Persephone3 Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 FARKISTAN ERECTION ANNOUNCEMENT - TOURING THE SAUSAGE FACTORY ironone approaches the unconscious and sprawled out Raving_Mainy Yak. "Yak! Yak! Wake up!" "Huh? Hide the gerbils! Wha? Where am I?" "Council Chambers. Remember, we had the erection victory party last night?" "Oh yeah! Got any ibuprofin? Or codeine?" "No time for that. We've got a problem." "Already!?! We've barely just been erected! What is it?" "I have a screenshot that seems to suggest that our ad dept has gone AWOL" "Well that's not entirely out of the ordinary, they are a bunch of reprobates anyways. But what have you found?" "It appears our Ministry of Truth has gone rogue, and is planning on unleashing their bizarre minds on to the OWF without restraint! I was just given this screenshot and IRC log: [11:27]<The_Dixie_Flatline[Fark]> Ok, so we need to get back to work on the September announcement. I was thinking [11:27]<Lolanae[Fark]> Masochist! [11:27]<Shinfat[Fark]> What? We were talking about the new announcement. [11:28]<Lolanae[Fark]> That's my idea. We could have all sorts of dudes in black leather [11:28]<Lolanae[Fark]> whipping and sucking eachothers [11:28]<Yak[Fark]> Whoa, there! [11:28]<Kahiel[Fark]> T-M-I, Lolanae. [11:29]<Bleak[Fark]> God, I need mind bleach now. [11:29]<Yak[Fark]> Can we please get back on topic? [11:29]<The_Dixie_Flatline[Fark]> Ok, so someone told me that we can't say 'Farking' on the main boards anymore, and that got me thinking [11:30]<D2theMcV[Fark]> What the Fark?! We can't say 'farking'?! [11:30]<Kamrat[Fark]> Yeah! Why the fark not? I love farking. [11:30]<Romero[Fark]> Huh? Uh... yeah! Farking! [11:30]<soulatomic[Fark]> Nice of you to wake up for the meeting, Romo. [11:30]<TheBigMike[Fark]> This is farked up. I farking love saying fark! [11:30]<The_Dixie_Flatline[Fark]> RIGHT. THAT'S WHY I thought of this idea... we should have an announcement where we spell out FARKING in a really secret or creative way. [11:31]<Bleak[Fark]> Heh. Hell yeah! Ninja farking! Secret farking! Farking in the bushes! [11:31]<Yak[Fark]> Not bad. It would be pretty lame to just come out and start screaming 'farking' at the sky over a minor incident. [11:32]<Kamrat[Fark]> yeah, that would be lame.... FARKING FARKING FAAARK! [11:32]<Kahiel[Fark]> FARKING AT THE SKY!! [11:32]<The_Dixie_Flatline[Fark]> FARKING FARKING FARKING [11:32]<Shinfat[Fark]> farking farking farking farking [11:32]<Bleak[Fark]> FARKING FARKING FARK FARK YOU! [11:32]<Corruptious> Fark the farking farkers. Who got erected, anyway? [11:32]<D2theMcV[Fark]> FARKING FARKING FARKING *soulatomic[Fark] screams FARKING! FARKING! FARKING! [11:32]<Yak[Fark]> Who cares? As long as we explain that Fark.com is a real place and that reading Fark.com is called 'Farking' we should be able to get away scot free! [11:33]<Lolanae[Fark]> I don't want to get away scot free. [11:33]<Lolanae[Fark]> I want a good, hard spanking! [11:33]<Yak[Fark]> HI-YO! She does it again! [11:33]<Kamrat[Fark]> Ok, I'm starting to like her idea. [11:33]<Romero[Fark]> Yeah, me too! [11:33]<soulatomic[Fark]> And after the spanking, the oral sex! [11:34]<The_Dixie_Flatline[Fark]> What's with these farking chicks?!? *Yak[Fark] facepalms "We believe they're going to use a "Wheel of Fortune" theme, based on this shoop we found" "Yeah, this is bad! It would seem my evil twin (who happens to have exactly the same name as me) and his henchmen have run amok! With their mad shoop skills, and relentless image searching, there's no telling what kind of havoc they could wreak! Contact the rest of the Council and have them meet at the MiniTru HQ, ASAP!" So, after much devouring of OTC painkillers, teeth brushing, and tongue shaving, the TFC embarked on the perilous road to MiniTru Headquarters. After cautiously making their way across the MiniTru Farkinglot... ...the Total Fark Council finally gathered outside the haven of the MiniTru elves. Yak ordered the Council to split up and find the elves. ironone went to the workshop. But, alas! Amongst all the haphazard tools and unidentifiable machinery, nary a MiniTru elf could be found! Meanwhile, Randomly Jim checked the living quarters. In retrospect, Randomly Jim realized going to the living quarters was not the best decision. Kahiel thought perhaps he would find them in the communal shower. That cleared up a number of things in Kahiel's mind about the elves' hygiene! fireguy15207 assumed they'd be gathered in the MiniTru lounge. Even for a Farker like fireguy, the debauchery that obviously takes place in the lounge was unsettling. Yak knew he'd find his evil twin in his office. He may have been under some piles of paper, but if so, Yak (the good twin) wasn't about to touch anything to try to find Yak (the evil twin). It was the Council's worst fear--MiniTru elves on the loose--on Planet Bob--without supervision! Now, for the sake of everything good and decent, for the protection of Planet Bob, and as a last ditch desperation resort, they wish to post this: If you should encounter any of the above individuals, please DO NOT try to apprehend them, as they are dangerous, most likely inebriated, tell bad jokes, and probably smell bad. Instead, contact one of the (new!) members of the TotalFark Council: Raving_MainyYak (Speaker of Council) ironone fireguy15207 Randomly Jim Kahiel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Auctor Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 +++, would skip over and post at the bottom again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lennox Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 I liked this announcement. Congrats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodger Waldie Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 sweet announcement, beer for all P3[is hot} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ackbarican Idol Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 I'd like to solve the puzzle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arrnea Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 Congratulations on your erections. An excellent read, as always. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obfuse Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 I would buy a vowel but I those elves mugged me and spent my last $2 on a new beer funnel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balder Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 Congratulations FARK! Oh and please give Fireguy some work so he stops hitting on me 24/7. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoppistan Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 Is that a high quality enema bag on the picnic table? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenny N Karl Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 Congrats to you FARK. Always a fun read Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolanae Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 *cackles* B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RavingMainyYak Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 Is that a high quality enema bag on the picnic table? No. It is a cheap bargain brand. B) /and curse my goodie two shoes twin for foiling my perfect evil plan - Evil Yak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fireguy15207 Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 You know, I'm quite interested in finding out how constant drunkards managed to stack beer cans on top of each other... Congratulations to my fellow Council members. And Kahiel, we'll see you in the hazing chamber Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darklordtim Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 good and fun read as always way to go P3 and congrats to everyone elected to the council Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alfred von Tirpitz Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 meh, not shocking at all, thats is not a mess its... rather neat by some standards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rulesaints Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 I have no idea what is going on but this is an excellent announcement, Congrats to the new council (I think) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spleen63 Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 "It appears our Ministry of Truth has gone rogue, and is planning on unleashing their bizarre minds on to the OWF without restraint! I was just given this screenshot and IRC log: HAHA you misspelled rouge!! /congrats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin McDonald Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 Congratulations FARK! Oh and please give Fireguy some work so he stops hitting on me 24/7. That is the assignment he has been given. As always, my condolences on the erection results, Fark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janquel Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 Congrats, guys Thanks for letting me have a RL vacation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judge Redneck Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 I bet they all have sharp knee's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yuthura Ban Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 Could've skipped the entire thing until: Instead, contact one of the (new!) members of the TotalFark Council:Raving_MainyYak (Speaker of Council) ironone fireguy15207 Randomly Jim Kahiel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcturus Jefferson Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 Could've skipped the entire thing until: You could. If you're a philistine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marginali Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 Epic! i really love this announcement... farking cool! o/ Fark! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EViL0nE Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 Could've skipped the entire thing until: You could also skip the half gallon of captain morgan, smash your head in with a hammer and pretend it's a hangover (if)/when you wakeup the next morning, but why skip the fun part for the necessary part? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judge Redneck Posted September 1, 2009 Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 You could also skip the half gallon of captain morgan, smash your head in with a hammer and pretend it's a hangover (if)/when you wakeup the next morning, but why skip the fun part for the necessary part? You sound fat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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