Tiggah Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 (edited) [center][img]http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/1516/ofp.png[/img][/center] [size=5]Elections (apparently)[/size] [center][img]http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0d682UIfQG7s5/610x.jpg[/img] Caption: Mindless ODN members line up to vote Arsenal[/center] Yes- we had them. Pesky things that only exist to hide the fact Electron Sponge actually rules with ODN with his iron beard. Once the formalities were finished- Arsenal was elected by mindless ODN drones to his usual position as ODN Secretary General. Winning his 5th election in a row- the man so old that he 'does not get Pokemon' - promptly sacrificed a goat, and sheep and 10 oranges to the Gods. In contrast- the ODN senate race was an incredibly close run affair. Successful Candidates Tiggah, Whitney, Jaguar1, Peth and Banksy were the last man (and woman) standing. [center][img]http://www.summer-camp-mma.com/AVAssets/picts/campers/IMG_1151_jpg.jpg[/img] Caption: ODN Senate Candidates race for the positions.[/center] The appointed officials were approved by the [s]shadow government[/s] newly elected Senate soon afterwards and included Huttervan, Joracy and OsRavan returning in their role. After the economics wonder wizard, Merlin, stepped down at the end of last term for 'other realm' reasons, Zsandman took his place. We wish them well. [center]______________[/center] [size=5]TOP Embezzles Stats; Scam Suspected[/size] Johangrad- The orange team economic meltdown is well into it's fifth week, but only now has the true cause of this disaster been conclusively proven to be a result of the tech bubble caused in large part by overeager TOP investors. The stats are quite grim. In the Orange Defense Network alone, losses have surpassed 855,551 infrastructure and 153,836 technology, with more and more disappearing every day. Those who invested heavily in technology on the assumption that prices would never stop rising are facing a foreclosure rate not seen since the Karma treaty bubble. A haggard, unshaven Arsenal was unavailable for any comment beyond "My citizens spent their last paycheques on Roombas". Rumor has it that he has spent the last 48 hours rushing from hamlet to hamlet in Style #386 trying to extinguish the Roomba fires lit by rioting citizens. The now-infamous tech bubble that has left Planet Bob reeling has proven nearly impossible to explain. Tech, in it's natural state, is nearly worthless. Much like diamonds, tulips, and other commodities that have at some point demanded outrageous prices, the value of technology is driven only by a warped perception of supply and demand. At the start a few wealthy investors see an opportunity to profit on an inherently valueless but uncommon item and begin to purchase it in large quantities. Sensing a rush, other investors immediately begin to buy as well. Soon even the average ruler is chasing after technology, if only out of fear of being left behind. Unfortunately, it appears technology has gone the way of tulips rather than diamonds; a short, sudden rise in value followed by a precipitous drop. Soccerbum879 of Sicily testifies: "well, i used to run the Technology Purchase Program back in the day. half the time, no one wanted to buy tech [...] they would rather [...] use their slots to aid little nations $10k at a time than buy tech." Mere months later the price of technology rose to 3 million for a mere 150 points of technology. Within a year it had increased to a paltry 100 points of technology for the same sum. To many it seemed that the price could go no higher. However, due to questionable funding practices, TOP nations were able to purchase technology at the outrageous sum of 50 points of technology for 3 million. Unable to recoup the value of the purchased technology through its minimal utility, TOP nations were forced to continue to take out mortgages against their infrastructure to buy more toxic technology in the vain hope that the bubble would never burst. Near the end, some TOP nations had purchased up to 20,000 infrastructure in order to leverage further loans to buy more technology. Rumor has it that some of them even bought technology at exorbitant prices from domestic dealers in order to meet quarterly quotas. Due diligence was circumvented by using unregulated "warchest" funds, many of which have proven to have far less value than reported. Now that the lenders have come to collect their infrastructure, the hapless rulers who over invested in technology are left to deal with stockpiles of useless junk. Osravan of Osravania reports a unique solution to the overabundance of technology in his nation: "we are eating it. We no longer have farmland (that isn't radioactive) or supermarkets. We have resorted to a subsistence diet of tech". Our hearts go out to his people. Of course, some had long ago warned of the dangers of over-investing in technology. The sage words of rogue economist Hell Scream resonate all too well with many who got burned by the tech bubble: "Tech, right now, is used to inflate Nation Strength, it is nearly useless" If only we had listened. Who was behind this massive scam? Which investors were simply caught up in the tech craze, and which ones were scheming behind the scenes to make a quick buck? The investigation continues, and I, your faithful reporter, promise to follow every twist of the unfolding story. [center]______________[/center] [size=5]ODN Fashion Pages[/size] [b]Hello Cheeky[/b] [center][img]http://th02.deviantart.net/fs51/300W/f/2009/303/4/3/Orange__latex__by_Ryo_Says_Meow.jpg[/img] Caption: Model Colourguardchick4 displaying this stylish piece[/center] Latex is [i]so[/i] in right now. Head Designer Proximus from the <Expletive Deleted> fashion house is using orange latex in his new spring collection. Proximus Intends to showcase his collection in the up-coming C&G fashion week being held in the Greenland Republic. [b]Fashion NOTS[/b] [center][img]http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/2972/peth.png[/img] Caption: Joracy goes full retard[/center] Wow- what the hell? Seriously? Joracy's Orange Pimp collection seriously fails to impress us at OFP. Everyone knows Purple is for Pimps.... [b]Mix and Mash[/b] [center][img]http://images.villagevoice.com/issues/0532/golf/4-Jesper-orange-pants.jpg[/img] Caption: Sir William practices his putting.[/center] The Neboe fashion house went international this week- combining the traditional orange with some Aqua numbers. Going primarily for the TOP market- these two colours along with some C&G fabric are causing an uproar. However- the news is not all positive. After a healthy beginning, sales are expected to slump during TOP's predicted upcoming post-war recession. [b]Practical? Never...?[/b] [center][img]http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/5715/orangew.png[/img] Caption: The brave lads at war[/center] To boost morale in the ODN's constituent territories, a public awareness campaign is being run showcase ODN's front-line soldiers. The Army's new regulation Orange camouflage is being worn by our few remaining citizens as a mark of respect for the soldiers. Although the measure certainly helps generate support and awareness- it makes the fashion department of OPF uneasy.... The [b]real[/b] tragedy of the soldiers is not the death. It is the fact their clothes are identical, dull and made from a low grade fabric. Variation is needed in the uniform. PM and query OsRavan to petition him into allowing more stylish clothing for the military lads. [center]______________[/center] [size=5]Game review[/size] Recently game developer Paradox Interactive released a new expansion pack "Heir to the Throne" for its award winning Europa Universalis 3. It includes many new features and a revised game balance. Overall the expansion received positive reviews. However some avid fans of the series, such as Krimson, are disappointed. [quote]OFP: Krimson, thank you for taking the time to do this interview. We are honored that such a magnificent person as you has taken the time to talk to us. Krimson: You're welcome. OFP: So I heard you think the game has become too realistic and is no fun anymore. Could you explain? Krimson: For example yesterday I was playing as France. I had the biggest army, most income, and was dominating the game. OFP: Sounds good so far. Krimson: But then for some reason Austria decided to raid Russia and those two started fighting. It made me really upset. OFP: Damn warmongers. Krimson: So I declared war on Great Britain. OFP: What? Krimson: Clearly they would have backed their allies Iceland who is allied to Bavaria who is allied to Greece who is allied to Russia. OFP. Eh? Krimson: And they are smug and annoy me. OFP: Oh, ok. Krimson: So I thought my armies will crush them and I shall rule the world alone. But then there is this freakish English Channel....and my armies can't get across. OFP: Well that sucks. Krimson: And then their navy rolls mine and they blockade all my ports. I mean, how can this game be any fun? OFP. So what did you do? Krimson: I deinstalled the game. OFP: Thank you for this insightful review of the game.[/quote] [img]http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/5047/eu3mapf.png[/img] [center]______________[/center] [size=5]Editor's Corner[/size] One Fine Publication is clearly an ODNcentric media source at this time. However, we are looking to expand to a more international base. Interested in writing for us? Please drop me a note and what sort of article you'd like to do. We're looking for entertainment value above all else at this point. We'll be targeting a monthly release at this time, but will move to a more regular release should we find we have the material to do so. Editor: Tiggah Material Written by: Merlin, eZe, Banksy Graphics credits to eZe [center]______________[/center] Edited March 6, 2010 by Tiggah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OsRavan Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Awesome work eric! I love it! And great work eze especially! That one has had me rolling on the floor laughing out loud. ((maybe because I play EU so much)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Style #386 Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Goodness, that is one fine publication if ever I did see one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Z Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 An interesting and amusing read but I'm disappointed that Arsenal of Democracy wasn't featured Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnCapistan Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 A few of these were actually funny. 7.5/10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wickedj Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 [img]http://th02.deviantart.net/fs51/300W/f/2009/303/4/3/Orange__latex__by_Ryo_Says_Meow.jpg[/img] Who dat? (Yes, thats all i gathered from the OP) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merlin Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 I see the new hegemony has found its Sir Paul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banksy Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 (edited) [quote name='Big Z' date='06 March 2010 - 04:45 PM' timestamp='1267851028' post='2215656'] An interesting and amusing read but I'm disappointed that Arsenal of Democracy wasn't featured [/quote] Way to kill off the second issue Edited March 6, 2010 by Banksy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feanor Noldorin Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Our capital city is London? Really? That's kinda insulting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunstar Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 I feel as though this issue contains a distinct lack of me. This makes me most upset. Please rectify the situation at your earliest convenience. Thank you. Also, excellent articles indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saxasm Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Also, poor Great Britain.. Why does that nasty France have to hit them because their allies allies allies hit Frances allies allies allies. I think it is time for Spain to declare war upon Denmark in retaliation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bucovina Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 The Interview was the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratonbox Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 That was a great interview(I had the same problem you had, Krimson). And the pic.. it made me laugh so hard. @ Feanor Noldorin: No, you're capital is Paris, because you are France. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reagan1 Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Well done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neboe Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Hahahaha the designers in Neboe are now experimenting with various prints for the Summer Line. [URL=http://img193.imageshack.us/i/orangepants207x300.jpg/][IMG]http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/6278/orangepants207x300.jpg[/IMG][/URL] Well done Tiggah. Also interesting factoid, I believe Hellas of Sparta is currently sporting the highest Infra to Tech ratio of @ 1:3. How often do you find a 5K infrastructure with over 17K tech? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barnaby von Farter Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Bright orange uniforms for our soldiers makes for great camouflage. Give OsRavan a raise! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggah Posted March 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 [quote name='Neboe' date='06 March 2010 - 02:55 PM' timestamp='1267887636' post='2215904'] Hahahaha the designers in Neboe are now experimenting with various prints for the Summer Line. [URL=http://img193.imageshack.us/i/orangepants207x300.jpg/][IMG]http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/6278/orangepants207x300.jpg[/IMG][/URL] Well done Tiggah. Also interesting factoid, I believe Hellas of Sparta is currently sporting the highest Infra to Tech ratio of @ 1:3. How often do you find a 5K infrastructure with over 17K tech? [/quote] I know of several with 1K infra and a great deal of tech, so I doubt he's got the highest ratio. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shilo Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Fun read, though I'd be interested in first hand previews of AoD as well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tromp Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 LOL, that EUIII review was great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itseZe Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 The finest of the finest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Carrot Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 10/10 for EUIII alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joracy Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 I would like to not that picture of me is entirely photoshopped and fake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meyer Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Good read Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goldie Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 [quote name='merlin' date='06 March 2010 - 01:12 AM' timestamp='1267856231' post='2215715'] I see the new hegemony has found its Sir Paul. [/quote] Sir Paul can't do it as good as this, my hat is off to the makers of this publication. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Kaiser Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 I lol'd at the EU review Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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