor's Love be upon you. Although the Church welcomes all who come to her with open arms please remember that until you have first prostrated yourself before Kaiser Auctor (Lord Protect Him) The Empire itself can only consider you heathen scum. Please come forward, kneel and swear your fealty to the One True Kaiser so that you might rise as a true son of The German Empire. Lord Protect Kaiser Auctor.

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ANOTHER NOTHER NOTHER MISSIVE FROM THE CHURCH OF THE GERMAN EMPIRE

 

Peace and Auctor's Love be upon you. Although the Church welcomes all who come to her with open arms please remember that until you have first prostrated yourself before Kaiser Auctor (Lord Protect Him) The Empire itself can only consider you heathen scum. Please come forward, kneel and swear your fealty to the One True Kaiser so that you might rise as a true son of The German Empire. Lord Protect Kaiser Auctor.

 

 

All hail the One True Emperor, I kneel and unhesitantly swear fealty to our great Kaiser Auctor. May endless glory and supplies of oranges ever be held in the grasp of the great Reich! I bow

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ANOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER IMPERIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

 

For services rendered and on behalf of a grateful nation, I hereby annoint abbasmehdi to the rank and style of Ayatollah. ALL HAIL ABBASMEHDI. ALL HAIL ABBASMEHDI. ALL HAIL ABBASMEHDI.

 

It is my honor to announce BEazy has been raised to the rank and the style of 1st Dentist of The German Empire. ALL HAIL BEAZY. ALL HAIL BEAZY. ALL HAIL BEAZY.

 

I hereby elevate Boob King to the rank and the style of Grand Imperial Wizard-Pimp of The German Empire. ALL HAIL BOOB KING. ALL HAIL BOOB KING. ALL HAIL BOOB KING.

 

For willingness to rise to the challenge, I hereby annoint Faroah to the rank and the style of Pharoah of The German Empire. ALL HAIL FAROAH. ALL HAIL FAROAH. ALL HAIL FAROAH.

 

For services rendered and for rising to the call of duty and beyond, I hereby raise IYIyth to the rank and the style of That Guy of The German Empire. ALL HAIL IYIYTH. ALL HAIL IYIYTH. ALL HAIL IYIYTH.

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ANOTHER NOTHER NOTHER  ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE QUARTERMASTER OF THE GERMAN EMPIRE

We have conquered the ODN gluttons and seized their oranges. Those not prostrating themselves to Lord Kaiser Auctor shall be dealt with immediately .Those who do shall be granted access to our oranges and other breakfast foods. Lord protect Kaiser Auctor

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ANOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER MISSIVE FROM THE CHURCH OF THE GERMAN EMPIRE

 

Lord be praised and Glory to Kaiser Auctor and Quartermaster Lord Bagel. The German Empire's supply of citrus has been secured by Lord Bagel. As Archbishop and Patriarch of The German Empire I do hereby bestow the titles of Protector of The Citrus and Defender of the Fruit upon Lord Bagel. Rise, ye Holy Warrior of Germany and be recognized by the people as a hero of the Empire and a Protector of the Faith. Lord Protect Kaiser Auctor.

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ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE AYATOLLAH OF THE GERMAN EMPIRE

 

Glory be to the omniscient the omnipresent. From him we came and to him we shall return. By the doctrine of the faith any man or woman not eating oranges shall be stoned to death, any person throwing an orange on the ground shall be whipped 50 times any man who fucks an orange shall receive 70 orange virgins as reward.

 

Orange Achebar  

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ANOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER  ANNOUNCEMENT FROM LORD BAGEL, QUARTERMASTER OF THE GERMAN EMPIRE, PROTECTOR OF THE CITRUS, DEFENDER OF THE FRUIT

In order to avoid yet another orange shortage, all who are found committing the crimes listed by the Ayatollah of The German Empire shall also be denied citrus for a period of 5 days. Only those who have proven to be loyal subject to our Kaiser Auctor shall be allowed to feast upon our most glorious oranges. Also, any man finding himself shitting oranges must bring himself to me so that we may figure out how to utilize this skill to prevent future shortages. Lord Protect Kaiser Auctor.

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ANOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER NOTHER MISSIVE FROM THE CHURCH OF THE GERMAN EMPIRE

 

Lord be praised and Glory to Kaiser Auctor. Although The Church seeks it's Glory in a world beyond this one and looks down upon those who would seek to establish permanence in this life and not the one beyond through marriage and procreation it has been brought to our attention that certain proclivities of our citizens could end our reliance upon foreign citrus. Although The Church strongly believes in resisting earthly desires it also understands that the common man is sometimes powerless to resist his sinful urges. Being accepting of our mortal faults and concerned with our lack of citrus The Church of The German Empire does hereby grant her members the right to congress with Citrus of all flavors for the purpose of greater harvests providing it is performed under the rights of Holy Citromony and for the greater glory of The Church and The Empire. Lord Protect Kaiser Auctor.

Edited by Petro
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