Generalissimo Posted October 17, 2009 Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 (edited) In the ruins of Saint George City Generalissimo has called yet another a press conference, this media event could have been held a little closer to civilization but Generalissimo prefers the atmosphere of an abandoned city. Generalissimo stands behind a podium next to a bullet-ridden car visibly holding a stack of folders clearly marked Classified: Procinctia Armed Forces Military Command analysis concerning Operation Connect Four, proposed operational directives for the proposed liquidation of Kaiser Martens. “It’s been a month since any of anyone’s heard anything from me even on Procinctia Broadcasting Corporation transmissions; my relative inactivity has been perpetuating unsubstantiated rumors, speculation, and Wild Mass Guessing – I stand beofre today to set the record strait once and for all. Once again there are only two rules today - if possible keep your clothes on and please refrain from attempting to kill me until after this media event, try not to abuse this freedom otherwise various security measures will be activated ensuring my survival and this conference will continue as scheduled. Pleas don't even bother taking turns asking questions, I’ll get around to most your inquires eventually. Today’s press conference is not limited to people with media credentials; it’s also open to international personalities and other world leaders who undoubtedly want to know what I’ve been up to. Addressing the topic at hand, the rumors are mostly true. . . all of them." Generalissimo, Generalissimo of Procinctia Ruins of Saint George City, Saint George Island Out of Character Stuff: I’ve been mostly inactive for the past month or so, here long just enough to avoid being wiped yet not here enough to be a real part of the community. I’m making it up to everyone with a fun game, ask about any rumor concerning Generalissimo’s whereabouts (or about Generalissimo himself) and he’ll explain how it’s mostly true. Edited October 17, 2009 by Generalissimo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eggman Empire Posted October 17, 2009 Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 OOC:Oh, goody, your back! I missed the zaniness you brought to the forums Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynneth Posted October 17, 2009 Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 (edited) An Austrian reporter raised his hand. "Is it true you wrecked havoc in an Austrian pie-factory after not being allowed to try out their apple pie?" Edited October 17, 2009 by Lynneth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sargun II Posted October 17, 2009 Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 "Is it true you did the entire September '09 Calendar harem?" Asked a Carthaginian reporter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subtleknifewielder Posted October 17, 2009 Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 "Is it true that you were touring the Outback in Australia, were bitten by a rattlensake, and somehow the snake died instead of you?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingChris Posted October 17, 2009 Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 "The statement that there was "no sex of any kind in any manner, shape or form, between Ms. Lewinsky and Generalissimo," was an utterly false statement. Is that correct?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergerberger II Posted October 17, 2009 Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 "Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Tintagyl Posted October 17, 2009 Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 Hanseatic girls all over the country are caught up in Generalissimo-fever. Many have posters in their room that look like this. It is rumored that Lady Asgeirsson herself is a fan of who might possibly be, the most interesting man in the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Razgriz 2K9 Posted October 17, 2009 Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 OOC: The Dos Equis man....I'm a fan myself. IC: Is it true that you beat Chuck Norris in every event you took part with him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tahsir Posted October 17, 2009 Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 (edited) Is it true about you trying on your Ambassador's school uniform? Edited October 17, 2009 by Tahsir Re Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otto Verteidiger Posted October 18, 2009 Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 Is it true you've been too lazy to rebuild St. George since the last war between Procinctia and Republic of War? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vedran Posted October 18, 2009 Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 (edited) "I've heard a rumor that spies of unknown origin tried to kill you with exploding cigars. Is this true?" "Is it true you've been playing in the Carthage Gridiron Football tournament under an assumed name but you quit because you suck at it?" - both questions by an anonymous reporter Edited October 18, 2009 by Vedran Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tahsir Posted October 18, 2009 Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 "Is it true you're really a spy for Kaiser Martens, and you've been pretending to be his greatest enemy?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Il Terra Di Agea Posted October 18, 2009 Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 "Are you really Kaiser Martens in disguise? I've never seen you two together in photos without one completely covered in something or other. It's all pretty damn suspicious!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Generalissimo Posted October 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 (edited) An Austrian reporter raised his hand. "Is it true you wrecked havoc in an Austrian pie-factory after not being allowed to try out their apple pie?" It was an appropriate response to a Dark Hand plot to deny Generalissimo apple pie.The families have been compensated. "Is it true you did the entire September '09 Calendar harem?" Asked a Carthaginian reporter. Yes, Generalissimo did that with the entire September '09 Calendar harem - as well as their respective staffs and photographers. Although not necessarily at the same time, as commonly believed. "Is it true that you were touring the Outback in Australia, were bitten by a rattlensake, and somehow the snake died instead of you?"Yes, my blood is surprisingly fatal to rattlensakes and goldfish."The statement that there was "no sex of any kind in any manner, shape or form, between Ms. Lewinsky and Generalissimo," was an utterly false statement. Is that correct?" That is correct, Ms. Lewinsky is part of the aforementioned September '09 Calendar harem."Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?" Scolar Visari stole the cookie from the cookie jar.Hanseatic girls all over the country are caught up in Generalissimo-fever. Many have posters in their room that look like this. Little known fact, said poster is distributed by Generalissimo to rise additional finances for the Kiska Atka bounty.It is rumored that Lady Asgeirsson herself is a fan of who might possibly be, the most interesting man in the world. Lady Asgeirsson is an unapologetic Generalissimo fangirl who’s hording at least (if not more than) 1/5 of the world’s Generalissimo paraphernalia when she's not stalking Generalissimo.Is it true that you beat Chuck Norris in every event you took part with him?I’ve beat Chuck Norris in every event we’ve taken part together, yet the only event so far has been table tennis. Our last game was a two hundred hour long game of Ping-Pong on top of a burning blimp - Norris wants a rematch. Is it true about you trying on your Ambassador's school uniform? It’s not the same uniform, Lisk’a wouldn’t fit, so my skirt is custom tailored.It’s not a well known fact, but I’ve been attending classes regularly at Liska’s all-girl-school since she’s joined my administration. Is it true you've been too lazy to rebuild St. George since the last war between Procinctia and Republic of War? I wouldn’t call it lazy per say, it’s just the result of extended procrastination and a lack of motivation. . . I’m sure I’ll get around to it eventually.I’m not making excuses or anything, but if I rebuilt St. George where would I hold international press conferences? Edited October 18, 2009 by Generalissimo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Generalissimo Posted October 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 (edited) "Is it true you've been playing in the Carthage Gridiron Football tournament under an assumed name but you quit because you suck at it?" - both questions by an anonymous reporter I've been playing in the Carthage Gridiron Football tournament pseudonym Allissimo Gen, I had to quit because my rating was less than average from penalties provoked by exploding cigars."I've heard a rumor that spies of unknown origin tried to kill you with exploding cigars. Is this true?" Spies have been trying to kill me will exploding cigars for year, but their origins aren't entirely unknown. I know exactly who where they come from. Here's a hint, it rhymes with Dransvaal. "Is it true you're really a spy for Kaiser Martens, and you've been pretending to be his greatest enemy?"Am I a spy for Kaiser Martens? You dare insinuate I’m sort of Nordista spy? Do you know who I am? I’ve been fighting Martens from the beginning. ! ! ! I’m Generalissimo, Generalissimo of ! ! ! I could have you shot, then killed, I could. . . who am I kidding? I have been sharing intelligence with ‘Kaiser Martens’ for a long time. "Are you really Kaiser Martens in disguise? I've never seen you two together in photos without one completely covered in something or other. It's all pretty damn suspicious!"Kaiser Martens and I share a common identity, you’re right about that muchYou have all the pieces yet you still assemble the puzzle incorrectly. Kaiser Martens is and has always been a mask of Generalissimo. I’m not Martens in disguise because Kaiser Martens, as you know him, does not exist. Edited October 18, 2009 by Generalissimo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eggman Empire Posted October 18, 2009 Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 Is it true the Genshabi Pharmaceuticals Inc. uses your blood to treat diseases like smallpox, anthrax, bubonic plague, the Marburg virus, measles, mumps, rubella, rabies, West Nile virus, a many others? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaiserMelech Mikhail Posted October 18, 2009 Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 How do you stay so tan while you live in a Northern country? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tahsir Posted October 18, 2009 Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 Is it true that Santa Clause is really you in a red suit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefano Palmieri Posted October 18, 2009 Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 "Is it true that you were touring the Outback in Australia, were bitten by a rattlensake, and somehow the snake died instead of you?" OOC: No Rattlesnakes in Australia IC: "Is it true that you went on a rampage in Northern Libya after finding out Alcohol is Illegal?" asked a Libyan Reporter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynneth Posted October 18, 2009 Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 "Is it true that you once rode a thermonuclear missile into the moon just to see what happens and came out unscathed?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sargun II Posted October 18, 2009 Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 "Is it true that you drank pure capsaicin at 16,000,000 scovilles, and it was so hot that you !@#$ out the sun?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pikachurin Posted October 18, 2009 Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 "Is it true that you once had a match against a polar bear and won?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zarfef Posted October 18, 2009 Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 (edited) Is it true that you took a vacation in the Aether Empire during the time when Carthage decided to drop 24 nuclear weapons on them and then came out in the morning (unscathed) from your hotel (the only thing left standing) and thought you were back home in Saint George? Edited October 18, 2009 by Zarfef Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Markus Wilding Posted October 18, 2009 Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 Is it true that you are the real ruler of the Johto Empire and only stay in St. Paul to avoid the multiple nations rule? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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