Jump to content

A Formal Invitation from FAN


He Who Has No Name

Recommended Posts

[center][img]http://www.grandbastard.reloadpress.com/fan.jpg[/img][/center]

I sat there in the foxhole with the Master. We weren't in the foxhole because we had to be, of course. The NPOgrom ended long ago and we had driven the Francos far from our lands. We were in the trench because we knew it and it was good. And we were hiding.

Sort of.

We were sort of hiding from the desperate wave of cannibals that stalked the lands nowadays, driven mad by their dwindling numbers and searching for others like them or (better yet) prey. They weren't really a problem, though. I mean, 7.62x39mm to the brainpan and squish, no more cannibal. But they were pretty much just a nuisance. Mostly we were hiding from the powers that be. Again.

[i]"So why are we here, anyway?"[/i] I asked the Master.

[i]"Bread and beer, 'course."[/i]. I'd heard this many times. I smiled. I taught him that one.

[i]"No, really. Why here? I know the foxhole and it's good, but why?"[/i]
[i]
"We're here because of war and the gods."[/i]

Now I remembered. Existence was a war for survival. You were at war with everything trying to kill you, everything trying to take what you needed to live... and now these days, no matter how hard you tried to appease them, sorta seemed like the gods were at war with you.

Things didn't used to be so bad and we could deal with things and each other in the wild the way grown, fed-up men dealt with anything - killin' - but nowadays, the gods... well, they seemed to be enjoying themselves some whims and some wrath. Survival was getting hard. Daily sanity was getting hard.

Several of my friends, good men of good character, had been shoved full-tilt through the floor-to-ceiling window of their mind and gone crashing, bloody and full of sharp shards reflecting broken worlds, into the sea of oblivion. The scientists called it a bi-morphal viral pathogen, which could strike suddenly destroying the brain and the body, or progress more slowly into the catatonic wasting form of ID25. But we knew the work of the powers above when we saw it. Everybody does, even the scientists.

Neither form of that kind of death were nice to watch. You always wondered if you were next, always wondered if some superstitious recitation - or forgetting one - would mean you were next. Between the cannibals and the gods, we rarely saw outsiders anymore. Sometimes we even - almost - hoped to see cannibals. The world was getting quiet. I could hear myself think, but I didn't like what I heard.

Then the Master got to the important part.

[i]"And you know what makes a war, right?"[/i] the Master asked me.

[i]"Blood. Makes the flowers grow. Hate, too. Keeps us warm"[/i], I told him. I knew this. Every FAN warrior knew these things. They were our heritage, our rite, and our drinking songs.

[i]"Right idea, but not quite."[/i]

What?

[i]"Guns make war. And this world needs it some war"[/i], he declared.

And he was right. I knew it instantly as I heard it. It made perfect sense. War meant new lands, new faces, new chances, new ideas, new people. War was rebirth. War was life. Guns were war were life.

[i]"...I like it"[/i], I said. [i]"Let me talk to the Fifth Horseman"[/i].

[i]"I already did"[/i], the Master nodded, shifting his Stetson on his brow. [i]"He's doing that fancy gobbledygunk writing crap thing he does."

"The one where he goes on and on and uses all those weird metaphors and symbolism and then later on he's always walkin' around mutterin' and cussing, saying that nobody actually interpreted any of it the right way?"[/i], I asked.

[i]"Yeah, that stuff."[/i]



[i][b]And in what they began to call the End Times, when the wrath of the immortals turned upon the lower beings who had written the tales of the earth, and the need for war and guns cried out like a coyote in the night, The One Who Had No Name rode forth from the doors of the bunker and above its concrete brow he hung a shining sign for all to see and find comfort in:[/b][/i]

[center][img]http://www.questionableintent.net/sharefolder/FAN-gunandhug.gif[/img]


[img]http://fangamers.net/imagehosting/9274cb13117dcb56.jpg[/img][/center]



[i][b]And it was said that if you tuned an old FAN Civil Defense transceiver to just the right freq at twilight, when you could see the tritium left by the bombs from the war glowing deep in the rock outcroppings, you could hear a voice in the wind:
[size="5"]
"FAN is having custom-engraved FAN-15 AR lower receivers - featuring our flag, the Minuteman - made by [url="http://www.sundevilmfg.com/"]Sun Devil Arms[/url]. These are billet receivers. If you would like one, or are interested in more information about FFL transfers and rifle builds, please come talk to us at [url="http://www.fangamers.net"]FAN Gamers.net[/url], and we'll get you on the list! Great for:

[list]
[*]Plinking
[*]Hunting
[*]Competition
[*]Personal defense
[*]SBR builds
[*]Giving Sarah Brady a conniption fit
[*]Party favors
[*]Zombie outbreaks (class 1 through 5)
[*]Baby showers
[*]Fo time
[*]Your kid's middle-school sleepovers
[*]Dynamic entry situations
[*]Unannounced visits by the in-laws
[*]...and other Tier One events!
[/list]

USA only. Compliant with all state and federal laws. CA, MD, MA, NJ, NY, HI, IL please speak with us for details about extra state law requirements. Always follow the 4 Safety Rules and follow all laws regarding safe and legal use, possession and transport. [/size][size="1"]Not responsible if you shoot yer eye out.[/size]"[/b][/i]

Edited by He Who Has No Name
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 78
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

[quote name='Chief Savage Man' timestamp='1286941080' post='2483175']
I would buy one if I had a gun tbh.
[/quote]

Come talk to us over at fangamers.net, we can help you with the build process using a lower parts kit, picking an upper, the whole shebang.

Edited by He Who Has No Name
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='supercoolyellow' timestamp='1286941322' post='2483180']
I was hoping for drama, and all I got was a silly advertisement [img]http://forums.cybernations.net/public/style_emoticons/default/mad.gif[/img]
[/quote]

This is an invitation to get on the list for a batch custom order, not a sales ad. What do you think we're doing, selling guns over the internet? I WISH it was that easy...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='Methos' timestamp='1286941677' post='2483191']
I like this thread.

Sadly, I don't hunt and owning a gun in Canada if you don't hunt just makes you look like a wacko.

Good luck though!
[/quote]

Au contraire, my frostbitten friend, [i]millions[/i] of lawful Canadian firearm owners can't all be whacko.

Well, whacko-er.


The hangup is importation, though. That we probably can't help you with. But you can get things like this in Canada, and they do not make you a whacko. Heck, I was visiting the Sunshine Coast in August, and I saw more firearms up there than I did in my own gun cabinet (and I has me some guns).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='HeroofTime55' timestamp='1286942961' post='2483221']
If I had money and was not a poor college student, I'd be signing up for this in a heartbeat. Please repeat this in the future, when I have an actual job and can afford such nice things, thanks.
[/quote]

The more people in the batch order, the lower the individual unit price. Start rounding up your friends! :awesome:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just a note to those who are unaware:

You need to admit you are over 18 years of age for our main forum, fangamers.net , which is where the details of this are.

If we were advertising, we'd be offering the FAN Engraved Zippos, Embroidered Patches, Printed Geotags, Sewn Flags, and the other Swag we already have. The lower receiver doesn't have "FAN" on it, just the minuteman.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='brass' timestamp='1286944409' post='2483251']
Just a note to those who are unaware:

You need to admit you are over 18 years of age for our main forum, fangamers.net , which is where the details of this are.

If we were advertising, we'd be offering the FAN Engraved Zippos, Embroidered Patches, Printed Geotags, Sewn Flags, and the other Swag we already have. The lower receiver doesn't have "FAN" on it, just the minuteman.
[/quote]

He means not this.

[img]http://fangamers.net/imagehosting/3694b64a8f64a4c5.jpg[/img]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The custom-engraved FAN-15 AR lower receivers look nice and I wouldn't mind having one. I don't have a gun, but if you guys can help with the whole build process I might want to build one. Your invitation sounds interesting, I'll have to stop by when I have some time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='Methrage' timestamp='1286945673' post='2483278']
The custom-engraved FAN-15 AR lower receivers look nice and I wouldn't mind having one. I don't have a gun, but if you guys can help with the whole build process I might want to build one. Your invitation sounds interesting, I'll have to stop by when I have some time.
[/quote]

We have experienced folks who can walk you through the process. You can take your time buying the constituent parts. (All requisite disclaimers here.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='Methrage' timestamp='1286945673' post='2483278']
The custom-engraved FAN-15 AR lower receivers look nice and I wouldn't mind having one. I don't have a gun, but if you guys can help with the whole build process I might want to build one. Your invitation sounds interesting, I'll have to stop by when I have some time.
[/quote]

I've done at least a dozen of them, I'd be more than glad to walk you through the process, and help you with what to buy, etc. :)

Here's my two favorites:

[IMG]http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p264/sirsqueeboo/f96a0667.jpg[/IMG]


[IMG]http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p264/sirsqueeboo/dca78d84.jpg[/IMG]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='He Who Has No Name' timestamp='1286941137' post='2483176']
Come talk to us over at fangamers.net, we can help you with the build process using a lower parts kit, picking an upper, the whole shebang.
[/quote]

I'm so there. I've always wanted to get into that, but never had the time till recently.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='Methos' timestamp='1286941677' post='2483191']
I like this thread.

Sadly, I don't hunt and owning a gun in Canada if you don't hunt just makes you look like a wacko.

Good luck though!
[/quote]

Check out your local range. I think you'll be surprised at how many hobby shooters there are in Canada.


[quote name='jlauzon' timestamp='1286952890' post='2483370']
The Canadian interest in this thread intrigues me. Seems to me Canada has been moving to the conservative side lately. There's no reason you guys can't have nice things like these if you make your voices heard.
[/quote]

Sadly we recently lost a vote on eliminating the long gun registry. I don't know if I qualify as conservative, but I know a waste of money and a useless invasion of privacy when I see one.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...