Opethian Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 (edited) Hello fellow citizens of planet Bob. I come to you today with a heavy heart and a modest proposal (that doesn't involve eating poor children...necessarily*). I do not think it is necessary for me to inform you of the awesome conflagration of conflict that now burns across every corner of our globe. As causalities continue to rise exponentially and innocents the world over find themselves wrapped in the warm but cancer-inducing blanket of radioactive fallout, one cannot help but wish for all the suffering to end. I for, one, spent the whole day bathing in the glowing green embrace of this fallout and didn't develop a single super power. What I propose here is an end to all of this bloodshed, and a model for returning planet Bob to a bastion of peace and prosperity. What I propose, fellow citizens, is the Emergency Powers and Authorities Act (EPAA). Under the EPAA I shall be granted authority and sovereignty over all the lands of planet Bob in order to oversee and engage the following measures for peace: 1) All alliances larger that 5 nations shall be deemed a danger to the welfare of planet Bob. A special task force (S.N.A.R.F.) shall be assembled to seek out and destroy these groups. All of history's wars can be linked directly to the existence and proliferation of self-serving, large alliances. As such, the only solution to the problem of great wars is the removal of such entities. 2) Politics are now illegal. All nations and all denizens of planet Bob shall switch to peace mode, and neutrality will be the only acceptable stance on any given issue. In order to preserve this tranquility I will ask that nobody ever create/post in any thread outside of the water cooler ever again. Also, we must delete all records of Pre-Opethian Cybernations (PO), lest the lingering trauma of times past spark in our citizenry the desire to reignite the deadly cycle of having opinions. 3) No more acronyms. The EPAA would see all acronyms banned from the face of Planet Bob. 4) Everyone will have the same resources, events, economy and environment. Kevin shall re-program the game so that all nations are exactly like each other. Difference leads to conflict! All of these provisions shall be overseen by Grand World Emperor Opethian, of Pittsburghistan. I can assure you that, as with emergency powers acts of the past, all of this "dictator" stuff will only be temporary. Grand World Emperor Opethian shall only remain Emperor as long as he feels is necessary. *Using poor children for food is entirely optional Edited April 27, 2009 by Opethian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roymustang Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 Quite simply? Amazing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Emperor Brian Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 I'll be honest, I actually did laugh at this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
askani the rotund Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 Sounds boring Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mogar Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 I support this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Frontier Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 /s/ The Galactic Republic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
empirica Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 Would read again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Opethian Posted April 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 Sounds boring Boring is safe, citizen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rajistani Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 (edited) )): Communism )): Edited April 27, 2009 by Rajistani Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyruleland Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 Genius. Absolutely brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebony Wings Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 3) No more acronyms. The EPAA would see all acronyms banned from the face of Planet Bob. Does this mean that EPAA's final act shall be to destroy themselves? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camerontech Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 I lol'd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lamuella Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 but if you're governing Bob, who will be protecting our prisms? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Opethian Posted April 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 but if you're governing Bob, who will be protecting our prisms? Well, Ivan's going to be needing a job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Frontier Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 but if you're governing Bob, who will be protecting our prisms? I hereby donate the entire military force of TGR to protecting the prisms until such a time as the Almighty Opethian Overlords can return to duty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lamuella Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 my prisms feel secure Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otto Verteidiger Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 And if we refuse?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Opethian Posted April 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 And if we refuse?! You shall be "relocated". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metallica5000 Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 I feel safer already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maconaldric Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 I have a humble request. Why don't you take that little EPAA thingie and roll it in a nice big ball and bend over and you can guess where yo shove it. The way I see it if you had half a brain you would have acted before all hell broke loose. And now that you want to act I can only assume some imbicile is trying to gain power. If that's the case your using the EPAA thing perfectly as TISSUE PAPER. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Opethian Posted April 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 I have a humble request. Why don't you take that little EPAA thingie and roll it in a nice big ball and bend over and you can guess where yo shove it. The way I see it if you had half a brain you would have acted before all hell broke loose. And now that you want to act I can only assume some imbicile is trying to gain power. If that's the case your using the EPAA thing perfectly as TISSUE PAPER. I assure you I only have the greater interests of my fellow citizens at heart, sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharduke Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 I have a humble request. Why don't you take that little EPAA thingie and roll it in a nice big ball and bend over and you can guess where yo shove it. The way I see it if you had half a brain you would have acted before all hell broke loose. And now that you want to act I can only assume some imbicile is trying to gain power. If that's the case your using the EPAA thing perfectly as TISSUE PAPER. ...lol. I for one accept our new Opethian overlords. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x Tela x Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 I'm on board. Oh lordy at maconaldric's post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BogdanSin Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 I have a humble request. Why don't you take that little EPAA thingie and roll it in a nice big ball and bend over and you can guess where yo shove it. The way I see it if you had half a brain you would have acted before all hell broke loose. And now that you want to act I can only assume some imbicile is trying to gain power. If that's the case your using the EPAA thing perfectly as TISSUE PAPER. lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shodemofi-NPO Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 The first line made me laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.