A....Gift?

[Tahsir]

At no time in particular, in no order, with no real reason, and no real attempts at hiding. Packages were being delivered to most major political figures around the world.

They all contained a cellphone, of random make and condition, some type of weapon, and a bottle of some random alcohol at a random level of fullness without a label.

Also the letters E.P. stylized on the front of each package.

[Il Terra Di Agea]

Any packages sent through Norway would be stopped at customs and destroyed. The transport of firearms and alcohol, without their respective permits and clearances is, of course, grounds for enough suspicion to remove the packages from the mail. Of course, before incineration, the package was briefly inspected, a long pink hair was taken from under the tape, and the initials emblazoning the box would be noted.

OOC: Never trust Ebenezer Pinkerton

That was you, right?

Upon further inspection, it was, but it was quite a while ago. Funny that I even remember that.

Edited January 15, 2010 by Il Terra Di Agea

[Comrade]

Katrina Zykova throws the phone on her desk, cracks open the half full bottle of what she assumes to be JD (From smell and bottle) and admires the Beretta on her desk.

"Hmph. I wish my senators sent my half this stuff!"

[Lynneth]

Lynneth Sarkara's mechanical eye stared at these 'gifts', which were completely useless to him. As machine, he didn't drink alcohol and couldn't fire weapons like that AK47. The cellphone was the only thing he could potentially use, after hacking into it, though he didn't do that and ordered it into quarantine, with the alcohol and the gun destroyed in a furnace.

[Jordosaur94]

The Chancellor thumbed through his package, noticing the M1911, and the bottle of beer. "Interesting.", he says, before opening the bottle.

[Uberstein]

Like Norway, customs destroyed the package, there were far too many code violations on the package, including the type of tape used to close it.

[Vedran]

After reading the report, Vedran appears to be thoroughly confuzzled.

"A fifth of watered-down brandy, a cell phone broken in half, and a kukri with a hot pink grip. Wow."

"What do you want us to do with the contents?"

"I dunno, dump 'em. Then track the package. Maybe send 'em a letter bomb."

"Of what composition, sir?"

"No, dumbass, I was joking."

"Oh...I see."

Vedran let forth a heavy sigh. "Carlo needs to come back from his vacation in Réunion. You are the !@#$tiest assistant ever."

"......"

"I do want you to track the package, by the way. Get to it."

[loannes]

"Dan!" James shouted, looking at the large, open package on his desk.

Donegan popped his head through the door. "Yo?"

"Why the hell was I shipped tequila and an RPG?"

"I dunno. But want to share the tequila?"

"Sure. Send it to get checked for poison, though."

[Captain Enema]

Not being a major world figure leaves Feng Ficai content with his Pez candy dispenser and butterfly knife. He's not sure what to make of either of them, but he's none the less appreciative of the touching gesture.

[The FSM]

**Private**

After recieving the the 3/4 full bottle of high-grade Murmansk Vodka, an old cellphone and an old Luger, Jean's aid made sure to run the alcohol through the appropriate tests to make sure it wouldnt be any more harmful to one's health than Vodka normally is. Though it came out clean, the aid discarded it and replaced it with an identical bottle from the Palazzo's cellar.

Seated in Jean's personal study were a handful of men and women, all looked as if they had been through great hardship. Though three of them were not older than 55, they looked much older. Each person in the room took a shot of the Vodka and Jean raised his glass for a toast.

"My friends, the dream is coming true, soon our people will have a homeland again.

Vasiliy...

Viktor...

Elena...

Pyotr...

Dlya Garretia maya ona snova zhitʹ!"

The refrain was shouted loudly by all in the room and the shots were downed with vigor

[iKrolm]

Antonio Pilar stared at the brick-like cell phone, bow & arrow, and half-full bottle wine bottle sitting on his desk for a moment before searching the box they'd arrived in for any sort clue as to who'd sent them. Nothing but the letters E.P. After a minute more staring at them, he tossed the cellphone in a desk drawer and dumped the bow & arrow and wine bottle on the next unfortunate aid to walk past his door.

Edited January 15, 2010 by iKrolm

[Kaiser Martens]

Dierik receives a very small, thin cellphone, an old but functional revolver and a bottle of wine. He has them analyzed. Weird, he thinks.

[Markus Wilding]

"The hell?" Markus is confronted with vodka, a G36C and a new cellphone. "Jeremy, get these checked for explosives and poisons. And then get me a glass."

[Bacharth]

A small brown boat sailed close to the Betrakte with a gold logo on it's hull. Someone on the ship flagged the ship to stop.

"What the..." Vince closed the throttle and put on the water brakes. He walked down to the main deck and greeted the captain of the other ship. "If this is about the Quarantine, we're just sailing aimlessly, we ha-"

"Package delivery for Vinzent Beauregard and crew."

"Who-"

"International Sea Parcel Service," the man in brown said as he handed him the package. With that, the man walked back to his seat and sailed the ship into the distance.

Vince took the package into the galley where Henrik sat and drank a German beer. "What is it?" he asked.

"A package."

Henrik flung the cap at him.

"Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."

"I guess."

Vince laughed and opened the package. First he pulled out a half empty bottle of some amber liquid. He opened the cap and smelled it. "Smells like Brandy, Henrik." He handed the bottle to Henrik who tasted it and nodded in approval.

He next pulled out a small Dillinger pistol. "Huh." Finally, he pulled out a small cell phone, looked to be an older flip phone model.

Henrik took the phone from his hands. "There a number on it?"

[Zoot Zoot]

Barney, already slightly paranoid about mail in general, something about the sorting office and aliens observed the packages with great interest.

The minigun was leaning aginast the door, ready to be moved down to R+D to reverse engineer it and mass produce it for the military.

An open can of fosters lager, half full also, sat on his desk next to an open bottle of scotch that came with the minigun.

and the cellphone was sat in the sorting office bin back in the post office.

Barney had it sent back.

[Sargun II]

King Sargun blinked momentarily as a Challenger II tank was delivered to his personal place of resident, with a gas tank full of vodka, and an iPhone.

"This is awesome," he says as he orders the tank to be towed to his garage - and if the garage of the palace won't fit the tank, build a bigger one.

[Subtleknifewielder]

"E. P? Are you sure?"

The aide nodded. As Anthony was currently in charge, he'd received the package--after, of course, it had been checked for any possible contaminants or other dangers. He had the cell phone secured, deciding he'd check it later, and stared at the half-full bottle of whiskey, sitting next to the jewelled dagger.

"Well, that's interesting, but not really relevent to anything right now. Store them in a safe place, please."

[Tahsir]

Abruptly, all the cellphones that were not destroyed, or signal isolated, started ringing. Some with the people they were meant to be with, others in the places they had been tossed, other still in their packages, precision was not a key factor here.

Anyone that had bothered to answer would find themselves on a conference line with everyone else that had picked up. Which could be why alcohol was included, and possibly why the weapon as well.

There was also any annoying buzzing sound. It wasn't interference, it was a buzz being sent into the line. Not loud enough to be a inconvenient, but it was irritating.

[Sargun II]

"What a soothing buzzing sound," Sargun thought.

Thought.

[iKrolm]

Antonio spent several minutes searching the shelves in his office and was on the verge of calling an electrician when he remembered the cellphone in his desk.

"Hello?"

[Pikachurin]

Due to the lockdown that was in effect in Disparu, the package would never reach it's intended destination. However, due to the package's suspicious and illegal contents, the package was kept in a sealed case marked as "Suspicious", along with a list of the package's violations under Disparuean law.

[Lynneth]

As the phone sent to Sarkara was kept in quarantine, nobody would ever notice it ringing.

[Jordosaur94]

The Chancellor was caught off guard by the cellphone ringing, and immediately, he grabbed it and tried to answer it.

[Comrade]

Katrina Zykova, falling over a chair drunk, dives for the phone. She grabs it and yells "WAZZAUP!" into it.

[comrade nikonov]

The Presidium opened up the package at the Presidential Palaces last night.

The President of the Union Republic of Moldova took the vodka home, drank one sip, and spit it out, saying it tasted like the lighter fluid he had to substitute for hard liquor during the hard Soviet days at the kolkholz.

The President of the Union Republic of Belarus thought it was interesting to find such an interesting weapon, a Steyr AUG, in the package, and went to shoot radioactive boar in the Chernobyl boar over the weekend.

The President of the Federal Union got the short end of the deal and took a stupid phone home. As he was tired of being constantly pestered he gave it to his young daughter to play with. When it rang, she pressed the green call key and said "This is Sarah! Whats up, girl?".