Poor Recruitment Messages

[lmcfalcon12]

Okay, so I left my alliance 3 days ago, and to be honest, I'm very content with AA of none right now so I can wind down and just chillax. Work in my last alliance, was just that. It turned out to be more work than fun. I've received 28 recruitment messages in 3 days and reading them is kind of funny, but I thought it would be interesting to discuss things NOT to put in your message. I see we have had similar topics, but I don't think we've actually picked apart what is good in a message and what is bad. Anything quoted below is an actual quote from a message I have received:

Jack ****** - Leader of the best alliance in CN

I'll spare this gent from having his whole name on here. The one thing that makes me laugh and is irritating at the same time; DO NOT PUT THIS IN YOUR MESSAGE! That does not get people to join. In fact, I would never join an alliance that thought they were "the best in CN". Now that I'm looking at it, this alliance only has 1 member, and they are called "Abortion Disco". (If anyone thinks that's offensive, I'll report it).

To: lmcfalcon12 From: **** Date: 7/25/2009 9:15:55 PM

Subject: wow

Message: should i even bother lol.

This was an interesting one ^. Yes you should bother. If you think you're wasting your time to ask, then why recruit at all? At least give it an honest effort. Anyone considers any alliance so long as they have good attributes and a solid recruitment ploy.

To: lmcfalcon12 From: ***** Date: 7/25/2009 8:18:01 PM

Subject: Fear none Kill all

Message: Looking for a new alliance? We'd gladly help you out. We can offer you everything you expect in an alliance and hopefully alot more. Message me back for details or visit our forums:

fnka.b1.jcink.com

Really? I hope you have more than good forums. Nothing here has enticed me, so I will not be visiting unfortunately.

To: lmcfalcon12 From: ****** Date: 7/25/2009 6:38:53 AM

Subject: I guess you were with Legion

Message: Hi,

I guess you were with Legion. Is there a reason why you quit?

******

A subtle recruitment reply. Yes I was with Legion. No, I will not confirm nor deny why I left.

To: lmcfalcon12 From: ******** Date: 7/25/2009 1:53:25 AM

Subject: Hello

Message: I was wondering if you were looking for an alliance. If so, is there anything in particular you're searching for?

Why should I waste time swapping messages when you have offered me nothing? Sure I could click your name, look at your AA, search for your forums, read your charter, register, etc. But if I don't like it there, its a futile effort.

Good/Decent Messages:

No message is perfect, and the ones below are not, but they put forth an honest effort and are fine examples of messages to improve upon.

To: lmcfalcon12 From: ******* Date: 7/24/2009 2:18:20 PM

Subject: Greetings from a crazy person

Message: Hi lmcfalcon12! I'd like to invite you to join the Random Insanity Alliance. The RIA has 177 members and we're 3 years old!

We're very fun and not too strict or serious. We don't force you to switch team colour. If you join, you can help out by being a diplomat, recruiter, joining a brigade or maybe running for government. If none of that interests you, you can just chillax. We can help you with trade circles and tech buying too.

Check out our wiki if you want to learn more about us.

cybernations.wikia.com/wiki/RIA

I'm sure you're getting a lot of messages from other alliances and picking one is probably a hard decision but I hope you pick RIA! I did and I haven't regretted it! If you're not sure, you can join for a few weeks and then leave if it's not for you.

If you'd like to join just register and apply on our forums:

http://cybernations.rialliance.net

Please message me if you have any questions. Hope to see ya join soon. Thanks.

*******

Let's see where to start? A wiki page link. Check. A forum link. Check. Personal message including recipients name in the message. Bonus points there, you already see extra care taken. History, tech buying, trade circles. Check 3x. My only gripe: entrance aid? I don't need any, but for the smaller nations, do you offer it?

To: lmcfalcon12 From: ******* Date: 7/24/2009 7:16:50 PM

Subject: Hello Out There

Message: I am one of the proud leaders of the Order of the Four Leaf Clover alliance and I wanted to inviting you to apply to the OFLC.

We are protected and we protect our own. We promote and allow our members to raid others in the hopes of stealing away freebies.We offer for members chances to make money, in our tech deal programs. Where you exchange technology for cash.

If you want to be able to expand your nation and let its economy grow without threat of raiders apply to OFLC at:

http://z8.invisionfree.com/CNClover

This may not look like a good message at first, but an alliance who allows tech raiding will certainly be of importance to nations who play the game for war purposes. Tech deals and a forum link are good points too. Overall not bad. Kudos to you guys.

One more I swear...

To: lmcfalcon12 From: ******* Date: 7/25/2009 8:33:30 AM

Subject: IAA WANTS YOU!!

Message: Greetings!

Doubtless, you have received many messages from several alliances. I'm here to tell you about the Imperial Assault Alliance. We are a Star Wars based alliance with a great community. We are a democracy, and therefore all members can vote on every subject. We have a program that allows you to purchase nukes by 15000 NS. We are a defensive alliance, and we do not seek out wars. We only protect our allies. Nevertheless, our military is very organized. We offer tech convoys in which new nations can make money from selling tech and older nations can buy tech cheap. We are also a part of Blunity, which will allow you to be part of a Blunity trade circle. We also have several aid programs. However, the best part is our great community-and we'd like you to join it! So please visit us at http://forums.theimperialassault.com/index.php and sign up to join. I hope to see you soon!

***************************

A program to get nations with only 15 K NS to buy nukes? Attention already grabbed. Protecitng allies, cheap tech, forum link, and personal aspects like great community atmosphere. Out of all the messages I received, this is probably the best one. Good job IAA. A small alliance that will have great success.

Anyone have any interesting, and/or lame messages they would like to share?

[Cataduanes]

No one ever sends me recuitment messages

EDIT: Mind you i always fly an AA so that probably explains why....

Edited July 27, 2009 by Cataduanes

[Kevin McDonald]

Oh that Jack Diorno.

[Matthew Conrad]

I guess you didn't read the Abortion Disco DoE

[Jack Diorno]

AHAHAHAHA the first one is me!

Im writing a story of a lone man in an AA, every day trying a different recruitment message to seduce the people of CN to join my alliance, I've had quite a few interesting chats with random NONE players

[pd73bassman]

Another one of these threads?? There is always going to be bad recruiters in the game but we don't have to be reminded evrytime they send a message thank you

Edited July 27, 2009 by pd73bassman

[Sanru]

Another one of these threads?? There is always going to be bad recruiters in the game but we don't have to be reminded evrytime they send a message thank you

Nothing wrong with them - messages like these falcon posted are always good for a laugh.

[pd73bassman]

Nothing wrong with them - messages like these falcon posted are always good for a laugh.

True

[Mayzie]

Join us, we want you so bad we've not even bothered to send you a message!

I must admit, some of those messages are a bit bizarre. As always, personal, clear and concise messages with proper punctuation ftw. Why people resort to ''should I even bother lol'' and stuff like that I'll never know, in fact anyone who puts lol in an advertisement, which is what these messages essentially are wants sacking.

[Jack Diorno]

I now sign everything as follows

- Jack Diorno, Leader of the best alliance in CN.

I'm like Bama but more truthful.

- Jack Diorno, Leader of the best alliance in CN.

[Trinite]

I kind of want to join abortion disco now...

Have you gotten any haikus? If not, I am very disappointed by the state of CN recruitment.

[Alicia]

I'll spare this gent from having his whole name on here. The one thing that makes me laugh and is irritating at the same time; DO NOT PUT THIS IN YOUR MESSAGE! That does not get people to join. In fact, I would never join an alliance that thought they were "the best in CN". Now that I'm looking at it, this alliance only has 1 member, and they are called "Abortion Disco". (If anyone thinks that's offensive, I'll report it).

What is the point in removing the name if you are going to give out the name of a one man alliance? Besides, I think we all knew who it was.

[kerschbs]

Have you received a message from GATO? If not, I need to get on our recruiters.

[Fokker Aeroplanbau]

Nothing wrong with them - messages like these falcon posted are always good for a laugh.

I couldn't agree more. Maybe when the OWRP was just filled with these topics, then sure, but as is it's great for nations already in an alliance to see what recruiting messages are out there.

Edited July 27, 2009 by Fokker Aeroplanbau

[lmcfalcon12]

What is the point in removing the name if you are going to give out the name of a one man alliance? Besides, I think we all knew who it was.

At the exact moment I wrote it, I did not know that it was a one man alliance. And I didn't want to delete half the text. And besides, I took out everyone's name so whether you know or they know who they are in the thread is not really the point. Everyone got the same courtesy one man or 100 man.

Have you received a message from GATO? If not, I need to get on our recruiters.

I have not. I have no plans to join but I will gladly accept a message.

Edited July 27, 2009 by lmcfalcon12

[Nedved I]

At the exact moment I wrote it, I did not know that it was a one man alliance. And I didn't want to delete half the text. And besides, I took out everyone's name so whether you know or they know who they are in the thread is not really the point. Everyone got the same courtesy one man or 100 man.

I have not. I have no plans to join but I will gladly accept a message.

I'll send you a message!

[Machiabelly]

"Let's see where to start? A wiki page link. Check. A forum link. Check. Personal message including recipients name in the message. Bonus points there, you already see extra care taken. History, tech buying, trade circles. Check 3x. My only gripe: entrance aid? I don't need any, but for the smaller nations, do you offer it?"

I think the fact they did not offer you entry aid shows that it is personalized to you, and not a random message that could be going to a lower NS nation.

[Hassman]

I just sent maturing recruitment message. For big nations only however tis true though.

[lmcfalcon12]

"Let's see where to start? A wiki page link. Check. A forum link. Check. Personal message including recipients name in the message. Bonus points there, you already see extra care taken. History, tech buying, trade circles. Check 3x. My only gripe: entrance aid? I don't need any, but for the smaller nations, do you offer it?"

I think the fact they did not offer you entry aid shows that it is personalized to you, and not a random message that could be going to a lower NS nation.

Good call. I didn't think about that. That is definitely a possibility. That definitely shows that their heads are on straight and they know what to write for particular potential member bases.

EDIT: I knew this was coming. Seven recruitment messages in my inbox bringing my total to 35!

Edited July 27, 2009 by lmcfalcon12

[Fort Pitt]

I actually do think Abortion Disco is offensive regardless of his appeal.

[Hassman]

Good call. I didn't think about that. That is definitely a possibility. That definitely shows that their heads are on straight and they know what to write for particular potential member bases.

EDIT: I knew this was coming. Seven recruitment messages in my inbox bringing my total to 35!

The WAPA one will win you over i promise.

[lmcfalcon12]

I actually do think Abortion Disco is offensive regardless of his appeal.

Yeah. A guy like me doesn't care either way, however I can see how some people could be offended. He might want to consider a new AA name.

The WAPA one will win you over i promise.

The best so far. I will admit.

To: lmcfalcon12 From: ******* Date: 7/27/2009 11:30:42 AM

Subject: 200 tech to join WAPA

Message: Hello, I would like to invite you to join We Are Perth Army because:

1. We give new mature members 100 tech.

2. We give you another 100 tech if you help with the alliance aswell we love that everyone puts in the alliance you get something back.

3. We can arrange trades within We Are Perth Army or through SNOW if your a white team nation.

4. We offer you the chance to sell tech to help your nation prosper in an organised environment.

5. We teach you to fight and will always jump in to protect you and fight beside you if you're attacked.

6. WAPA is a fun alliance to be in and has one of the most active public forums in cybernations so you can get to know your fellow WAPA members fast and get to learn some scotish banter

Why wait? View our recruitment video :

PM me for more info or sign up on our forums here: http://www.wearepertharmy.co.uk/phpbb3

Join today and we’ll grow stronger together.

200 tech to a nation like mine puts me at almost 3000. Plus it would add nearly 2,000 NS onto my nation. A recruitment video which is something I don't believe anyone else had to offer. Then you guys make sure that if you put something in, you get something back. Kudos and excellent job.

Edited July 27, 2009 by lmcfalcon12

[Hassman]

YEAS! Thank you Pedroboo.

[lmcfalcon12]

To: lmcfalcon12 From: ****** * Date: 7/27/2009 11:51:29 AM

Subject: lolololol

Message: In CyberNations, not being apart of an alliance can be very dangerous. Without an affiliation, you risk continual attack from "tech raiders" who will launch offensive wars against you. This is easily preventable by joining an alliance. The Legion offers stability, security and strength, and at 3 years old, we have withstood the test of time.

Some benefits of membership include:

- 200 free tech for joining

- Extensive bank system

- Large number of tech deals/sleds

- Stable leadership

- Companionship in a tight knit community

To learn more, please follow this link;

*http://avelegio.net/membership/*

Saw your thread in CN forums

for the lulz...

Ah yes. The Legion has a pretty nice recruitment letter and ploy. But well...you know.

[Nedved I]

Ah yes. The Legion has a pretty nice recruitment letter and ploy. But well...you know.

Our actual recruitment messages don't say for the lulz, or lololol, that was a simple joke playing off the irony that he had just recently quit The Legion.