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State of the Corporation: News You Can Use


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The Corporation of Serious Business

We are Currently Addressing You

I'm quite sure you haven't heard much from the Corporation of Serious Business. However, there is a good reason for our absence on the forums. We've been busy! Of course you want to hear all about our activities. I know I do. Time for a recap of the month's activities - the first State of the Corporation: News You Can Use!

In Government

Willingful Erections

Government is an important part of any alliance. As such, we have readapted our government to fit a Serious Business structure. The new government was elected via Magnum Election and is currently part of the standing Magnumvirate. Congratulate these most recently democratically hand-picked persons!

Magnum T. Gundraw, Certainly Evil Officer

p0rkSab3r the Righteous, Dildochairman of the Board and Turbonegro Actifist

&*&^noast, CumManDer-In-Briefs

Ogadai, Jack Officer

For those about to stock, we salute you.

Peaceful Departures

But this great news does not come without grief. Two long-time allies, Jotti and Rey the Great, have left our ranks. According to our sources, Jotti finds himself extremely busy IRL. Allegedly he has suffered a terrible break up with his girlfriend and is attempting to get a restraining order to keep away the clingly woman. :cybr:

Rey the Great has left in order to pursue his dreams as a Icelandic fisherman. We wish him the best in the winter months but we know he will not need it, as we understand Iceland is a solid country not based around senselessly destroying others. Godspeed.

In Diplomatification

On the Removal of Teeth

I'm sure many of you heard about the CSB-ARES split several weeks ago during its highly publicized debut. I am here to shed a little light on the situation.

It all began with a tennis racket. A metaphorical racket, of course. Joe Stupid wielded this racket proudly and considered it one of his most precious items. He walked obliviously down the sidewalk to meet with one of our diplomats, waving his racket as he trode. The diplomat walked towards him, but one misplaced swing curiously placed itself in the diplomat's teeth.

This is the reasoning behind our recent diplomatic split. We wish our diplomat a health recovery.

A Sour Taste

Nemesis is undergoing a series of internal changes and has decided it would be for the best if our treaty was cancelled. WELL WE CANCEL FIRST, WHAT NOW?! Yeah. A sour taste.

The Blackening of Our Name

Recently it has come to our attention that the name of the Corporation of Serious Business has been slandered. I will not name any names, but all those who needlessly declare that CSB has wronged them but offer no evidence to suggest this should hold their tongue. The AUT should be ashamed. Porksaber and myself have been accused of many things through the years but none have stung nearly so deep. We have managed to clear our names through proper diplomatic procedure but warn all future accusers this:

Prove it.

Liberian Transition

With relations between Nemesis and ourselves souring we have decided to upgrade our MADP with SLCB but decided against announcing it to the public for fear of tiznoast looking extremely unprofessional, as he often does. Thank you for your continued professionalism.

And the Best News So Far!

The Corporation of Serious Business after one month has officially passed one million nation strength. This collective achievement could not have been done without the help of our good friend, Uncle Porksaber, whose activism has brought many to our cause.

Don't believe me? Prove it.

tl;dr?:

Free Pacifica.

This has been a

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Announcement

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The AUT should be ashamed. Porksaber and myself have been accused of many things through the years but none have stung nearly so deep.

I falsely accused porskaber but I sure didn't falsely accuse you. Maybe I should bring in youwish and show him the stuff you called him. ;)

Edited by The AUT
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hrm, okies

Quick Edit: I cant help but noticing, SLCB's NS chart, only increases by 300k ns in the 9 days it shows you guys as under their AA. Wouldnt that make CSB only 300k, or smaller. Using another alliances AA as your own doesnt make their NS your own. Im kind of confused and would like to see this explained.

Edited by Barix9
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hrm, okies

Quick Edit: I cant help but noticing, SLCB's NS chart, only increases by 300k ns in the 9 days it shows you guys as under their AA. Wouldnt that make CSB only 300k, or smaller. Using another alliances AA as your own doesnt make their NS your own. Im kind of confused and would like to see this explained.

Well, SLCB is actually owned by a small company in Switzerland, and CSB has a 51% share in that company. Gets a little bit complicated but ask any accountant; CSB's NS is definitely over 1m.

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Why? Why do you constantly fill my screen with this nonsense? Just added you to the AKick list in #RAD so I don't have to see it any more. Kthx.

Why? Why do you click the links of someone who posts nonsense links? I just added you to my personal big meanie list. I'm so angry I'm not even going to finish this sent

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Oh Magnum, your mission to alienate yourselves from the rest of Bob is going swimmingly.

You, sir, are anti-progress.

If by claiming association with the Liberian community is your definition of alienation, you need to put your forked tongue back in your mouth.

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Please be advised, the police are looking into irregularities in your corporation's pension fund. That is all.

That whole unpleasant incident wherein yours truly was unjustly charged with illegal street accounting has been settled out of court. Our books speak for themselves, and the shareholders are very pleased.

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