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My humble proposal to end this conflict


Opethian
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Hello fellow citizens of planet Bob. I come to you today with a heavy heart and a modest proposal (that doesn't involve eating poor children...necessarily*).

I do not think it is necessary for me to inform you of the awesome conflagration of conflict that now burns across every corner of our globe. As causalities continue to rise exponentially and innocents the world over find themselves wrapped in the warm but cancer-inducing blanket of radioactive fallout, one cannot help but wish for all the suffering to end. I for, one, spent the whole day bathing in the glowing green embrace of this fallout and didn't develop a single super power.

What I propose here is an end to all of this bloodshed, and a model for returning planet Bob to a bastion of peace and prosperity. What I propose, fellow citizens, is the Emergency Powers and Authorities Act (EPAA). Under the EPAA I shall be granted authority and sovereignty over all the lands of planet Bob in order to oversee and engage the following measures for peace:

1) All alliances larger that 5 nations shall be deemed a danger to the welfare of planet Bob. A special task force (S.N.A.R.F.) shall be assembled to seek out and destroy these groups. All of history's wars can be linked directly to the existence and proliferation of self-serving, large alliances. As such, the only solution to the problem of great wars is the removal of such entities.

2) Politics are now illegal. All nations and all denizens of planet Bob shall switch to peace mode, and neutrality will be the only acceptable stance on any given issue. In order to preserve this tranquility I will ask that nobody ever create/post in any thread outside of the water cooler ever again. Also, we must delete all records of Pre-Opethian Cybernations (PO), lest the lingering trauma of times past spark in our citizenry the desire to reignite the deadly cycle of having opinions.

3) No more acronyms. The EPAA would see all acronyms banned from the face of Planet Bob.

4) Everyone will have the same resources, events, economy and environment. Kevin shall re-program the game so that all nations are exactly like each other. Difference leads to conflict!

All of these provisions shall be overseen by Grand World Emperor Opethian, of Pittsburghistan. I can assure you that, as with emergency powers acts of the past, all of this "dictator" stuff will only be temporary. Grand World Emperor Opethian shall only remain Emperor as long as he feels is necessary.

*Using poor children for food is entirely optional

Edited by Opethian
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I have a humble request. Why don't you take that little EPAA thingie and roll it in a nice big ball and bend over and you can guess where yo shove it. The way I see it if you had half a brain you would have acted before all hell broke loose. And now that you want to act I can only assume some imbicile is trying to gain power. If that's the case your using the EPAA thing perfectly as TISSUE PAPER.

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I have a humble request. Why don't you take that little EPAA thingie and roll it in a nice big ball and bend over and you can guess where yo shove it. The way I see it if you had half a brain you would have acted before all hell broke loose. And now that you want to act I can only assume some imbicile is trying to gain power. If that's the case your using the EPAA thing perfectly as TISSUE PAPER.

I assure you I only have the greater interests of my fellow citizens at heart, sir.

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I have a humble request. Why don't you take that little EPAA thingie and roll it in a nice big ball and bend over and you can guess where yo shove it. The way I see it if you had half a brain you would have acted before all hell broke loose. And now that you want to act I can only assume some imbicile is trying to gain power. If that's the case your using the EPAA thing perfectly as TISSUE PAPER.

...lol.

I for one accept our new Opethian overlords.

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I have a humble request. Why don't you take that little EPAA thingie and roll it in a nice big ball and bend over and you can guess where yo shove it. The way I see it if you had half a brain you would have acted before all hell broke loose. And now that you want to act I can only assume some imbicile is trying to gain power. If that's the case your using the EPAA thing perfectly as TISSUE PAPER.

lol.

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