Ryan,
I spoke with you on a few occasions, and you seemed to have your head about you.
You showed me the logs of your "trials."
While there was combativeness in your voice, I can't say that any alliance leader in your position would have done much better, despite the criticism. When pinned into a corner, there are only one of two outcomes. You tried one path and seemed to decide on the wiser one afterwards.
Without knowing the full situation, good luck to you. Maybe you have learned something of the vindictive and treacherous nature of CN politics.