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Molon Labe Breaking Special News


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Zephir to personally produce gas for warfare purposes!

Today, Zephir, Minister of Internal Affairs for Molon Labe and administrator of the Isengard province, announced plans to utilize his own natural fumes as an agent of warfare, sources report. Zephir's flattus, specifically banned by the Geneva convention, is known to be 100% fatal to most creatures with a sense of smell, with the odd exception of the German Shepherd, which seems to find the noxious fumes akin to catnip for cats. Zephir has to conduct all of his business in a specially built wind tunnel to prevent accidentally killing those he works with.

"That he'd even think of weaponizing it," says Jason Foxkin, shaking his head, "just goes to show just how off his rocker he's become."

Even though things have become relatively stable with the saboutage of the '1000 years of darkness' solar shade plan, this new development threatens to throw not only Molon Labe into chaos, but the world as a whole. Just one average emission is known to be enough to kill more than 10,000, and Zephir is capable of producing 100 emissions daily.

"We're looking at an unprecedented potential for mayhem and destruction," Hubert Farnsworth of the Isengard Great University says. "Oh yes, great distruction. Now where did I leave my assorted lengths of wire?"

Zephir has assurred the world that the gas will not be used except as a last resort. Still, the world is left to wonder whether the slightly less than mentally stable MoIA can be trusted not to unleash his silent but deadly horror on the world.

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Man.. this announcement Reaks!

*DC offers gas masks to all of the populace of Ozekiland and sends in his surrender papers presigned... Stop the Madness!!! He ends by including a years supply of Zoloft to help Zephir stabilize this horrible situation.

Best of luck in dealing with this internal Menace ML... We still love ya... Stick to nukes and guns and ammo next time ;)

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