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Kap Bambino Declaration of War


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maybe I should explain what being an enemy of GOONS actually is.

- All GOONS members are entitled to spread gossip about the enemy, implying that she is a slut who did it with a teacher after gym class

- GOONS members may, at their leisure, approach the enemy, mumbling the words "a moron says what?" in the hopes of getting the enemy to say "what?"

- After class a bunch of us are totally going to where the enemy lives and TPing his house

- GOONS high command will order pizza in large amounts to be delivered to the enemy's house, whereupon he will have to pay for it or make the pizza guy angry.

- wedgies, atomic wedgies, atomic twirling wedgies and full pantsings will be administered to the enemy at our discretion

- the enemy is so not invited to our 16th birthday party

I used to do this when Jack was in TAB. He's not really an enemy in alliance to national terms, its more like writing his name down on a piece of paper with the words "Guys that Smell" scrawled at the top of the page and underlined. So, will GOONS actively seek retribution against Mr. Diorno after this brief episode has concluded, or not?

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maybe I should explain what being an enemy of GOONS actually is.

- GOONS high command will order pizza in large amounts to be delivered to the enemy's house, whereupon he will have to pay for it or make the pizza guy angry.

Thats just madness.

So, I know GOONS secret war plan now, make them to fat to move and then they will roll them over.

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So does that mean once he hits zero infrastructure he'll be allowed to join an alliance and rebuild? Cool, good to know.

From what I understood of what the GOONS's are saying here, Jack doesn't even need to hit ZI to be "allowed" to do that. He's just "on the EoG" list, with that meaning that "he's open to attacks".

Should Jack join a powerful enough alliance, or probably even "any" "average" alliance, I don't doubt that the GOONS would leave him alone. On the other hand, should he remain in a nano-alliance or unaligned I don't doubt that the GOONS would consider him open to attacks anyway (ITT they allow raids, I didn't bother to check).

All of this sums up to the concept that the GOONS are taking bad PR (PZI/EZI talk) in exchange for "nothing" - which by itself qualifies their PR department as "notable".

Unless of course they intend to actively hinder Jack's ability to join some other alliance - and the reasonability of this last scenario is another interesting topic, but let's not digress too much...

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From what I understood of what the GOONS's are saying here, Jack doesn't even need to hit ZI to be "allowed" to do that. He's just "on the EoG" list, with that meaning that "he's open to attacks".

Should Jack join a powerful enough alliance, or probably even "any" "average" alliance, I don't doubt that the GOONS would leave him alone. On the other hand, should he remain in a nano-alliance or unaligned I don't doubt that the GOONS would consider him open to attacks anyway (ITT they allow raids, I didn't bother to check).

All of this sums up to the concept that the GOONS are taking bad PR (PZI/EZI talk) in exchange for "nothing" - which by itself qualifies their PR department as "notable".

Unless of course they intend to actively hinder Jack's ability to join some other alliance - and the reasonability of this last scenario is another interesting topic, but let's not digress too much...

It should be noted he's on our !@#$list too.

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Thats just madness.

So, I know GOONS secret war plan now, make them to fat to move and then they will roll them over.

Maybe it's gluten free; thin crust low fat pizza? Then the enemy might only be slightly more plump than before, in which case they might move a lottle slower, but still able to manage a waddle.

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From what I understood of what the GOONS's are saying here, Jack doesn't even need to hit ZI to be "allowed" to do that. He's just "on the EoG" list, with that meaning that "he's open to attacks".

Should Jack join a powerful enough alliance, or probably even "any" "average" alliance, I don't doubt that the GOONS would leave him alone. On the other hand, should he remain in a nano-alliance or unaligned I don't doubt that the GOONS would consider him open to attacks anyway (ITT they allow raids, I didn't bother to check).

All of this sums up to the concept that the GOONS are taking bad PR (PZI/EZI talk) in exchange for "nothing" - which by itself qualifies their PR department as "notable".

Unless of course they intend to actively hinder Jack's ability to join some other alliance - and the reasonability of this last scenario is another interesting topic, but let's not digress too much...

Feel free to digress as much as you wish.

Edited by Biazt
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