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Pacific News Network presents: International Issue 8


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[center][img]http://i477.photobucket.com/albums/rr139/Atlis14/NPO/pnn-1.png[/img]
[size=2][b]PNN International Issue 8[/b][/size]
[i]"She took our money, the car, the house, but she didn't take our pens."[/i]

[b][u]Table of Contents[/u][/b]

Director's Address

Moulin Rouge: Pacifica's scandalous relationship with sexy young protectorate
Pacifican Banking Love
Pacificans Hire Phoenix Federation Escort Services
Spotlight on RnR
Truth About NPO's Nuclear Growth
CNS Bacon Incident
Krull's Comic Corner[/center]



[center][size="4"][b]Coordinator's Address[/b][/size]
by Coordinator Squintus[/center]


Greetings, Cyberverse. Rather than talk about how spectacularly great this issue is or how silly some of last issue's readers are, I'd like to address a very serious problem that affects us all each and every day. The problem of which I speak is Violence Towards Poodles. And it's happening every day. Right now. For example, did you know that more people will abuse a poodle today than will read a book to their children? It's true, and there are numbers somewhere that can back that fact up.

[center][IMG]http://i600.photobucket.com/albums/tt89/MichailLPT/gandypoodle.jpg[/IMG]
Gandy Poodle, a much abused poodle. If you see one in the wild, immediately call for help as they are not acclimated to being free and may attempt to headbutt you.[/center]

After you finish reading the below wonderful example of Pacifican Writing Excellence, show your [url=http://tribes.tribe.net/standardpoodle/thread/306608fa-313c-4035-9044-4238d8038a3a]appreciation for Poodles[/url] or get yourself worked up into a rabid frenzy of foam and rawring by spooling through [url=http://caelestia.wordpress.com/2008/12/06/poodle-abuse/]these examples[/url] of what you can do to your poodle if he has stopped having self-esteem.



[center][b][size="4"]Moulin Rouge:[/size]
[size="4"]NPO's controversial relationship with young red protectorate[/size][/b]
[b]By Letum[/b]


[img]http://i600.photobucket.com/albums/tt89/MichailLPT/hayworth.jpg[/img]
The latest target of predatory Pacifican Interests[/center]


The Pacific is know for being an order of cradle robbers, but the objective is usually to eat the illicitly procured organic material in question, rather than cultivate a relationship with it.

But recent events have called into question the voracity of Pacifican appetite. Following some high profile cases where the Pacifican meat procuring service's agents were compromised in developing countries, evidence has now emerged that the NPO has been courting the much younger [url=http://z10.invisionfree.com/Red_Nation_Union/index.php?act=idx]Red Nation Union[/url] with their ulterior evil motive being something other than gorging on the tender flesh of RNU's produce.

The diplomatic corps of the order has refused to comment on the reason for signing a treaty that so blatantly ignores the interest of the powerful culinary lobby, and there are rumours that an investigation has been launched into the organisation by the Anti-Francoist affairs committee on charges of mismanagement.

Until that has borne fruit, the attentions of the Pacifican public have turned to their new young bride. There are certainly reasons for the attraction: despite newly formed alliances often needing a sizeable core of experienced members or a high-profile and widely known leader in order to gain long term success, Red Nation Union has managed to gain traction despite lacking both. In many ways, this is a testament to the perseverance of founder Blue Moon and the talent he has managed to attract; the alliance was formed almost by accident in order to stave off new raiders, and since then has been formulating its identity on the go as it gathers more members.

Since the Moldavi Doctrine was rescinded last year, the Red Team has seen a flurry of newly established alliances sprout, but has seen few of them stand the test of time. Seven out of nine of the original signatories if the Red Dawn Economic treaty have disbanded or merged, compromising the future development of the sphere. It is the hope of the New Pacific Order that, without the burden and restrictions of reparations, Pacifica's full military and economic might can be put to use and help introduce an additional element of stability that will prevent newly sprouted flowers such as RNU from withering before they can reach full bloom.

Written by Letum
The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events.
Proudly part of PNN



[center][b][size="4"]Truth About Pacifica's Nuclear Menace[/size][/b]
[b]by Thomas Richmond[/b]


[img]http://www2.nationalreview.com/dest/2008/12/22/p1000746.jpg[/img]
[i]NPO currently commissions more than 200 Manhattan Projects to oversee its atomic research[/i][/center]


Three specifically designed BlackBerry devices are said to accompany three highest ranking officials in the New Pacific Order, according to the latest investigation conducted by independent watchdogs across Cyberverse. Certainly, Emperor Cortath possessed one; there is no doubt about that, though the identity of the other two possessors remains uncertain. Mary the Fantabulous and Trotsky'sRevenge are often considered, but no one can confirm on the speculation. The exact detail doesn’t really matter. What matters is the sole capability of these devices: to initiate a total retaliatory nuclear barrage upon any aggressor of the New Pacific Order.

Report says that the BlackBerry does not act like direct LAUNCH button, rather, it acts as efficient means of communication to get the launch order through quickly. Once the Emperor is alerted that NPO is under nuclear attacks, he may choose to log on his Facebook account via the device and order an all-out retribution. If the Emperor “fails” to deliver the command, the report reveals, any of the other two holders may play the role themselves.

This sounds indeed alarming for Planet Bob, who witnessed an explosive growth in Pacifican nuclear stockpiles. More than three thousand and six hundred warheads are being stored, not counting what lurks in one hundred Hidden Nuclear Missile Silos across Pacifica – compared to the two thousand and seven hundred warheads possessed by the Mostly Harmless Alliance, the biggest superpower in Cyber Nations. The brisk pace of the NPO’s ambitious atomic goal is frightening. No other alliance can be expected to harvest thousands of nuclear warheads within few months after a full year of disarmament.

However, the report points out that any hyperbole fear of NPO’s nuclear menace is in fact groundless. The New Pacific Order does not own atomic weapons to threaten the Cyberverse, as it is purely a means for self-defense – nothing more or less than what other alliances sought. Plus, thirty four nuclear power plants in Pacifica serve as solid proof that the Francograd regime also develops their atomic capability for peaceful purpose. Despite accusations from various factions in OWF, the Order remains clear, that their renewed power is not a brute force of oppression, but a united front in bringing stability to Planet Bob. The principles of the New Pacific Order, that of Peace, Strength, and Prosperity, seem to apply here in the nuclear topic as well.



Written by Thomas Richmond
The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events.
Proudly Part of PNN



[center][b][size="4"]Pacificans Hire Phoenix Federation Escort Services[/size].[/b]
[b]By Letum[/b]


[img]http://i600.photobucket.com/albums/tt89/MichailLPT/Fi.jpg[/img]
For once, the elitist capitalist hippies did not subvert the will of the people[/center]


It has been just under a year since the end of the Karma conflict, and whilst the NPO still feels the strains of the war and the resulting peace, the alliance nevertheless embraces its new future with a hopeful outlook.

Yet, in all that time the New Pacific Order has not forgotten those who stood beside us long beyond when they had to, driving home the importance of true friends more than any of the treaty cancellations the Pacific faced in the war. Immediately after the conflict, burdened by the immense loss that lay behind them and gloomy of the long trial of reparations that lay ahead, the people of the Pacific sought to make a heartfelt promise for the post-rep period that would give them a goal to keep spirits high. A promise that the kindness and spirit of those who stood by us to the very end would be reciprocated, in any small way that the collective of the body republic could do so.

In their masses, Pacificans pledged to send what aid they could to the TPF as soon as the Pacific was once again free. Whilst many of the people who originally signed on to that promise did not manage to survive the hardship of the cyber-realm, their voices still echo strongly. And now, 11 months from the original promise and one and a half month since the end of reparations, the members of the Order have delivered on that promise wherever possible. Under the co-ordination of the Pacific Bank, Pacifica took the same alliance-wide aid donation spirit that had been established for reps and turned it into an instrument for a good cause. In the past month, just under a billion francos in development aid was sent to our beleaguered TPF brothers.

TPF has, in many ways, drawn the short straw over the past year. Horribly punished for their long stand in Karma and losing large amounts of their strength again in the short and much criticised curb-stomp that almost spawned a world war. The gesture by the people of the order can do little to alleviate all that pain, and whilst it will certainly (we hope) provide a tangible benefit, it was not designed as an investment in an ally or a government-spurred development action. This initiative was spawned, promoted and fulfilled by the body republic in order to convey, from the bottom of each Pacifican's heart, a simple sentiment:

Thank You.


Written by Letum
The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events.
Proudly part of PNN



[center][b][size="4"]Spotlight on R&R[/size][/b]
[b]By Iamthey[/b]


[IMG]http://i477.photobucket.com/albums/rr139/Atlis14/Media/RnR.png[/IMG][/center]


Residing on the Orange sphere is a less public member of the Superfriends MDoAP bloc. As of July 7th, 294 members strong the alliance R&R has been a persistent fixture of the Cyberverse since November 13th of 2006, the day of their founding. The alliance ‘s roots derive from the forum collective, [url=http://forum.americasarmy.com/viewforum.php?f=55 ]‘America’s Army’[/url], a community which plays various games produced and distributed by the US Army and Ubisoft as part of a public relations campaign and recruitment booster. Their founding member was the player Commander Canuck, who joined Cyber Nations on November 14th 2006, making his nation 1,332 days old. From early on the alliance had a close connection with the [color="#FF0000"]O[/color]range alliance[color="#FF0000"],[/color] IRON[color="#FF0000"],[/color] which served as an early mentor to the young alliance as well as an example that Canuck learned from through a period of sabbatical away from R&R. The alliance grew fairly rapidly at the start, a week after creation they had reached 20 members, eventually reaching 50 members. They now hold a total strength of 5,208,967, and are 16th in the world for strength, and 18th for score.

Diplomatically the alliance has been connected into the web from the beginning. One of several MADP blocs at the time R&R joined the Sphere comprising of such members as the Blue Turtle Alliance, Guns of Glory, and the Entente of the Sun. Furthermore they were a member of the League of Extraordinary Oranges, an Orange MDoAP Bloc led at the time primarily by FOK. This particular sphere through a number of irregular occurrences was ultimately dragged into GWIII in which they fought as a part of Aegis against the Initiative and their allies. Through their treaty to FoK they were involved in the Unjust War fighting as a member of the Unjust Highway against ~, ultimately surrendering to NoV. More recently as a member of the SuperFriends, they have fought in the Karma War as a member of Karma, and later in the TOP-CNG war again in connection with SF. This time along with Silence, and CRAP they took on directly the alliances Argent and Fifth Column Confederation, ultimately securing a bloody victory. Applying the lesson they learned from their early participation in GWIII, they now the victors, acted with honor and agreed to an amicable white peace.

The alliance now moves forward into the future under the close direction of its three triumvirs, DemonSpawn, EgoFreaky, and cmf0203, a solid group backed by a solid history, the road ahead seems fairly secure.


Written by Iamthey
The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events.
Proudly part of PNN



[center][size="4"][b]Dozens Mentally Hurt In Bacon Accident [/b][/size]
[b]by Thomas Richmond[/b]


[img]http://www.funeskape.com/funnypictures/i/040609b3c835alazy-firefighter.jpg[/img]
[i]Flammable newsletters have become a routine for OWF flamefighters[/i][/center]


Sources close to OWF Administration Office confirmed the initially-sketchy report that a major fire has broken out a few weeks ago in the heart of Alliance Announcement subforum. The cause of the flaming bonfire appeared to be caused by a certain alliance known to outsiders as Commonwealth of Sovereign Nations, who, according to the account, attempted to conduct a public relations stunt via a “fashionable, yet equally unpredictable” method which is universally acknowledged by all Cyberverse dwellers to be indeed horrifying unpredictable: posting a newsletter.

“Everyone and their brother have decided that coming out with a newsletter is the best thing to do,” an Administration Office spokesman addressed the bemused crowd in AA subforum nervously, “Perhaps it's to kill boredom, perhaps its to make the rest of the world aware that they still exist”

The spokesman has made his point by having indeed gone beyond the realm of boredom. Almost halfway into the tedious newsletter, Bacon Girl of the (Bi)Week appeared on stage with trays of bacon, and started to sizzle the bacon while maneuvering (what the spokesman insisted to be) sexy moves. General Stats are brought onto the plates. Followed by Maroon Stats. Embassy Policy. The grilling scenes faded into whirlpool of irrelevant data. The assembled crowd, exposed with lethal dose of randomness, then took the matter into their own hands.

“We received distress call from the subforum around half an hour after the Bacon Girl appeared,” the OWF Admin Office source said. The mob surged onto the thread, and exercised the classic flaming procedure. Bacon Girl barely survived the torching spree – she was last seen dodging a “BILROW IS EVIL” comment that flew out of nowhere. Dozens were slightly injured in the accident. By the evening, the thread was declared officially well-done.

Some took the incident in good jest, however. “Suddenly, I like bacon a lot more than I used to,” commented a passerby, brushing the ash off his shoulder.



Written by Thomas Richmond
The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events.
Proudly Part of PNN



[center][size="4"][b]Power girl - issue 13, DC comics[/b][/size]
[b]By Krulltopia[/b]

[img]http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/7700/powerq.jpg[/img]
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Busty Airborne Lass![/center]

Power Girl is one of those characters that, when you are talking about her you usually find yourself saying the words, “ok, let me explain”. Power Girl has a VERY convoluted history, but it can be best summed up as ”she’s an alternate universe version of Super girl.” There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

This series has now changed creative teams, so I thought it would be a good time to a review of it. The previous creative team’s run was very popular, due to the fun tone and the wonderful art by Amanda Conner. In a world populated by grim and dark characters, with most comics being all grim in tone (see Blackest Night by DC as an example, I guess) Power Girl as written by Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti was a breath of fresh air, and it managed to be a fun read without taking itself too seriously. Now Judd Winick has taken over, we can expect a change in tone, but is it for the better?

First off, I’m glad to say that the art is fine. Sami Basri’s art is great and wonderfully expressive. The tone of the comic is a bit different, with the plot actually connecting more with current continuity than the previous run did, and this story line has strong connections with the ‘Brightest Day’ event, although it doesn’t quite carry the banner. Basically, the event has resulted in a bunch of resurrections, both heroes and villains, and the story starts off with Superman calling EVERYONE to hunt just one, very dangerous villain (also a former good guy) Maxwell Lord. Those who’ve read Brightest Day will know how this turns out, with Lord pulling a 'Keyser Soze' on everyone. Meanwhile, Power Girl has problems of her own, as her business Starr Industries, which focuses on bringing to the market all those hi tech goodies we see in the DC universe (nanotechnology, etc), is now struggling due to an unexpected turn of events...

Ok, so it’s not the cheerful, fun comic it was with the previous creative team, but I enjoyed this issue. It has strong art, and genuinely has me interested. I heard a lot of cries of “OMG, I’m going to drop this now” when the new team was announced, but there’s no real reason to. Yes, there is a shift in tone; no, it’s not a bad thing. I’m personally going to keep this on my pull list, so Power Girl Issue 13 gets a solid 7.5/10

Written by Krulltopia
The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events.
Proudly part of PNN



[center][size="6"][b]Star Wars: Legacy - issue 49, Dark Horse[/b]
[/size]
[b]By Krulltopia[/b]
[img]http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/3020/legacyc.jpg[/img]
Cool Jedi don’t look at explosions[/center]

Well, when I finished this issue, I looked at the letters page and suddenly realised that this series has been cancelled, from issue 50. I hadn’t heard about this, so I was rather surprised to say the least. Dark Horse have decided to cancel one of their best selling Star Wars series, and one of their best selling series overall, coming second only to Buffy season eight. Considering the fact that there are dozens of plot lines that will be left hanging, as there is no way they can all be tied up sensibly in the next issue, it makes even less sense. Anyway, here is the review.

Star Wars: Legacy is set approximately one hundred and thirty seven years after the Battle of Yavin (when the first Death Star went boom), and is part of the huge Star W_ars Expanded Universe collection of comics, cartoons and books. The Empire has arisen again in the form of a new, mostly benevolent one led by the force sensitive Emperor Fel, who has at his command the Force Neutral Imperial Knights. At the beginning of Legacy, the Empire was involved in a war against the Jedi in an attempt to wipe them out (again). However, this was part of the manipulations of the One Sith Order, who then took the opportunity to coup Fel, plunging the galaxy into a massive, multi-sided war.

So after about fifty issues worth of twists and turns, we get the point we are at now. Cade Skywalker, one of the last descendants of Anakin and Luke, is finally beginning to accept his Jedi heritage, and is now intent on hunting down the Sith and breaking the One Sith Order. Recently, the One Sith have wiped out the planet Dac/Mon Calamari (where Admiral Ackbar came from) via an engineered super virus and, when the survivors fled into Hutt space and were harboured by them, the Sith infected the Hutt planets too. So now the Sith have the Fel Empire, the Galactic Alliance (think Rebel Alliance only bigger) the Jedi and the Hutts against them. That was smart. Cade, who became a bounty hunter after the Jedi Purge, is contracted by the Hutts to kill a certain Sith responsible, but who can only be lured out by using the Galactic Alliance leader as unknowing bait.


Meanwhile, Emperor Fel’s daughter has been captured by the Sith, and a rescue/silencing plan is hatched by Imperial Knight Antares Draco. The rescue may be complicated by Draco’s love for the Princess, his own anger, and that the Sith Master currently torturing the princess is a former Imperial Knight...

There are literally dozens of different plot points still hanging around. Granted, this does make it difficult for new readers to join in, but of course it doesn’t matter because it’s being cancelled next issue. Anyway, this issue is as solid as usual, with the same good art and intrigue riddled plot as this series as shown throughout its run. So, I give the Penultimate issue of Star Wars: Legacy 8/10.

Written by Krulltopia
The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events.
Proudly part of PNN



[center]
[color="#FF0000"][size="7"][i][b]Special Pacific News Network Announcement[/b][/i][/size][/color]
By Imperial Officer Brennan

It has been brought to the attention of the editors of the Pacific News Network that there is a very special birthday boy out there. As Imperial Officer of News and Propaganda and Huggles, I would like to wish a Very Happy Birthday to Penkala!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you enjoy the gift that we have made for you:

[img] http://i28.tinypic.com/of27ug.gif[/img][/center]



[center]**********************


[b]PNN International 8[/b] ends here!
The next issue of [b]PNN International[/b] coming soon - stay tuned![/center]

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[quote name='Craig' date='17 July 2010 - 01:35 AM' timestamp='1279344906' post='2375537']
I know this is supposed to be something for good PR but for some reason reading Pacifican posts just make me like you less.
[/quote]
[IMG]http://i477.photobucket.com/albums/rr139/Atlis14/Media/Haters.gif[/IMG]

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[quote]The alliance now moves forward into the future under the close direction of its three triumvirs, DemonSpawn, EgoFreaky, and cmf0203, a solid group backed by a solid history, the road ahead seems fairly secure.[/quote]

uhhh Demon is with CMEA now

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[quote name='Brenann' date='17 July 2010 - 12:43 AM' timestamp='1279345365' post='2375547']
[IMG]http://i477.photobucket.com/albums/rr139/Atlis14/Media/Haters.gif[/IMG]
[/quote]
[img]http://cdn.theurbandaily.com/files/2009/06/chappelle-player-haters-ball.jpg[/img]
I can't help it.

Edited by Craig
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We apologise for the minor inconsistencies and obsolescences in the RnR article, our spell-checking and fact-updating robots have recently broken up and aren't talking to each other.

An updated version will be included soon.

Edited by Letum
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Awesome :)someone knows us XD Must have been hell to write that article with our awesomely outdated wiki XD

Fun read like always! Keep up the good work.

And Happy birthday Penkala, enjoy your birthday. I would offer you a drink but it will probably take another 9 years before you're of drinking age :awesome:

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[quote name='EgoFreaky' date='17 July 2010 - 03:33 AM' timestamp='1279351988' post='2375635']
Awesome :)someone knows us XD Must have been hell to write that article with our awesomely outdated wiki XD

Fun read like always! Keep up the good work.

And Happy birthday Penkala, enjoy your birthday. I would offer you a drink but it will probably take another 9 years before you're of drinking age :awesome:
[/quote]
EGO! We sent iamthey on a trek across superfriends territory to talk to you.

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[quote name='Brenann' date='17 July 2010 - 09:43 AM' timestamp='1279352574' post='2375639']
EGO! We sent iamthey on a trek across superfriends territory to talk to you.
[/quote]


That's just cruel!

He'll probably just get distracted by farkistani boobs, bacon and beer and end up insane in some random alliance.

:( Poor iamthey... you'll be missed :(

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[quote name='Brenann' date='17 July 2010 - 08:43 PM' timestamp='1279352574' post='2375639']
EGO! We sent iamthey on a trek across superfriends territory to talk to you.
[/quote]

Maybe he lost his way and went to Silence, since they fought Argent and FCC.

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[quote name='Alterego' date='17 July 2010 - 11:12 AM' timestamp='1279357919' post='2375673']
What does this mean?
[/quote]

I think it means that IRON is an alliance on the orange team XD

If you're reffering to the red O and 2 red ,, I'm guessing it's from the spell check.

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[quote name='Banksy' date='17 July 2010 - 01:24 PM' timestamp='1279365865' post='2375710']
I think we all know it's because IRON is moving to red :s
[/quote]

Nope "IRRN" wouldn't be nearly as cool :awesome:

Edited by ccabal86
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